I Don't Deserve This
by 0YinANDYang0
Summary: Max was recently in an abusive relationship, but left with the help of her friends Nudge and Ella. Her second year of college gone, she has nothing to do over summer break except mope...until her two friends gift her with a three-month trip to Hawaii. While there, she and her friends meet three guys who could just be the loves of the their lives. AU, lemons, trigger warning.
1. Chapter I: Surprise!

**I DON'T DESERVE THIS**

Summary: Max was recently in an abusive relationship, but got out with the help of her friends Nudge and Ella. Her second year of college gone (all three are 20 years old), she has nothing to do over summer break except mope...until her two friends gift her with a three-month, all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii to take her mind off things. While there, she and her friends meet three guys who could just be the loves of their lives. Inspired by "Circles" by Hollywood Undead. WARNINGS: AU, OOC, intense language, dark themes, lemons 'n' limes. Rated M for a reason, people.

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own Maximum Ride or its characters (all of that belongs to the genius who is James Patterson). I DO own my conscious thought and the plotline in this story, though, so please don't print or copy and paste without my permission.

**CHAPTER I**

_"You bitch!" he snarled. I felt the sting on my cheek, and my head swung to the side, making a sick "crack" sound against the drywall. "You think you can disobey me just because you want to?" I felt the sting again, heard the "crack" again as the wall broke under the force. I felt myself falling, and I crashed down on the floor on my butt. My breath left my in a huff._

_"I'm s-s-sorry," I whimpered, covering my head. There was a sudden, searing pressure against my rib cage, and another, different cracking sound. I felt flames pour out of my side, but when I looked through my tears, there was no fire._

_"Sorry doesn't change things!" he growled, and kicked me again. And again. And again. And again. I fell on my side and curled in a fetal position, but the kicking didn't stop, and I think my vision went black around the edges, but I couldn't be sure. My eyes were closed. "Get UP, you useless piece of shit!"_

_I attempted to scramble to my feet, but the pain was too intense, and I was showered with horrible bolts of lightening, hitting me, kicking me, slapping me, hurting me. I cowered in fear, unable to move, unable to save myself._

_"S-stop!" I whispered. I couldn't make my voice any louder. The pain was too much. It hurt, threatened to suck me under. "P-please." He couldn't hear me. The kicking didn't cease, but it slowed, as if he was getting tired. I grasped the opportunity. "D-Dylan. Dylan, you're h-hurting me."_

"You're _hurting me!_" I screeched, my voice finally grasping volume. I shot up out of bed, horrified. My head swerved from side to side. I saw no threats, but my heart rate didn't lower and my breathing was still heavy. It was dark, I noticed; the glowing numbers on my digital clock pronounced that it was 3:30 in the AM. I fell back against my pillow.

It had been two months since I'd left that son of a bitch, Dylan. But I hadn't done it alone. I'd practically been forced by my best friends, Tiffany (affectionately called Nudge) and Ella, to break it off. It had happened after they noticed a particularly large bruise on my face, hardly coverable by makeup. They hadn't known it got that bad; they believed the abuse was purely emotional, and though they greatly disapproved and I got many lectures, they couldn't force me to budge.

Since that time, I'd been having nightmares every other night—and paranoia issues 24/7.

I shivered and grabbed my cell phone off my nightstand, quickly pulling the covers over my head for warmth; the sweat that covered my like a film was giving me a chill. I hurriedly texted my friends.

**r u guys awake?**

The reply was almost immediate, and I felt a pang of guilt for making them both so anxious.

**Nudge: **_**always...wats up?**_

**Ella: **_**tell me evrything.**_

I told them about my dream—leaving out the swears and the emotions that had coursed through my dreaming brain—and there was hardly a pause before I got my replies.

**Nudge: **_**im sorry max. want us to come over?**_

**Ella: **_**hang in there, im on my way.**_

I winced. That hadn't been what I was going for. I didn't want to rouse them from their sleep—or potential sleep, at least. I felt like a horrible person for forcing them to feel sorry for me. Pity was the last thing I wanted.

I peered out of my cocoon of sheets at my clock. 4:00. I hated myself even more. A sudden buzz from my phone made me jump, and I looked at it warily.

**Ella: **_**dont feel guilty. its our decision. im almost there.**_

Her kind words made me want to cry. Feeling the wetness in the corners of my eyes, I immediately shut myself down. I had to be strong. My life was screwed up, but I had to be the tough one. If not for my dad or for my friends, for myself. I didn't want to succumb to the whimpering baby I'd been when I was still with _him. _I was better than that now. I had to be. My fingers automatically texted the two back with a quick note of thanks.

I took a deep breath to steady myself and looked out my window at the darkness. Then I remembered. Today was the first day of summer. I actually found myself stifling a giggle at how highschool-esque that sounded. Then I felt a familiar bleakness crawl into my mind. Without school to occupy my attention, I would have more time to think. With more time to think, I'd have more time to remember. With more time to remember, I'd have more flashbacks, more nightmares about the abusive asshole who'd caused me so much pain. I gritted my teeth and got up, stretching my thin form, taking care as I straightened my favorite black camisole so it wasn't scrunched up around my torso and pulled down the edges of my knee-length grey yoga pants that had begun to ride up. It was my favorite sleeping outfit: comfy, light, and cute.

Yawning, I made my way downstairs, trying not to wake my mother and sister, the latter being Angelica, known to family and close friends as Angel. A quick bowl of cereal later and I was opening the door for my two bedraggled friends. They made their way over to the table with me in tow, and when we reached it, we all sat down. Ella looked at me with determined eyes.

"Tell us everything."

When I finished and everyone had done their songs and dances (AKA, "It's okay, Max," and "Everything's fine. He's not going to hurt you anymore, Max."), there was silence. I looked down at the table, unable to meet anyone's eyes. I felt so weak and needy. Nudge cleared her throat, and I braced myself for the chatterbox's monologue.

"We need to get you outta here," she said firmly, and I looked at her in surprise. She shot a quick glance over at Ella, who nodded, inviting her to go on. Now I was curious.

"Whaaa?" was my intelligent reply.

"We need to—" she started again, but I cut her off.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard that," I interrupted briskly. "What do you mean? Like, a vacation?"

"Exactly!" Nudge exclaimed, then clapped a hand over her mouth. I glanced at the clock. It was about five. Mom and Angel were still sleeping. I raised an eyebrow.

"We think that a change of scenery would be a welcome change," Ella continued as if none of that had passed. I turned my attention to her. "We were brainstorming with your mom about...well, taking you on a sort of long vacation with us. To somewhere nice. Away from here."

"How far away?" I asked, and noted with deepening suspicion that the two glanced at each other.

"Well, like...Hawaii?" Nudge replied. It sounded like a question. I stared at her, confused. Hawaii? Why...how...when...? I mentally slapped myself for thinking so incoherently. Yes, Hawaii, Maximum! That IS what she said, isn't it? But...how...? Okay, back to the incoherency...

"I can't afford Hawaii," I said stiffly, so as not to confuse my already muddled brain. Nudge grinned.

"That's just it, Max!" she practically shouted, and Ella and I shushed her. She sheepishly hung her head before continuing in a quieter voice. "Well, like, my grandparents have a bajillion frequent flyer miles and stuff from all their vacationing, and so they said they'd put the miles towards tickets for us if we wanted, and plus we all have money set aside for college, but we already got grants and part-ride scholarships so we didn't need any of it, so all of that is going to be more than enough to get us there and back. I guess it would be enough even without the savings on our part, but I mean, you're always so stubborn about finances, so I assumed you would want to have some of your own money in the pool. But my grandparents would be happy to cover it all. I'm their favorite. I'm also the prettiest. They told me on my last visit there. They said, 'Tiffany, you're honestly the prettiest girl in the world.' Can you believe—mmrphg!"

Ella quickly covered Nudge's mouth with her hand once she realized the rambling had started. I grinned. This was nothing new.

"So..." I said after a moment of silence, so casually that there was a round of giggles from everybody. "When do we pack?"

Nudge clapped excitedly and Ella's usual smile grew wider. The latter hurriedly filled me in on the details.

"The plane is taking off at about eleven o'clock tonight, so we should get to the airport around ten," Ella quickly calculated. "That means we should leave at 9:30 or so, just in case of traffic. It won't hurt if we get there a little bit on the early side."

"Tonight?" I asked incredulously. "How am I supposed to pack for a trip to Hawaii in less than a day?" I froze at their expressions, which were slowly turning into smiles so large I thought their mouths would just fall off their faces onto the table. "What?"

"We already packed," Nudge replied briskly, quite unusual for her. I raised an eyebrow. She shrugged. "So we could, you know. Help you."

I was practically beaming. "Thanks, guys. I'll tell my mom when she gets up. She'll need to know where I'm going for...how long is this going to be?"

"All summer long!" my friends chorused, and I laughed at their corny reference to Kid Rock.

"And your mom already knows," Ella added, looking embarrassed. "We were both kind of counting on you saying yes, so...surprise!"

I laughed again. They sure knew how to turn the mood around. This was going to be awesome!

"What are we waiting for?" I asked with a smirk. "Let's get cracking!"

"This is so amazing!" Nudge squealed as we felt the familiar butterflies that meant the plane was descending. "We're in freaking Hawaii! Like, wow! Can you believe it? We're gonna get leis and we're gonna go to luaus and everything is gonna be so epically cool! Do they really have pigs with apples in their mouths at luaus? Not that I'm insulting the culture here or anything, but that's just so gross. I wouldn't want to eat a pig. I mean, I guess I eat ham and stuff, but actually looking at its face? I don't know if I could...um..."

Nudge shifted and fidgeted in her seat as a flight attendant walked by, eyeing her with a slightly bemused look. Ella and I grinned at each other and Ella made a "zip" motion across her mouth. I had to laugh. Then the seatbelt light came on, and the pilot gave his spiel about landing. I was practically bouncing in my seat with anticipation by the time he was finished. I looked over at the others, wondering if they were excited as I was.

Then we fell out of the sky.

"Oh, my God!" I exclaimed. I grabbed Ella's arm. "We're gonna die!"

She looked at me like someone would look at a turtle who just barked. "Max, chill! We're just going down."

"That's what I'm afraid of!" I practically wailed, looking around frantically and ignoring the glances. Come to think of it, it might very well have just been some random encounter with turbulence. But for someone who hates flying with a vengeance (ahem, me) and tightly enclosed spaces (me again), descending _from the sky _in a bumpy manner might very well be the source behind some nightmares for weeks to come.

Ella grabbed my arm to steady me, and I calmed slightly. If my friends weren't scared, I had nothing to be afraid of, right? Anyway, almost as soon as she touched me, the plane hit the ground. We bounced a few times before finally sticking, and the pilot talked us through the unloading process as we taxied.

"Alright, guys," the crackly voice said. "For those of you coming to Hawaii for the first time, and even those experienced travelers, aloha!" There was a chorus of alohas back at him, and a round of laughter. "Since we've had so many flights here today, all of the terminals are being used. That means we get to kick you all out on the tarmac!" A few laughs. "Tough crowd. Anyway, we're going to get a couple of stairs out here so y'all can get off without breaking your legs, and there are going to be some nice ladies handing out complimentary leis for the trouble. Aloha again, and mahalo for flying with us to Hawaii."

As promised, we were soon off the plane and heading across the airport with purple leis around our necks, talking and laughing.

"That was such a long flight!" Nudge complained. "I wanted to get up and walk or something, but I couldn't. I mean, how hard would it have been for you two just to move so I could pee? Not hard, right?"

Before she could start an all-out rant, Ella broke in. "I thought it was a great flight...until _someone_ thought the plan was crashing." She eyed me warily.

"I don't like flying," I muttered. "But at least I didn't annoy the flight attendants every time they walked by!"

Nudge rolled her eyes and flicked her hand, dismissing my jab. "Whatever. Let's just get to the resort."

"Ooh, resort," I teased. "Fancy."

"It is, actually," Ella chimed in as we paused momentarily for a ruffled family of five to cross our path. "Its rating was amazing. They've got individual cottages for different people to rent out. Plus they rent out snorkel and scuba supplies. And they have a food court, gift shop, and a complex full of department stores."

"So we had to pack why?" I asked sarcastically as we resumed our walk. Ella looked up at a sign and we abruptly turned left. I had to jog to keep up. "And where are we going? Checked bags are the other way."

Ella groaned and I laughed as we made a wide u-turn. "I hate airports."

"Why?" Nudge asked, sounding stunned. "This is a _Hawaiian _airport. It's beautiful here. And it's mostly outside. Do you find it strange at all that the weather here is nicer than it is back in Arizona? 'Cause this is Hawaii, y'know, and it's always supposed to be hot here? Or is this like the year-round temperature? If that's the case, I definitely want to move to Hawaii. Well, maybe I would move here even if it snowed all the time, because it's so beautiful. Ooh, unless the snow made it ugly. Then I would want to live somewhere prettier. I guess Arizona—"

"We're here," I interrupted, and Ella shot me a thankful glance. We waited for our checked luggage to arrive on the conveyer belt and quickly rolled them in the direction the sign that stated "Hotel Pickups" pointed. Directions were extremely overrated, as it turned out, because we ended up by the bathrooms.

"Ugh," I moaned. "Why would they do that?"

Nudge and Ella shrugged, and we looked around for more signs that would hopefully be more help than the ones we had recently encountered.

"Need some help?" a voice asked. We turned and saw three guys about our ages standing there. There was a pale, blonde one and a brown-haired, slightly tanned one. But I wasn't really looking at them. I was looking at the God who had spoken, standing in the middle. He was very tan with dark hair and deep brown eyes. He was wearing a short-sleeved black dress shirt, but I could still see the ripple of well-toned muscles under it as he moved.

I quickly shut my gaping mouth to avoid catching flies and said, "Yeah, um...do you know where hotel pickup is?"

"Sign didn't help?" the blonde one muttered, and the brunette punched him playfully.

"It's that way," the latter instructed us, pointing. "It's where we're going, too."

I waited, but no one seemed to move an inch. Sighing, I started walking quickly, and heard Nudge and Ella follow. The boys easily kept pace off to our left. I rolled my eyes. It felt like forever, but we finally made it. I looked back at Ella, who nodded towards a bus that read "OCEAN VILLAGE RESORT" on its side. A man stood next to the door, talking to people and helping them load their luggage under the bus. Sweet. I made a move to walk over to it, but Ella shook her head and nodded again, this time over to the right. I slid my gaze over and saw a red convertible with the top down. The license plate read "RENTAL: 1274855". My jaw dropped.

"That's the resort," Ella told me as we walked over to the car. "But I decided it might be nice to rent a car so we can drive around the island a bit instead of just relying on cabs and buses for three months." We crammed our luggage in the small trunk. "This company charges by the month for residents and long-stay vacationers so...I thought why not get a nice car?"

Ella got in the driver's seat as Nudge and I hopped in the back. I had to admit, her logic was uncanny. Nudge glanced behind us and giggled.

"Guess who just got on the bus?" she whispered excitedly. I turned just in time to see my personal Greek God hit the steps and disappear. They were going. To our resort. Our resort. _Our freaking resort._

For the first time that vacation, I relaxed in my seat and closed my eyes.

"This is going to rock."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, how am I doing? Do you want this story to continue? COMMENT, PEOPLE! The more reviews I get, the faster I update. That's the deal here. If you guys can somehow come up with ten by the end of the day, I'll get the next chapter up by tomorrow. 'Cause I'm just that awesome. Peace out, yo. =D**

**-YAY**


	2. Chapter II: Daydreaming

**CHAPTER II**

"Holy freaking guacamole," Nudge breathed, practically speechless for once. I glanced over at her and grinned to show that I totally agreed. As we drove up to the resort, I couldn't suppress a low whistle myself. It was gorgeous.

We were currently driving up a long paved path lined with palm trees and strategically placed driftwood and beach plants. A black wrought iron gate suddenly appeared, flawless fitted into a long brick wall that probably enclosed the place. A low, tropical hedge—meticulously trimmed to OCD perfection, of course—concealed the bottom half of the wall. It was beautiful and rich-looking, but somehow managed to not look snobbish.

Ella pulled up to a little brick kiosk-type thing, where a frighteningly perky girl about our age stood smiling, her hands full of brochures and the computer behind her glowing with anticipation. They resembled each other.

"Hello," the girl greeted warmly. "Welcome to Ocean View Resort! Do you lovely ladies have reservations for cottages, private cottages, or scuba and/or snorkeling gear? If not, it's all available right here. All you have to do is ask!"

"She didn't even take a breath," Nudge whispered, leaning over to me. She looked impressed. I stifled a giggle.

Ella gave the woman our names and Miss Sunshine clicked something on her computer, quickly typing in our names. Her smile widened when she saw our names on her list, and I rolled my eyes. Her mouth was seriously going to be sore later. She then hit some button under her desk and the gated opened. Ella hit the accelerator and we were in, driving up a path even better than the one we'd just been on.

"Enjoy your stay!" Miss Sunshine called after us. We enjoyed a good laugh before Ella pulled over to the right into a cutesy parking area as instructed in a brochure the girl had left us with. Now came the walk.

So this was our cottage. I shook my head in disbelief, trying to clear my brain. I couldn't believe this.

As it turned out, the resort was divided into four "individual" places. When we entered, we were going down the road that led through the entire place and would eventually land out on the other side—to Honolulu. In the middle, the road ran over a cute fairytale creek lined with smooth stones. That little creek divided the two "tourist" places (the shops, the stores, the rental places, and restaurants) from the cottages, both private (schmancy) and so-called residential (normal). Since Ella had taken my wellbeing into her hands, she had chosen private, and as I stood in front of the two-story, cream-colored brick _house _that was where we would stay for three months, I shook my head and sighed. Ella looked at me curiously, and, if I wasn't mistaken, worriedly. I knew what she thought I was thinking about, and as convoluted as it was, I also knew that I had to stop her from thinking what I thought she thought I was thinking.

Ouch.

"It's just..." I started, and paused, trying to think about words that would describe my feelings. "I don't know. I feel like all of this is too good to be true. Like I'm just going to wake up and it's all going to be over. Every moment gets even better than the last. I don't want it to end."

"Max," Ella said suddenly, startling me. She was usually the quieter one of the three of us, and I was surprised to hear such firmness in her tone. She grasped me shoulders. "This is not a dream. Okay? This is real life. We. Are. In. Hawaii. If you want to ruin this for yourself, go ahead. Actually...forget I just said that. This is all about you. _You _are the reason we're all here right now. This is for you. So shut your freaking mouth and have a good time, or so help me, I will drown you in the goddamn ocean!"

The contrast between her words and her tone were too much: I laughed. I stopped when Nudge glared at me.

"Seriously, Max," she snapped. "Your are _so _not going to be a killjoy while we're here, or I will help Ella murder you."

I rolled my eyes and grasped my suitcase, walking down the narrow, matching brick pathway to our "cottage." I heard my friends sigh, and then their footsteps, telling me that they were following close behind. When I reached the light-colored wood door, I stepped aside and let Ella use our key to open it. When I stepped inside, I froze.

The floors were a sun-bleached sort of light, light yellow-brown. Despite the homey exterior, the interior was totally slick and modern. White dominated the walls, with subtle highlights of light lime beams in the corners. A couple of green and white abstract paintings spotted the more empty walls. The furniture was chic and comfortable-looking, with white upholstery and, on the chairs, couches, etc., sporting legs made of wood that matched the floor perfectly. The light fixture above me was a chandelier of sorts, except instead of little glass beads throwing light in all directions, there were rectangular glass plates that split the light and made little rainbows float around on the ceiling. A kitchen stood off to the right of the foyer we stood in, and a living area with a white-and-glass plasma screen TV off to the left.

"Wow," Nudge stated as she pushed past me. She stopped and surveyed the scene, placing her hands on her hips. "Looks good. Better than the brochure."

"By far," Ella agreed as she stuck her luggage off to the side. She looked at me without moving her head. "Ready to start unpacking?"

I groaned. I knew there would be a downside to this. Couldn't we at least go swimming first?

"Aw," Nudge complained. "Come on. Can't we just go swimming first? I put my swimsuit on top and everything!"

Talk about mind-reading.

"I agree with Nudge," I said. I put a hand on my hip defiantly. "We can unpack later...like, three months later."

Nudge laughed and we slapped high-fives before grabbing our stuff and running for the subtly built stairs on the opposite side of the building. Ella sighed but followed us, and soon we were all upstairs ogling the hallway that lead into a bajillion rooms. Okay, six, but still.

Ella bravely walked up to one and opened it. "Bathroom," she called out. We followed suit, and soon found that we had one standalone bathroom, four bedrooms with two adjoining bathrooms (one for every two bedrooms), and a walk-in storage or clothes closet.

We decided the latter.

After scanning all of the rooms, Ella claimed the one furthest from the staircase. I picked the one that attached to hers with the bathroom. Nudge was left with a choice of one on the other side of the hallway, and she chose the one closest to the stairs. When I walked into mine, the crammed rollaboard that I'd thought had been so full suddenly felt empty. The room felt so big because of the bright white that cloaked the walls, but in reality it was pretty much the size of my bedroom at home.

I walked across the plush golden carpet and opened up my pack, dumping all of the belongings I brought into a drawer in the white bureau. I looked in the mirror and smiled. My light brown hair was slightly mussed, but it looked fine. My face was sparkling and excited, my brown eyes practically twinkling. Working quickly, I grabbed the first swimsuit I saw in my case (my friends had made me pack three) and I had to suppress a groan as I pulled it on. It was a one-piece, sure, but you wouldn't be able to tell from a distance. It was baby blue and highlighted my fair skin and thin figure. The sides were cut away, and there was just a thin strip of fabric running from the—er—bottom area to the top area. The very top was low-cut and spaghetti straps tied behind my neck. The back was completely gone except for the obvious areas, I noticed as I spun around in front of the mirror. I felt slightly self-conscious, but that feeling was gone when Ella walked into the room and whistled. I felt the blush rise in my cheeks as I turned to her.

"You look hot," she assured me, and I couldn't help but think the same of her in her simple black bikini that left little to the imagination. Nudge walked in baring a yellow tankini with a neckline that plunged to the middle of her torso. She didn't look bad, either.

After we complimented each other, we pulled on t-shirts and short shorts, grabbed our towels, and headed out to the nearby beach. As we walked down the sand-covered asphalt path that would eventually lead us to our heaven on earth, we talked. About...stuff.

"Oh. My. Gawd. Did you _see _those hot guys back at the airport?" Nudge gushed. Ella smiled and I rolled my eyes, but internally, I was still thinking about God. And "Oh. My. Gawd," was an understatement when it came to him. I tried to recall his voice, but my mind kept pulling up voices that were close, but no cigar. It had been deep and mellow and tense and mysterious and sexy...oh, God, was it sexy. I mentally slapped myself. I had to snap out of this. I didn't even know the guy, and already I was hearing voices in my head.

"Max."

Oh, crap. This was it. I was officially going off the deep end.

"Max."

"Shut up!" I exclaimed, and broke out of my reverie to find that we'd reached the beach and I was standing there like an idiot while my friends tried to awaken me from my stupid intoxication.

Poetic, I know.

"Max?" Nudge looked at me with questioning eyes. I felt my face heat up. So it hadn't been in my head.

"I'm fine," I assured her briskly, looking around. We'd slept practically the entire time we were at the airport and most of the time on the plane sleeping (plus the flight was delayed two hours—bonus sleep), so we were probably unnaturally hyper for the time of day, which—according to the sky and the watch on my arm—was around 7 o'clock. The beach would be filling up fast. "Where should we set up?"

Ella walked over to an area just out of reach of the waves and swung her towel down with a flourish. She grinned. "Here."

We set up the rest of our things (AKA towels) and peeled off our cover-ups. There were a few people on the beach, but most of them were just there for the sun before things got too crowded. There were a couple of surfers out on the morning waves. I sighed when I remembered that we'd forgotten sunscreen. My friends looked at me as if they realized it, too, and Nudge got up wordlessly, motioning towards the little tourist shop at the edge of the sand. They'd have sun block there.

"This is nice," I sighed, leaning back on my hands. I pushed my feet into the powder-soft sand and wiggled my toes, watching the grains fall to the ground like water. The sun was already warming me, and I let my head fall back on my shoulders as I closed my eyes and let the rays hit me.

Something touched my arm, and I opened my eyes, expecting to see Nudge. Instead, I saw a huge guy, muscles rippling, eyes taunting. A jock. I narrowed my eyes at him when I realized he wasn't going anywhere and he was staring openly at my chest. Getting to my feet, I was about to tell him to go ogle someone else when he spoke in his deep, steroid-enhanced voice.

"Hey, hottie," he greeted maliciously, and my heart froze in my chest. I looked into his eyes and saw more than just playfulness. Though it might've just been me, I suddenly felt very small. I recognized that look. I'd gotten it every day of my life...at least, when I'd been with—

I cut myself off in mid-thought. No, I told myself. This is my vacation. I'm meant to get away from trouble.

The jock looked amused at my silence and misinterpreted it as interest. He grabbed my arm with more force than necessary, and I winced and tried halfheartedly to pull away. By this time, Ella had gotten to her feet and moved to my side. Now she hit the guy's arm, forcing him to drop it. He shrank slightly under the glare I knew she was giving him. But I couldn't bring myself to look away from his face.

"But she likes it," he protested, bouncing back at once. He grabbed my arm again, and I froze solid. I was half pulled toward him, forcing to smell man and sweat. My breathing started to pick up. My heartbeat pounded in my ears. Memories started flashing in front of my eyes, and I tried helplessly to hold them off, but they wouldn't be silenced by an experience so close to them.

Dylan, sending me to sleep with a kick in the head.

Dylan, caressing my face lightly with a sharp knife.

Dylan, holding me against him as I struggled to get away from the alcoholic smell that burned in my nose.

A high keening sound reached my ears, and I realized it was me and shut my mouth hard. Too hard. I tasted blood in my mouth.

_No way, _my brain told me. It was then that I knew I'd gone completely insane.

"Get off of me, you creep!" I shouted, finally regaining my voice. The flashes and snippets of memories retreated meekly into the back of my mind, but I knew they'd be back by the time I put my head down on my pillow. I pulled away from the jock quite suddenly, and using the space between us, I brought my knee up and felt it connect with his sensitive place almost immediately. His knees buckled, and he went down with a grunt. His arm accidentally hit my ankle, and I kicked it away furiously. I didn't know how long it had taken me to react, but I'd done it. I'd done it. My attacker was on the ground in a moaning heap and Ella...

"Are you okay?" my friend asked anxiously as she pulled me away from the loser rolling around in the sand. We grabbed our towels and hurriedly made our way down the beach. We stopped when we were far enough away, and I was surprised to see that Nudge had now joined us, a murderous expression on her face.

"What did that asshole do to you?" she asked, enraged.

***FANG P.O.V.***

"Fang, my man, get a move on! If we don't hurry we'll miss all the beach bunnies!" Iggy shouted up the stairs. I rolled my eyes. Any girl who knew him would consider him a sexist pig, but I knew he just really liked members of the opposite sex. Although I _did _sometimes question his morals, I never questioned the fact that if he found the right person, he would never utter the phrase "beach bunnies" again.

But even I'm wrong sometimes.

"We could throw him in the ocean," Sam suggested from the bathroom. He was the only one without his swim trunks on, mainly because he couldn't decide between the blue ones or the black ones. Sissy.

"Do the blue ones," I commented. I was already wearing black trunks, and matching swimsuits are for the chicks. "And I still say we should make one of those fire blower people char him to smithereens."

"Dramaaaa!" he sang. I shook my head in disgust and walked downstairs, slipping a simple black t-shirt over my head on the way. While I walked and Iggy shouted about beach bunnies, I couldn't help be reminded of something—or rather, some_one_—that still held my attention, though long gone. It was stupid, I knew, to have my head in the clouds about someone I didn't even know and had only seen once. But the girls at the airport...okay, well, that one in particular. It hadn't just been her looks, although she wasn't bad looking. Quite the opposite, in fact. But the way her eyes looked, so intelligent and determined and maybe even a little intimidated...not by me, I might add. It was something greater than me.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about The Girl that I almost ran straight into Iggy at the base of the stairs. He smirked and pushed me into the wall, and, being the wonderful gentleman I am, I pushed him back.

"Ow!" he mocked. "Watch your macho strength!"

I grimaced and continued walking, grabbing a towel from Iggy's arms on my way. Girl all but forgotten, I made my way to the door, where I leaned against the wall and waited for my "best friends" to join me. I sometimes wondered about that categorization.

"I'm ready!" Sam yelled loudly as he catapulted himself down the stairs. He was wearing his blue trunks, thank God. Iggy—sporting a green swimsuit—followed soon after, and together we strolled leisurely down to the beach. When my toes touched the sand—we were all barefoot—I knew we had arrived. The water was beautiful and the sand looked untouched. I walked down to the water's edge and put my big toe in, just as a small wave crashed up onto the shore. My friends laughed as I stumbled. I turned and glared, but as my head made its way back to the ocean, a horrifying scene caught my eye.

Ice cream. For _four bucks a cone_. God, how can people live with themselves?

I shook my head in disgust, ignoring Sam's questioning face. I didn't feel like explaining. In fact, I didn't feel like doing much of anything except for thinking. About...stuff. Well, more like people. Er, person. Okay, okay. I was still thinking about that girl at the airport. Was fate really this cruel? That they would send the girl of my dreams off with her friends in a red BMW convertible without even a phone number? Not that she seemed like the type to do so, but still...I didn't even know her name. Or why she was here. Come to think of it, she didn't know mine or either of my friends', either. Friends. She'd had some with her. A cute African American chick and another one who was probably Brazilian or something somewhere up in her family tree, and fashion model pretty. Strange how they were only afterthoughts to the One. She had been kind of cute, though. Hot. In a girl-next-door type of way.

"Earth to daydreaming child," Sam muttered, forcing my attention to the present. I realized I was still standing by the water, and my legs were wet up to my knees. I glared at him. I'd been _so close _to reconstructing that perfect face...

"Hey!" Iggy said suddenly, sounding shocked. He was looking down the beach at a group of teenagers. "Is that...are those the girls from the airport?"

Sam and I swung our heads around. I zeroed in on the girls, but they were moving around too fast for me to recognize any of them.

"God, I think I see the brown-haired one!" Sam added excitedly. I felt a strange jolt as I searched frantically for her, hardly hearing the random guffaws of my friends. I paused for a moment and looked at them. Their faces told me all I needed to know.

I'd been tricked.

"Dude, you are _so _obsessed," Iggy chortled. And, yes, I did say "chortled".

I snorted and rolled my eyes. Idiotic little asses.

In fact, I was so wrapped up in my demeaning thoughts that I almost missed a crucial detail in my periphery. My eyes had caught a girl with pretty, mocha skin and a Spanish or Portuguese girl standing next to her. But that's not what I saw. What I saw was a glimpse of light brown hair with telltale blonde streaks, and then it was gone. I felt a huge surge of renewed hope that I didn't know I'd lost, and at that moment, my legs started moving. Walking. Of their own accord. I would see that girl again.

I would make sure of that.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know, I know, I left a bit of a cliffy. Haha, this will just make you that much more eager for my next installment, which will (hopefully) be up by tomorrow. If not, the day after. I have this story pretty much done...at least halfway. I'm just checking to make sure all of the plot fits together, which may take some time. Anyway, hope you like. Until next time, my darling peace-lovers... =D**

**-YAY**


	3. Chapter III: We Meet Again

**CHAPTER III**

***MAX POV***

"Max, it's okay," Nudge chanted for the billionth time. She smiled at me, encouraging and nervous at the same time. I didn't get it. I hadn't gone into any sort of shock—at least once I'd snapped out of my creep-induced phase. Ugh. I shivered. Just the thought of that idiot made my skin crawl...and my mind race.

No, I wouldn't think about that.

"Seriously, Max," Ella joined in, rubbing my arm as she sat down next to me on the towel. I realized I had my arms tightly wrapped around my legs so I was in a bundled up heap as I stared out across the ocean. I forced my muscles to unclamp and I flexed my fingers as I loosened my joints. There. Now I was casual. That felt nice. And so did this breeze. It wasn't too cool, but it wasn't hot, either. Just perfect.

I shifted my gaze to take in the beautiful blue surf, the aqua sky, and the brightness of the sun, though it wasn't even noon yet. Small clumps of palm trees were scattered down the coast. The whole thing looked like a painting. No, a picture-perfect photograph. It was far too beautiful for any human hand to have taken part in it. I felt a rush of calm fill me as I looked.

"He's not going to—" Nudge began, but I quickly cut her off.

"I'm fine," I assured them both. And I was. I mean, who wouldn't be? I was sitting here in freaking _Hawaii_ with my two best friends in the whole world, with not another masochistic creep in sight. In fact, I was feeling better than I had in a long time.

Ella peered at my from around her hair, looking uncertain. When she took in my calm, cool, and collected self, she relaxed, too, and let out a deep lungful of air. A small laugh made its way from her throat.

"Well, that's good," she said, smiling. I grinned back at her.

"So, before we were so rudely interrupted, what were our plans for today?" I inquired, looking at the girls. Nudge sat down in the sand across from us and crossed her legs Indian style. She began drawing in the light sand with her pinkie.

"Well, genius here was planning on unpacking and getting settled all day," she scoffed. I raised an eyebrow. Shocking...not. Ella wasn't known for her spontaneity. What she _was _known for was her OCD organization. Nudge and me? Not so much.

"I have a reason for that!" Ella quickly defended herself. "I wanted to get all of that stuff out of the way on the first day so we'd have the rest of the vacay to relax! Instead, you guys just haaaad to go to the beach, so we haaaaad to rifle through all of our crap and find our swimsuits. If we'd just _unpacked_, we would be almost done and we could actually go out for dinner or something later. Now, thanks to you guys, our evening has gone down the drain!"

My eyes had widened marginally as this rant progressed, and now I'm sure they were the size of dinner plates. Ella hardly ever complained, let alone went on an honest-to-goodness rampage. And trust me...this was definitely a rampage for her.

"God, I'm sorry." Nudge. "I didn't realize you had a stick up your butt. This is exactly what you said. A _vacation. _So why can't you act like you're on one? You're always so organized, so stuck to a schedule. Do something on a whim for once in your life!"

"I might just—"

"Um...hey," a deep voice said, and everyone in our triangle froze immediately. I swear to God my heart ceased beating before it picked up at double, triple, maybe quadruple its previous pace. I half expected it to pound out of my chest. But this was ridiculous. That couldn't be the same voice. There had to be a million lower voices in the entire world. But I couldn't help it. For the past couple of hours, it'd been stuck in my head. The exact timber. The pitch. The volume. Kind of scary, yes, but extremely addicting.

I was the first to unfreeze, albeit slightly and oh so carefully, and I took in my friends' faces. Not scared. Not elated. Shocked, confused...maybe a bit gleeful. That last one spurred me on, giving me the courage to turn my torso to stare at the newcomer and oh, my God...

It was him.

***FANG POV***

It was _her! _I was so ecstatic I could hardly see straight. Come to think of it, I might've been leaning a little bit to one side, because the world sort of twisted at a funny angle. But it might've just been my extreme, overwhelming happiness. Which was bizarre. It'd been...a long time since I'd been this happy to see someone. Maybe I was going insane. Normal people probably don't believe in love at first sight. And the normal people who do don't pray to a God they don't believe in that maybe the One will suddenly show up for a second time, especially on an island riddled with tourists and crap.

But I digress.

As I made my stumbling way down the beach, I attempted to orient myself. A quick glance behind me confirmed that I'd strayed quite a distance away from my friends and they were playfully sniping at each other, throwing looks my way that probably meant they were talking about me. Or the One. Or us. Or, most likely, my seemingly unnatural, unprovoked, and irrational infatuation that I'd grown for her in the past few...what was it, hours? It seemed more like days. Or years. Or decades. Or—

_Focus, Fang, _I told myself, mentally face palming. I didn't even know if this girl I was after was even the One. Let me rephrase. I was absolutely, one-hundred percent positive that the girl at the airport had been the One, but I wasn't the same that the flash of hair I'd seen was her. After all, there have to be a million people in the world with the same gorgeous, blonde-streaked hair.

I veered my mind away from such delicate matters—I didn't want to know what would happen to my normally emotion-less facade if this ended up being a false alarm—and instead tried to focus on the beach. I hadn't noticed how busy the beach was beginning to get. Some bikini-clad girls purposefully strutted in front of my, lingering for longer than necessary before disappointedly running into the water for their next target. I hardly noticed. Skimpy clothes didn't really do much for me. Never have. They just look so...trashy. Cheap-looking. Iggy, on the other hand...

I couldn't help the small smirk that rose on my face. Ah, Iggy. Probably hoping for some "beach bunny" action as I spoke, er, thought.

"Yo, dude!" The fake gangsta voice was recognizable from anywhere, and the smirk on my face was immediately replaced by a grimace as I realized how close it was. Well, speak of the devil. I subconsciously ducked toward the water as the Blonde Boob came to a sliding stop next to me, followed by an annoyed Sam who crashed into the first. I wasn't sure if it was an accident or an act of vengeance. Knowing these two, it was probably a little of both.

"Sup?" I greeted, attempting to be polite. At least my voice worked better than Iggy's.

"You just need a backwards hat," Sam commented sarcastically. He was looking at Iggy, but I was sure the remark had been meant for the both of us.

"Whatev," I replied, my eyes beginning to scan the sand around me. A couple of families had gotten here early, too, and were setting up umbrellas, chairs, blankets, and towels along the strip of sand on which we stood. The One was nowhere in sight. "Huh."

"Still looking for your angel of love?" Iggy taunted, wiggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.

"Immaturity isn't very becoming on you, Igs," I remarked snidely. His face feigned hurt for a moment, and he made a choking noise as he pretended to stab himself, falling to the sand in fake agony.

"The insult!" he exclaimed as he writhed around. I stepped over him neatly and was about to begin walking again when a hand grasped my ankle and I went down like a sack of rocks. I felt my breath leave me in a huge gust, and I had to struggle around to right myself, choking on inhaled sand.

"What the hell, you ass?" I sputtered as I rose, spitting gritty sand out of my mouth. He just laughed. I pushed him, hard, and he was down.

"Fuck!" he shouted, and I kicked his shoulder lightly, reminding him that we weren't the only ones here. My eyes flew to the family of four that was only several yards away from where we stood. They were pretending to ignore us, though I could see they'd heard the outburst.

"Yeah," he muttered angrily as he stood and brushed the sand off his shoulders. "'Cause what you said was so much better."

He continued to ramble on in an undertone, but I tuned him out the moment he started. Not because he was an annoying pain the ass, which he was, but because I'd seen it again. That flash of brown hair. With the perfect blonde streaks that looked so hot...but natural. Not just highlighted for a bajillion dollars at some hair place, which would be a huge turn-off right there. I've never understood the whole hair dye craze. But I didn't need to worry about that with this girl. And it was the girl. The One. I could still see her, standing in front of me. She was on a blanket, talking to her friends. I was sure of it. I mean, her back was turned to me, but the hair. The entourage. The skin tone. The voice that I could just barely hear what with the waves, the shrieking seagulls somewhere over the rainbow, and the distance between us.

I took a deep breath. If I didn't find out now, that would be it. Done. No more girl, no more of the One. I might never see someone like her again, where the attraction I felt was so strong that I only had to hear her and see her once to be irrevocably, emotionally obsessed.

On the other hand, it would be embarrassing to walk up to the girl of my dreams—the freaking _One_—and be all, "Hey...I kind of saw you at the airport and gave you instructions to your schmancy red BMW freaking convertible. You might not remember me because so many guys chase after you," after all, I saw each guy turn to get a good look as he walked by, "but I kind of think you're my future girlfriend. So...yeah."

I had to think of something better, and fast. And I had to lay off of this sappy emotional crap. My nickname was Fang for a reason. I don't look like the hopeless romantic type, I don't act like the hopeless romantic type, I don't think like the hopeless romantic type. I'm _not _the hopeless romantic type. In fact, I was the most unemotional guy I'd ever known until today. So what was it about this chick that made me so crazy?

Unfortunately, that question was not answered immediately, because my feet had already started moving again and I was practically on top of the gaggle of girls that sat in a sort of triangle around a towel. I had to talk now. I had to say _something, _or they'd think I was a creep just standing there staring down their swimsuits. Disturbed by the thought of their thinking I was some kind of stalker, I quickly moved my eyes away from them. My mind was reeling.

_Say something, say something! _my mind shrieked. I semi-relaxed my posture so I looked sort of smooth but not like I was coming on and spit out the first thing that came to my mind.

"Um..." Yeah, I was a genius. _Keep going! _"Hey."

Better, but not good by any means. In fact, I was surprised the girls had heard me at all what with the lowness of my voice. It wasn't always like that...well, low, yes, in volume and in pitch. But I was actually _nervous. _With a _girl._

What a twist.

I waited for the girl—my girl—to turn around quit examining her friends' faces. Huh. That was an odd reaction.

Then, as she turned, I saw her eyes for the second time that day, and I felt a rush of unexplained happiness. Bizarre, but nice.

I hardly noticed because I was totally enraptured by her eyes, but the—uh—_flattering _swimsuit she was wearing seriously complimented her figure. She wasn't skin-and-bones skinny or the I-work-at-the-gym-everyday-so-don't-mess-with-me skinny, but her arms and legs were well toned and she was pretty slim. I saw her eyes give me a once-over, too, and her face flushed almost immediately in embarrassment.

_So, Fang the Genius, _my subconscious said sarcastically. _What now?_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks so much for the reviews, guys! I promised I would reply to you delightful fans in this chappie, and I'll get to that in a second. First, I would just like to inform you all that I have COMPLETELY reworked my storyline and plot because, upon close examination, my cousin and I determined that it wasn't good enough. Therefore, none of my remaining bajillion chapters are of any use and I'm going to start from complete scratch after this chapter. What does this mean? More suspense time between chapters. Congrats! Haha. Anywho, updates will take a little longer, but I PROMISE I'll get at least one up per week, because I'm nice like that. If I can't due to vacation (which is unlikely) or extreme mental breakdowns (which is, unfortunately, highly likely), I'll let you know in an upcoming AN. Until then, here's a cliffie and some replies to your wonderful reviews!**

_**bandnerd21: **__Heheh. Glad the threat worked...and I'm sooo glad you're trying to make me feel better about threatening you in the first place, haha. I appreciate your feedback, and I'm happy you like it so far. Next chappie will be dedicated to you, whatever it entails._

_**AC: **__Thanks, glad you like it. Here's your update. =)_

_**Hanlee770: **__Wow, thanks! That's an extremely inspirational comment, and it's working! I hope I didn't disappoint you in this chapter, and I hope I can continue to make you proud in chapters to come._

_**gigi l: **__Thanks for the review. I updated! =)_

_**Laughable-Chick: **__Um...I'll try not to do that. It was never really my intention, haha. This story will hopefully be major Fax, Eggy, and...uh...Nudge/Sam. Sorry, haha, we were a bit desperate for a match. He won't end up being an Eraser or anything. It's AH anyway. Thanks for the review!_

_**Jay Cahill: **__Wow, such enthusiasm! Haha, so glad you enjoyed it. Hope you like this one...updates soon._

**Thanks again for your reviews, guys, and keep them coming! They make me feel good about myself... Anyway, see y'all later, peace-lovers! =D**

**-YAY**


	4. Chapter IV: Getting To Know Each Other

I couldn't believe it. HIM. The guy from the airport. If I hadn't been trying to keep my emotions in check, I probably would've swooned. Or not, because...well, that stuff only happens in the movies. And very cheesy romance novels.

Not that I've ever read one or anything.

I instinctually—though this instinct had sprouted only recently, meaning about a year ago—took in his stance and determined it to be unthreatening. My heart rate slowed some, and I felt myself grow more relaxed. I actually had to squelch the urge to leap forward and hug him, which was outrageous. I didn't even _know _him.

It was around this time that I realized I had been staring at him, wrapped up with my idiotic thoughts in Lala Land. I felt a blush rise into my cheeks immediately and I quickly looked at the ground. I tried to think of something to say, but came up with nothing. I was already standing, staring at the hottest guy in the world. And I wasn't. Saying. Anything. What the freak was wrong with me?

_Well, I know the answer to that one, _I thought grimly. _And it's something this guy is probably never going to know...or want to know._

Honestly, I hadn't really date much if at all after Dylan happened. Not because he threatened me (which he did) and I was scared he would come after me or my family (which I wasn't). Not because I was too emotionally scarred or depressed or emo. None of that crap. I just didn't have the desire to. Obviously, not everyone in the world was like my ass of an ex-boyfriend, whether I wanted to believe it or not. But there was always that slim chance, that possibility...and it wasn't like a boyfriend was a necessity for college. I hardly had enough time for _myself._

"Not to be cheesy," Airport Guy said sheepishly, interrupting my reverie, "but...haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

I couldn't help it: I laughed. Surprisingly, it came pretty easily, especially considering my previously darker thoughts. But wait...what if this was just a line? He'd acknowledged that with his little introduction, but still. Paranoia reared its ugly head in my mind. What if he didn't really care where the hell he'd seen me? Was this even the guy? And if it was, where were his two—

"Hey, you found her!" an incredulous voice exclaimed. My head automatically whirled to the place the sound came from, so fast I thought for a second I might develop whiplash. Because I remembered those words, the connotation...what was to follow.

_Stop! _I chided myself. He's not Dylan or any of Dylan's dumbshit friends! That wasn't even possible...

This assumption proved to be true, as the blonde who had been with my guy—and he was _my guy_—at the airport now appeared in front of us, followed quickly by the third one; the brunette. I heard my friends get up quickly. Tall, Dark, and Handsome coughed nervously. He was...embarrassed? By my friends? By his? The words played back in my head and I realized what Blondie had just said. My eyes narrowed.

"Found me?" I asked suspiciously, ignoring the looks of my friends and the slightly pained expression that flitted across...his...face. Okay, running low on nicknames for my guy. This had to stop. I turned my head to look at him and finally replied to his question: "Maybe. I see a lot of people. Who are you?"

Well, crap. That hadn't come out the way I'd anticipated. He probably thought I was some kind of selfish bitch now. Great...

Luckily, he didn't seem to mind.

"I'm Nick," he introduced. I smiled internally. Nick. Nick was cool. I could like a Nick. "But my friends call me Fang."

_Line! _my brain screamed. I mean, honestly, who the hell said that? The only thing I could think of were pickup artists, which just made my skin crawl. Ugh.

"And these," this so-called "Fang" continued as my anxiety and suspicion rose, "are my two untasteful pigs of friends."

"Love ya too, bestie," the blonde one said sarcastically. He stepped forward a little, and I couldn't help stepping back out of intimidation. He had a good four inches on me, and I was on the taller side for my age. "I'm Jeff."

"Iggy," Brunette said, stepping forward as well. I uncertainly looked his way.

"Bless you," Nudge said, and she and Ella giggled. I then realized with a jolt that my two friends were standing at my sides and not behind me. I really needed to be more observant. Enough of this "in my head" crap.

"No, no," the corrected quickly. "That's what we call him. Jeff. Iggy. Weird. Like him. Um...I'm Sam."

Well, then. Guess this was a meet and greet. And it was our turn. My friends replied instantly.

"Ella."

"Tiffany...but I guess you guys can called me Nudge."

I hesitated before noticing my friends' expressions. I had to give in now. Sighing in defeat, I said, "Max."

There was silence.

"That's a cool name," Fang finally replied, obviously trying to keep the conversation cool now that we'd finished with the name-giving. I could tell he was semi-grappling with the idea of asking for my full name, which most people autmatically assumed was—ugh—Maxine.

"Just Max," I clarified, deciding to be nice. Better not make this guy sit around guessing all day. And I didn't want to get off to a bad start. Well, and worse than it already kind of was, what with the awkwardness.

Nudge interrupted the slight pause, which I was actually grateful for.

"So are you guys from around here?" she asked, and the blonde—er, Iggy—spoke up.

"You saw us at the airport," he replied, not quite sarcastic, but not outright explanatory. "No frickin'—"

"What he means to say," Sam suddenly interceded, "is that we're from the mainland like you guys...at least, I'm assuming you are. Not Arizona, though. We made a connecting flight." He smiled sheepishly at the space to my right, where Nudge was standing. "We needed a break from college. Well, they did. I'm just here to be the filter-slash-guardian Iggy never had."

Nudge laughed her bell-like, trilling laugh that meant she was actually amused. I saw something going on here...

"Cute," Iggy snorted. "Now that we're done with our little powwow, can we all do something _fun?_"

"We could—" I started at the same time Fang began, "Do you want—"

I blushed for the SECOND time and motioned for him to continue. Iggy whispered something to Sam, who glanced at me, grinned, and whispered something back. Fang whirled.

"Knock it off, douches!" he snapped. Ooh, badass. The thought made my giggle. Who would've thought that I, Max Martinez, would ever fall for a bad boy? I then winced at a sudden memory of Dylan, and I randomly—and somewhat logically—wondered how strange my random mood swings seemed to the guys standing in front of us. But they didn't seem to notice.

"As I was saying," Fang continued, turning back to us. "Would you girls be interested in joining us for lunch?"

Nudge and Ella glanced at each other and chorused, "Sure!"

I wasn't so convinced. But I _was _hungry and they _had _offered, and it wasn't like a date or anything equally as mindless. Ha. Me, talking about mindless. Me! The one who'd just been thinking about a guy she'd only seen once before now in an airport and how hot he was and how she would totally date him and how she...eh. My talking in third person. Never a good sign. But really. I'd never heard of a "triple date" before, and I wasn't one to break new ground. Then again...we could just be six acquaintances going out for lunch. So I came up with another one of my brilliant replies.

"Um..."

"She'd love to!" Nudge interjected. I thought about turning to glare at her for making my decisions, but I found that my eyes had wandered back up to Fang's face. Further, I couldn't bring myself to take my eyes _off _said face. I might've been imagining it, because I was severely intoxicated by his very presence, but he seemed to be having the same problem. And, as everyone started chatting and getting into a little huddle as we trudged back towards the wee restaurants surrounding the resort, he gave me a sort of crooked smile that, for some unexplained reason, gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling in my stomach.

Huh.

"This is totally crazy," Nudge commented as we finished up our food. _What? _I thought. _The fact that we're all eating together with our perfect other halves or the fact that you haven't shut up for this entire meal? _She and Nudge were almost done with their club sandwich, and I was just licking from my fingers the ketchup that used to be a hamburger and fries. The guys had ordered mahi-mahi (Iggy), barbecue ribs (Sam), and a Big Island Burger with all the toppings (Fang). And they'd eaten every last bite, proving that this was seriously the best restaurant in all of freaking Honolulu.

"It is," Sam agreed. I couldn't help but feel slightly awed at the fact that he was the only person here who didn't seem to display a single ounce of frustration toward Nudge for her...um...chattiness. "I can't believe we're all at the same resort...kinda freaky if you really think about it."

"I'm trying not to," Iggy replied brightly, shoving the last of his fish into his mouth with his fingers. Ella stifled a giggle with her sandwich, but I could tell he noticed because he looked at her. It was my turn to giggle. They were _so _meant to be best friends. Or maybe they were siblings, separated at birth. Well, maybe not. They were different in almost every way, from physical to psychological, but they really seemed to be hitting it off. We'd been talking about Hawaii and our interests and everything in between for about—I checked my phone under the table—two hours now, and nobody had spontaneously combusted or run away screaming.

Good signs, good signs.

"So where exactly are you guys from?" I asked casually as I pushed my plate away from me. We were sitting at a medium-sized, rectangular table: girls on one side, guys on the other. It made it more...friendly. The only thing was, it was kind of small. And cramped. And as I manhandled the plate, it hit Fang's with a loud clang. I realized we'd finished at the exact same time.

"Sorry," he apologized quickly. He didn't move his plate, though, as he sat back slightly in his chair. "We're all from New York."

"New Yawk, New Yawk," Iggy clarified. We all nodded, but I was kind of confused. Where were their accents, their rude personalities? And I hadn't exactly seen them drive yet, but if they were from NYC...

"We moved there from different places quite a while ago," Fang explained in his low voice, noticing the unspoken questions that must have appeared on my face. "I was about fourteen, and I was the first of us to move. It was kind of..." He broke off before restarting. "Anyway, these two idiots moved up a year or so later. Same building."

"And before you ask," Iggy cut in, "no, we're not criminals, and no, we're not horrible drivers. Well, I'm not, anyway."

The others ignored the jab blatantly, obviously used to such remarks from their friend.

I leaned back in my chair, content and full. This was such a nice place. We were situated on a veranda of sorts...a good-sized wooden platform that stood about a foot up from the sand. A wood railing lined the edge, and it had cute lights dangling from it that would probably look a lot prettier if it were darker. Of course, a thatched straw overhang provided some shade, though the angle of the sun made it impossible to block entirely. Little tropical plants hung from the decorative rafters. Overall, though, it was the view that made the outdoor restaurant picturesque. The deck opened onto sand, and the sand merged into the sapphire blue ocean. I sighed in contentment. This was the life.

"And where are you from?" The voice finally got through to me, and I realized I'd missed part of a conversation.

"Arizona," Ella replied, finally finished and wiping her hands on her napkin. I looked down at my shorts and realized I'd just been wiping ketchup and grease on _them _instead of being a lady and using a napkin. Oops.

"The Phoenix area," Nudge added helpfully. "But we basically live in the middle of nowhere, kind of. It's...pretty boring. But there's a pool opening up in the neighborhood soon, so that'll be nice. We'll have somewhere to go when they cut the AC in the summer."

"Cut the AC?" Sam asked, sounding incredulous. "Doesn't it get to like one-fifty there?"

I laughed, finally rejoining the conversation. "Not quite. But the heat does suck, and they have to turn off the air based on a grid to make sure the power doesn't get shot or something. Otherwise we'd all be without it 24/7. So...it works out in the end, I guess."

Now that I was finished talking and we were all done eating, we'd reached an awkward transition phase. Fang broke it.

"How about we just walk down the beach or something?" he suggested, and Nudge squealed before quickly correcting herself at the bemused looks she got from everyone around the table.

"Sounds romantic," she said cheesily, and we all shared a good laugh, earning us several glances from people at surrounding tables. Hmm. I hadn't even noticed they'd been there until I was actually focusing on it. That was weird.

Claustrophobia began to set in, however irrational. I'd come to hate being surrounded by people. Especially of the male persuasion. And ones with brown-blonde hair. And blue eyes. And perfect muscles. And steely looks. And weapons of mass destruction that could be anything from spoons to belts to...

But mostly anyone. Really.

I stood up quickly, almost tripping on my chair, spitting out the first excuse I could come up with: "I have to change. Be right back."

I then practically sprinted out of that place, launching myself over the railing with one arm like I could do gymnastics worth shit. Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. But right now, I didn't care about impressing people. I didn't even think about anyone who was still at the table, probably wondering why a lunatic like me was hanging out with such normal people as Ella and Nudge.

_Or maybe they believed you, _a little voice in the back of my head whispered. _Maybe you're not as bad a liar as you think._

I winced and stumbled momentarily as a memory pushed through my calm(ish) facade.

_"Oh, Max," Dylan crooned, stroking my cheek gently as I lay paralyzed in horror on the floor. "You know you can't lie to me. I'll always know."_

_"I've lied before," I managed to spit. The effect was ruined by the sob that wrenched its way out of my throat and the tears that were streaming down my face like there was no tomorrow. And who knew? Maybe there wouldn't be. Maybe._

_"You're a horrible little bitch," he spat right back, his change in demeanor expected but still frightening. His hand disappeared and came back at my face with a vengeance, and I whimpered as my head was cracked to one side._

_"I'm s-sorry..."_

I felt one small tear find its way out of the corner of my eye, and I wiped it away furiously with the palm of my hand. Idiot! Why did I have to go and ruin what had been practically the perfect day?

Maybe Dylan had been right.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, okay, I **_**know **_**it's a horrible ending, but we needed something to sort of transition Max into the next chapter, which is going to be a complete flashback to when she was still with Dylan. This is in reply to the comment we received about wanted to delve deeper into the whole Mylan (Dax? Heheh, Dyx. =D) relationship that backdrops the story. So, commenter, your prayer has been heard and answered! While you wait several years for the next chapter to appear (just kidding...), read these comment replies! One of them might be to you!**

_**Jay Cahill: **__Wow, thanks! Love the enthusiasm! This chapter was for bandnerd21, but the next one will be dedicated to you...though I'm not sure how happy you'll be about that, what with YANG writing it and everything...hope I didn't disappoint._

_**Fang's MINE: **__Glad to have you with us! Hopefully you'll keep reading. This is an update! =D_

_**Stella Uzumaki: **__The next chapter will be for you...sorry, Jay. I noticed the lack of background, too, and hopefully the next will fill in the void. Hope this chapter keeps you happy until then, and thanks for the wonderful review!_

_**JealousMindsThinkAlike: **__Thanks so much for your review! It means a lot...keep reading, my dedicated little fan! =D_

**Thanks again, guys! Hope you liked, and I'll—actually, Yang will—update ASAP!**

**-YAY**


	5. Chapter V: The Past is the Past

**WARNING: _This chapter was written by me (Yang). All previous chapters have been written by Yin or a mix of our two geniuses. This chapter will be dark, depressing, and may have some suggestive/crude/demeaning language and remarks. If you don't like, don't read. I've purposefully written this so that you can completely skip the chapter and not be confused by the storyline. It's basically a summary of the whole Dax relationship. If you still want to read, that's your choice. No flaming, please. And now, without further ado, chapter five._**

**CHAPTER V**

We'd been dating for three years...kind of it. It all started in high school, in the middle of senior year. We'd been acquaintances at best before this, but now...it had grown to something more. We were good friends. Dylan was dating some slutty cheerleader who couldn't seem to keep her own boobs in her shirt and couldn't keep her hands out of his pants. It was disgusting, and everyone noticed. But she was popular, and he was popular, and nobody really cared.

Until.

Until that one fateful day when the homecoming football game came along. We all had a pep rally in the gym; very noisy, very peppy. Nudge, Ella, and I even painted our faces with acrylic paint in art class, even though we knew it would hurt like hell later when it started peeling off. But we were teenagers, we didn't care, and the pep rally was a must-attend...plus the class with the most enthusiasm (AKA face paint) would get the spirit stick and a pizza party. So we joined in, played the game. It was hardly what we could call torture.

As we filed into the giant room and took our places on the blue and gray bleachers that were supposed to represent our navy and silver school colors, the football team and cheerleading squad were called down to take center stage. The jocks ran around in circles, making fists and whooping, trying to get the crowd into the spirit of things. The cheerleaders started doing little dances, flipping each other around, doing their school cheer thing that nobody could hear because two thousand people were talking excitedly to their friends.

"Just think!" Nudge yelled at Ella and me over the crowd. "This is our last ever pep rally! And it's for..."

"Homecoming!" we all chorused, and starting laughing.

The principal then stepped into the center of the gym and started talking about how we should all attend the homecoming game and the dance and we were all amazing students and he was _so glad _we were all going to be on our best behavior...I had to giggle at that one. Like there weren't ditchers getting stoned right outside the gym now. I mean, come on. This was high school. You'd think the principal, if anyone, would know the "best behavior" of idiotic teenagers.

The captain of the football team—Dylan Batchelder—stepped forward and started making a speech through a mic he was holding, and his dumbass, bitchy girlfriend licked her lips as she watched him. Everyone knew she was imagining a million ways to get him out of his clothes. She probably wasn't even listening to a word he was saying.

"So," Dylan concluded, and the gym quieted down. This was where the tradition happened every year. The captain of the football team would ask his girlfriend to the homecoming dance...and possibly prom, if I remembered last year correctly. I rolled my eyes as Cheerleader already started skipping over to him. "I'd just like to ask one very special girl something...very special." The skipping stopped and his girlfriend wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and stood up on her tiptoes to put her head on his shoulder. "Um...Max? Max Martinez? Will you go steady with me?"

The gym suddenly went silent, and I would've laughed at the rarity of the situation had I not been so confused. Was I hearing things? A quick look at my friends, who were gaping at me, told me otherwise, and I felt the blush heat my cheeks long before people all shifted to look at me. I wasn't well-known in school, mainly because I wasn't the subject of much gossip or scandal, but at that moment, all eyes were on me and I felt like I'd just been caught doing something awful.

I then forced myself to look at Dylan, his girlfriend's arms still wrapped around his waist, but her eyes hard and her smile frozen. He was staring at me.

I didn't know what to do, didn't know how to react, but I _did _know that I'd liked the time I spent with Dylan every day. I'd recently found that I was intoxicated by his laugh, hypnotized by his eyes, focused on every single word he said, even if he didn't say them to me. As I stood there, remembering, wasting time, I finally made my decision.

I nodded.

After that, our relationship just got better. We were inseparable; joined at the hip. We walked around school in our own little private bubble, and spent a lot of time after school together. When I wasn't with him, I was making up for lost time with my two best friends in the whole world, Ella and Nudge, who I forced to go to every single one of Dylan's football games with me. We cheered and painted our faces weekly, and it became a tradition for Dylan to run into the bleachers after each game he won and take me up in his arms and kiss me. Everything was perfect in my life.

Then came the acceptance letters.

We hadn't been an item junior year, so our calibration was slightly off. He wanted to go to a good university right off the bat, but I decided that with my grades, I could go to an easy school for my first two years and then transfer to a better one. It would be less stressful, much easier to make that transition from HS to campus. I wheedled and guilt-tripped and begged for so long that Dylan finally agreed, and we both decided to start off at a home state college. Arizona. That way we could live at home, pay less, and not have to worry about shitty life in the dorms.

As the summer drew nearer, I grew more anxious. This was it. I was leaving all my friends behind...except Ella and Nudge, who were also going to Arizona State. Party school, yes. But we had amazing transcripts, and we were positive we would be able to get into better colleges when the time arose and when Dylan and I had made sure our relationship would stick.

Which it _would. _Like freaking _concrete._

At least, that's what I was trying to convince myself.

Graduation went off without a hitch, and I cried out my goodbyes to my friends and teachers and I got a job at a small town pet store called Pet Stuff, which I would eventually quit because after three months, I was still scooping out the dead fish from the goldfish tanks. But I was well-off money wise, anyway, so I didn't really care. Plus I had Dylan, who I still saw every day. College started, and we had only a couple of classes together, but we made the most of our time. I grew closer to Nudge and Ella, who came over every day to study with Dylan and me, much to their credit. I wouldn't have been able to stand the googly eyes.

Midterms rolled around, and with it, a whole new Dylan. He was not longer at the top of the class; university had hit him hard. He loaded up on hard classes and was on academic probation by the end of the year, no matter how much anyone tried to help him. I supported him as much as I could, but there wasn't much I could do when he started hanging out with different people except disapprove silently and keep my mouth shut. He was hanging out with the wrong crowd, I knew, but we were nineteen now, and I thought I could trust him to make his own decisions.

I'd been wrong.

I knew this as soon as he stopped coming around every day; I saw him three times a week outside of classes at best, and twice a week _in _classes. He skipped classes, he got in trouble a lot, he was hanging out with the wrong people. He didn't show up at school at all some days, and somewhere inside me I knew it was because he was probably drinking or doing drugs with his new bastards of friends. It became obvious to me that I needed to launch some sort of intervention when he showed up at my house with his eyes bloodshot, his walking unsteady, and his voice all slurred together. My mom and sister weren't home, thank God, but Ella and Nudge were, and they noticed immediately.

"Oh, Jesus," Ella breathed as we looked up from the table that we were studying at. Dylan sidled over to me, albeit shakily, and slung an arm around my shoulders.

"Hey, babes," he slurred. It was all I could do to keep from gagging at the reeking smell of alcohol that wafted from his clothes, his skin, his breath. "Long twine no sing."

"Dylan!" I said sharply, pushing his arm off. "You're drunk! What the fuck have you been doing to yourself?"

"Jus' a sip," he complained. "Not the whole _thing, _silly. I...ate it." He nodded determinedly, seeming slightly pleased with myself. I was disgusted. "I ate it. So I only had a mite. Not that much."

He'd slipped into a horrible English accent, and the ends of his words were slightly higher than the beginnings. It was horrible to watch him like this. I needed it to stop. But how? How do you convince a drunk to stop drinking? And, the even more disturbing question...

_What if he wasn't just drunk?_

In the end, I'd steered him up to my room so he could collapse on my bed. He'd hopefully wake up sober, and probably with a pounding headache, from what I read online. So I left a couple of Advils and a glass of water on my nightstand for him before tiptoeing downstairs to face the wrath of my friends.

They gave me The Speech. He wasn't right for me, they could tell it wasn't the first time (though it _was _the first time I'd seen him like this), I had to get it over with now, we didn't belong together, it was cute in high school but he'd obviously changed, and was I okay because I looked a little shaky. They went on like that for an hour or so, but no matter what they said, I wouldn't desert Dylan during such a horrible time. He needed somebody—he needed _me. _Something was wrong, and I had to figure out what it was before something really bad happened to him, like he got arrested or even killed. He was underage, after all, and if he was doing more than drinking, the police would be the least of his problems.

So I tried my best to help him through it, giving him lectures when he wasn't passed out, totally stoned, or hopelessly drunk. My efforts were futile, though; nothing I said or did could or would change him in any way, and I knew that. But I just kept trying, thinking that maybe if I pressured him enough, he would try to get help.

It was almost summer when the touching started.

It started with a little poking here, a little groping there, but he was tipsy, and I still loved him for when he tried to stay sober. Because he did try. And he sobbed and cried for forgiveness. He couldn't help it. I knew that. He was in too deep. So I forgave him. But when the _real _touching came, the kind that was practically harassment, I drew the line. I still loved him—really, I did—but even if he wasn't responsible for his actions, even if he pleaded with me that he was sorry the next day, I couldn't forgive him. I pushed him out of the way when he tried to grab me in inappropriate places, locked myself in my room when I knew he would be coming over high. I even slapped him once.

That was a mistake.

Because after the touching didn't work with me, he started using force. He'd swat me away when I tried to help him with something, and I wrote it off as side effects of the drugs and alcohol in his system, because he was never really all that violent with anything. Even in football, he never tackled unless he had to. So I let him go.

Then, one day, when I was coming home on the last day of school, I found Dylan waiting for me. I hadn't invited my friends over, who were usually here when Dylan was feeling overconfident or extra stoned. So it was just us. And he was beyond stoned. He was beyond anything I'd ever seen before. He was just a seething mass of self-loathing. And this seething mass of self-loathing was staring at me murderously.

"Why'd you fucking tell them, you bitch?" he screamed. "_Why'd you fucking tell them?_"

He ran over to me and slammed the door with such force that I cringed. His hands clamped around my wrists and he pushed them above me, against the wall. He was leaning in close, so I could smell smoke mixed with other scents...chemical scents. I knew instantly that he'd taken a hit—or fifty—of something undesirable by any standards. But I didn't say anything. This would ride out like the other incidents, or so I thought. But my friends weren't here this time, and I knew deep down that this would be worse...much worse.

He yelled something unintelligible in my face that was supposed to be a question, I thought. Tears welled up in my eyes. Not at how horrible this situation was. Not at how utterly terrified and transfixed I was by the hatred in my boyfriend's eyes. Not at anything except for the fact that I loved this boy, and he didn't seem to love me back. Why? What had I done wrong? I shook my head quickly, trying to look confused.

"Be honest with me!" Dylan roared, pulling my hands back and smashing them against the wall again. They hurt. I could still smell the drugs.

"Wh-what?" I stammered, feeling myself shrink inside. The tears were falling freely now. He let go of me and stepped back in disgust.

"You're such a slut," he sneered, touching my face. "How many people have you slept with while I've been away, bitch?"

Would it really hurt him that much to say my name? But that wasn't the thought that raced through my head at the time. Truth be told, I'm still not sure exactly what I was thinking at that point, but I _do _know it wasn't anything intelligent or worthwhile.

"N-nobody," I answered honestly and pathetically. I could hardly see him for all the tears skewing my vision. But his voice was enough to tell me that he was absolutely livid.

"Liar!" he yelled, pushing me with both hands to the right. My head slammed against the wall, and I cried out. "Don't you dare make any noise, you pathetic whore! You don't have the right!"

I obeyed him, but a whimper escaped. What in God's name had his new friends told him about me? That I was going with them behind his back? I shivered at the thought. Dylan was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I'd let him down by allowing him to get in with the wrong crowd. This was all _my _fault.

"I'm s-s-sorry, D-Dylan," I stammered. I tried to wipe away some of the wetness on my cheeks, but more took their place. "I d-don't know wh-what they told y-you, but I'm not...I didn't..."

"You're a horrible liar," my boyfriend hissed in my face, and I shrunk back. I'd never seen him like this. Not this bad. My hand crept around to my back pocket, fingering the phone there. He noticed, growling and reaching behind me. With one swift movement, he had the phone in his hand. It was then on the other side of the room, broken in two. "What bullshit are you trying to pull on me?"

He slammed me back against the wall again, and I fell to the ground in a heap, still crying, still doing nothing to stop him. Why wasn't I fighting back? I was tough as freaking _nails. _Why couldn't I stand up to him? Because he was a _boy?_

I knew the answer. Because he wasn't just a boy. He was my boyfriend. Even worse, he was _Dylan. _I loved him, and I knew he loved me. He just wasn't thinking straight right now. The illegal substances and his gangbanger friends—who I would be happy to strangle—had poisoned his mind against me. But it was only temporary. I would get him back.

"Dylan," I managed to squeak, and he whirled on me, and expression of contempt on his face.

"I told you not to talk!" he howled, kicking me. His foot landed in my ribs, and I made no sound as all the breath in body left in a huff. I lay there, gasping like a fish out of water, trying to regain some amount of air. "What do you not understand about that?"

His foot hit me again, and fell over with his distorted balance. He hit the ground hard, and I winced. Dylan swung one leg around and hit me in my thigh, creating a new nova of pain that rocketed down my leg and up my spine.

"Dylan," I tried again, but it was barely within the realm of human hearing. I sucked in a breath. "Dylan. Y-you're hurting me."

It was only a whisper, but it was enough. Dylan stopped instantly, his face going blank. He didn't stand up; he probably didn't even know he was down. Then a look of horror came over his face as he took in my crumpled form, my ragged breathing.

"Oh, shit," he managed, and got to his feet and was running toward the downstairs bathroom in about three seconds flat. I heard him vomit and groan. My ribs felt like they were on fire, and the back of my head was throbbing from where it had hit the wall. I couldn't move.

After what seemed like eternity, Dylan stumbled back out to where I lay, and, though I could tell he was still hammered, he managed to sit down on the floor without falling first. His face crumpled in on itself and he buried his head in his hands. He was sobbing.

"Don't..." I croaked, moving my hand to his knee. It brought pain to my shoulder. I hadn't even realized it'd been hit. "Don't cry, baby. I'm s-sorry."

He looked up from his wallowing and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me into a fierce hug, which hurt like hell. I gulped and swallowed the pain, trying my best to hug him back. He was Dylan again. He wouldn't hurt me.

"Don't be sorry," he whispered, stroking my hair. "I should be sorry. I can't believe I..." He swallowed. "I'm so sorry, Max. I'm sorry. I'm never...I won't do this again. None of it."

I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding. "I know."

But I didn't know. I didn't know how he would keep himself away from the substances I knew were so addicting. I didn't know how he would manage to avoid his toker friends. I didn't know how he would be able to resist the beers that I knew he'd been subtly stealing from friends.

I didn't know. And I didn't care.

He ended up sleeping over that night, leaving me to lick my wounds...or, rather, do the best I could to fix them. Nothing was broken, I was sure. But everything was sore, and I limped when I walked. It was summer, though, so I could play sick without missing school. Ella and Nudge came over the next day with soup, and I pretended to have a horrible cold. They both looked suspicious, because I never get sick, but neither of them asked questions and neither of them could see anything that would make them think that Dylan had anything to do with it. Except my eyes, which were red and puffy and bloodshot from my crying. But on the rare occasions that I _do _get colds, my face puffs up like a balloon, and for that reason, my puffy eyes were a blessing.

He came to my house drunk or high or both several more times that summer, and I began to get scared that he'd hit me somewhere noticeable. I stopped letting Nudge and Ella come over without calling first, claiming I needed some alone time with Dylan. They understood, though they didn't really have any steady boyfriends themselves.

School started again, and Dylan began skipping with a vengeance. He reformed himself for a week or so, nearly getting off academic probation, but he relapsed into depressed, troubled Dylan soon after. The university didn't want him anymore, but they couldn't claim he was using drugs because the few "random" tests they'd managed to do turned out negative. So they bode their time until the time Dylan showed up for his remedial biology class, AKA the one for students who were failing. The only problem was that he was trashed. Gone. Lala Land.

I heard it from some people who were giggling in the cafeteria, and I hid my face with my hair until the period was over. Then I went to the nurse, pretended to be nauseous, and was excused from classes. Dylan was waiting for me at home.

That was the first time he hit my face.

Concealer and other makeup saved me until the middle of the semester, when my grades started slipping because of my distractions. I caved and went to the school counselor/psychologist, who I started talking to on a weekly basis. She prescribed me anti-depressants and painkillers and suggested I get a lawyer. I refused it all, telling her I didn't deserve it. At least that gave her something else to think about.

Then, when midterms were a month away, Ella stopped by for a surprise visit—and found Dylan punching my lights out. I don't remember exactly what happened, because I was unconscious from the moment she walked into the room, but I do know that she fended the love of my life off with a wooden spoon until he was passed out on the floor, at which time she called Nudge and they drove me to the hospital.

When I was well, they talked to me about what happened. And they disapproved. Greatly.

"We know what he's been doing to you lately," Ella told me. "Emotionally, I mean. And I'm guessing it got worse than that. Why didn't you just tell us?"

I didn't bother telling her that I couldn't. I did tell her that I loved him.

"We know," Nudge said, holding back tears.

"And he loves me," I replied firmly.

They didn't answer.

Eventually, I realized that the relationship was over from the moment that Dylan had knocked me out that day. As I sat in my bed—order from the doctors Ella and Nudge themselves—the resentment for Dylan grew, replacing the love I'd so blindly felt for him before. I couldn't understand or unravel my previous feelings, either, which was as frustrating as all get-out. I officially broke off the relationship when I could finally stand without wobbling. Ella and Nudge weren't there, but Dylan was. We talked face to face. And he cried. And I cried. And we almost made up, before I realized that it would all start over again.

I went into a bit of a depression after it was all over, but Ella and Nudge were there for every second of it. I tried to forget all of the bad times that had occurred, but it was like trying to get rid of a part of me. I knew that side of me would be there forever, and I'd just have to learn to get over it. I still refused anti-depressants, and I gradually came out of my decline, leveling out and then gaining back lost time with all of the effort I could possibly muster. My grades soared, my teachers started falling over each other in adoration; they'd all heard of my situation, and were so proud to be able to say that they'd helped me pull myself out of my downward spiral. But it wasn't them. It wasn't my mom or my sister, Angel, though they were encouraging through my recovery. It was my friends. Ella and Nudge. I loved them like family. I couldn't let them down.

I wouldn't let them down.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So? What did you guys think? This is the first chapter of this story I've done entirely by myself, and I'm pretty sure it's the longest so far. Yin was a little skeptical when I asked her to read it, but after I assured her there were no lemons, she read it and I got her approval. So...next chapter will be by the both of us again, and, while you wait, here are some replies to your awesome comments.**

_**JealousMindsThinkAlike: **I updated, and here's the flashback! Hope you enjoyed the background and I did Max justice. I love your comments...please keep them coming!_

**_bluegreypurple: _**_Thank you so much for your beautiful comment. I looove comments like yours because I'm an egotist, haha. Anyway, I'm glad I renewed your faith in FanFiction, and hopefully you enjoyed this chapter and will enjoy chapters to come._

**_maxride17: _**_Thanks! Glad you like this story! Hope I didn't disappoint you with this chappie._

**_Jay Cahill: _**_It's okay; I like reading them, too. It's just writing them that makes me feel squeamish. Yang and I agree that it's extremely depressing to write about dark pasts, even when it's for the good of the story. Don't worry...we won't stop the story just because of that. And there'll be some more flashbacks and some other stuff that I can't tell you about because it would ruin my author moral code (NO SPOILERS HERE), so you'll get more of the darkness. Ooh, and we love your profile, FYI! Ah-mazing! =)_

**_Hanlee770: _**_Haha, I love that word. It was on a vocabulary list in middle school, and I've always been dying to use it in a story. I'm glad it amused you. =)_

**Hopefully you guys enjoyed this clittle insight into Max's past relationship with Dylan, and there'll be updates ASAP!**

**-YAY**


	6. Chapter VI: Holding Hands

**CHAPTER VI**

Ugh. I felt like crap.

My shorts were messy, my shirt was wrinkled, and I could only guess what a rat's nest my hair was by now, after sitting through an entire lunch with the breeze working it into tangles. My eyes were probably red and puffy from holding back tears at the random memories, and they ached. And on top of my physical condition, my inner self was barely hanging in there.

Like I said. Crap.

I finally reached the cottage after much wallowing in self pity, only to find that I didn't even have a key. Well. That was just lovely. I'd just sit out here and continue with my slow internal demise.

_Shut up! _I thought to myself fiercely. This was freaking stupid. I was on vacation. I would be happy. _Happy. _Even if it killed me. I could do this. But how?

I sized up the building, feeling intimidated. Okay. Front door? Ella locked it. No go. Back door? Never opened. Locked. Windows? Screened. And I sure as hell wouldn't be cutting down the screens that would protect us from the goddamn mosquitoes that were sure to come by later. So how the freak would I...

"Max?"

I turned around quickly, shocked and relieved at the same time. Ella. Her face looked anxious, and it went straight to worried when she saw my expression. I tried to smile in greeting, but my mouth didn't seem to want to cooperate. Great. Way to give her a heart attack, Max. She was probably freaking out. It'd always been like this; I was never allowed out of her sight when I was upset. I don't know why. I've never hurt myself and I never will. Sometimes it's just nice to be alone. Then again, sometimes it's just nice to have a friend with you.

"I thought you might need the key," Ella explained, and this time I had to smile. She was so nice to me. And already I was snapping out of my stupor. My walls were back up now that the claustrophobia effects were gone and I'd had some time to breathe. _Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale._

"Thanks." I waited as she unlocked the door before I asked, "Where's Nudge?"

"She stayed," was the answer. I stopped dead in my tracks and spun around to face Ella. Horror and dread filled me.

"You left her _alone?_" I asked incredulously, already imagining the headlines: "GIRL MURDERED BY THREE GANG MEMBERS AFTER BEING LEFT BY HER FRIENDS". "Are you _insane? _We don't even know those guys! They could be..." I searched for a word furiously. "Serial killers! Or rapists!"

Ella snorted and pulled on my arm so I would follow her upstairs. "I'm sure the cereal will be fine, Max. And if you think anybody could take on Nudge without a fight, you've _seriously _gone off the deep end. You know her. Besides, she seemed like she was having a good time."

We reached my room and I quickly rifled around in my bag for another outfit. Nothing seemed all that beach-worthy. What had I been thinking when I packed? How come I didn't prepare for a walk down the beach? A swimsuit seemed too casual. I threw them onto my bed. Hmm...a sundress? I didn't even know I owned one. It seemed okay, but a bit too bright. Too date-y. And this definitely wasn't a romantic walk. It would be more like...a "get to know you" walk. Yeah. That made me feel better.

Ella disappeared from my periphery for a second as I desperately sorted through my heap of reject clothes. When she reappeared, she chucked something in my direction. I quickly turned and caught it in midair, examining it closely. It was a cute tube dress, gray with a cream-colored skirt* that went perfectly with my skin. I shot a questioning glance at Ella, but she just shrugged like it was no big deal. She then walked back to her room through the jointed bathroom, closing the door behind her, probably to go change herself. Poor Nudge wouldn't have a chance to change...which would probably kill her, the Fashion Guru of our whole Hawaiian escapade.

"_Hey, guys!" _a voice shouted from downstairs, and I grinned. Leave it to Nudge to want to be in on the action.

"Upstairs!" came Ella's muffled shout. "Your dress is on your bed!"

I quickly pulled off my clothes and replaced them with the soft material of my new dress. It fit perfectly and complemented my skin and hair. Ella was a genius. I always told her to pursue fashion with Nudge—they would make the best team since Vera Wang—but she insisted that her forte was literature.

Ella walked into my room in an airy black and white number*, and Nudge followed soon after with an adorable flowing dress in pink*. I suddenly felt a little plain, but Ella was quick to assure me that I looked hot as all get-out. What she didn't know was that those words were the opposite of what I wanted to hear. I was hoping for "innocent" or "chaste" or "cute". Not "hot".

But even I had to admit, it was flattering.

I twirled around a couple of times in front of the mirror on the wall, but stopped when I saw Nudge staring at me. Suddenly I felt self-conscious, and it wasn't because I was standing there, spinning around and playing fairytale princess.

"Are they mad?" I asked her sheepishly, and she knew immediately who I was referring to.

"No," she said matter-of-factly, glancing at the mirror and patting down her curly hair. Her fancy airport 'do was wearing off, but the small ringlets still looked pretty as they fell down her back. My hair, on the other hand, was always dead straight, and, though it managed to look shiny and full at most times, I still felt cursed that I wasn't as well-off in the hair department as I could have been. I love the rare occasions I can curl my hair without it frizzing.

"No?" I echoed stupidly. But I'd totally ditched them! She must be lying...there was no way they didn't think I was (at the very least) emotionally unstable for having a total freakout. They wouldn't understand why, even. They'd just assume I had voices in my head or I was schizophrenic or...

"They were just confused, is all," Nudge told me guardedly. I tilted my head to assess her face, and it seemed to me like she was fighting a smile. The corners of her lips were twitching. I raised an eyebrow and she broke into a full-out grin before adding, "and I think that that tan guy, Fang, likes you. Like a lot."

I blushed, mortified. Yeah, right. As if anyone that hot could ever look at me and actually want to be with me. He'd have to be desperate.

"You must be mistaken," I told her coolly, and left the room before she could tell me off or give me a lecture.

"They're totally meant to be," I heard Ella laugh.

***FANG POV***

"Way to be, Fang-man," Iggy complimented. I looked at him as a Hawaiian waitress took my American Express. "You scared off three hot chicks in one go. Must be some kind of record. We should call someone about this, get you on the news."

"Shut up," I muttered, still picturing Max's face in my mind. Max. The name really suited her. Tough. Strong. Cool. Pretty much everything I could possibly find in a girl...or want to find, really. I'd had some rough experiences with girlfriends and one-night stands and the like back when I first moved to New York, something I'm sure nobody ever wants to hear about. Long story short, I didn't make time for anyone anymore, except for my friends. Girls were too unpredictable, too unstable. Not that I was gay. I just...wasn't interested in the dating game.

Because it _was _a game. A sick, masochistic game.

I remembered Max's expression when we'd finished eating. She looked...unhuman. Like some kind of caged animal, desperate for escape. What if Iggy was really right about something for once in his life? What if _I _had been the one to scare her off? It was a ridiculous thought, obviously, but I couldn't keep it from infecting my mind. After all, Max had left. Her friends had followed soon after. I don't think any of them cared at all about chipping in to pay for lunch—which was fine, because I was more than happy to pay it if it meant I could see my soul mate again—or saying goodbye or even answering my request to go on a walk. Which made me wonder, was I going too fast?

"Earth to Fang," Sam said, pulling my out of my trance. I seemed to be having a lot of those lately. I made a mental note to stop daydreaming.

"What?" I asked curtly, my voice sounding a little harsher than I'd intended. Sam put his hands up in a "calm down" gesture, but I wasn't really angry to begin with.

"Just wondering if we should wait for them here or down on the beach," he explained. I looked over at the water and thought. Truth be told, I wasn't sure which one the girls would prefer. Actually, I wasn't even sure if they'd be _going. _Then again, Max had said she was going to change...so was that a yes?

"We could meet them at their place," Iggy suddenly suggested, and Sam and I turned to look at him, surprised. I didn't realize he'd be so on board with this little plan of mine. He definitely wasn't the romantic type...but with that girl, Ella? He seemed like an entirely different person. His jokes eased up, his language went down from R to PG-13...this was a freaking _breakthrough._

"But we don't know where they are," Sam replied logically, and I shook my head.

"There's only one path to the private cottages," I reminded him, recalling that they were staying in one of the high class ones like us. "We could probably catch them on their way back, and then we can just walk together."

"And if we miss them, we'll just come back here and wait," Iggy added. Ah, the wonders of intelligence.

We all agreed on this plan. The waitress was quick and came back with my credit card, after which I thanked her. I also noticed the slip of paper with a phone number written on it that she'd managed to sneak into my hand, which I ripped and threw down on the table when she left.

"Afraid Max'll be jealous, lover boy?" Iggy teased, and I rolled my eyes, not bothering to reply. A few seconds later and we were headed down the path to the girls' cottage, hopefully to find Max and her friends.

But mostly just Max.

"...and that's why I don't wear two-pieces anymore," Max finished. I laughed easily. This was going great. We'd met up with the girls (who changed in record time, I might add) and had gotten little fruit smoothies and were now taking a casual stroll down the beachside. It was innocent, and not really like a first date at all, except for the fact that we all knew it was a...er...triple date? I guess that works. Anyway, Max had just told me a super-embarrassing story, so I guess that meant we got to skip the "friends" stage and just move onto "good friends". At least in my experience.

We—Max and I, that is—were quite a few paces behind the others, who had assumed identical positions: walking in pairs, laughing, etc. Iggy even brushed that girl Ella's shoulder a couple of times, and she just smiled at him.

"You know," Max said quietly, pitching her voice so that only I would hear, "they think we should be...you know. _Together._"

I couldn't help it; I laughed again. And then almost immediately regretted it when I saw her face fall slightly before she put up some kind of wall. It didn't escape my attention that she edged away from me a little bit, almost subconsciously.

"No, not like...I didn't mean that," I amended quickly, mentally slapping myself. _Stupid! _"It's just that it's a bit ironic. That's what the guys told me, too. We should be...you know. _Together._"

I saw the corners of her mouth turn up in a small smile at my repetition, and I couldn't help doing the same. Her smile was beautiful.

"Seriously?" she asked, but I could tell she wasn't expecting an answer.

"Yep," I replied anyway, grinning as an idea came into my mind. "Wanna give them a show?"

She looked up for a split second, curious and frightened at the same time, before shifting her gaze down to the sand again, blushing. I immediately began to wonder about this reaction. Had I said something wrong? I couldn't have possibly said anything offensive in that brief sentence. She asked quietly, "What did you have in mind?"

Thank God! I had to fight to keep myself from snatching her hand up in mine. I settled for touching it lightly, and my angel responded by intertwining her fingers with mine. Now I had to fight to just _breathe. _How in God's name would I be able to walk at the same time? I felt electricity run up and down my arm, moving into my spine. I'd never felt so freaking _good _with a girl before. It was a new and nice experience. Much better than any kiss—et cetera—and tell. I _knew _Max was special.

"Hurry up, lovebirds!" Iggy yelled back at us over his shoulder, and I realized with a jolt that we were much behind the others now, our pace slow and dallying. I turned to Max, already feeling the competition in my blood.

"Care for a race?" I suggested. She looked up at me suddenly and grinned. Ah, so she _was _the competitive type.

"You're on, _lovebird_."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Procrastination is a _stupid _ideal to live by! If you're not a procrastinator, never EVER become one! I've been stuck with a crapload of homework all weekend, and now, thanks to my "I'll do it tomorrow..."s I have to finish an English paper, a chem lab, and my math homework in a few hours so I can tutor the stupid kid next door to me...who almost failed third grade. Grr. Anyway, here's your chapter. I did it really fast, so let me know if you find any grammatical errors so I can fix them. I won't be updating for a while, but I'm positive you can expect chapter seven to be up by Friday, if not earlier. Don't rush me, people! I'm stressed! BUT anyway...here are some replies to your lovely comments:**

_**Stella Uzumaki: **You ARE special, haha. I love reading your comments. They make me feel happy. And it was no problem...I actually enjoyed reading it, too. Yang says thanks as well (she's the one who wrote that chapter...I'm much to weak-hearted to handle something like that. Just kidding. But it was her. =D). Hope to hear more from you in the future!_

_**JealousMindsThinkAlike: **My thoughts exactly. I don't like Dylan, either...he should go die in a hole. Thanks for reading! =D_

_**maxride17: **Aw, I'm sorry you didn't like it as much, and so is Yang. We just felt that there had to be some background on the whole Dax relationship, so we created a chapter on it. You can pretend it didn't happen if you like. =) Next chapter will be up soon._

_**Jay Cahill: **Thanks for your regular comments...it's inspirational to know that you're reading every chapter as it appears. I don't like Dylan much, either. He just kind of bugs me. My profile says that, too, haha. I think Max and Fang should just suck it up and accept that THEY'RE perfect for each other. Because **(SPOILERS FOR HUNGER GAMES)** I don't want poor Fang to end up like Gale. Just sayin'._

_**Blindedbylife: **Thanks! I'm glad you like...hopefully I'll have you converted by the time the next chapter is up. =D_

_**Esperanza: **I appreciate your comment! Thanks for reading! =D_

_**Brooke: **Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it! =)_

_**[space]: **Glad you're enjoying it so far. Keep up the comments, please._

_**HeAt-StRoKe: **Thanks for the comment. Hope you enjoyed this chappie...any advice for the characters or anything? Not that I'm requiring it...I'm just sayin'. =D_

**Thanks again for your comments, guys. They make us feel _so _much better about our writing...and for you two hundred people who read this and didn't comment, shame on you! Oh, yeah, I know how many hits and visits I got! The website tells me! I don't care if you tell me that my story sucks rocks or if you just put a little smiley face. WE LOVE YOUR COMMENTS. Pleaaaase leave them so that we can try to decide what to do next. Anyway, rant over. Until next time, peace-lovers!**

-YAY


	7. Chapter VII: Baby Steps

**CHAPTER VII**

***MAX POV***

I'd never thought I'd see the day again. But here I was, holding someone's hand who wasn't just trying to get me to stop crying or screaming or thrashing around in my sleep. Huh. What a welcome change, eh? And of all people to hold hands with, it was _Fang. _

Fang.

It was really nice. His hand was warm and soft, but I could feel callouses on his fingers...maybe he played an instrument, like guitar. Smooth, but a working man's hands. He wasn't the type of guy to just sit around doing nothing anyway, or so it seemed. I watched, fascinated, as the muscles in his forearm flexed while he swung our hands forward together slightly, then relaxed as they moved back. They were the kind of toning you don't just get from weights. I was so enraptured that I didn't realize until Iggy called for us to hurry up that we were walking extremely slow. Fang took his hand out of mine, and my fingers felt cold at the lack of contact.

"Care for a race?" he asked, his tone teasing and slightly competitive. Oh _yes. _I grinned at him. I was a girl for competition...and beating people, which I did a lot. Then again...I remembered his ripcord muscles and felt a flutter in my stomach. Not nerves; _excitement. _Finally, a challenge.

"You're on, _lovebird_," I replied in the same tone, raising an eyebrow. If I was going to race somebody I might very well lose to, the least I could do was try some intimidation. But he didn't look at all intimidated. He just looked amused.

"Want to count down?" he suggested, a huge-ass grin on his face. I returned it.

"Gladly." I took a deep breath and stopped walking. I stretched my arms and my calves quickly, trying to distract him. He halted, too, and swung his tanned arms in front of him and then behind. I tried not to focus on the way the light fell on them, because I knew I'd be a goner right there.

"Anytime now," Fang joked lightly, and I scowled at him playfully before reaching down to touch my toes. I took one more deep breath.

"_Threetwoonego!" _I took off down the beach, the sand spraying out to both sides. God, it was hard to run in sand! And my outfit didn't really help matters, I mused as I sprinted.

"Cheater!" my competitor called out from behind me. But he was close. _Much _too close. I made the mistake of turning slightly, and I saw him catching up to me. I poured on the speed, flat-out _flying _to our endpoint, where I saw the outlines of my friends, probably waiting. I didn't focus on them, though. I kept my attention on the space they occupied, the place I would most definitely reach before...

"Hey!" I tried to shriek as I was passed by a tan blur, but it came out as a huff of breath. My lungs were aching, my ribs straining. I pushed my legs harder, forced my lungs to take in more air. My throat was beginning to dry up something awful, and my tongue was a dead thing lolling in the bottom of my mouth, not even a bit damp. But I didn't dare close my mouth. I needed all the air I could get.

Fang was almost at the end when I gave up trying to overtake him. I could keep pace if I kept it up like this, but there was no way. I set my jaw, sucking in the deepest breath of my life—so deep, in fact, I saw black spots—and sprang up, my feet leaving the ground.

I landed on Fang's back, and our momentum combined with the angle his body was at with the ground made us tumble as one to the finish. I looked up briefly, seeing flashes of blue, a tiny blur of white that was gone so fast I might've been imagining it...there was a green blotch that might've been the very top of a palm tree. Then I hit the sand at about a million miles an hour, the very last of my breath leaving me in a huge _huff._

Before Fang could get up to declare himself victor, I uneasily pushed one hand forward, as if across an invisible finish line. I took a hollow breath and coughed, the feeling like throwing up steel wool. I winced.

"I win," I croaked. Fang was still down, but he managed to roll over and groan, his eyes closed. I grinned through the sand that was covering my face and turned to everyone else, all of whom were staring at us with amused expressions.

"I should've told you," Ella said, looking at Fang, who opened one eye. "She _really _hates to lose."

He groaned again and shut his eye. "Got it."

God, was it possible for his voice to get _any _sexier?

"Um, Max?" Nudge. "You might want to..." I shifted my gaze to look at her, and she smoothed the skirt of her dress a little bit. My eyes immediately flew down to my own, and I realized with shock and embarrassment that it had hitched up to my _very _upper thigh, thanks to my genius tackle. I quickly straightened it.

"_I _don't mind," Fang rasped. He was sitting up now, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes, trying not to think too much about that comment. But I couldn't stop the blush from rising to my cheeks. Iggy whistled and took Ella's hand. As they started walking, Nudge and Sam following close behind, he commented, "You sure can pick 'em, Fang-boy."

I giggled and got to my knees, unable to stand up any further. Fang was already up, and he smirked again, holding out a hand. I stared at it fiercely, then huffed and took it. I knew if I didn't, I would be stuck crawling around in the sand forever because of my wobbly (and very sore) legs. But I didn't have to worry about that, because Fang pulled me easily to my feet, and, though I stumbled once, I managed to stay upright.

"You win," he finally agreed, holding his hand out once more invitingly. I pretended to think about it, teasing him just a little bit. Then I wrapped my fingers through his. Just like before, I felt warm and fuzzy inside. It was like instant calm, though I wasn't really stressed out to begin with. A first.

"_Thank _you," I replied crisply, pulling him forward. "Now hurry up. I don't want to do that again."

As if I was even physically capable of doing that again. My back, arms, and legs already hurt, and I could feel a pounding in my skull. My throat was still dry, and I swallowed, trying to moisten my mouth again after the air had dried it out. God. That had seriously been intense. Fang gave my a knowing smile, and I wondered if he was feeling any pain at all. Just to check, I cautiously lifted my other hand and pressed the shoulder facing me as we walked. He winced and rolled it back. I grinned and pressed harder, giving him a mini-massage. He sighed.

"You should get a job as a masseuse," he told me, and I felt my face heat up, taking my hand away from his shoulder.

"Sorry," I apologized, looking down. I left my hand in his. "That was out of line."

"On the contrary," he replied. His hand came up to my chin and he pushed it up gently so I would look at him. My breath caught in my throat. No. I couldn't do this. What was I thinking? How could I possibly have done anything so set a mood like _this? _I wasn't ready for a kiss from a guy I'd barely known for a day. Too much. Too fast. I jerked my head out of his grip and dropped his hand, crossing my arms over my chest. There was silence for a minute before he spoke again. "Sorry," he said, echoing me. "_That _was out of line."

I didn't say anything as we walked. My hair tickled my cheek in the breeze, and I pushed it behind my ear. Fang touched my hand as I did so, not forcing, just suggesting. I hesitated, but I gave it to him. It would at least relieve some of the tension that was practically rolling off me in waves. I sighed, wanting to tell him that no, it wasn't out of line, that I was just messed up in the head and I would probably never be able to kiss another guy again. But I didn't. Because just holding his hand, walking down the beach with the early afternoon sun on my face...it was enough to make me feel better. And I didn't want to worry him with my problems. At least not yet.

Now that the silence was more comfortable, we quickened our pace until we were caught up with the others, who were talking and laughing merrily.

"That's awesome," Nudge was commenting, looking at Sam in awe and wonderment. He smiled back at her warmly, and I wondered what he could have possibly told her to make her look that way. I'd never seen her so...joyous. So carefree. She was usually either happy or upset or comforting, especially around me. I then realized what it was. She was _flirting. _I winced when I realized that she'd be talking about this walk all night...as well as drilling me for details on my own handholder.

"Totally," Ella agreed. She turned to look at me, and I could tell it didn't escape her attention that my hand was hopelessly tangled with Fang's. A wide grin spread across her face before she continued, "So, Iggy and Sam were wondering if you'd like to go to a luau tomorrow night. It's supposed to be one of the best...they do it every two weeks or so."

I became excited instantly, and wanted to run around in circles, clapping and squealing "yay!" like a toddler. I _loved _luaus. Well, okay, not that I'd ever been to one, but they _seemed _pretty awesome. And—MAJOR plus—my hottie with a body was coming along...hopefully. I turned to him, practically jumping up and down in excitement. He took one look at me face and remarked dryly, "Well, if _this one _wants to."

"Yes!" I exclaimed, this time _actually _jumping up and down. "I want to! I want to!"

Iggy made some comment, and Sam slapped him upside the head playfully.

"Hey!" Ella snapped, making me jump. "No slapping the Igg-ster!"

Iggy laughed and knuckle bumped with her. "Yeah-eah! That's what I'm talking about! This is my soul mate right here, guys! Feast your eyes!"

Everyone burst into fits of laughter, except for Ella. She just smiled sheepishly and looked down at the ground. Iggy had her smooshed up against his side, and I wondered how she could feel comfortable in such a position.

As the racous giggling died down, I suddenly noticed just how tired I was. It wasn't just from the running, either...I was seriously exhausted after a plane ride that long, plus all the late night packing, preparations, et cetera ad nauseum. I guess I wobbled a little bit or something, because Fang steadied me, breaking our hand-to-hand contact and weaving his arm around me. I didn't complain. It just feel _nice. _

"Tired?" he guessed, and I nodded, trying not to get too carried away. I had to virtually restrain myself so I wouldn't cuddle up into his shoulder, which would no doubt scare him away. I did, however, lean my head against his shoulder blade, which everyone else tried unsuccessfully to pretend to ignore, especially Ella and Nudge. But I knew them so well that I could absolutely tell they noticed...and were trying hard not show it. They were probably breaking apart from the inside with the intense smiles they were holding back.

"Let's head back," Ella suggested slowly, obviously savoring the moment. An air of depression slowly made its way over to us, hanging over our heads.

"Yeah..." Nudge replied, sounding dejected. She suddenly perked up. "But we'll see you guys tomorrow, right? For the luau and stuff? Maybe before? When can we meet you guys? Should we just get together for lunch again? At that little place we were—"

"Sure," Sam interrupted, throwing a surreptitious wink over Nudge's head at the rest of us. We stifled snickers. "Let's meet up for lunch at that little place again. Uh...whatever it was called."

"The Surf Shack," Fang told him fluidly. I opened my eyes and he looked down at me. "Do you want us to walk you home?"

I didn't miss that he was talking to me. I smiled softly and closed my eyes again. "Yes, please."

"Don't get used to that," I heard Ella tell him firmly as we started toward the cottages. "She's not usually this polite. She's just exhausted."

Fang squeezed my shoulder a little and said, "That's okay. I like 'em feisty." I heard the smile in his tone, and for once, I wasn't annoyed by a slightly warped joke. I just kept smiling into his shoulder as we walked, and soon—all too soon—we were at our dream house. The goodbyes were sweet and simple, just smiles and hugs and thanks. I brushed my cheek against Fang's collarbone before I let him go, and he helped me to the door and waited until I was inside before leaving. I was beaming sleepily as I made my way upstairs, falling into bed with my dress still on, my pajamas sitting in a crumpled heap somewhere on the floor.

_Thank you, Fang._

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Argh! Okay, I know I just updated today...earlier, I mean. But the chapter was so short and the "Replies to Comments" section was so long...I just _had _to update again. Call it guilt. =P**

**Anyway, I've updated here again for you guys. New chapter sometime this week, hopefully, but I really have to start buckling down with my homework. I had to use up my free homework pass in AP Chem today, and that just _sucks_. No more security blanket for me! Grr. But, anywho, enough about my stresses. Hopefully you guys enjoyed that last chappie, and hope you enjoyed this one, too. No new reviews as of yet, so no replies here. Pleaaaase review, guys! Again, I don't care if it's a simple smiley face...I'll feel better about my writing knowing that you eight hundred-some people aren't just disgusted or bored by my writing and refuse to leave reviews because it's so bad. I accept concrit and I'll even settle for flames, if you have that desire.**

**Rant over. Try to make this Monday better for yourselves, peace-lovers...R&R!**

**-YAY**


	8. Chapter VIII: Beginning the Plan

**CHAPTER VIII**

***FANG POV***

Wow. That'd been freaking _intense. _As Iggy, Sam, and I walked back down to the beach to soak up a bit more Vitamin D before hitting the hay ourselves—though it was, really, much too early to do so—my thoughts wandered back to Max. Wonderful, indescribable Max.

I felt so...complete. Whole. As cheesy as it sounds, it was like there was a piece of my life replaced even though I hadn't known it to ever be gone. In my previous experiences with members of the opposite sex, most "dates" consisted of a movie and—er—making out afterward. I'd never once slowed things down to forge a real relationship before. No hand-holding. No cuddling. Just kiss, break, move on. Kind of sick, really.

I suppose it hadn't always been like that...and I'm talking BM here, as in Before Max. There _had _been...another one. Like Max, I guess, except they didn't really compare. Because I was young and assumed that a crush meant love. High school does that to you. But I could still remember her.

Lissa.

Fiery redhead with a temper to match. Nobody seemed to be able to get on her good side. She was punk, and had an extremely short fuse. We became friends when I was the only person who seemed to agree with what she said. And I did. I just didn't voice it like her. From then on we were, as Max now put it, _together. _After high school, we continued dating for eight months or so before I got down on one knee. Two months later, my family and I packed up and moved to New York.

The restraining order prevented Lissa from coming with us.

But that's a story for another time.

"We should do something funny," I said suddenly, startling both Sam and Iggy. They looked at me, confusion written all over their faces. I felt my face heat up, and it wasn't just from the ninety degree sun beating down on us. Why the hell had I said that? What had I been thinking, even?

"You mean for the girls?" Sam clarified, and I nodded quickly, grasping at straws. Iggy's smirk told me that he didn't buy it...he knew I'd been stuck in another place, far, far away. I tilted my head at him and raised an eyebrow. As if he wasn't still thinking about Ella. The head thing seemed to work, because he rolled his eyes and looked away to hide his blush. Ah. So he _had _been thinking about her. Strangely, this made me feel better about my zoning.

As for Sam...

"Yeah," he mused, looking thoughtfully at the sky. "I'd really like to do something for Nudge. Something that'll make her laugh. I love her laugh."

I grinned. Well, that answered that question.

"What did you have in mind?" Iggy asked, finally getting over his embarrassment, though his face was still a little pink.

I thought, and as a plan formed in my devious mind, my grin grew wide. My friends raised their eyebrows, and I pretended to cackle as I rubbed my hands together. If we could pull this off, the girls would fall head over heels for us.

"Okay, here's what we do..."

***MAX POV***

"_You bitch!" he snarled. I felt the sting on my cheek, and my head swung to the side, making a sick "crack" sound against the drywall. It hurt, but the pain was dull, unfocused. Somehow this all felt normal to me...even like I'd already experienced it. "You think you can disobey me just because you want to?" I felt the sting again, heard the "crack" as the wall buckled. I felt myself falling, my stomach flying up into my throat. My breath left me in a huff._

"_I'm s-s-sorry," I whimpered, covering my head. There was a sudden, searing pressure against my rib cage, and another, different cracking sound. I felt flames pour of of my side, but when I looked, there was nothing there. No tears fell from my eyes, and I wondered why. The pain was enough. I was scared. But everything was too familiar to make me cry._

"_Sorry doesn't change things!" he growled, and kicked me again. And again. And again. And again. I fell on my side and curled up in a fetal position, and I braced myself for the next blow. But as I heard his foot slide across the floor, there was a loud snarl and the shadow above me disappeared._

"_You sick bastard!" a new voice barked, and my eyes widened from under my hands. I looked in wonderment at the stranger who'd saved me. He was throwing Dylan into the wall, and my mouth started tasting funny at the sight. I couldn't bear this. I _loved _him._

"_Stop, Fang!" I cried out, still on the floor. I reached out to him uselessly. "He'll hurt you!"_

"STOP!" I screeched, flying upwards. It was dark out. Holy shit. This was deja vu all over again. I realized at about this time that my two friends, unlike last time, were gazing at me worriedly from the side of my bed. I felt a pang of guilt; how long had I been screaming and thrashing? I hadn't awoken them too long ago, had I?

"We were just coming to wake you up," Ella informed me in a low voice. She looked nervous and a little embarrassed. "Then you started up...is this what it's like every night?"

I stifled a groan as I stretched my sore joints. I straightened my dress and stepped out of bed, wincing as my legs hit the ground. The impact traveled up through the nerve endings and into my spine and neck. That was seriously the _last _freaking time I ever tackled anybody. Ever.

"Do you like pineapples?" Nudge asked me excitedly, not giving me a chance to answer Ella. Sort of a blessing, I guess. I shrugged, not realizing that it might be interpreted as an answer to both questions. "Okay, well, the guys did the cutest thing. Apparently they can't make the luau later, so they sent us this farm-fresh pineapple with a note attached on the step downstairs, and so Ella and I were gonna just cut it up and eat it for breakfast and unpack and hang out on the beach for the rest of the day. Then go to the luau. Then we can come back here and call the guys to see what we're gonna do tomorrow." She took a deep breath, and Ella mercifully interceded.

"They left their numbers. You should text _Fang"—_I couldn't help but notice her emphasis on his name—"so he has your number, too. We've both already sent them texts. Our numbers should be on their phones already."

I nodded and stretched again, making to leave the room. Nudge intercepted me on my way to the door.

"Whaaat?" I complained, irritated. I just wanted to _eat _something. It'd been, according to my watch, about twelve hours since I'd fallen asleep. Two in the morning, local time. Good God, this jet lag would be hard to get used to.

"You can't expect to go to the beach wearing _that_," Nudge said in her usual untactful way. She gestured to my hopefully ruffled dress. I rolled my eyes and pushed past her.

"No, I can't, apparently," I replied sarcastically. My words were slurred due to morning fatigue, though, so it didn't come off as annoyed as I'd wanted it to. "But I think it's good enough to wear downstairs, don't you?"

Nudge huffed but didn't press me further. She knew I liked to have my morning coffee before getting into any real conversation. Come to think of it, I hadn't had one the day before. No _wonder _I'd gotten tired so freaking fast.

My muscles protested as I forced them to walk down the staircase and into the kitchen, where a giant stainless steel contraption labeled "Lamocoff-EX" sat on the counter. I groaned again. I _so _didn't want to have to figure out how to use a new coffee machine. My friends had obviously counted on this, because suddenly Ella was at my side, directing me towards the intimidating robot. She pressed a button that said "type," and a list of options came up on a small screen. I hit "regular" and then, as prompted, "caffeinated." Finally, I hit "START." The machine started gurgling, and I assumed that meant it was working and not about to explode. I sat down on the floor to wait, and Ella smirked at me.

"Remind me never to take your coffee," she commented. I glared up at her.

"You will pry my coffee," I said through gritted teeth, "out of my cold, dead hands."

She laughed, unaware that I was completely serious. But the machine beeped, and, surprised, I stood up. There stood a foam cup with steaming hot Hawaii coffee in it. I grabbed it eagerly, forgetting a sleeve.

"Shit!" I yelled, almost dropping the cup. I placed it gingerly on the counter and wiped my dry hands on my skirt in a sad attempt to dispel the heat. Ella laughed harder, and Nudge, who had followed us, joined in. I shot them my most fearsome glare, but that just set them off again. I scowled and turned back to my coffee, grabbing a paper towel from the roll on the wall and wrapping it around the foam. Walking away, I raised one hand and shot them the bird.

"She is _so charming_," Nudge giggled. I rolled my eyes and started carefully sipping at the drink of life that I had clenched in my hand. Mmm. Hawaiian coffee. I _so _had to get some of this to bring home to my mom and Angel. I felt a sudden pang of longing. Our goodbyes had been brief and excited, and I hadn't really thought about them that much, truthfully. I'd been mostly focused on getting to the airport so I could start my amazing Hawaii vacay. Now I wished that I could've been a little nicer.

My hand automatically went to my pocket for my phone, but I forgot that I was still wearing that damn dress. Argh.

"Where's my phone?" I snapped, then took another sip of my coffee. I could already feel the caffeine flowing through my veins. God, that was the stuff.

Ella pointed to the counter, still shaking with laughter, and I snatched it up swiftly as I plopped down on a stool that was under the bar-like counter across the kitchen. Very convenient. And very comfy. Man, I loved this.

**hey mom. we arrived ok. met some ppl, seem nice. txt me asap k? luv u guys. -M**

I finished the text quickly and sent it. I almost immediately got another text, which surprised me because it was really late back home. But it wasn't from my mom. It was from Ella.

**Ella: _fangs # attached. TXT HIM. ;)_**

I saved the number to my contacts, titling it "Fang". Last name? Unknown. Huh. Maybe I should ask him...or would that be too awkward over text?

"Ride," Ella said, and I looked up at her. Had she seriously just read my mind? She grinned. "You were kinda mouthing, 'last name, last name,' so I decided to help you out. Fang's last name is Ride, Iggy's is Griffiths, and Sam's is Williams."

I raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly did you figure this out?"

Her face flushed. "Um...Google?"

It was my turn to laugh. "Stalker."

I then turned my attention back to my phone and tapped my thumbs idly, wondering what would be appropriate to text someone you like but don't know very well. I guess I wouldn't really know until I tried, right? Right. As I tried to convince myself that I was making the right decision, my fingers tapped out a simple message, trying not to remember the last person I'd sent a similar message to...though under much different circumstances.

**heyy. wassup guy? ;)**

I sent it anxiously, biting my lip. If my friends noticed my hesitation, they didn't comment. I was grateful for that. It was for reasons like this that I was sure I'd made the right choice in choosing my best friends in the whole world. I felt a small smile tug at my lips, but I couldn't bring myself to be happy when I was so stressed. I practically jumped out of my skin when my phone vibrated with a text.

**Fang: _heading out w/ the guys. srry bout the luau. kno u wer lookin forward 2 it. wont be as much fun w/o me there, huh? ;)_**

I grinned now, glad that he was in a teasing sort of mood. It eased some of my anxiety.

**nah, that wasnt it. just wanted 2 kno if ud be out l8r...i mite b meetin my hot hawaiian bf & I dont want him scaring u off.**

**Fang: _wtf? i leave 4 a day & u found a new guy alrdy?_**

I felt a little smug about his possessiveness, though I knew Iggy was probably laughing his head off right now. Fang seemed like the kind of guy whose texts would definitely be scrutinized by his friends. But that was okay. It just added to our little game.

**not new. ooh hes here now. g2g.**

**Fang: _nevermind the trip. im coming over ther 2 kick his butt. ;)_**

I showed my line of texts to Ella, who grinned and gestured for Nudge to come over. When Queen of Talk read them, she burst into a hysterical fit.

"You...guys..are...made...for...each other," she gasped through her laughter. Tears were rolling down her cheeks because of the violence of the hysterics. Of course, this set me and Ella off, too, and we collapsed into giggles.

"So..." Ella said, wiping away the wetness from her eyes. A single giggle erupted from her throat before she coughed and tried to get serious. "Pineapple?"

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So...you like? _Thank you _for all of your wonderful, wonderful comments, guys! You have no idea how much I appreciate them...and as your reward, I tried to give you a longer chappie here. Hopefully you enjoyed. I know it was all kind of fluff, but it was meant to be a filler chapter. What does Fang have planned? It _couldn't _have just been a pineapple and their phone numbers, right? Heheh. Anyway, thanks to _ImSupahAwesome, Esperanza12, , LALI, Raeofmydarkness, _and _JealousMindsThinkAlike _for your reviews. I hope I didn't disappoint. Next chapter up by the end of the week! See ya later, peace-lovers!**

**-YAY**


	9. Chapter IX: Plan Commenced

**CHAPTER IX**

"Um...I don't know, Nudge," I said nervously, turning and craning my head over my shoulder to look at my backside in the mirror. I surveyed myself anxiously, feeling strange in such a bizarre piece of clothing. For me, anyway. This sort of thing was a rarity. "This isn't very...conservative. It's going to be _cold_."

"Psh," Nudge replied as she rolled her eyes and waved one hand dismissively. "Details."

I sighed, knowing that I would be unable to win this battle, and studied myself again in the reflective glass that hung over my bureau. It was flattering, to be sure, but I wasn't exactly sure that it was something I wanted to wear to a luau. In the dark. With the cold breeze against my legs...and my upper thighs, if I agreed to wear this getup. I couldn't do this. I just couldn't. But, then again...I liked it. It suited me. It was...semi-comfortable, if not exactly all-encompassing. And if Nudge was telling me to wear it? It had to be the _in _thing in fashion. Not that I cared, really, but even I had to admit, having a fashion-savvy friend was far from undesirable.

"It's not going to be frigid out," Ella informed me, looking up from her phone, where I assumed she'd been checking the weather. "Hardly any wind, either. It'll be nice and warm."

Glancing at myself in the mirror one more time, I finally conceded. "Okay, Nudge. Whatever. But if I'm wearing this, _you _have to wear something just as revealing. Otherwise it won't be fair," I added, pretending to pout. I even crossed my arms over my chest for good measure. Nudge squealed and clapped her hands, jumping up and down.

"Yay!" she sang, and then practically flew back to her room, probably to get her own outfit together. Which, of course, she would have no qualms about wearing. Especially since she kind of picked it out herself. Unlike me, for instance, who had had this little ensemble (consisting of dark denim short shorts, a cute black halter top, and black flip-flops) brought upon me with force. Ella was wearing something similar, except instead of a halter top, she was wearing a flattering mocha tank that really emphasized her face. **(AN: Check profile for outfit pics) **I gave her a thumbs up, for the first time thinking about someone other than myself, and she blushed.

"She's a handful," I commented, referring to Nudge, and Ella nodded.

"Completely obsessed," she added, and we both laughed a little bit. It loosened the stressed atmosphere of the room, making me wonder why we'd been at all stressed in the first place? We were going to a traditional Hawaiian luau...just the three of us. Best friends ever. BFFs. _BFFLs_, really, no matter how childish it sounded.

So why did it feel like we were missing something?

I didn't have time to ponder this, however, because Nudge came skipping back into the room with a shirt that made me wince.

"Do you _want _guys to come chasing after you?" I complained, gesturing towards her black tube top that stated in large capital letters: "BLINK IF YOU LIKE ME". Ella had to smother a giggle with her fist. Nudge glared, putting her hands on her hips.

"I'm just trying to be fashion-conscious," she sniffed, using one hand to throw her hair over her shoulder. She'd managed to break out the straightener and had confiscated the bathroom for a couple of hours to tame her mane, so it fell in a smooth, uninterrupted waterfall down her back. Sure, _she _could pull off straight hair. But then there was me and my idiotic style. I brushed my fingers through it nervously, and of course Nudge noticed. "Here, let me help you with that."

As she picked up a stray hairbrush off the dresser and came towards me, I protested, "No, Nudge, it's fine. I always leave my hair down. It'll be cool."

This didn't deter her in the least. She ignored me and started brushing the hair out of my face, pulling it—sans my slightly overgrown side bangs—up to the top of my head. I watched in the mirror as she put it in a high ponytail and proceeded to wrap a chunk around the elastic band, obscuring it from view. She pulled a bobby pin out of her own hair and stuck it in mine, forcing everything to stay. I'd never tried such a look before, but I liked it.

"Thanks, Nudge," I said with real feeling, and hugged her. She laughed and squirmed away from me.

"Wait until the end of the night to thank me," was her response, and she wiggled her eyebrows. "The guys will be falling over you left and right. Try to let 'em down easy, girl."

I rolled my eyes, but inside I was fighting hard to keep my emotions from really surfacing. I couldn't afford to let down my wall tonight. The memories wouldn't be able to pollute such a perfect night with my friends.

I wouldn't allow it.

***FANG POV***

My eyes flickered around at the scene nervously. Iggy slung an arm around my shoulders, but I shrugged him off. I was too nervous for joking around.

"Dude, you're way too tense," he complained. I glanced over at him and realized that he was, in his own weird Iggy way, just trying to calm me down. Come to think of it, I _was _really tense. But then, it didn't exactly take Columbo to figure that out. I mean, I'd thought of this plan and everything, but I hadn't really thought out everything. In fact, now that I thought about it, I probably should've just kept my fat mouth shut. I was such a freaking _idiot. _What was I thinking, doing this?

"Seriously, man," Sam joined in, walking over to us. His eyes were gleaming, and he had black paint lines under his eyes that were probably supposed to be some kind of war paint. "Just chill. You know I'd be doing your part if I could, but...I'd probably break all the glass in a hundred mile radius."

"Fine!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in the air in exasperation. "Just make me do everything! It's not like I'd be _nervous _about this or anything! Why the fuck did I even agree to this dumb shit plan of yours, Sam? Why'd you even have to go and suggest it? Of _course _I'm freaked! What if I screw this up? What if I embarrass her...I mean them," I corrected hastily, my anger flaring up more as I saw my friends exchange grins. "What?"

"Well, first off," Sam told me firmly, gripping my shoulders and ignoring my attempts to shake his hands off, "you need to get a grip. _You're _the only one here who can do this. And it's a done deal, okay? We've got the permission and everything. So knock it the hell off before I have to slap you. Second, we weren't laughing at you. You've obviously got a thing for Max, and frankly, it's nice to see that you actually _care _about a girl instead of just using her like a ten-dollar whore minus the ten bucks."

"Just quit the touchiness," Iggy cut in when he saw the look on my face. Sam took his hands off my shoulders and I took a step back. "You were the one with the idea in the first place. Sam just enhanced it...and you _did _agree to it."

I shrugged, feeling defeated but refusing to show it.

"Max will like this," Sam assured me. I rolled my eyes, trying to look like I didn't care what in the hell she thought about me. But I did. I _so _did. Because Sam was right. I didn't normally take the time to make and keep a relationship with a girl. Like I said earlier, though, Max was definitely different from my previous female encounters, and I wanted to show her how much I cared about her. The right way, not the way Sam said. _This would be different._

"Fine," I said briskly, running my hand through my hair like I always did when I was anxious. "But you guys'd better pray that a ukelele isn't that different from a guitar, otherwise this shit ain't gonna fly." I winced at the sound of feedback from a mic somewhere in the distance. "And make sure they fix _that._"

***MAX POV***

"Oh, my God, this is so _cool!_" Nudge practically squealed. I grinned at her. This really _was _cool. When we'd gotten to the luau area, we'd been greeted by a shirtless guy in a long, dry grass skirt. He was muscular and hot as all get-out, of course, and incredibly charming. He'd seated us at a round wicker table with authentic wooden chairs and put leis around our necks individually, giving us a smile, an "aloha", and a single menu that told us what we'd be served for the night.

"Kalua pig?" Ella wrinkled her nose at the sight of the unorthodox dish, and I laughed. The small candle in the center of the table played across her face, making her expression look warped, distorted, and overall hilarious. She scowled at me. "Seriously! How can they expect us to—ooh, mahi!"

"Prepared traditionally," I added helpfully. As she made a face at me, I looked around some more. We were on a large raised wooden platform. About twenty or so tables dotted the surface, some of them closer to the stage and others at quite a distance away. Thanks to our getting here slightly early, we'd managed to get the table closest to it. And "it" was freaking _enormous. _It stood a foot or two higher than the rest of the platform, and there were several raised squares that I assumed were for the dancers or something. The wooden construction of everything made me uneasy, but I tried to reassure myself that they were very careful, very _well-trained _performers, and they would likely not drop any flaming torches.

Likely.

Suddenly Nudge scooted her chair around the table so she was next to me, facing the stage. She grasped my arm tightly, her eyes wide.

"Look!" she whispered furiously, pointing. "They're starting!"

I looked in the direction she was gesturing to. Ah. So they were.

Two traditionally-dressed Hawaiian women were carrying a large pig. They walked off the stage and put it on the central table, cutting it into pieces. Ella looked away, shuddering slightly, but I watched, completely enraptured. More Hawaiians brought out food that I recognized off the menu—the pig, sweet potatoes, salmon, mahi-mahi—and some stuff that I couldn't pronounce and had never seen before. By this time, everyone seemed to be seated, decked out in Hawaiian shirts and the like. I saw one teenager wearing a coconut bikini top. I frowned. I wished we hadn't missed the walkthrough tour of the original Hawaiian settlement earlier. But we'd been at the beach.

I was snapped back into the present when our food was delivered to us by the hot Hawaiian guy from earlier. I smiled at him when he placed the steaming plate of amazingness in front of me, and he smiled back warmly. His gaze lingered a little bit longer on Ella, and then he was gone. I giggled, but it was drowned out by the sound of a haunting kind of singing-chant. Entranced, I looked up at the stage and saw that several torches had been lit in the dark, illuminating the entire thing. I saw a line of dancers emerging from backstage, all of which were male and holding torches. They did a sort of wave, twirling their individual torches one at a time. I couldn't look away.

Our Hawaiian guy was back, and he licked his thumb and forefinger, placing them over the flame of the candle on the table. With one swift movement, it was out, and the only light came from the stars and the stage.

The men continued to twirl their torches, and they began to line up and do an intricate dance with many steps that must have required a deep amount of concentration. I found myself mesmerized by the swirling flames, and I couldn't help but opening my mouth and gasping in shock like the rest of the tourists when one of the guys did a couple of flips without his hands, the torch still in his grasp. A few of the others followed suit, their feet barely making a noise against the wood as they landed perfectly on their feet, in predator-like stances. A few females emerged from backstage, holding torches that were lit with blue fire. They began to mix with the men, singing in high-pitched Hawaiian, their harmonies seamlessly weaving in and out of the bass and tenor voices of their male counterparts. I managed to steal a glance at Nudge, and she seemed to be hypnotized, too.

As the dance got more intense and frenzied, the women seemed to mix their fire with the men's, and all of the torches began sputtering and sparking, making the dance seem even more desperate, more out of control. But everyone was still in synch, the men and the women swaying their hips, twirling and flipping around, spinning their flaming sticks above their heads, singing in a neverending melody. My eyes tried to keep up with everyone individually, but it was impossible. Everyone was moving too fast.

Suddenly, all noise and movement ceased, and everything onstage seemed to freeze. With one quick movement, the men stood and whacked the ends of their torches against the ground, effectively dousing the light. The women did a sort of flick with their hips and they dispersed in opposite directions, their own torches going out mysteriously.

Everything was dark.

There were a couple of whispers from the audience, and then a single man, decked out in a grass skirt with grass bracelets and a shark tooth necklace, appeared in the middle of the stage with a burst of flames that made me jump back in my seat. He seemed to be breathing it out, onto the torch, setting it alight. There was an uproar from the audience, and I couldn't help but let out a whoop and clap along with them. The dramatic music started up again, and the fire-eater jumped around, twirling his torch, before opening his mouth and inhaling the flames. Everyone watched, horrified and amazed at the same time, as the fire seemed to disappear and reappear as he breathed in and out. Suddenly there was a huge supernova of flames and heat that emanated from the guy's throat, and the torch went out just as the music stopped. I clapped and looked over at Ella just as she glanced over at me. We grinned at each other.

The dancing and singing and music went on for a while, and pretty soon I was hoarse with all of my screaming in between scenes. So far, there had been the first two "acts", which went with the appetizer and main course, food-wise; a group of singing Hawaiian girls wearing beautiful red, white, and blue leis, who sang along to our eating of the second course; and, as of this moment, an amazingly athletic and acrobatically-inclined man who was juggling fire. The song he was juggling to gradually died down and became a soft melody, intermingling with a high female voice, and the fire died out as he snuck off the stage. A line of Hawaiian women started performing a hula dance to what sounded like a traditional Hawaiian song, and I felt it tug at my heart strings. Though I couldn't understand the lyrics, it sounded soft and sad...but lovely.

Then, all at once, the singing softened and the dancers separated, moving off to the sides of the stage. I readied myself for the next act, which would probably be amazing. Probably more fire. Then I heard the first lines of the next song, sung by the silhouette towards the back of the stage.

"Ooh, ooooh, oooh, ooh, ooh, ooooooh," the voice sang. It literally brought tears to my eyes. It was so low, so deep, so moving. And I loved this song. I waited for the man I couldn't see to finish the intro, and softly mouthed the lyrics as he began the real song.

_Some-where, over the rainbow, way up high,_

_And the dreams that you dreamed of,_

_Once in a lullaby._

_Oh, somewhere over the rainbow,_

_blue birds fly, and the dreams that you dreamed of,_

_Dreams really do come true..._

Tears were literally falling down my cheeks now, and I desperately wanted to see who was behind such a beautiful voice, who I could barely see was holding a ukelele, playing is almost as well as Iz would've done. I silently prayed that he would step out of the shadows so I could see his face.

_Someday, I'll wish upon a star,_

_Wake up where the clouds are far behind me._

_Where trouble melts like lemon drops,_

_High above the chimney top,_

_That's where you'll find me._

My prayers were answered, because the man suddenly stepped out of the shadows, his face barely illuminated by the torches on the sides of the stage. And my jaw. Freaking. Dropped.

Fang.

His eyes immediately sought out mine, and it was like I was frozen, bound by the stare. But he didn't stop singing, and it was like the words were going straight to my heart, which was in my throat. I felt...wow. This was the most amazing feeling I'd ever had in my entire life. Through this epiphany, Fang continued singing my song in his perfect voice.

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Bluebirds fly_

_And the dreams that you dare to_

_Oh why, oh why can't I...hai hai, ai ai ai..._

_Well, I see trees of green and red roses too_

_I watch them bloom for me and you_

_And I think to myself what a wonderful world._

_Well, I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white_

_And the bright bliss of day I like the dark_

_And I think to myself what a wonderful world..._

His voice never wavered, and our eye contact continued. I began mouthing the words, and I saw a slight edge in his dark eyes change to something that resembled...softness. Love, almost.

_The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky_

_Are also on the faces of people passing by._

_I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do?_

_They're really saying I, I love you._

The look in his eyes and the way he tilted his head at me while singing made me turn to goo on the spot. I heard a couple of "ooh"s from the audience, and I could feel everyone's stares on me, including my friends', but I didn't care. I wanted this moment to last forever.

_I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,_

_They'll learn much more than we'll know,_

_And I think to myself what a wonderful world...urld, urld, urld urld urld..._

_Someday I'll wish upon a star_

_Wake up where the clouds are far behind me_

_Where trouble melts like lemons drops,_

_High above the chimney tops,_

_That's where you'll find me._

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Way up high._

_And the dreams that you dare to,_

_Why, oh why can't I...hai hai, ai ai ai..._

I sighed subconsciously as the last lines faded away, and Fang looked away from me, breaking the trance. He finished standard Iz style with the "ooh" out-tro, which made my already weak heart shiver with suppressed happiness. Well, maybe not so suppressed.

"Max!" Ella whisper-shouted. Her eyes were gleaming. "You're beaming like the fucking Mona Lisa!"

Was I? Then again, Mona wasn't _really _all that beam-y...but who was I kidding? I was ecstatic. The guy I liked—possibly loved, though it was _way _too early to tell—just totally serenaded me in front of about a billion people. Okay, maybe not a billion, but close enough for me, anyway. I touched my face, and sure enough, there was a huge-ass smile on it. Ha! That'd show Nudge that I couldn't pick them! I turned to her to gloat about my man, when I saw that she was enraptured by something else onstage. God, I'd forgotten the show was still going on. I quickly looked up, but Fang was long gone. I silently cursed myself.

_Way to miss 'im, Max, _I thought snidely. Then I saw it. What Nudge was looking at...and Ella, upon closer inspection. The other two boys—Iggy and Sam—were standing off to the sides of where Fang had been. I hadn't even noticed them because of my hypnosis, but I now saw that they were doing a simple but interestingly deep dance. I almost laughed at the look of concentration on Iggy's face, whereas Sam looked completely at ease. In fact, he looked like a real dancer.

The last chords of the ukelele and the last notes from the rest of the singers died away, and the torches all went out for several seconds. There was silence. Then, someone started clapping. I quickly joined in, and pretty soon there were whoops and hollers and yays and claps and whistles coming from everywhere, and the entire platform seemed alive with noise. The stage lit up again, brighter than before, and everyone who'd performed was there.

Well, almost everyone.

My eyes searched hopelessly for my serenader. I managed to catch Sam's eye for a second—he was standing off to the side inconspicuously because of his minor role—and he very smoothly jerked his head over to the side, indicating (hopefully) that Fang was behind stage. I felt my face light up again, and it was all I could do not to leap out of my seat and run headfirst through the throngs of people on stage to find him. Instead, I casually got up from my seat, smoothed out my shirt, and walked along the edge of the stage, turning when I reached the corner. I finally found what I was looking for: stairs leading to the backstage area. I turned around to make sure nobody had followed me; my friends had obviously been cheering too hard to have seen me leave, since they were nowhere in sight. Or maybe they'd seen Sam's signal. Either way, I was in the clear.

I mounted the steps, and almost immediately ran into someone. My first thought was, "FANG!", but it turned out to just be a Hawaiian guy who'd decided for some reason not to join the others on stage. I squirmed past him and ducked through a black curtain, into a dimly lit area. I saw him immediately.

"Fang!"

"Max?"

I ran toward him and jumped on him, this time not aiming to tackle. He took a step backward, stunned, and then wrapped his arms around me tentatively. I looked up to see a confused expression on his face, and for a second I was afraid I'd jumped on the wrong guy. Like, Fang's doppelganger or something. Then I realized how crazy I must have seemed.

Unwrapping myself, I gave him an apologetic and uncertain smile. Had I been wrong? Had he not been singing to me after all? Was it just for the show?

"So...you liked it?" he asked after an awkward pause. Relief flooded through me.

"Yes!" I wanted to yell in his face. "Of I liked it! This is going to make me happy for the rest of my _life, _idiot!"

"No," I told him instead. His face registered shock, then confusion, then something that looked a bit like depression, before he closed himself down. I grinned. "I _loved it_."

The emotions came back, and he grinned a childish grin from ear to ear. "Really?"

"Really," I assured him. His smile was infectious. I loved this moment right here, right now. I just wanted to...could I? I mean, I knew it'd only been two days, but I felt like I'd known him for a lot longer, and he'd just sort of sung to me, and I _really _wanted to...

_Just do it, _a little voice in my head whispered. _Do it before he says anything. Just do it _now.

So, for the second time in my life, I listened to the little voice in my head. I threw my arms around Fang's shoulders and pulled him down slightly, just so he was at my level. His dark eyes gleamed in the inefficient lighting. I closed my own.

And I kissed him.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Can I hear an "oooooooh"? That was _intense, _people! Yay, FAXNESS! Okay, so, now that this chapter is done with...it's late right now so I don't have time to reply to your comments individually...plus there's getting to be too high a number. So I'll just group you for now and hopefully I'll be able to PM you with extra thanks tomorrow. Thank you to _1C3, Colorful, brooke, JealousMindsThinkAlike_ (I will DEFINITELY be Pming you later =D), _Esperanza12, and maxride17_. I love your comments, people...keep 'em coming! Anyway, hopefully you enjoyed this chappie. Next one will most likely not be up tomorrow, but hopefully by Friday. Au revoir, peace-lovers!**

**-YAY**


	10. Chapter X: Perfect Night to Perfect Day

**CHAPTER X**

***FANG POV***

What. The. Fuck. Had. Just. Happened.

One minute I'd been having an entire fucking breakdown that I'd totally blown it with Max—which just so happened to be the second I'd gotten backstage—and the next she had her soft lips pressed against mine, her eyes closed, her arms thrown around my neck. It was heaven on earth, and I could practically hear the hallelujah chorus. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I pull back? Would that hurt her feelings? Should I just go with it? I really wanted to, and _she'd _kissed _me..._

Oh, what the hell.

I closed my eyes, too, and reveled in the kiss, feeling an unfamiliar electric buzz shoot up my spine and through every nerve ending in my body. It was like every cell was a live wire, crackling and shooting signals to my brain, which short-circuited immediately. I subconsciously tilted my head, and Max opened her mouth a little in response. She licked my bottom lip, and I moaned softly.

_Shit._ She pulled back immediately, her face coloring. The arms around me disappeared, leaving me feeling cold. Crap. Why had I acted to idiotically? I thought I'd _promised _myself that I would take this slow with Max. And here I was, acting like a horny fucking teenager.

"Oh, God, Max, I'm sorry," I blurted out, tripping over the words. She looked up at me and something I didn't recognize flashed in her eyes. Then it was gone and she was grinning at me.

"It's fine," she replied flippantly, the high ponytail on her head bouncing a little as she moved. I smiled back at her and couldn't help but put my arms around her and pull her into an embrace. This time our hug was more innocent, and our lips didn't touch. Max just laid her head on my shoulder as I leaned down and inhaled the intoxicating scent of her hair, her skin.

"I'm glad you liked it," I breathed, and I felt her smile against my neck.

"I did," she whispered, her warm breath feeling amazing as it touched my skin. "Thanks."

"Anytime," I told her, and I meant it. Then the realization hit me. I would literally do anything for this girl. If she told me to sing to her all day, I would do it. If she told me to hug her and never leave her side again, I would do it. If she told me to jump off a cliff, I would most definitely do it, without a second thought. And I knew with undying certainty that if she was ever in any sort of danger, I would save her, whether it entailed taking a bullet or jumping in front of a train or even hurting someone else. Because she was _mine._

We stood there for a while, hardly paying attention to anything that wasn't in our little bubble of warmth. All too soon, my Max sighed and tilted her head. "I should get back to the others. They'll be wondering where I am."

"I have a feeling they know," I said into the side of her neck, and she laughed, pulling back and slapping my arm lightly.

"Down, boy," she ordered me with mock authority. I rolled my eyes.

"At least let me come with you?" I asked, forcing myself to keep control and not fall on my hands and knees, begging to not leave my sight. She probably already thought I was some kind of romantic sap. _Little did she know._

Max just smiled and turned around to start walking away. I quickly caught up with her and wrapped a possessive arm around her waist. There were too many shirtless men here to risk losing her to...I didn't want to chance it. She noticed my expression and my glares at every guy who eyed her up as he walked by, and she put a hand on my cheek.

"They can't sing," she said when I looked down at her, and I felt my heart swell a little bit.

We left the backstage area and when we reached the edge of the stage, I jumped down, holding out my hand for Max. She shook her head disapprovingly and pointed at the stairs.

"I'll just use those," my angel argued, and started for them. I used an arm to block her way, then held out my hand again stubbornly.

"I insist."

She rolled her eyes, but grabbed my hand and jumped. I caught her easily, bridal-style. Then I started walked toward the tables. Her eyes widened fractionally, and she pretended to be mad. I just laughed at her pouty face.

"My Max doesn't pout," I reminded her cynically, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe I'm not your Max," she retorted, flipping her ponytail in my face. I couldn't help but feel my face fall slightly at those words, though I knew she was only joking around. Then she turned again in my arms, gazing up at me. Her arms were suddenly around my neck for the second time, and she pecked me on the lips. "Then again," she mused. "Maybe I am."

I grinned dopily as I carried her, picking out her friends and their table easily. Iggy and Sam were already there, smirking, and Ella and Nudge were doing a combination of beaming and looking stunned as they took in my grip on Max. Finally, I set her down, but I kept her hand in mine just for good measure. She didn't object.

"Having some quality time?" Iggy asked innocently, tilting his head at me. I frowned, but Max laughed easily.

"Definitely," she purred in a cheesy seductive voice, pulling me closer. Now Nudge looked like her jaw would hit the floor...or the platform, as the case may be.

We all stood there for a second or two, not exactly awkwardly, but it wasn't all that comfortable of a silence, either. Finally, Ella spoke.

"I guess...we should be getting back," she said reluctantly. I scowled, looking down at Max. She looked about ready to fall over from fatigue, and I realized that it was extremely late and everyone here had gone to bed early the day before. I rolled a shoulder back and stretched my neck. Somehow, I wasn't tired in the least. Call it nerves. Or adrenaline.

"Yeah," Nudge replied after a brief pause, sounding dejected. "We should probably call it a night." She gazed at Sam, who was watching her. "Walk with us?"

"Our pleasure," he replied quickly, taking her hand. They started walking away before anyone else, but Ella and Iggy were right behind. I looked at the heavy-lidded Max, who seemed to be dozing against my shoulder, even though she was standing up. I didn't ask for permission this time; I just scooped her up in my arms and started walking.

"Hey," she mumbled, her head on my elbow. "Put me down. I wanna walk."

"You wanna," I argued mildly, "but you can't. So I'm carrying you."

"Okay." A small smile played on her lips. "Are we gonna do something tomorrow, too?"

"Like another luau?" I clarified, and she nodded drowsily. We were about halfway to her cottage. "Um...I honestly don't think my nerves can take it. Or the guys. I kind of...irked them with my own worrying."

Max frowned, opening her eyes some. "You were nervous?"

I laughed somewhat anxiously. "Yeah."

"Why?"

I bit my lip and looked straight ahead. God, why couldn't she just fall the freak asleep already? Why did she have to ask all of these dumb questions? But she was looking at me with genuine curiosity, and I felt my girl deserved some answers, so I replied, "Because I wasn't sure if you'd like it."

"But your voice is so _pretty_," she argued, and I grinned. Sleepy Max was fun.

"I'll remember that."

We were quiet for the rest of the walk, and I was pretty sure Max was asleep by the time we got back to the girls' place. I was debating whether or not to bring her inside to let the girls deal with her from there, when she asked meekly, "Will you bring me upstairs? I don't want to stand up."

"Anything, Max," I said softly, and kissed the top of her head. She leaned her head against my chest and sighed in contentment. I opened the door—which was unlocked—and saw Ella and Nudge staring at me in shock. I quickly explained, and they nodded their approval. Ella showed me to the stairs and watched me as I ascended with Max in my arms. She was surprisingly light, though I guess I was pretty well-off in the strength department. But my arms weren't at all strained with her weight.

"First bedroom on the left!" Ella called up softly, and I mentally thanked her. There were so many rooms...more than even ours. The guys' cottage, I mean. I opened the door quietly and gently set Max down on her bed, pulling a sheet over her sleeping form. I kissed her head and started walking away, when her voice interrupted me again.

"Sing to me?" she asked, and my will turned into a puddle of goo. I closed the door and sat down on the edge of the bed. She pulled herself out of her covers and turned herself around, resting her head in my lap. I smiled.

"What do you want me to sing?" I inquired in a quiet voice. She shrugged a little and closed her eyes.

"Anything," she said with a yawn, snuggling into me. I stroked her back as I thought. Then I smiled. I had the perfect song.

"There's no picture I could paint to tell you what you mean to me," I sang softly, still rubbing her back in soothing circles. "And no poem I could write to tell you what you mean to me."__

_You're more than fire  
>You are more than rain<br>You're more than love  
>And you are more than pain<br>No, no, there's no single word  
>That could explain.<em>

_There's no flower  
>Blooming like the smile<br>In your ethereal eyes  
>And no scholar<br>Every could explain it - he could be so wise._

I paused when I saw Max's breathing even out, but I decided that I'd keep going, just in case. I took a deep breath, imagined the beautiful music, and closed my eyes, letting the familiar lyrics unfold and wash over me.__

_You're more than heaven  
>You are more than earth<br>The origin  
>You are more than birth<br>You're more than beautiful  
>You're everything to me.<em>

_It's not the way you move  
>It's not the glowing<br>On you face when you smile  
>That makes me trembling and calm<br>It's not that look in your eyes  
>When I am going<br>It's just everything - what you are._

_There's no ocean  
>Deep enough to show you what you mean to me<br>And no mountain  
>High enough to show what you mean to me.<em>

_You're more than meaning  
>You are more than time<br>You are redemption  
>You're the reason why<br>You're so mysterious  
>You're everything to me.<em>

_It's not the way you move  
>It's not the glowing<br>On you face when you smile  
>That makes me trembling and calm<br>It's not that look in your eyes  
>When I am going.<em>

_Don't you let them live in your soul  
>Whenever they will try to barricade the way that you go<br>You're fragile - souls can fly._

I smiled and kissed her one more time before gently sliding my legs out from under her head and leaving, shutting the door silently. As I left, I whispered, "I love you, Max."

And then I was gone.

***MAX POV***

I woke up with my hair in my eyes and my sheets hopelessly tangled around my legs. I cringed, smashing my eyes closed, waiting for the pain, both physical and mental. I waited for the sweat to run down my forehead and into my eyes, making them sting. I waited for the screams that I was sure would burble their way out of my throat, making it feel raw and sore later. I curled myself into a ball, waiting.

Nothing happened.

My memories of the night before suddenly came flooding back, washing over my brain, and I felt my face heat up. Fang carrying me to me friends and then home. Fang carrying me upstairs. And, finally, Fang singing me to sleep. I tried to recall the lyrics of the enchanting song, but I was drawing a blank. I sighed in frustration and slowly disentangled myself from my bedclothes, amazed that I'd had a normal sleep. In fact, as I looked around, I realized that it was actually a decent hour. A pleasant change.

I checked the watch that I hadn't taken off for a couple of days. Local time, it was ten in the AM.

Surprising, but nice.

I reached my hands up and stretched, groaning. There was still some lingering pain from my run-and-tackle from a couple days ago, but it wasn't really _pain _so much as a dull, throbbing ache. It was inconvenient, but alright. Not nearly as bad as yesterday.

As I worked the kinks out of my spine, legs, and neck, a bundle of fabric on my bureau caught my attention. I rolled my eyes. The work of Nudge, of course. As it I wasn't capable of picking out my own outfits. Then again, I'd fallen asleep in denim, a choice that she would definitely deem cringe-worthy. And she'd been right about the clothes choice yesterday. At least, _Fang _had seemed to like it.

I blushed again and quickly forced myself to change tracks. Whatever. I'd check out these clothes. It was the least I could do for her. I reached over to the pile and picked up the item of clothing from the top, which immediately made me wince. It was an extremely short dress with gray and white horizontal stripes. Despite its length, the sleeves were mid-arm. My look of disgust quickly became one of satisfaction when I noticed a pair of capri leggings underneath it.** (AN: Pictures on profile)** Thank God...er, Nudge. Same difference.

I grabbed the clothes and headed for the bathroom to take a nice, long shower. As I locked the door, I checked myself out in the mirror and felt that same blow to my self-confidence that I always got when I was around a reflective object. Everything about me seemed so..._plain. _I didn't understand what Fang saw in me as I studied myself, my C-sized chest, brown hair, brown eyes, extremely fair skin. I wasn't overweight, obviously, because every angle on me was harsh and jagged. I didn't look desirable in the least.

Scowling, I turned away from the mirror and turned the shower on full blast, maximum heat. I didn't wait for it to warm up; I just stepped in. I stood there awhile, reveling in the feeling of the warm water massaging and relaxing my muscles, before I untangled my hair with my fingers and cleaned myself. By the time I was done washing and drying, I could hear Ella and Nudge moving around downstairs. I changed and brushed my hair as quickly as I could before skipping down the stairs to see my friends. They smiled at me in greeting, and I beamed back at them.

"Hey, guys!" I said cheerfully, bouncing over to the fridge for some breakfast. It was fully stocked, I saw with surprise. Grabbing an orange, I waltzed over to the coffeemaker and punched in what I wanted, my friends looking on in amusement.

"Wow," Nudge commented. "Before your coffee?"

I, maturely, stuck my tongue out at her and grabbed my cup of steamy goodness, sipping it happily. I then sat down at the small table the girls were at.

"So?" I prompted, crossing my legs. "What're we doing today?"

Ella and Nudge glanced at each other, and I immediately felt suspicion rise up in me.

"We're not sure," Nudge admitted, and I gave a mock gasp.

"Nudge doesn't know what to do when we're in _Hawaii?_" I pretended to be shocked. Then I laughed. "That's so not like you. Don't we have a tour to rush off to, a pretty reef to snorkel at? Anything at all? Or should we should text the guys?"

"Haven't you already?" Nudge sounded surprised. I stared at her dumbly. Had I broken some kind of unspoken rule among women? Were you _supposed _to text a guy after he let you kiss him, carried you back to your cottage, and sang you to sleep?

Good God, my life was sounding more and more like a fairytale every day.

"Hurry up!" Nudge urged. "Text him! Go!"

I raised my eyebrows but complied, getting to my feet and walking upstairs. I found my phone in the pocket of my discarded shorts, and I checked the messages. There was one from Ella asking if I was up yet—which I didn't bother replying to—and one from Nudge asking if I was done with my shower. I rolled my eyes. Micromanagers. Then I composed a text to Fang.

**hey.**

I stared at my phone for a second. Nah. He'd probably think I was being rude. Or dismissive. Which I wasn't. I tried again.

**heyy. ;)**

Too flirty. I hit "exit," but my idiotic phone started sending the message. I hastily pressed "cancel," but a little pop-up came up and declared that it was already sent. I sighed, frustrated, and plopped myself down on my bed. I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling for a couple of minutes, and then my phone buzzed. I turned my head to check, and it was from God himself.

**Fang: _hey urself. ;)_**

Oh, well, at least he wasn't offended. And he seemed to be playing along. I smiled as I texted him back.

**nm. just relaxing.**

**Fang: _sounds nice._**

I bit my lip and thought a little bit before I answered him. I didn't want to seem _too _sappy, but I might as well say something, even if it didn't directly refer to last night. Because God knew that would be a comfortable conversation, right? Ha.

**not rlly. cuz ur not here. :(**

**Fang: _thats sweet of u. i didnt realize i meant so much. i wouldve stayed._**

I blushed yet again as I realized what he was referring to. He would've stayed the night at our cottage. For _me._

**aww ur the best. wanna visit now?**

**Fang: _im at the beach w/ the guys...maybe u could join us?_**

**meaning with nudge & ella 2? thats no fun...**

**Fang: _I bet Iggy and Sam could keep them distracted long enough 4 us 2 get away. ;)_**

I grinned at the implied connotation as I texted him back on the affirmative. He wanted some alone time. With me. _Me. _I seriously needed to background check this guy. Did he have some sort of hidden agenda? A history of kidnapping plain, boring girls? He was seriously hot. He could probably have any bikini-clad girl he wanted. And he'd chosen _me. _Why?

A slight vibration from my phone distracted me from my disturbing thoughts, and I look at the screen halfheartedly. When I saw it was from Fang, my thumb couldn't hit the "view" key fast enough. I felt a warming in my heart at the message.

**Fang: _see ya soon, angel._**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: And the Fax-ness has upped its game! Woo! Haha, hoped you liked this chappie...no, I didn't update yesterday, and I did it-*gasp*-on purpose! Dun-dun-dun! I got the feeling that you people weren't appreciating my work, so I took it upon myself to add a little more suspense time between chapters. As usual, here's a little shout-out to Esperanza12, Jay Cahill, JealousMindsThinkAlike, maxride17, and Raeofmydarkness. Y'all mean a lot to me! Also, for any of you out there wondering, the song in the last chapter was "Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole (yes, he's Hawaiian, and yes, I CAN pronoune his name). The song in this chapter was "Nothing" by Fool's Garden. Look them up on YouTube...they're both amazing songs. **

**And now that _that _rant's over...pleaaaaase R&R for this chapter. I refuse to update unless and until I get up to 55 reviews. That's just four more, people. C'mon. Anyway, enjoy your Friday, and _until I get fifty-five reviews, _I'll talk to you later, peace-lovers!**

**-YAY**


	11. Chapter XI: Breakdowns and Confessions

**CHAPTER XI**

"Oh, my God! Why didn't you give me more notice? Couldn't you have texted him earlier? Can't you do _anything _without my asking you to first? Are you seriously that useless?" Nudge paused thoughtfully at my cringe, and she quickly backtracked. "Okay, okay, sorry. But really. Couldn't you have said, like, 'I'll be right there, but my friends will have to meet us later'? That's not too hard, is it? How can you expect me to adequately prepare an outfit on such—"

"Nudge!" Ella exclaimed, throwing her arms up in exasperation. "It's a freaking day on the beach! No one's expecting you to be dressed like a total fashionista every hour of every day! Besides," she added mischievously, "Sam would like you if you wore a paper bag."

Nudge huffed, pulling her arms out of her giant pile of clothes and crossing them over her chest. "You're just saying that."

I laughed despite myself. "No, she's not. We've _seen _the way that boy looks at you, Miss Designer Jeans. He's totally obsessed. We're not saying to _not _care about what you'll wear—because that's pretty much a physical impossibility—but really. Just chill. Quit acting like you've got a stick up your butt and put something on that looks nice. Okay?"

Nudge didn't even pause before wailing, _"But what the hell do I WEAR!"_

"She's hopeless," I groaned, throwing myself backwards onto the bed. Ella laughed at our antics.

"Completely," she agreed.

Nudge just sighed, and continued her desperate search for clothes. I'd actually never seen her quite this frazzled. True, she was always obsessed with what Ella and I were wearing, but I'd never watched her attempt to pick out an outfit for herself. It was quite amusing to watch, actually. She would grab one shirt, put it down, pick it up again, and place it to the side carefully, smoothing out all wrinkles. Then she'd stand back and either shake her head—in which case she would proceed to throw it behind her, retrieve it, and reexamine it—or nod—in which case she would continue the search for pants. She repeated the process countless times, each time getting slightly more agitated. When an entire outfit was made, she'd pick it up, twirl it around, pat it, hold it up to herself in the mirror, and promptly discard it, picking up items that she still saw promise in.

Like I said, amusing.

Ella and I had already settled on swimsuits: I had selected a blue and white striped bikini (to shake things up with You-Know-Who...Nudge's suggestion, not mine) and Ella and decided on a cool black and white abstract-stripes-type bikini. **(AN: Pictures on profile) **We decided not to wear cover-ups because we were just planning on going swimming and sunbathing, not going out on the town. And if we decided the latter, it would take only a couple of minutes to come back, change, and leave...hopefully with the guys.

If Nudge could figure out how to pick out an outfit in less than an hour.

"_Nudge!_" I complained, and was rewarded with a shirt thrown in my face. I was about to say something clever, but Nudge suddenly screamed, making everyone jump.

"I found it!" she squealed, holding up a rather skimpy pink number. It was strapless and itsy-bitsy. Sam would love it.

"Hurry up and get changed!" Ella urged, and she and I turned around while Nudge slipped out of her clothes. She was changed in record time, and we practically sprinted to the beach, remembering at the last minute to bring along our beach bag with towels, sunblock, and the like. Nudge carried the black bag over one shoulder as I quickly texted Fang.

**srry bout the holdup. nudge+beach=hours of changing outfits. =P**

The reply was almost immediate, and it made me grin despite myself.

**Fang: _its ok, angel. ill wait 4 u all day._**

I still couldn't get over the fact that this gorgeous God of a guy had chosen me. Freaking _me. _Probably the plainest and most definitely one the most screwed up girls on the planet. Although I tried daily to _not _think about why I was screwed up, I knew I was. Deeply. Hence the paranoia about whether or not this relationship was real.

_Stop it! _I chastised myself harshly. _Just stop it! He's not—_ugh—_Dylan. Really. He's Fang, and he likes you._

I couldn't help but remember the last time I listened to my conscience, and I felt my face heat up. Ugh. Would this embarrassment about my thoughts ever stop?

Pretty soon we were at the beach, our feet hitting the telltale powder-soft sand. I looked around for the guys, but they where nowhere to be found. There were some girls in bikinis smaller than the one Nudge was wearing—which was pretty scarring, frankly—hanging off of their boyfriends, their friends' boyfriends, and probably complete strangers' arms, and it made me feel suddenly self-conscious. I looked down at my own frame and compared my hard arm and legs muscles and meager chest size to their thin limbs and surgery-enhanced breasts. I put my head down, allowing my hair to obscure my view of them, and kept walking, half hugging myself, half trying to hide my body. Why had I chosen this swimsuit in the first place? What did I stand to gain?

"Max, you look beautiful," a voice said, and I looked up, shocked. Ella had stopped and was looking at me, taking in my stooped stance and crossed arms. I couldn't stop the wave of irrational disappointment that washed over me because the voice didn't belong to who I wanted.

"Thanks," I replied lamely, trying to smile slightly as I continued to look around the expanse of sand, searching for my guy. My smile became real as I thought those words. _My guy. _I never thought I'd have that sort of relationship again.

"Let's set up here," Nudge suggested, gesturing to where we were standing. I noticed our close proximity to a group of jocks and deemed it just a little bit too close. Especially after that last incident on the beach. I shivered.

"How about down the beach a little?" Ella asked hastily as she watched me. I frowned. I didn't want to worry anyone, let alone ruin their day at the beach.

"Wherever you guys want," I said, shrugging. We ended up away from the jocks and the bikini-clad girls in a nice, semi-deserted area of the beach. Pretty quiet, peaceful, gorgeous. It was the perfect place to sunbathe while we waited for the guys. I laid out my towel and sat down, and my friends did the same. We passed around the sunscreen and rubbed it into each others' backs where we couldn't reach. I then laid down on my stomach, loving the feeling of the warm sun on my shoulder blades. All the noise seemed to blur into one continuous, comforting murmur. I closed my eyes and let the peace and tranquility wash over me with the Hawaiian sun.

"You should've let me get your back," a voice whispered next to my ear, and I felt a smile tug at my lips as I recognized the sound.

"You weren't here," I whispered back, and turned my head to the sound of the voice without opening my eyes.

"How are you so sure it's who you think it is?" the beautiful voice asked, and I opened one eye just to make sure. I saw his unmistakably onyx eyes, his olive skin, his dark hair that brushed his eyebrows. He was lying on his side, his head on his arm. I sighed and closed my eye again, not bothering to answer him. I felt his lips brush mine lightly, lovingly, and then he pulled away.

"What?" I complained, opening my eyes and sitting up. Fang gave me a crooked grin and got to his feet, holding out his hand. I ignored it and stood up on my own, brushing some stray sand off of my legs. I then remembered Ella and Nudge, and glanced at them. They were sitting up, but Sam and Iggy were nowhere to be found. I looked at Fang questioningly.

"They were held up," he said simply. I narrowed my eyes. He gazed into them innocently. "What?"

I dropped my gaze, exasperated, and stated abruptly, "I'm gonna go swim." Then I started walked toward the water.

"Not without me!" Fang called, and caught up with me, easily keeping pace. He carefully tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear, his fingers brushing my cheek. This was too much work. I couldn't stay mad at him. He was too..._charming._

I sighed. This was getting complicated fast. It was ridiculous that I would act like this with somebody I hardly knew. I didn't even know his favorite _color, _for crying out loud. That's, as Nudge would say, a "first date" kind of question. On the other hand, he was so smooth, so nice, so freaking _perfect _that there was no way I could possibly turn him down. He was an amazing guy...far from any other type I'd ever known. Which really only included one, but I hardly counted that relationship as a real one.

"Why do you do that?" Fang asked softly, gently touching my clenched fist. I looked down at it, surprised. I hadn't known that this had become a habit.

"I...don't know," I whispered slowly. I quickly flexed my hands, forcing my fingers apart. I shuddered as my toes hit the water, and I was quickly wrapped in an embrace by the best guy in the entire world: Fang himself. I slowly melted into his arms, crushing my eyes shut. But that just made the images that were suddenly dredged up and inflated go into overtime. Pictures and movies dancing in my retinas, blurry and out of focus. They were disjointed, unrelated. Well, somewhat related. Because of the main subject; the star of the show.

Dylan.

"Max?" Fang sounded slightly panicky, and I vaguely wondered why. He knew I was messed up. He knew I was broken beyond repair because of what I'd done; what'd been done to me. He knew my past, everything that had happened. Why was he so upset? Why was he scared? "Max, stay with me!"

Then it hit me: he had no idea. He would never have any idea. I felt nausea roll over me in waves, felt my stomach cramp. Bile began to rise in my throat, and I forced myself to open my eyes, if just for a second, to relieve myself of these God-awful images.

"_Oh, Max," Dylan sneered, running the knife over my cheek. I felt the warmth of the blood running down my face, but there was no pain. It was too cold outside. I didn't want to be cold. I shouldn't be out here. I needed to leave. Leave, now!_

"What's wrong with her?" Nudge asked fiercely.

"I don't know! She just started freaking out!" Fang sounded upset. I squeezed my eyes closed tighter.

_I lay there in a pool of warm, red liquid. Things slipped blurrily in and out of focus. I tried to move, to feel the back of my head, but nothing about me could be controlled. My gaze was fixed on the sky, the moon. Everything was dark except for the bright, shining moon..._

"Max!" Ella. "Max, snap out of it! He's not here! _You _are! You're with us now. Okay? You're _with us. _Breathe. Inhale...exhale...inhale..."

"Has she done this before?" Fang's voice asked.

"Only when...never mind. Just sit her down."

"_Max, it's okay," Ella told me. I felt a pressure on my hand and opened my eyes. The ceiling was white, the walls were a light blue. There was a faint beeping sound. A hospital? I struggled to make my mouth move. I needed to ask what had happened. I couldn't remember. "Max, just breathe. Inhale...exhale...inhale..."_

I came to quickly and suddenly, just like I always did. I drew in a shaky breath when the feeling of falling finally passed. I found myself on the sandy ground, with three worried faces looking down at me. A rush of nausea made me shudder and lurch to my feet, but I only fell down again. I felt a hand rub my back and another hold my hair back as I heaved up all the food in my stomach onto the sand.

"You'll be okay, Max," a deep voice said, but it was too nervous-sounding to be of any use. Besides, I _knew _I'd be okay. I always was. I wasn't even scared anymore.

This was all my fault. I'd been such a fool. It just went to show that I should never, _ever _let my wall down. This wasn't the first time, but I was positive it would be the last. There would be no more opening myself up, no more remembering.

No more Fang.

_No, no. Let's not be hasty. Fang had nothing to do with this. Well, okay, kind of, but not really. It wasn't his fault. Or was it? He existed, didn't he? So I guess he kind of was responsible. But he couldn't help existing. Not _really. _Then again..._

Oh, God. I was going freaking crazy. Nuts. Wacko. Off my rocker.

What kind of guy _was _he?

I coughed up the last of the vomit and dry heaved for about fifteen seconds. Then I just kind of knelt there, listening to the supposedly comforting words of my friends. I hated this. I hated myself. I mean, this had been the _perfect _day...at least the start of it had. And then I'd starting thinking about that _asshole _Dylan. I felt tears threaten to spill over just at the thought of his name, and, horrified, I squeezed my eyes shut again, this time seeing nothing.

"Max, is it over?" Ella asked softly, and I opened my eyes, falling back on my butt. I turned away from the pile of half-digested food in disgust and nodded, feeling short of breath.

"Yeah," I managed. The nausea had faded as quickly as it had come. I waited until what I was about to say was true. "Yeah, it's good. I'm fine."

Ella breathed a sigh of relief and pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back. She'd been the one to snap me out of it. Again. Just like always. I was such a screw-up. I was—

"Maybe I should go," Fang said in an odd voice. I pulled away from Ella and looked up at him, forcing myself to stand up. I wobbled a miniscule amount, but I was fine. It was over. The memories had receded, been locked down.

"No, stay," I replied, aiming for hopeful and coming off with pleading. "It wasn't you. I'm...I'm sorry."

I suddenly felt awkward. I'd just had a complete and total panic attack in front of a guy I was obviously falling for. Well. I guess now he knew exactly what he was dealing with. Now he had a decision to make...and I was sure I knew the outcome.

"Please," I added. It sounded as if I was begging. "Please stay."

Fang breathed out and ran a hand through his already tousled hair. He nodded. Relief coursed through me. Then he asked, in a low, slightly strained voice, "Do you want to tell me what that was about?"

My breath caught in my throat. I _knew _it. I _knew _he'd think I was demented.

His eyes widened marginally, and he hastily added, "It's just...I want to know what I did. I don't want..._that_ to happen again. What did I do wrong?"

"You're being ridiculous," I replied immediately, without thinking. Then I blushed. I hadn't meant to say that out loud. "I mean, it seriously wasn't you. You didn't do anything wrong." I laughed once without humor. "It was me. All me."

"So you don't want to talk about it?"

I hesitated, then shook my head. "Not really." _But I might tell you someday, _I added in my head. _If you decide to stick around._

Sighing, I looked back at my friends, who looked extremely worried.

"I'm gonna head back," I told them, and they nodded.

"I'll come with you," Ella said, already starting forward, but I stopped her.

"No, I'll just go alone." Her expression looked worried and incredulous at this remark. "I'll be _fine_. I'll text you when I get there. I don't want to ruin your day. Just stay."

And with that, I turned around and walked away.

***FANG POV***

Sometimes, there are certain situations that call for giant speeches of many words. Inaugurations, elections, debates...all of those require great big sentences of long, drawn-out words that nobody knows the definition of, full of ifs and whats and hows. But for this situation that I was in right now, what I was feeling and what was going on and how everything kind of just came together could be simplified into one intelligent, comprehensive word.

_What?_

I looked at Ella and Nudge, opening my mouth to ask some question, _any _question, but I just kind of stood there with my mouth open, unable to speak. Nudge was sort of half-glaring at me, like I'd done something wrong but obviously didn't know it, and Ella's face was sad. I quickly closed my mouth before flies started gathering around and did the first thing I could think of, something that had always worked with Max before.

I followed her.

***MAX POV***

I felt the tears prick behind my eyes, but I held them back. For now. I was practically running back to the cottage. There was no way I could do this anymore. I'd just embarrassed myself in front of both of my friends _and Fang _in public. _Public. _I'd never had a breakdown in public before, not even slightly. I'd always been so careful with myself so I wouldn't get upset. I avoided menswear shops if Nudge dragged me to a mall, I never went to rough neighborhoods...I kept away from anyone or anything that reminded me of _him. _My wall was always carefully in place, built up brick by brick every single day of my life.

And now I was back at the beginning again.

Sure, I'd had several meltdowns before. But they were both few and far between. And almost all of them had happened during my depression or shortly after. I hadn't had any for awhile now. I guess I was overdue. Fate had some sense of humor.

I got to the cottage and was immediately pissed off when I remembered that the fucking door was locked. Again. Still. Whatever. It'd happened again. And, unlike last time, Ella wasn't running after me with a key. Because I'd told her to stay behind. Smooth, Max.

Slowly, oh so slowly, I sank down onto the steps and crossed my arms over my legs, letting my head falling onto them. I breathed in shakily and couldn't stop the tears this time. This _sucked. _Some vacation this was turning out to be. I'd come here to get away from my problems, to spend some time with my best friends in the whole world. And what had I done? I'd run right back into my problems and completely alienated myself.

I sat there for what seemed like forever, and I gradually became aware that my arms and back were warmer than normal, that there was more than one person breathing in the vicinity. I looked up, startled, and found that Fang was sitting next to me with his arms wrapped around me. And I hadn't freaked out. I sniffled and wiped at my face furiously, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. God, I was such a freaking _baby._

"Don't be embarrassed," he murmured, pulling me a little closer. I responded by putting me head against his chest and sobbing harder. We sat together silently, except for the occasional hiccup that jerked its way out of my throat. Fang didn't try to stop me, didn't say anything. He just rubbed my back in relaxing circles with his hand as I cried myself out.

Eventually, the sobs subsided to whimpers, and the whimpers subsided to shaky breathing. Fang stayed silent, and I felt embarrassed again as I pulled away from his soaked shirt. I wiped the remaining moisture from my eyes. This was horrible. I didn't even know why...how...what...?

_Crying, Max? _I thought sadly. _Really?_

"Are you okay now?" Fang asked, and I nearly started crying again because of his consideration and concern. I pushed his arms off of me and wrapped my arms around my legs.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling self-conscious for the second time that day. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with me."

"Deal with you?" Fang sounded incredulous and slightly...outraged? I cringed, but he ignored it. "Max, it's not your fault if you're feeling...you know. _Bad._" He ran a hand through his hair and sighed in frustration. I looked at him in confusion. "Like...if it's...your time of the month. Or whatever."

An explosion of laughter rocketed out of my mouth for about half a second, before I slapped one hand across it to silence myself. A hysterical giggle worked its way through the barrier, though, and I immediately felt bad as I saw Fang's face color. "Sorry," I repeated, smiling slightly.

"So I'm wrong?" Fang challenged.

"Extremely," I admitted. He sighed.

"Are you going to tell me?"

I thought. "Eventually."

He was quiet again. Well, this conversation was going nowhere fast. I felt awkward sitting here—in a bikini, no less...which, come to think of it, was probably why I was a little chilly sitting here in the shade—with Fang, talking about my life. Kind of.

"Whenever you're ready," he finally said, and I looked at him, surprised. He wasn't going to wheedle? Or at least act curious? Did he even _care? _Was it possible he was just being sensitive? Well, there was a first in my life. Someone being sensitive towards me. At least, someone of the opposite gender. My friends were always sensitive of my "situation."

"Thanks."

The silence was a little more comfortable this time, but I was getting colder because of my clothing—or lack thereof—and the area in which we sat. I shivered slightly, and Fang replaced his arms around me in a natural gesture of caring. It felt nice. He took a deep breath, and I tensed.

"You know I care about you, Max," he started, and I mentally backtracked. Whoa. When had I known this?

"You do?" I asked incredulously, and then mentally facepalmed. That was me. Max, the girl who asks awkward questions. But Fang seemed to take it well and laughed, running his hand through his hair again. I figured it was probably a nervous thing.

"Irrevocably," he answered, and for some strange reason, I felt a rush of extreme happiness flutter through me at his confession.

I swallowed and looked up at him. "Me, too."

A slow, goofy grin spread across his face. "Really?"

I laughed as I realized the truth in my own words. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my chest. I was flying, free, untethered anymore to my past. I had to force myself not to completely untie myself. "Irrevocably," I said, echoing him. His grin widened.

Then his lips caught mine, and the last of the ropes were severed.

I loved him.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Whew! That's what I call a chapter, guys! Hopefully y'all enjoyed it..._pleaaaase _R&R! I told you I'd update when I hit 55 reviews, and I did (I'm currently at 59. Woo!), so...good for you people! Anyway, I'll update again when I hit 65 this time, so that's just six more reviews. Six more! You guys can do it, I'm sure. As always, a thanks to my reviewers, who this time include xDarkAngel1x (yay! New reader! =D), Brooke, Esperanza12, Jess, Raeofmydarkness, JealousMindsThinkAlike, and Sarah. Thanks sooo much for your support, guys. I love you! =D**

**Remember: six more reviews and you get your next chapter! Have a great rest of the weekend, because _I _know I will (I'm currently watching _Thelma and Louise_), and hopefully I'll write for you soon. Au revoir, peace-lovers!**

**-YAY**


	12. Chapter XII: Cults of Personality

**CHAPTER XII**

"Max! Max, I'm sorry, but I totally forgot about the key agai—oh!" Ella looked surprised and embarrassed as Fang and I quickly tore away from each other. I ran a hand over my lips for good measure, feeling my face heat up like it was on fire. Can we say awkward? "God, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to disturb you guys or anything..."

"No, no, it's okay," I said quickly, standing and grabbing the key from her hand. A slight breeze had kicked up, and I was shivering in my skimpy bikini. The water on my legs didn't help much...and neither did the sweat that had broken out on my forehead during my episode. My fault, again. "I want to go inside, anyway. It's getting cold out here." I turned to Fang, all but forgotten, sitting awkwardly on the step where I had just been. "Come with me?"

He shook his head slowly and regretfully, and my heart sank a little bit. "I have to get back to the beach. The guys were supposed to meet me there...they'll be wondering where I am."

I tried to hide my disappointment.

"I'll tell them," Ella volunteered, and I shot her a thankful glance. Fang ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

"Okay," he finally agreed. I beamed and grabbed his hand, running forward to unlock the door. He stood back politely, and pulled open the door for me to walk through once it was unlocked. I raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm nothing if not polite."

I laughed and pointed at the couch. "Stay. I'll be down in a second."

He grinned and made a show of sitting, patting the cushion, and lying down. He squirmed, pretending to get comfy, and I rolled my eyes. He _had _to know by now that I wasn't anything like Nudge; I'd have some new clothes on in a second. Taking his motions as a challenge, I sprinted upstairs and began rifling through my suitcase. I pulled out the first pair of jeans I saw and yanked a white camisole that looked cute out of a side pocket. But I would still be cold. I rummaged through a bunch of light sweaters and finally settled on a cute black cardigan. It would be perfect as long as I stayed in the shady areas or inside—otherwise I might get too hot. **(AN: Pictures on profile)**

I got dressed as quickly as I could and, grabbing a pair of black flats, flew back down the stairs to where Fang was still pretending to sleep. Grinning, I knelt down next to his face and gently kissed the edge of his jaw. His eyes flew open and he sat up abruptly.

"Shit, Max! Mind giving me a little warning next time?" He rubbed the back of his head. I laughed.

"I told you I wouldn't be long," I reminded him, blowing him a kiss as I stood up. His arm found my waist and I was pulled down onto the couch next to him. I put my head on his shoulder and sighed in contentment. I hadn't really noticed before, but he smelled good. Like...Old Spice and cinnamon. I inhaled his scent and smiled.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked teasingly. I nodded.

"You smell good," I explained, and I heard the rumble of laughter in his chest.

"I do try."

We sat in comfortable silence for awhile. I unsuccessfully attempted to forget about my scene from that morning. One thing seemed to really stick in my mind—that is, now that I had all of the memories on Code Red lockdown—and that was my wondering about Fang. Really, we didn't _actually _know each other all that well. It was obvious there was some sort of connection between us. But still. We hardly knew anything about each other. I looked up at Fang's face. He was watching me with such curiosity that I had to giggle. "What?"

"You're beautiful," he informed me. He took a deep breath through his nose and smiled into my hair. "And you smell good."

I smiled, too, and closed my eyes. "I do try."

"What do you want to ask me?"

My eyes shot open. Holy freaking _psychic. _"What makes you think I want to ask you something?"

He laughed, making a tingle run down my spine. Everything he did was absolutely amazing. Intoxicating. I would never become disinterested with this boy. He was honestly the nicest, most _perfect _person I'd ever met. "Your eyes. And you look like you're thinking very hard about something."

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe I won't ask you."

He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it. "Please?"

I sighed. "Cheater."

"Just ask me."

I thought about what a good question would be. It had to be something that would allow me to get to know him.

"Anytime now," Fang teased. I rolled my eyes and pulled away, sliding across the couch. But I swung my legs up onto his lap, and his hands immediately started massaging my feet. Wow. He was definitely good. I sighed in appreciation.

"What's your favorite color?" I finally asked, and Fang snorted.

"All this time for _that?_" he scoffed.

"Just answer the question," I told him, relaxing into his massage.

He seemed to think for a second. "I guess...black."

I coughed. "That's not very imaginative, Mr. Emo Guy."

"Oh, yeah? What's yours?"

I immediately felt my face color, and I tried to hide it. Thoughts of Fang's eyes filled my head. That perfect onyx color that seemed so hard and unfeeling sometimes but that could melt my will into butter if he let them betray what he was really feeling. "Um...okay. I guess _that _doesn't mean you're emo."

"Brown's pretty nice, too, though, if you're wondering," he mused, and I looked up at him in surprise. He gently took a few strands of my hair and twirled it around his finger. "Yeah. Brown's my new favorite color." He glanced at my face and smirked. "You blush a lot."

"I know," I replied, ducking my head. My hair fell out of his hand. "Your turn to ask a question."

He was silent for a moment. I relished the quiet. It was so nice to be able to enjoy the silence between us, as opposed to feeling awkward whenever one of us wasn't saying something. It was a different feeling. Pleasant, though. I liked it.

"What's your favorite song?" he inquired. Great. Leave it to the Singing Master to ask a question about music. Anyway, for a while it'd been _Kryptonite _by Three Doors Down...catchy, upbeat. Then I'd become a Eminem addict, starting with the song _Love the Way You Lie. _Cliched, yes, but it helped me through some tough shit. The song that actually helped me after the—uh-_breakup _was a lesser-known song called _Circles _by Hollywood Undead. I'd thrown myself into that fandom a little too much, but the song was absolutely amazing, and it made me cry every time I listened to it. And now, though all of these songs were extremely high on my list, I had to say my favorite song had changed yet again.

"I think you know," I whispered. He grinned.

"I just want to hear you say it," he replied, and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, Fang. _Somewhere Over the Rainbow _is my new favorite song. But just so you know," I added when I saw the smirk on his face, "it was already on my iPod before I heard you sing it. And Iz's version dwarfs yours."

"In more ways than one," Fang muttered, still rubbing my feet. I lightly hit hit arm.

"He wasn't fat," I told him, leaning back and closing my eyes. "He just needed a place to put his big heart."

"True that," Fang agreed, surprisingly. I opened an eye and scrutinized him.

"So what's yours?" I prompted, and he sighed.

"Until very recently, or as of now?" he asked, and I thought for a moment.

"Just for now, I guess," I clarified, and he nodded.

"_Nothing _by Fool's Garden." He smiled at me. "Do you remember?"

Ah, so _that _had been the one he'd sung me to sleep with. I smiled back at him sadly and shook my head. "It was a little late. I was tired. I remember is sounded pretty, though. And...sad." I stopped, remembering. Maybe I did remember it. At least a little. I looked at Fang, who was still smiling like he had an amazing idea. "What?"

"Nothing. Your turn."

"What's your favorite animal?"

We continued on like this for what felt like several minutes, but really it must've been a couple of hours. We learned a lot of things about each other that I don't think either of us would have ever guessed. Fang had a strangely familiar passion for sea life...dolphins and sharks and rays...and I told him that I'd always felt the same way. But I liked everything outdoors, I informed him. Camping was my favorite thing to do in high school, though lately I hadn't had much time for it what with school and summer courses. I didn't tell him about Dylan, but I could tell he knew I was hiding something. Being the great guy he was, he didn't pressure me to tell him anything. He also had an affinity for tacos and hamburgers, while I liked pretty much all food. He'd never tried escargots—which I promptly assured him were horrible—but he claimed that calamari was good. I visibly cringed at that one, so I had to explain how I'd accidentally-on-purpose started a food fight senior year that all started with a flung piece of squid. He laughed. We exchanged stories for awhile, and as a slight tension became obvious, I realized what was coming.

"How many boyfriends have you had?" he finally asked. I immediately fell silent, locking down my barrier with all my might. It didn't feel flimsy, but I knew that it was still weak today. I was sitting with my back against Fang's side, my head leaning on his shoulder. He held one of my hands in his own on his lap, and I pulled it away, sitting on my fingers so I wouldn't curl them into fists this time.

"Just one," I told him, trying not to spit it out. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Just one."

"Not including me?" Fang asked. He sounded a little surprised. My heart fluttered.

"I didn't realize we were serious," I joked weakly, concentrating on keeping my wall up. I would _not _lose control again today. I refused to budge.

"Ouch. That's cold."

I turned and looked at him to make sure he was kidding, but there was a small trace of sadness in his eyes. I threw my arms around him to dispel it. I know, I know. I'm the poet of the century. Just call me Maya Angelou. "You know I'm just kidding."

He wrapped his arms around me in return. "I hoped so. But really? Only one?"

I dropped my arms almost subconsciously, feeling the power behind my wall slowly gain some momentum. "Uh...yeah."

"How did it end?" he asked softly, not letting his arms fall. "Or is that too personal for now?"

"I ended it," I whispered. I looked down at my hands and they were fists. "It was...too much for me. I didn't...know how to cope with someone like him. His name was Dylan," I added softly. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why was I telling him about all this? What would I say next, that my ex was a druggie, an alcoholic, an abusive son of a bitch who beat me within an inch of my life before I finally realized there was something wrong?

"But it wasn't your fault," Fang said matter-of-factly. I looked at him in surprise. "It was something he did, right?"

"Yes." The word was barely within the realm of human hearing. "Yes, it was him."

"I'm sorry," Fang apologized gently, touching my cheek. "It's obviously painful. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I assured him, swallowing, regaining my strength. I coughed. "So...how many girlfriends have you had?" I attempted a grin. "Or boyfriends. Either-or."

He thought for a split second before replying, "Besides you, only one other meaningful _girlfriend._" I laughed at his emphasis, and he grinned at me before sighing. "But she's done with me, and I with her."

"Who broke it off?" I asked, trying to be sensitive. But inside, I was furious. I didn't understand how anyone could possibly have been in love with someone as perfect as Fang and taken him for granted. It was a horrible thought that people like that existed.

"Me," he said simply. I nodded empathetically and silence fell over us once more.

"So..." I tried to sound blasé. "Want to walk around town for a bit?"

"No, Fang!" I gasped for breath through my laughing, which was completely uncontrollable. Sporadic giggles kept exploding from my mouth as Fang held me over his shoulder. "Stop it! Put me _down, _mister! I mean it! I'm not...not kidding! _Stopit! _Really, let go, let me down!"

Ella and Nudge were in hysterics, their hands linked with their boyfriends'. I tried to glare at them, but I just fell into laughter again as Fang tickled my side. Then, seemingly without effort, he swung me behind him and onto his back as I shrieked, gaining dirty looks from passers-by. I gave them apologetic glances, but that didn't seem to do any good. I wrapped my arms around Fang's neck in a vice-like grip, but he didn't seem to mind. He was laughing silently, his entire frame shaking with the suppressed chuckling. I'd shed my cardigan long ago and wrapped it around my waist, but Fang had stolen it and had it over his shoulder where I'd just been. His arms held my legs firmly at his sides so I wouldn't escape.

"Put me down!" I protested, still giggling, which didn't help my seriousness factor in the least.

"Not a chance," he replied, grinning. I heard a couple of shrill squeals from behind me and, when Fang turned, I saw that the other guys had swung their significant others up on their own backs just as easily as _my _guy. God, we were dating a bunch of steroid cases.

We were on one of the many sidewalks in Honolulu, though every once in a while we were forced to retreat to the edge of the street because of construction. Palm trees lined the walk, and they blocked the already almost insignificant cool breeze that wafted through the city. I was sweating like crazy, hence my running around town in a white cami. Ella and Nudge had dressed a little bit more practically, Ella in a cute red, pleated tank top with beige shorts and Nudge in a purple ruffled tank with denim capris. They were both wearing black flip-flops.

"_Clothes!" _Nudge shrieked, gesturing like a mad woman towards a cluster of designer shops. Cute, obviously fashionable pieces hung on perfect mannequins in the window, and Nudge was straining against Sam's arms to get at them. I looked at him with sudden seriousness.

"Give in now before she takes you _down_, pretty boy," I warned him, and he rolled his eyes and dumped Nudge to the ground. She squealed and started running across the street, her boyfriend close behind.

"Should we follow them?" Iggy asked warily, and I grinned at the slight fear I heard in his voice. I winked and patted Fang, who was already moving to follow my little shopaholic.

"Unless you want her to drag you in there," I confirmed, and he groaned. Ella reassuringly patted his head, giggling.

"I'll make sure it's fun," I heard her whisper, and rolled my eyes. Who were the lovebirds now?

As soon as we entered the shop, Nudge hurried up to us, several salesladies in tow. I sighed deeply, knowing that the torture was about to start. I was about to tell Fang to let me down, but Nudge beat me to it.

"Put her down _now_," she commanded darkly, and he immediately complied, stepping to the side with his hands up in surrender. She then grabbed me by the shoulders and roughly pushed my into the arms of one of the women flanking her. The lady eyed me critically.

"Come," she said simply, and turned on her heel, walking with short, staccato clicks as her Italian pumps hit the hardwood floor. I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Nudge to walk into a shop, fan her credit card, and have a whole team of people ready and willing to do her bidding. I was used to this, but it didn't make me cringe any less each time it happened. I absolutely _detested _shopping. It was too girly, too frilly. I would be comfortable in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt each and every day of my life. There was just one thing holding me back from this dream lifestyle, though.

Nudge.

"Try on these," the woman—whose name was Cynthia, according to her name tag—said, thrusting a pile of strange-looking tops and dresses and pants. I awkwardly grabbed the pile and, after a slight spin from Cynthia, started walking towards the changing rooms. I heard footsteps behind me, and soon Fang was by my side.

"You!" I heard Nudge shout, and Fang turned. "Stay away from her! Sit over there with your guy friends!"

Fang sighed and apologized to me under his breath as he walked away. It was all I could do to nod before I dumped the clothes onto a bench and closed the wimpy fabric curtain that separated me from the rest of the store.

Let the torture begin.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Alright, guys, as promised, here is chapter twelve! You guys got to that review mark amazingly fast, which impressed me to the extreme. Y'all are absolutely amazing, and thank you sooo much for reading and reviewing and actually caring about my writing. You have no idea how much these comments mean to me, because, as you know, I have no life and therefore no _social _life over the weekend...obviously, because I've updated several times over the course of this one, haha. =P**

**Anyway, now, I'd like to give a great big shout-out to the anonymous reviewer _Jess_, because, honestly, I love reviews like yours. They really inspire me to update faster than I normally would and I, like most other people, like to hear good things about my writing. Especially like that. Because I'm an egotist. Also, another thanks to my NEW READER, _TaraxXx_. Welcome to the madness, Tara. Finally, a thanks to my regulars and the newcomers alike: Faxlover101, Raeofmydarkness, Colorful, JealousMindsThinkAlike, [space], Esperanza12, timonycriket (welcome! =D), and . Also, to Sarah, I _did _change the story summary. I felt that I needed a better description. =)**

**And that's about it for now! Thanks again, guys, and I'll update as soon as y'all hit...um...how about eighty reviews? I think that's do-able. Hope you enjoyed, and have a great rest of your Sunday, peace-lovers!**

**-YAY**


	13. Chapter XIII: Movies Based on PMS

**CHAPTER XIII**

***FANG POV***

Boredom. Complete and utter _boredom_. I'd never known any kind of boredom other than this kind of boredom. It sucked. But I endured it. Why? Not for Nudge, certainly. Not for myself, obviously. I suppose it was for Max. But if hanging out with her meant being dragged into various shops by her overzealous friend, I might just have to call it all off. Okay, I wouldn't, I guess. But really. I was so. Fucking. _Bored._

I sighed for the umpteenth time and slouched down in the uncomfortable wooden chair, staring up at the tiled ceiling. Okay, so what number was I on? Fifty...five? Starting over, then. I forced myself to start from the beginning again, counting each tile as it appeared to slide through my line of vision. _Ten, eleven, twelve. _Really, though. Was I being a good boyfriend by doing this? _Twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight. _Maybe I should stage some kind of intervention. Tie Nudge up and stick her in a changing stall for a few days. _Thirty-nine, forty, forty-one. _That would scare her out of shopping. For a while, at least. _Forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine. _But I guess Sam would be a wee bit miffed at that. Ugh. How could he possibly stand that diva? _Sixty-four, sixty-five, sixty-six. _God, did these fucking tiles ever stop? I silently hoped not. But then, this entire one-sided conversation was silent, so...

Suddenly, the Bundle of Unlimited, Shopping-Generated Energy bounced up to me with a grin on her face. I forced myself to smile back at her instead of leaping up and throttling her, screaming all the while. Just picturing it in my head was good enough. For now, anyway.

"We're done!" she announced happily, doing a little spinny thing before landing in Sam's lap. He laughed and hugged her. I tried not to gag.

"Are they still alive?" Iggy asked warily, and I would've laughed if the same thought hadn't crossed my own mind. Nudge jerked her thumb in the direction of the changing rooms, and I ran my fingers through my hair to avoid groaning aloud. Would they be long? I wanted to get the freak _out _of here.

My prayers were answered when Max came slouching out of her partitioned area with several bags in her hands that had designer names written on the sides. Among them were a few I recognized—Versace, Prada, and the like—and even more I'd never heard of. I rolled my eyes but took the stuffed bags from my girl (because that's just the _wonderfully _caring kind of boyfriend I am), and I was rewarded with a small smile. The frustration and outright anger from the hours of waiting melted immediately, and I smiled back at her, stiff joints and boredom forgotten. I would seriously pay to see that smile if I could look at it every day of my life.

"Ready to get out of here?" I whispered in her ear, and she laughed weakly.

"I was ready the moment we stepped through the doors," Max replied, and it was my turn to laugh. As long as she wasn't a Nudge in the making, I would be absolutely, positively fine. But if that girl go the idea we'd be doing this on a regular basis, she had another think coming.

"Never. Again," Iggy said in a scary voice as he massaged Ella's soldiers. He was glaring at Nudge. She just shrugged and curled in closer to Sam, who snuggled her, giving Iggy a dirty look over her head.

"Back off," he warned, before whispering something to Nudge. Whatever it was, it made her perk up considerably. If he told her that we'd be sure to do this again, so help me...

"Let's go!" Max suddenly interjected, cutting off my thoughts. Damn. She must've seen my face. I looked at her with my best innocent expression. Like, _moi? Do something wrong? No, no, no. Fang _never _does anything wrong. _She grinned at me.

"Where?" I asked, already thinking about possible options. There weren't any tours today...and Max probably wouldn't be comfortable going to the beach again today. I still had yet to find out what that was all about, but I'd decided not to push her. If she wanted me to know, she'd probably tell me. Though I did have a fairly plausible suspicion that it had something to do with that ex-boyfriend of hers. Not that I would bring it up. Talking about exes would be awkward without a long, probably sad story that went with it, which I knew I had. But her? Something bad had happened. Something _really _bad. Probably beyond what even her friends knew.

Perceptive, I know.

"Shit!" Nudge exclaimed out of the blue. I looked at her in surprise. She'd jumped out of Sam's lap and was looking out the window. I saw nothing wrong until she added, "My hair! It'll be ruined!"

Ah. Rain. How stupid of me.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Nudge," Sam assured her, and she gave him a murderous look.

"_Fine?_" she screeched. "How the _fuck _will my hair be fine when it's fucking _raining, _you idiot?"

Max immediately came to Sam's defense. "Nudge, calm down! Sam and the guys have been following us around _all day _without a single word of complaint, despite the horrifyingly intense boredom they must've been feeling."

"Hear, hear!" Iggy added enthusiastically, and I elbowed him. Max ignored the outburst.

"I mean," she went on, "it's one thing to..." She suddenly stopped and looked at Nudge sideways. "Oh, crap. Seriously? Now? Come on, Nudge, there's a _tour _tomorrow! You can't like...hold it or something?"

"Have _you _ever been able to do that?" Nudge shot back, looking embarrassed. "I don't think so. In fact, it's probably a biologically impossible thing to do. So why don't you just get off my fucking back, bitch? I'll let you _know _when I want to share something that personal."

Whoa, whoa. Hold the phone. Had I missed something here?

"Um..." I said intelligently, and Max quickly turned to me as if she'd forgotten I was there. Which, come to think of it, she probably had.

"Nothing," she replied, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Let's just head back. Miss Pain-in-the-Ass is just PMS-ing, is all. She'll be fine in about a week."

"Five days!" Nudge wailed, and I had to resist the urge to cover my ears. _Too much information alert! System shutting down..._

"Nudge, relax," Ella told her soothingly, rubbing her back. "We'll take a taxi back to the house and it'll all be good. I'll watch a movie with you, if you want. Just ignore the idiots. That's what I tend to do a lot of the time." She stuck her tongue out at Max. "Most of the time, actually."

Max huffed and rolled her eyes, and I took the opportunity to wrap my arms around her. She relaxed instantly, and I smiled that my embrace had had the intended effect. Despite the fact that I still had about six shopping bags distributed between my hands. I looked around and saw that Ella was already on her phone, calling the cab company.

"This is gonna be one hell of a ride," Iggy muttered.

***MAX POV***

"No, I want to watch _Matrix_," Iggy complained, and I immediately threw a pillow at his head, which he didn't see in time to catch. "Ow! Goddammit, Max! Are you PMS-ing, too, then? What is _up _with all this female stuff?"

"Lay off," Fang told him, and I shot him a grateful glance. The last thing I wanted to do now was get Nudge riled up into another pissy fit. I _knew _I should've paid attention to the symptoms. I guess it's kind of a personal thing, but I knew that when I was about to launch into my...er..._happy time_, I got an intense urge to eat as much chocolate as I could pack into my stomach. And then some. But whenever _Nudge's _time was approaching, it was shop-a-palooza. And not like, "we need to go to Walmart today!" or "let's pick up some books at Target!" I'm talking, "oh, Max, we need to go to Dior to get you some new blah, blah, blah!" or "oh, my God! We need some Versace this-or-that!"

I mean, even more than usual.

"Let's watch _Titanic_," Nudge suggested, and I felt horror fill me. No. _No. _It was one thing to watch _Titanic_ and burst into tears. It was a whole other thing to watch _Titanic_ with a hormonal chick and her protective boyfriend. Nope. No way. Not a chance. None. Zip. Nada. Move on.

"Sounds good," Ella replied quickly, and although the guys looked like they'd rather do anything but, they nodded in resignation and looked at me. I suppressed a groan.

"Do we have to?" I tried hopefully, and I was met with a glare from Nudge. "Fine. Fine, I'll do it."

Nudge cheered and grabbed for the remote to our schmancy plasma screen TV. I rolled my eyes, but she ignored me and quickly bought the movie off of Netflix, settling back into the loveseat with Sam. He wrapped an arm around her torso and she snuggled her head into his shoulder. Ella was in a similar position with Iggy on the other loveseat. Which left the recliner for Fang and I. Greaaat.

Not.

I raised an eyebrow at him as he sat down, gesturing for me to sit on his lap. He obviously didn't mean anything malicious by the gesture, but I had to force myself to swallow the lump that suddenly clogged my throat. I secured the wall and raised my chin to keep my remaining dignity before sitting down next to him. Our legs intertwined slightly, and he seemed okay with the amount of contact we established. I was somewhat comfortable as well. As the movie began and the others tore their attention from my little spectacle to focus on the opening scenes, Fang's hand slowly crept over to mine, and I let him take it. He held it again his chest, kissing it every so often. I smiled and leaned my head against his shoulder. It was nice.

Nudge started sobbing as Jack almost missed the boat, and I rolled my eyes again. But I kept quiet, more for my sake than for hers. Sam tried to comfort her by rubbing her shoulders and whispering in her ear, and her choked sobs quieted, though I could still see the tears running down her cheeks. The first time I started choking up was when Jack and Rose were stuck behind the metal gate below deck and Jack dropped the key. Fang wrapped an arm around me and traced relaxing circles on my arm. Little did he know my tears had very little to do with what was happening on-screen. I was remembering the last time I'd seen this movie, without anyone else. Except one.

"_It's okay, Max," Dylan reassured me in whispers, stroking me back as I sat between his legs, facing the screen. The tears were running down my cheeks like waterfalls. "Max, don't cry. It's okay. I'm here. See Jack? That'll be me. I'll always be there. You can trust me."_

_I sniffed and wiped at my nose with my sleeve, then turned to him. "Really?"_

_He nodded and kissed the top of my head. "Really."_

_I smiled through my tears. "I love you."_

"_And I you."_

I was snapped back to present by the sound of Jack telling Rose not to say good-bye. I waited for the tears to spring into action, but nothing came. It was the saddest freaking scene in the entire movie, and I couldn't bring myself to cry. A quick glance over at my friends confirmed that I was the only girl in the room not sobbing. I looked up at Fang, who was watching me cautiously, like he was afraid I'd explode.

"What?" I whispered almost silently, resting my head under his chin. He kissed my hair in appreciation.

"Shouldn't you be tearing up by now?" he asked just as quietly. I shrugged slightly and snuggled closer into his chest. I was no longer watching the movie. This part was too painful for me to watch. I probably really _would _start tearing up if I paid attention now. It was during this scene that Dylan and I had first confessed our love for each other. Cheesy, yes, but also true. And I couldn't bring myself to dredge up memories that would probably lead to more painful ones.

"Not for the reasons you think," I practically mouthed. He didn't say anything, so for a second I assumed he hadn't heard me. Then he gave my hand a little squeeze and kissed it again, and I realized he'd made some sort of connection. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the wonderful smell of Fang so I wouldn't dwell on this fact.

We all sat quietly as the movie ended and Rose cast the pendant into the sea for Jack. The wonderfully sad _Titanic _theme filled the room, but nobody made a move to stop the movie as the credits started up. Suddenly a soft bass voice joined Celine Dion's. I turned to Fang, half in shock, half in elation, and he looked straight at me as he continued singing.

_Love can touch us one time  
>And last for a lifetime<br>And never let go till we're one._

_Love was when I loved you  
>One true time I hold to<br>In my life we'll always go on._

_Near, far, wherever you are  
>I believe that the heart does go on<br>Once more you open the door  
>And you're here in my heart<br>And my heart will go on and on._

_There is some love that will not go away._

_You're here, there's nothing I fear,  
>And I know that my heart will go on<br>We'll stay forever this way  
>You are safe in my heart<br>And my heart will go on and on._

I couldn't even laugh as Nudge burst into tears all over again and Sam scowled at Fang over her head as he rubbed her back. I was too astonished by this impromptu performance that my boyfriend (_eek!_) had just given me. _Me._ I gulped as I realized what scene in my life was about to be played over again. But as I thought about what I was about to say more, I suddenly felt a jolt. Of course. This was _right. _It was at that moment that a huge beam broke out on my face and I embraced Fang with everything I had.

I took a deep breath. It was now or never. Now or never. _Now or never._

Now.

Or.

Never.

I took one more breath before leaning in close to Fang's ear, not bothering to look at his face for his reaction at my hyperventilating. I knew if I saw curiosity or confusion or anything other than sheer adoration, I wouldn't be able to do this. But I guess it wasn't now or never. Not _really. _But this was a perfect opportunity. A stepping stone, if you will. Not that I looked at it that way. Then again...I really cared about this boy. I'd already kissed him, for God's sake, and that was as far as I'd wanted to go with anybody since...what happened.

_So? _the little voice in my head asked me timidly. _Are you going to do it?_

I closed my eyes and, for the third time _ever_, I listened to my Voice.

"I love you, Fang."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know, I _know _it's a cliffie. Actually, I was just planning on making this whole chappie a filler, but decided that if I was going to bring up the memory thing again _and _have them watch _Titanic_ (the song is called "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion, just in case any of y'all care...great song _and movie, _by the way), I might as well make Max go the whole nine yards. Updates will take place...when I reach 100 reviews. Speaking of reviews, you guys are freaking _amazing. _I never thought I'd get this many reviews on a story of mine I started writing in my spare time after a sudden inspiration from a Hollywood Undead song, haha. So here's a shout-out to _, Brooke, brooke _(I don't know if you're the same person...sorry, haha),_ Colorful, Esperanza12, AC, [space], Jess, JealousMindsThinkAlike, Jess, TaraxXx, maxride17, Raeofmydarkness, Nimbus2000, bakiss13, and bluegreypurple. _You rock, guys!**

**I'd like to address the formatting issues that I've been having lately...I _think _all the fashion links on my profile are working now, thanks to a helpful tip from one of you reviewers, so thank you. You know who you are. Also, apparently FanFiction(dot)net is having difficulties with _keeping my freaking formatting—_AKA line breaks and such. This is not only an inconvenience to me, but it's probably a turn-off for a lot of readers, because some of you probably think that I just randomly change scenes. I apologize, and I'll do my best to fix this issue ASAP. Also, I know there are some grammatical errors in previous chapters (AKA "my" instead of "me"), and that's just from my fast typing and rushes to update. I apologize, again, and I'll attempt to fix this as quickly as humanly possible. Um...I think that's everything for now. If you guys see something wrong with links or grammar or just basic layout stuff in any of my chapters or my profile, please, _please _either PM me or review. I read them all. Ooh, and _bluegreypurple_? Please stop raping the "Review" button. ;)**

**Thanks again, and I'll post a super-amazing chappie for you guys if you can come around with a century of reviews, haha. Have a great Tuesday, peace-lovers! =D**

**-YAY**


	14. Chapter XIV: Miscommunications

**CHAPTER XIV**

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my _God. _Had I really just said that? Honestly? Was I turning into a fucking _masochist? _Hadn't I suffered enough pain—both physical and emotional—for one lifetime? Did I think that a new rejection would somehow make it all go away?

Because it _was _a rejection, of that much I was sure. Any hope that he hadn't heard me or dismissed it as insanity were gone the moment Fang stiffened and froze, unmoving as a rock. But despite the rush of numbness that spread through me like a wildfire through a dry forest, I still felt the pain. It was like hitting withdrawal after a high. And I hated it. I _hated _it. And I hated _him _for making me feel this way...both ways. I hated him for breaking one of my last remaining shreds that held me together, kept me sane. I hated him.

But I loved him.

All of this passed through my head at light speed, leaving me feeling dizzy and slightly nauseous. I didn't have to worry about my mental wall; the numbness kept it upright for me. But as the numbness faded slowly, I realized that I was still sitting practically in Fang's lap. I jumped up as if electrocuted—though the effect was ruined by my stumble—and fled to my room, already retreating into my mind to escape the numbness and the pain that was sure to follow.

_You did this once before, _my voice whispered. _You can do it again._

I wanted to scream at it. Maybe I did. It was what had gotten me into this God-awful situation in the first place. And I hated it. I hated a lot of things.

When I reached my room, I slammed the door as hard as my screaming muscles would allow...I didn't lock it, though. No. I didn't deserve the privacy. I didn't deserve the pain. I didn't deserve another meaningful relationship. I didn't deserve _Fang._

I felt the tears roll down my cheeks, but there was no crying. I stayed silent through the torture for what felt like eternity, huddled in a small, quiet ball of wallowing, but I wasn't actually sure how long it really was because I'd unplugged the digital clock and thrown my watch across the room. So I sat. And I waited. And I saw the silent streams of tears hit the bed beneath where I sat, the depressing sunlight choking their transparency.

I heard the footsteps on the stairs, eventually, and I braced myself for a long speech by Ella and nudge about not giving in, not giving up. I knew that even though there was no way they'd heard me, they'd probably get a general idea. There was more pain than surprise when it was Fang who opened the door.

Coldness seeped through my veins, and soon after followed a heat so strong I had to make sure I wasn't spontaneously combusting. But my skin was cool to to the touch. Even my face. I was in total breakdown mode.

"Max?" Fang asked softly. I looked away from him and rubbed at my cheeks furiously. How dare he? How _dare _he say my name after the suffering he had inflicted upon me, the knife he'd stuck in my chest. His speaking made the pain increase tenfold, like he was twisting the knife just to torture me.

"What?" I asked him coldly, and felt a small amount of smug satisfaction at the strength in my voice that I didn't really feel. My tone made him hesitate, and I couldn't help but add just as coldly, "What the fuck could you possibly want?"

He shifted his weight, and a chunk of hair fell across part of his eyes.

I hated the fact that it made my heart flutter.

"You didn't give me a chance to answer you."

"Your reaction was enough," I immediately retorted, feeling my repressed hatred bubble up from within me. I'd heard enough apologies in my life. I wouldn't be brought down by this one. I wouldn't. I couldn't. It wasn't affordable.

"I was surprised," he replied patiently. He rolled his neck and ran his fingers through his hair. He was nervous. Good. "I didn't realize...I mean, I didn't know..."

"Of course you didn't!" I hissed, surprising even myself. Fang's dark eyes widened in shock. I stood from my semi-fetal position and got right up in his face. "I should've known that you never meant anything you said. I should've known that your songs didn't mean a single fucking thing in your mind. I should've known that you were just screwing with me for no apparent fucking _reason_."

I took a deep breath and was about to add more to my dishonorable tirade, but Fang's horrified and infuriated look stopped me.

"Is that what you think?" he said in a deadly calm monotone. I realized suddenly that he was enraged, and I shrank back a little. He didn't notice. "You think that's it? That you mean _nothing _to me? After all I've done to show you how much I care?"

"You don't care!" I yelled at him, and he jumped at the pitch change of the conversation. But I could already feel some of the anger ebbing, a familiar feeling that I despised. At this point, I was trying to convince myself more than him, I think.

"I sang to you!" Fang shouted back. "I carried you back here when you were too tired to walk! I _told _you I care!"

I didn't miss the present tense of the last word of that sentence, but that recognition didn't stop me from making my next comment, the one that really struck me. Probably more than it struck him.

"People lie, Fang!" I screamed, unable to keep my voice from trembling. I was shaking, but not out of anger. I sucked in a breath and felt the fight leave me. Dizziness embraced me, and I quickly sat down on the bed again, despite my instincts screaming at me that there was a man in the room and I shouldn't make myself so vulnerable. But I curled up into a ball as the final blow came to topple my wall, and I cringed at the memories for the second time that day.

"_I love you, Max," he told me earnestly, and I looked into his eyes and saw the raw love in the deep pools of blue. I smiled and let my lips rise to his, to let him know that I felt the same way. We would always belong together._

"_I hate you, you fucking bitch!" he yelled, throwing me to the ground. I whimpered as my head hit the wall, but there was nothing I could do to save myself from the kicks and punches and thrown objects except curl up into a ball like a coward and cry, begging for him to stop._

"_I'll always love you," I reassured him as the tears began to fall. I cradled his head in my lap. "I'll always protect you. I promise. No matter what happens."_

"_Why are you doing this?" I cried, the world skewed and blurry through the wetness in my eyes. He snarled and ignored me, punching me square in the jaw. I fell backwards, feeling my shoulder hit the linoleum flooring hard. I called out to him, but he was long gone, past the person I knew. He was a monster._

"_I love you."_

"_I hate you."_

"_I'll love you forever."_

"_Go die before I kill you myself."_

"_Max?"_

I shivered as I remembered Dylan's gentle hand that always went to my shoulder when he was apologizing. Tears always erupted, he started sobbing. Then he'd put a hand on my shoulder when I went to comfort him, and he'd promise fiercely that he'd never do what he did again. He'd never get drunk, never get high. He'd stop hanging out with his stoner friends. And what happened? He forgot. About him. About his promise. About me.

"Max?"

The fogginess lifted, finally, allowing me to go free. I forced myself to open my eyes, if just a little bit, to see what was happening beyond my horrific recollections. I could practically feel Dylan touching me still, and I hated it. But it couldn't be, could it? It wasn't him. No. _No._

My eyes shot open, and I saw a very concerned-looking Fang leaning over me, a hand on my shoulder, his eyes looking confused and...afraid? It didn't make any sense, but it was the only word I could find to describe what I saw written there. If I was right, he looked very afraid, indeed. He was quiet for a while, and I tried desperately to think of something to say, something that would apologize for my breakdown—actually, make that breakdown_s—_and for my attitude and for making him feel like he might love me when obviously he didn't and for my extreme mental defects and for making him concerned for someone so insignificant to him. I was sorry.

"What did he do to you?" Fang whispered, his voice raw. I knew exactly who he was referring to, but it didn't stop the pain that crashed its way through my system, quickly and efficiently destroying every last ounce of my self control.

"Everything," I murmured back, calmly, still crossing my arms around my legs. I didn't realize that I closed my eyes until I felt a soothing pressure on my head and they opened again suddenly. Fang's hand. Not Dylan. I shut my eyes once more and tried to concentrate on my breathing. "Everything."

"Did he..." Fang paused to gather himself. Or to figure out what he wanted to ask. Either way. "Did he ever...hit you?"

My guard was immediately back in place, now that there was no numbness and no pain. It was just...nothingness. But I still had my sense. I knew that another breakdown would immediately break _me,_ and I would never be able to put the pieces back together. So I had to be strong. I said nothing.

"Max?" he hedged, and I felt a slight pang of annoyance.

"Why would you ask that?" I croaked, my throat feeling raw. A small tug of curiosity made me wonder what—if anything—I had said while I was out of it. Because obviously I'd done more than just whimper, if he was catching on so fast. Fang hesitated. "Tell me."

He sighed. "You said, 'why are you doing this?'" His voice broke, and he had to clear his throat before continuing. "And then you said, 'I hate you. Go...'" I peeked up at him, and he had a pained expression on, like he didn't want to finish. _Go die._

"I know," I told him weakly. My voice hitched. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Fang."

He looked down at me in wonder, amazement, and concern. "Why should you be sorry?" He laughed once without humor. "I'm the one who's obviously been setting these things off. I don't know what that asshole did to you, Max, but he's not me and I'm not him. Okay? I _do _care about you. I—"

I covered my ears. I didn't need these lies. My meltdown had not changed my judgment. I knew that he didn't reciprocate my feelings. It was because of this that I was genuinely shocked that his hands gently removed my hands from my ears. I forced myself to uncurl, and I managed—somehow—to sit upright. He cautiously sat down next to me. I didn't have the energy to scoot over, so I let him. And I let him put his arms around me. And I let myself put my head against his chest.

"I love you, Max," Fang promised, with such sincerity that I couldn't even remotely compare it to Dylan's pitiful claims. "I do. I'm sorry I waited this long. I could've avoided this whole mess. It's just...I wasn't sure what you thought. I didn't know if you felt the same way. And I didn't want to freak you out." His voice sounded a minute amount brighter, like he was smiling. "And besides. We've only known each other for a few days. I guess true love does exist."

Despite my feeling miserable, I couldn't help but let one corner of my mouth quirk up in a smile, both at his confession and at the cheesiness of his statement. "Yeah."

"We don't have to talk about it," Fang murmured into my hair. I nodded.

"I'll tell you about it," I whispered back, trying not to choke on the words. "Sometime."

Fang breathed. "Whenever you're okay with it. Whenever you're ready. I don't want to push you."

My arms were still curled up in front of my body, my fingers intertwining over my chest. I poked his arm. "I think you'll know when you push me. The shit'll hit the fan again."

I smiled genuinely as I felt rather than heard the rumble of laughter emanating from his chest. His arms tightened a little bit, but they were far from constricting. They were actually quite comforting, and I found myself glad that he'd embraced me like he did.

"Guess so," he finally said. We sat in silence until I heard the faint voice of Ella asking if anyone knew where Fang and I were. I sighed.

"We should be getting back down there," I breathed. Fang nodded slowly.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked. My smile grew a little at the concern in his voice. I really loved him. I did. How could I have been so stupid as to think that he didn't love me back? Of course he did. I could trust him. I _would _trust him. I breathed out, feeling my chest relieve itself of an unknown burden. I stood and grabbed Fang's hand, half to steady myself and half because I wanted him to know that he was mine.

"Yes," I told him, and we walked downstairs.

***FANG POV***

I felt Max's hand in mine as we walked down the stairs. I couldn't believe this. I loved her. And _she _loved _me. _This was absolute madness. I seriously had no idea how to deal with this. She was the most beautiful girl in the entire world. I couldn't find one flaw in her. Except...

I had to cough to keep from spitting as I thought of the miserable bastard who'd messed her up so bad. I didn't know who he was or what exactly he'd done, but I knew enough to know that whatever it was, he was one sick son of a bitch. And he'd hurt Max horribly. Beyond what even I could see. I hated him, I realized as I walked and felt the fury build up inside me. How could he have hurt someone so sweet, so willing to accept someone into her life? I knew with almost perfect certainty that this hadn't been a one-time thing. They'd known each other—or been together—for awhile. That much was clear. Could this be the one boyfriend she'd ever had?

Max and I reached the bottom of the stairs, and she gave me a quick smile and a hand brush across the cheek, leaving sparks and warmth in its wake, before bounding over to her friends and pulling them into the kitchen, presumably to talk about what had just happened. I smiled back, a little too late, before my thoughts returned to That Bastard Who'd Hurt Max. Except I didn't have to think of any more clever nicknames, because I already knew his name, thanks to Max, my poor baby.

_If you ever try to hurt Max again, Dylan, _I thought, _I _will _kill you. And I know she won't try and stop me._

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So there's your happy sort-of ending. No, don't panic! This story is _far _from over...I honestly plan on making it at least fifty chapters, if not more. I just meant that Max and Fang have patched things up. I know it was kind of fast, but I really have to start moving this story along. Besides, it's not like they're engaged or anything...yet. Dun dun dun! Haha, no, I'm just kidding. If I _do _decide to do something like that, it'll be much, much later. In the meantime, I'd like to give a huge shout-out to my dedicated and loyal fans _who actually reviewed, _among them Esperanza, Nimbus2000, Alyssa, Colorful, BGP (who _really _needs to cool it with the randomness, haha), Faxlover101, Rae, JMTA, and Tara. Sorry about the abbreviations, guys, but this author's note is long enough. =/**

**Um...oh, yeah! Yang and I recently started up a journal on Live Journal, so all update information, etc. can be found there. Link's on my profile. Bookmark it, people! These things are important! The first post is just a welcome post, but the second is a view of the banner Yang and I created for this story. Considering it's only our first one _ever_, I think it's pretty ninja (oh, yeah. I just said that.). If any of you faithful reviewers actually have _talent _with online banner-making, _pleaaaase _help give this story a face and send me the link via review or PM. We'd really appreciate it...and it would reinforce your fandom, haha.**

**I'll update ASAP, but the more reviews I get, the faster I'll be. I think I'm looking at a minimum of 115, but we'll see. Anyway, have a great Wednesday...the week is half over, my darling peace-lovers! =D**

**-YAY**


	15. Chapter XV: Makeup and Preparation

**CHAPTER XV**

***MAX POV***

I breathed deeply, inhaling the familiar scent of my pillow. It smelled like...fabric softener. Fresh linen. And I could sense the faint aroma of my tropical-scented Suave shampoo. Slightly fruity, with a hint of citrus and bamboo extract. I turned in the bed without opening my eyes, unwilling to get up. But my face was met with a slightly plush—though extremely shocking—wall, and my eyes flew open in surprise, my torso jerking upright of its own accord.

A couch?

As I took in the slightly familiar surroundings that were bathed in the soft shine of dawn sunlight, I remembered that I was still in Hawaii, my pillow from home laid on the couch for me. I smiled softly to myself as I remembered watching movies with Fang and the others into the night.

_Must've fallen asleep, _I thought, feeling a warming in my heart at the thought of falling asleep on Fang's shoulder. That sounded really nice. Too bad I couldn't remember. In fact, I couldn't even remember what movies we'd watched after Max's Second Episode of the day. I blushed as I remembered what I'd said...what _he'd _said. And then what Ella and Nudge had said—or rather, _squealed_, as in freaking _pigs—_when I told them.

I got off the couch and watched the comfy white afghan that someone—probably Fang—had put over me. Sighing at the thought, I leaned over, picked it up, and folded it neatly, placing it back on the couch. I would return it later.

The morning was still early, so I went into the kitchen and made myself up a cup of coffee with my schmancy coffee maker. As I sipped at the steaming hot liquid, I closed my eyes and tried to remember exactly what had happened the night before. It had to have been pleasant. And I _did _remember most of it. But after a couple of movies, I'd gotten tired. And a tired Max is not a happy Max...or even an understandable one, at least in speech. I remembered cuddling up into Fang's side as we watched _Matrix—_Iggy's choice, of course—and getting tired by the time we bought and started up _Eagle Eye._ Maybe I'd fallen asleep around there.

"Max!" Nudge's sleepy-excited voice broke me out of my reverie, and I looked up a little too late to find my bouncing little bundle of talkative energy leaping at me, pulling me into a hug. I almost spit my coffee all over her.

By accident, of course.

"Oh, my God!" Nudge exclaimed, sitting down on the kitchen counter. She was practically bouncing with suppressed happiness...well, okay. Not quite so suppressed. "Guess what? Fang thinks you're adorable. Like, he seriously said that. After you fell asleep and all? Iggy made some comment about you being clingy 'cause you fell asleep holding his arm and stuff...though you guys were really kind of—er—intertwined. Anyway, so then Fang said something really sweet, like all cute and lovey, and Iggy pretended to gag because he's _Iggy. _And then we decided to start another movie even though you were asleep and you whispered something halfway through it and it made Fang smile, but he wouldn't tell us what you said." She paused for a moment to breathe, and then proceeded to look me right in the eye. I cocked an eyebrow. "Do _you _know what you said?"

I thought, then shook my head, feeling my face heat up. "No idea. You sure he didn't tell you?" _I'll have to ask him later, _I added in my head.

"Nope." Nudge popped the "p." Then she walked over to the fridge for something to eat. "But it must've been something really nice. He is really, _seriously _into you, Max. Like, it's on the verge of obsession. Except it's not, obviously, because _love _isn't obsession."

I laughed at her Nudge-like logic and finished up my coffee, throwing the leftover cup into the recycling bin. "Okay. Hey, are you gonna go all bitchy again today? 'Cause I think I might need a heads-up this time."

She rolled her eyes. "PMS is _gone_, honey." Then she grimaced. "I'm on Advil right now. The cramps will get worse later, but for now I guess I'm okay."

I nodded in understanding just as Ella walked into the kitchen. She was dragging her feet, and as she stumbled sleepily over to my coffee machine, she yawned. I smirked at her. And she complained _I_ was a caffeine addict. Then I sighed.

"So I guess the tour's out," I remarked glumly.

"Guess so," Ella replied drowsily, pouring the coffee down her throat and slamming the empty cup onto the counter like she'd just taken a shot. It wasn't more than a couple seconds before the cup was back in the machine, filling up again. She seemed to awaken with a jolt. "Wait, why?"

"Nudge," I said simply, and Ella sighed deeply.

"Figures." She downed her second coffee, and I figured now was a good time to refill my own. As I got up, Ella added, "So what are we going to do instead? Go to the beach?"

I winced, and Nudge coughed.

"I can't wear a swimsuit," Nudge informed Ella, who rolled her eyes.

"Of course not."

"We could call the guys," I suggested quickly, to avoid a squabble. They both looked at me with wary and slightly amused expressions. "What? Just an idea. We could go out to breakfast or something, maybe come back here to watch a movie..."

"Ugh, I'm so sick of movies," Ella complained. I glared at her, and she put her hands up in the air, her right still holding the empty cup. "Just saying. I think we watched every one ever made last night...and I don't want to have to deal with another fight over what to buy." She sat down at the table and frowned. "Plus, we're going _way _over budget with our expenses, guys. I mean, what with Nudge's shopping spree yesterday and all of those movies, we're _way _in the hole."

"We're not taking the clothes back!" Nudge interjected. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course not," I told her sweetly. "No one would _dare _take away your precious clothes. Because you would rip that person's head off, you over-controlling fashion freak."

Nudge opened her mouth to protest, when I felt a vibration from my back pocket. My hand immediately sought out my phone, and I saw that I had an incoming call from Fang. Grinning, I held up my index finger in a "wait" motion, forcing Nudge to hold her peace, if just for a little while. She scowled when I hit the "accept" button.

"Hey-y," I greeted, walking out of the kitchen and heading for the stairs. A happy feeling filled me when I heard my boyfriend's familiar laugh, only slightly changed over the line. His laugh would never _not _make me feel happy.

"Glad to hear you're up," Fang commented. I smiled.

"That I am. And so are you." He laughed at my pathetic attempt at conversation. I was nearly at the top of the stairs.

"So what were you girls planning on doing today?" he asked just as I reached my room.

"Hey, I wasn't done talking to you about waking up yet," I said playfully as I closed the door and laid down on the bed, letting my legs hang over the edge. I swung them and grinned at the adolescent gesture.

"What's to tell?"

"Well, more like sleeping," I corrected lamely. "Or...about sleeping. Anyway. Nudge said that I fell asleep after a couple of movies, and I said something in my sleep. And then you wouldn't tell anyone what I said." Silence. "Thing is," I continued, "I can't remember what I was dreaming about. So I have no idea what I said. And I was just kind of wondering...you know...what I said."

"It was cute," Fang informed me, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "That's all you need to know."

"_Fang_," I complained, rolling my eyes. "Just tell me."

"No."

"Come on!" I protested. "That's not fair! Just _tell me. _I was the one who said it in the first place!"

"Then you should know what you said," Fang teased. I frowned. Was that true? I quickly scanned through my recollections, but I had no memory of any sort of dream, let alone of anything I might've mentioned out loud. It probably had something to do with Fang. He'd called it _cute, _for God's sake.

"I can't remember," I reported honestly, and he laughed _again. _Geez, the guy was going to suffer from a chuckle-induced spasm if he kept this up. Irritated, I added, "And it doesn't help that my own _boyfriend _won't tell me."

"Well, get used to disappointment," Fang replied, trying and failing to hide his guffawing. I groaned.

"Not fair," I complained, kicking my legs in frustration. Ugh. I was such a little kid. Of course it wasn't fair. _Life _wasn't fair. I felt myself suppressing a giggle at that. Maybe I was PMS-ing, too. Then again, I'd been able to resist a chocolate mocha earlier. So maybe it was just fatigue.

"You're cute when you whine," Fang remarked. Despite his joking tone, I felt a blush heat my cheeks. God, what _was _it about him? But before I could retort with something clever and witty, he said, "But that's not why I called. I was remembering our conversation yesterday..."

I stiffened immediately. "And?"

"It's not what you think," he assured me quickly. Not that I really knew what exactly it _was _that I was thinking. "I just..." I imagined him running his fingers through his hair. "I don't know. I...well, you said something about how we don't really know each other all that well. And you're right. It's only been a few days since we met. So I was thinking if, maybe, you might want to...go out?"

Okay, this was _so _notthe way I thought this conversation would turn. "Out?"

"Yeah. Like, _out _out. A real date. Not a double—er, triple date. Not a luau or a walk down the beach. I was thinking dinner...and a play, if you like that kind of stuff. What do you think?"

"Just us?" For some inexplicable reason, happiness coursed through me at just these two words. We'd been alone together before, of course. A number of times. Behind the stage after the luau, sitting on the couch and playing twenty questions...and then that fight. But none of those really qualified as date material.

"Uh...yeah." Fang sounded...anxious. Not exactly uncomfortable, like he'd rather be doing something else. No. He wasn't embarrassed or ashamed. He was more cautious. Careful. And even a little bit nervous, maybe? I mentally slapped myself. I needed to stop this stupid profile stuff. It'd become a habit soon after I'd realized that it was a necessity: to analyze someone's emotions and future behavior based on his tone. This adopted skill had saved my life countless times. Simply, it was the difference between closing and locking my bedroom door to wait out the sure to follow rampage, and leaving my room to comfort and tend to my withdrawal-suffering then-boyfriend.

"That sounds nice." I tried to put my thoughts behind me, and attempted a cheerful tone. It was a little weak.

Fang breathed. "Really?"

"Really." I allowed a small smile. "Today?"

"If you want. Are you a fan of plays?"

I recoiled at the thought of sitting in a dark, crowded room, watching unrealistically portrayed characters dance around onstage. Shuddering, I replied, "Um...not especially."

"Good," Fang surprised me by saying, giving a nervous laugh. It was adorable. "I can't say I'm much of a fan myself. Sitting in the dark with a bunch of quiet strangers sitting around me doesn't appeal to my claustrophobic self."

"Me, neither." I sighed and took my phone away from my ear for a moment as I heard a buzz. A text. "Hang on a sec."

"Take as long as you want, Angel."

My smile widened. I loved him. _So _much. Sighing, I checked my text inbox, frowning when I saw the contents.

**Nudge: _hurry up so u can come back down here & frickin DISH, girl._**

"Just a text," I informed Fang, ignoring the message. "It was Nudge. She wants to know what's going on." I laughed freely. It felt good. "She probably thinks something bad is happening. I hardly ever leave the room to take a call."

"I must be special, then." I could hear the cocky smirk in his voice, but decided just this once to humor him.

"I'm not in the mood for tackling people today," I couldn't resist saying. "So don't let your ego get too big. What time do you want to meet me? And where?"

"I could pick you up around seven," Fang suggested, and I didn't miss the first part. Wow. I'd never gone on a date with someone where the guy actually picked me up at my house. Or cottage, or whatever. It was just like in the movies. Well, the cheesy romance movies, but still.

"Sounds good," I agreed, just as my phone buzzed again. "Ew. Nudge again."

"I'll let you get back to your friends," Fang said. "Iggy's been making stupid faces at me for this entire conversation, so I feel your pain."

His friends had been there for "this entire conversation"? I suddenly felt embarrassed. It seemed kind of like an invasion of privacy. I didn't like the feeling. "Um...I'm not on speakerphone or anything, am I?"

"I'm not _that _evil."

I smiled. "Mm-kay. See ya later, Fang."

"I'll be counting the seconds, angel."

I blushed as I hung up, quickly scrolling through the _several _texts that Nudge had sent me in a matter of three or so seconds. I rolled my eyes. That girl was insane. I couldn't have a few minutes to myself? Glancing at the clock, I confirmed with myself that it had only been about fifteen minutes. Good _God._

"_Max!" _Nudge yelled up the stairs. "Get _down _here!"

Alright. Time to have a little fun.

"I can't!" I called back, opening my door and leaning out. "I have to get ready for my hot date by seven!"

I heard the inevitable squeals and then running footsteps. Grinning, I let my two best (sprinting) friends run into my room, answering as many of their questions as I could comprehend. Ella started talking about make-up and hair and Nudge began babbling about fashion and how "that one dress we got" would look just _fabulous _on me. I closed my eyes and leaned back on my bed, just thinking to myself through the onslaught.

A date. With _Fang._

***FANG POV***

"Dude, you should _seriously _tuck your shirt in," Sam informed me as I walked across the room for the umpteenth time in my anxious pace. I glanced at the silver watch on my wrist. I would head out in a few minutes. I suddenly had a horrible prediction. The car. It probably wouldn't start. It would be broken. The engine would stop running. I'd try to fix it and I'd just end up breaking it more and then I'd be late and Max would think I stood her up and we'd have a fight and...

"Nuh-uh," Iggy argued maturely. "He's not going to a five-star fucking restaurant, idiot. He's going to a cutesy, _romantic _spot." I didn't even stop pacing to glare at him when he wiggled his eyebrows at me, and he sighed. "Chill, man. Max is crazy about you. She's not going to freak out even if you fuck up the night."

That still didn't help the car.

"And she'll love the car," Sam added helpfully. I shot him a grateful glance, not wavering from my frantic walking. Until Iggy stepped in my way.

"Move," I ordered, scowling when I tried to walk around him and he blocked my way. I pushed him out of the way and caught sight of my arms. Oh, God. I should've gone with the long-sleeved shirt. I should've worn the white one. Gray was just so...boring. And the vest? Who the hell was I kidding? I looked like a total nerd. **(AN: Pictures on profile)**

Iggy gripped my shoulders and shook my slightly. "Get your head in the game. Just _relax. _Why are you freaking out so much? You've gone out with girls before."

_Not like Max, _I thought. But I just shrugged at him, glancing at my watch again. It was time. Oh, God. My heart starting beating even faster than it already had been. Pretty soon it would just stop and I would fall to the ground in a heap and Max would think I stood her up and we'd have a fight and break up but it wouldn't matter because I'd be _dead..._

"Go get 'er, tiger," Sam muttered as I passed him, my feet moving of their own accord. His words only comforted me somewhat, until I thought of the one thing that I knew would calm me down, despite my intense irrational fears.

_Impress Max._

***MAX POV***

"No!" Nudge shrieked, quickly covering my eyes with her hands without touching them. I rolled them, which she obviously couldn't see. "I told you not to look, idiot! Can't you just follow orders for once in your life?"

I jumped slightly as my chair was spun around, making a phshhhh sound as it moved on the carpet. Now even if I _did _open my eyes, I would be unable to see my face in the mirror hanging above my bureau. Ugh. Honestly, I loved my friends to death, but sometimes they could be such pains in the ass. I just wanted to _see. _Could they allow that? What was there to gain by not showing me my own face before a date I was already nervous enough for?

"We're almost done," Ella assured me, grabbing a tube of lip gloss and fixing a probably invisible flaw on my lower lip. She then took a pencil of some sort from Nudge's outstretched hand and examined it. "Give me Just _Kissable_. Not Just Kissed. Too dark." When the mistake was corrected, she applied the lip liner with an expert hand as Nudge blushed up my cheeks. Yeah. Like _I _of all people would need blush. Give me a break.

"Hurry up," I urged under my breath, trying not to move my face too much. The last thing I needed was for one of them to mess up. I probably already looked like a clown as it was. God, why was I so jumpy? I could feel my heart in my chest going a mile a minute.

_Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump._

"We still have ten minutes," Nudge muttered, but I had the feeling it was more to herself than Ella or me. This theory was confirmed when she added, "I can do this. I _can _do this."

"You'd better," Ella told her firmly. I groaned.

"I've been sitting in the same position for _hours,_" I protested, stretching my stiff legs as I spoke. I closed my eyes at Nudge's command, and she applied another layer of eye shadow. "Aren't you done yet? Can I see myself now? Or is that too much to ask?"

"Done!" Nudge declared, sounding extremely proud. "Keep your eyes closed. I want this to be a total surprise for you."

I gritted my teeth, but complied. The tension was _killing _me. I seriously wanted to know how they planned to make me look pretty. They'd been working on me for well over three hours, buffing and polishing every last piece of my body. Nudge had even run out and bought me a strapless push-up bra, despite our already being over-budget. Ella had grudgingly allowed it, but only so Nudge wouldn't kill her. There was polish on my fingernails and toenails, though I hadn't looked to check it out. I was wearing a dress that I had yet to see on myself—at least in the mirror—but I had to admit, it was pretty cute. All in all, I was actually curious to see the final effect.

I felt and heard the chair move again, and then there was a rustle of fabric and a pulling on the skirt of my dress as someone straightened it.

"Okay," Ella said simply. I opened my eyes.

And my mouth fell open in shock.

That was _not _me staring back from the mirror. It was a long-lashed beauty with a gorgeous, heart-shaped face. Subtle accents of blush on her cheeks gave the impression of excitement, as did the wideness of her eyes, each perfectly lined with a dark brown, accenting their own chocolate color. Around the liner was a subtle smoky-silver layer of eye shadow. It made the girl look cute and sexy at the same time. Her hair, slightly curled, framed her face and fell over her chest in perfect waves, looked perfect against her light gray dress, ruffling vertically at the waist and falling to just above her knees. White pumps decorated her feet, showing off her silver and white-crackled nail polish. The same colors decorated her fingers. **(AN: Pictures on profile)**

She was beautiful.

I was silent for a few more moments, my jaw still somewhat detached from the rest of my skull. I felt the tension grow in the room until it felt like the air was going to come to a boil. But I couldn't say anything. I was dumbstruck. Completely speechless.

"Do you not like it?" Nudge asked worriedly. She sounded anxious, and I saw her in my peripheral vision, wringing her hands. "The nails might've been a little much. And I suppose we could tone down the eyeliner a little bit, huh, Ella? Just sit down...we have five minutes. We'll make it work..."

"Nudge!" Ella interrupted, and I finally managed to tear my gaze away from the perfection that stared back at me when I looked in the mirror. My friends were both looking at me, and I quickly pulled them both into a giant group hug, a nervous laugh escaping my somewhat calm facade.

"It's perfect!" I exclaimed, and Nudge clapped, beaming with glee. "I _love _you guys!"

"Psh," Ella said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "It was nothing." Then she pulled away from me. "Don't mess up your hair! Look, you're already wrinkling your dress!"

As she straightened it, Nudge briefed me on everything I would need to do to keep myself looking like the goddess I (though it was still nearly impossible to believe that this gorgeous person was _me_) currently was. She handed me a white purse that I could put on my shoulder and it would fall to my waist.

"That has your wallet with your Visa and about twenty dollars in it," she informed me. "Only use them in an emergency. We used a light lip stain under your lip gloss, so no matter what you do, your lips will still be a little pink. But every forty-five minutes or so, go to the bathroom and touch up your gloss. It'll make the color look better and your lips'll be shinier. I made _sure _to use only waterproof eye makeup, but the shadow will still smudge, so don't rub your eyes or anything." She took my elbow and started leading me to the hallway as I attempted to digest everything she was telling me. "Your hair _should _be fine for the whole night because of the product we put in it when it was damp, but I put a small thing of hairspray in your purse just in case you get some extreme flyaways. And if it starts getting flat, ditch the spray and just tease it with your fingers." She quickly demonstrated, and I nodded, feeling out of breath.

"I think I've got it," I started, but was quickly cut off.

"And we put on extra-strength antiperspirant _and _deodorant," Nudge went on. "There's a small stick in your purse just in case you're out for more than a few hours or it gets super-muggy or anything, so just keep that in mind. Um...oh, yeah! Ella chose a gardenia-scented perfume—that's a Hawaiian flower—so that's included in your purse if you need a touch-up. But it was expensive and _toilette, _so it should stay on for the night."

"Is that all?" I asked sarcastically, though inside I was reeling. I had no _idea _being so pretty was so much work.

"I think so." Nudge thought for a moment. "Oh! Your phone is also..."

"In my purse," I finished, rolling my eyes. My beautiful, beautiful eyes. Shit. I sounded like a total egotist. But this was the one night I knew I wouldn't have to worry about looking ugly. Even my usually—uh—_flatter _assets were boosted, thanks to Nudge. Especially compared to models. But I could easily pass as a Miss America contestant right now.

Someone seriously needed to pop my bubble. Like, _now._

The doorbell ringing sounded less ominous than I'd expected, but it still brought a pang of fear to my heart and a knot in my stomach.

"Don't worry about eating small portions," Nudge told me quickly, placing me by my shoulders at the top of the stairs. "Just eat however much you want. He won't care. Just don't smudge your lip gloss when you eat. And _use your knife_, for God's sake."

With those words of advice, she rushed down the stairs and bounded out of sight. I heard the door open, and Nudge say, "She'll be down in a second. Ella's just helping her freshen up."

I rolled my eyes at that. Like the last few hours didn't count for anything.

Ella hand suddenly found my shoulder, and I turned to her. She smiled encouragingly and gave me a gentle push towards the first step. I breathed deeply. My heart rate began to increase again, faster than before.

_Thumpthump. Thumpthump. Thumpthump._

I took a step and, finding that walking in these insanely high heels wasn't quite as hard as it should have been, continued down a little faster. When I got to the steps where I knew I would be visible from the front door, I slowed down slightly, though my heart picked up the pace yet again. It felt like it would pound right out of my chest and leave me with nothing but my panic-stricken mind.

_._

I exhaled. Then I inhaled. Then I exhaled again. I avoided looking at the door until the last moment, where Fang stood, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, his face filled with complete and total admiration and _love._ My heart swelled, forgetting its rapid speed.

"Hey," I greeted, and couldn't help but laugh at the nonchalance that crept into my voice.

"Hey." Fang smiled, and I took the moment to take him in. He was wearing a formal-casual ensemble that consisted of a midarm-sleeved shirt and a vest that allowed me to see his well-toned arms. His pants and shoes matched. Huge plus, at least in someone like Nudge's book.

I leaned forward and placed a brief kiss on his lips, leaving minimal color behind. Fang wrapped me in an embrace. Nudge's jaw tightened slightly at the kiss, I noticed, and I smirked at her over Fang's shoulder. She just scowled.

"Shall we get going?" Fang suggested, holding his arm out the open door, his foot keeping it ajar. I smiled at him and complied. As I slid past Nudge, she hissed in my ear something that sounded like, _"Every thirty minutes."_

Ah. The lip gloss.

I giggled when I felt Fang's arm around my waist, and I resisted the urge to put my head on his shoulder for Nudge's sake. She would _hate _to see my hair get mussed in the slightest way. So I'd humor her. Until we got out of sight, that is.

"So where are we going?" I wondered aloud.

"A little place I know," Fang replied cryptically, giving my a crooked grin. "In the city. You'll like it."

I froze, then looked down at my feet. The _city? Walking? _In _these _torture devices? Fang noticed, and chuckled, holding me a little closer.

"Don't worry," he said, gesturing seemingly randomly out into the fading light. "I brought a different means of transportation. I'm glad I did. I didn't really expect for you to wear shoes like that. You don't seem like the type."

"You don't like them?" I asked quickly, feeling slightly abashed. He shook his head furiously.

"No, no, that's not what I meant. I just...don't take this the wrong way," he added hurriedly. "But, I mean...you look _beautiful. _Not that you don't always. It's different, though. I didn't expect you to wear makeup or anything."

"It's a date," I reminded him, pulling away and linking our arms. I let him lead us to where he had his "other means of transportation." "Ella and Nudge kind of went a little overboard. They like to play dress-up Barbie with me...makeup included."

"It looks nice," he assured me, kissing the top of my head. I smiled at him. Suddenly we stopped walking, and Fang walked forward, opening the door of the car. Very gentlemanly. But that wasn't why my jaw had suddenly dropped...for the _second _time. I recovered quickly and bounced up to the car, giving my boyfriend a quick peck on the lips before sliding into the passenger seat of the fancy, silver, obviously very expensive BMW. He grinned. "You like?"

"It's alright," I replied, raising an eyebrow so he would know I was impressed. He just laughed, gently pushing the door closed before walking around the car. Butterflies—_good _butterflies—filled my stomach.

Let the night begin.

**AN: Okay, I'm sooo sorry I made you guys wait so long for a filler chapter like this! But I'll make it up to you...I swear! I'm already working on the next chapter—which is much better—and I'll try to have it up by the end of the day for y'all. Because you just rock. The reasons for the delay include homework, chores, _snoopy parents, _and the fact that my cousin needs to start checking her e-mail more often. We bounced a lot of stuff off of each other for this chappie. But it's up! So, before I forget, I want to give a _huge _thanks to _Esperanza, DarkAngel, bakiss, Rae, Colorful, BGP, TaraxXx, maxride17, JMTA, Jay, AFINT _(we _loved _your review, by the way. =D), _AC, [space], Annonymous _(it's actually "anonymous," but...), and _maxride17 _again. Your reviews mean so much to us...pleaaase keep it up!**

**Anywho, there's no review line for the next chapter because of my tardiness, but don't think that means I don't want reviews. The more I get today, the faster I'll update tonight. That's my last announcement, I think, so get on with your waiting, haha. =P**

**Have a great Sunday, peace-lovers!**

**-YAY**


	16. Chapter XVI: Our Song

**CHAPTER XVI**

"Okay, we're almost there." Fang glanced at me, and I smiled back nervously. I was still really jittery about the outcome of this date. What if it turned out we didn't have anything in common other than hating crowds and plays? What if he found something out about me that would make him hate me? What if he thought that I was a total diva because I let my friends take over my face with makeup? Oh, Christ, _why _had I let them do that?

"'Kay," I managed, swallowing in a vain attempt to moisten my dry throat. I cleared my throat. "You're not going to make me cover my eyes, are you? I've had enough of that for one night." My laugh seemed fake, even to me. I jumped when something warm touched my hand, but quickly relaxed when I saw it was Fang's own. Calmness flooded through me at the contact.

"Why are you so nervous?" he asked, sounding curious. He shot me a crooked grin. "It's not me, is it? I promise you, I won't _try _to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. But if I do, just let me know. This is supposed to be pleasant for both of us."

I sighed. "I know. Are you going to tell me where we're going? The suspense is killing me."

Okay, so maybe that was a bit of a lie. But sometimes a little white lie is just what you need to keep a conversation going. And away from you...er, me. Whatever. But I guess it wasn't a total lie. I _was _curious as to where we were going. We'd been driving for a good fifteen minutes now, and we were well into the downtown part of Honolulu. Okay, so now I was seriously starting to wonder where we were going.

"Just a little place I've been to," my boyfriend replied cryptically, and I rolled my eyes.

"Are we going to start this again?" I asked sarcastically, and one side of his mouth turned up in a smirk.

"There's the Max I know. I was beginning to think she was lost in the war paint." He grinned at me to let me know he was kidding, but I still felt offended. Nudge and Ella had gone through a lot of trouble to make me look pretty. And now he was dissing me? Who did he think he was? Fang caught sight of my face, and his expression became worried. "Sorry. That was distasteful. You look beautiful, you know. With or without."

"Referring to makeup," I clarified, raising an eyebrow. Really. As if he wasn't just saying that to make me feel better about his little jibe. I knew for a fact I wasn't one of the prettiest girls in the world; my body wasn't perfect by anyone's standards, and my facial features left much to be desired. I'd become good friends with makeup—at least concealer—back in the Dark Days, but I'd quickly dumped it all when I did the same to Dylan. There were only a few special circumstances I'd been coerced into wearing the stuff afterward, and now was one of those times.

"Yes." Fang raised my hands to his mouth and kissed it before gently setting it back in my lap and placing both his hands on the wheel. "We're here."

I looked out the window and was surprised to see that we'd turned off on a tangent, back towards the beach area...Waikiki. There was a building in front of us that looked like all the other buildings scattered around the vicinity. Was this the special place he'd been referring to? It sure didn't seem very special. In fact, it was hardly impressive. I held onto my seat as Fang expertly parallel parked in a designated area at the edge of the street, one which looked _way _too small to fit the BMW. I whistled.

"Nice," I commented, impressed.

"I try," he replied, unfastening his seat belt. I did the same and made to grab the door, but Fang was already out of the car and walking swiftly to my side. As he opened the side door with a flourish, he added, "Allow me." I wanted to roll my eyes, but all I could do was smile at the warm fuzziness that filled me at this little gesture. No guy had ever been this nice to me. _Ever. _Though I suppose I didn't have much to compare it to, this date was looking to be my best ever.

"Thanks." He took my hand and helped me stand up, waiting patiently as I brushed my skirt into place. I looked up at him, and there was a sort of excited, anticipation-riddled shine in his eyes. I smiled uncertainly back at him, unsure of what this sign pointed to. He took my hand and gestured towards the building. We started walking, and he even helped me going over the curb.

Okay, so walking in heels in a house _does not equal _walking in heels on a lumpy sidewalk. Point taken.

"This is it?" I asked when we stepped into the building, and immediately shut my mouth again quickly. _Rude! _Did I want to come off as a self-righteous, spoiled bitch? No, of course not. But I sure must've seemed like one by now. My behavior was horrifying, even to me.

"The restaurant is on the other side of the building," Fang explained, not perturbed or offended in the least. I squeezed his hand slightly as a silent thank you. As in, "Thanks for not thinking I'm an arrogant, stuck up snob who only thinks about herself." Because I wasn't. At least, I tried not to be.

"Okay."

We walked through a hallway that had windows on both sides, looking into stores. Most of the glass panes were covered with signs and posters that advertised "sales" and "hot deals" and "new fashions at affordable prices." I rolled my eyes when I saw a Victoria's Secret "PINK" poster, laden with half-naked women in intimate and suggestive poses. Glancing at Fang, I realized he either hadn't noticed, or he really didn't care. Major points, especially if it was the latter.

When we emerged on the other side, I immediately saw our destination. I mean, how could I _not_, what with the colorful lights decorating its thatched roof? It was a lot like the other restaurant we'd gone to back on the beach that first day, except much bigger and much more impressive. There were more tropical plants, and the servers were all wearing cute shirts that managed to look tourist-y and traditional Hawaiian both at once. Overall, it was pretty impressive. Much better than the shabby building we'd just exited, where I'd thought we would be eating.

"Better?" Fang asked, and I heard just a tiny bit of anxiety in his tone. I turned to him and put my forearms on his shoulders, getting on my tiptoes so I could press my lips to his. He immediately responded, placing his hands on my waist. I pulled away gently.

"Definitely," I told him breathlessly, and he smiled before guiding me toward the entrance, his hand placed lightly on the small of my back. I let him.

When we approached the hostess standing at a carved wooden podium-type thing, Fang stated simply, "Table for two, please. Preferably on the walk." I had no idea what or where "the walk" was, but it sounded fancy. And I swear to _God _as Brigid—the hostess, according to her name tag—grabbed our menus and started forward, she eyed Fang up. _In front of me. _It was like she was pretending I wasn't even there. Or, if I _was _present in her delusional little fantasy, I wasn't any sort of competition.

I huffed almost inaudibly, and Fang noticed. He glanced over at me, questioningly, before following Brigid to our table. She walked us out back onto a porch-type thing up on stilts, extended slightly over the ocean and almost entirely over a stretch of the Waikiki Beach. There were a couple of Japanese paper lanterns hung up on the drygrass overhang. They were pretty, and added nicely to the ambiance. We were given our menus and the specials, and I half expected her to wink at _my boyfriend_ as she left, but, unfortunately, it looked like she didn't want to commit rash suicide tonight.

What a shame.

"This place is really nice," I commented, and Fang's eyes met mine across the table. He smiled as he opened his menu and started scanning the dishes. I followed his lead, though I could hardly focus on the food when the nicest, cutest, most _amazing _guy ever was sitting across from me. On a date. A freaking _date. _"Really," I told him. "It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like," was the reply, and his foot tapped mine under the table. I sighed as I realized this was not the time nor the place to start World War III via footsie, and Fang smirked at me when he realized what I was thinking. "Just order before you get us kicked out."

I stuck my tongue out maturely but did as he suggested, my eyes wandering randomly over to the burger section. Mmm. I loved burgers. But this was a dinner date, so that probably wouldn't fly. I grinned internally at what Nudge would think about my ordering ribs, imagining the total freak-out. Messy hand-foods were definitely out. But steak? That could be mess-free, couldn't it? I smiled when I saw the "Prime Top Sirloin." Then I saw the price. Holy _crap._

"I'm probably going to have the New York steak," Fang stated, putting his menu off to the side. I felt his gaze on me, but I was staring at the price next to _his _choice. It was six dollars more than even _mine. _"You can order what you want, you know. I've got Visa."

I swallowed, but forced myself to ask meekly, "Would you mind if I ordered a steak, too?"

I don't know what I expected to hear, but it sure wasn't, "Like I said, what you want. Which kind?"

Well, if he was alright with it.

I told him my order and he nodded, not looking overwhelmed in the least. My muscles relaxed immediately, though I wasn't sure why they were tensed in the first place. Was I afraid that he would say I wasn't allowed to order what I wanted? That was stupid. Nobody freaked out because someone couldn't afford to buy her an expensive dinner. The idea was ridiculous. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

_Just forget it, _I told myself. _This is a date. You and Fang. Focus on that._

So I did. A waiter came buy and identified himself as Jason before pouring us some lemon water. I breathed a silent sigh of relief that Brigid wouldn't be our server. I really didn't want to have to tackle anyone tonight...my muscles would most definitely be sore. I internally rolled my eyes. There I went again, being a possessive idiot. God, I needed to cool it before Fang noticed.

"I think we've decided," I said to Jason before he could leave. I looked at Fang, but he gestured at me to continue. Jason had his notebook out. "I...guess I'll have a Sprite. And one of these prime top sirloins."

I was almost hoping he'd say they were out of prime top sirloins and they only had food items under ten dollars, but Server Guy just smiled and wrote it down. Fang gave his order, too, asking for a Diet Coke. Jason clicked his pen and flipped the notebook closed, promising in his surfer dude dialect that he'd be back soon with the drinks. As soon as he disappeared, I smiled at Fang, reaching across the table with my hand. He took it easily.

"I really like this place," I murmured to no one in particular, looking around. The atmosphere was quiet and peaceful; there weren't many people here at this time of day...or evening. I wondered why. It certainly seemed like the perfect time to eat dinner. One look at the sky gave me my answer. "Ooh, rain."

"What's 'ew'?" Fang asked me, and I looked at him in surprise.

"I didn't say 'ew'," I replied, pulling my arm back. I looked up at the sky. "I said 'ooh'. I love the rain. It's nice and peaceful."

Fang grimaced. "But it soaks you to the bone," he pointed out. "And then you get a chill and then a cold and then you catch pneumonia and die. I don't like it. I'd rather be in the sun all the time, without any rain."

"But without rain, we'd all die," I argued. For some God forsaken reason, I was defending freaking _rain. _But...it did have a special place in my heart. It kind of saved me. Dylan hated the rain. He'd never come over when there was anything falling from the sky. So whenever there was precipitation in those days, I was able to tell myself that I would be safe for another day. But that's not what I told Fang. Instead, I pointed out something obvious. "I mean, it helps things grow. Without it, everything would be dry and dusty. There'd be no plants, no flowers. The ocean would eventually disappear. And what would be left of your sunny paradise?"

Fang looked taken aback. "Where did all this come from?"

"Dunno," I said quickly, shrugging and ducking my head. "I just...I like the rain."

My date was quiet for awhile, possibly taking in what I said, but even more likely dismissing it. So I was genuinely and pleasantly surprised when he nodded slowly and stated, "Yeah. I guess when you put it that way...the rain is nice." He smiled his breathtaking smile.

I beamed back at him. "It really is. And being wet isn't too bad, either."

We went on like that, talking about the rain and the weather (we laughed at the cliché in that) and other interests that we hadn't already known about. Fang described his most embarrassing high school moment, and I had to put my head down on the table and muffle my mouth with my arm to keep from laughing the restaurant down. In return, I had to tell Fang about the most embarrassing moment I'd ever had, including post-high school. I mentally opted out of telling the truth of Dylan—kind of a reflex at this point—and kept it light, instead. First dates were meant to be special, but were definitely _not _for depressing therapy sessions.

Finally, the food arrived, and Fang and I started picking at our respective dishes, disappointed that the conversation was coming to an end for the moment. I remembered Nudge's advice about using a knife, and I complied. I even held it the right way. When I was about halfway through my steak, I realized that there was noise in the background that I hadn't noticed before. I recognized the song playing: _Lemon Tree _by Fool's Garden. The lyrics were simple and cutesy, and I had to giggle a little. Fang grinned at me.

"You know this song?" he asked casually, and I nodded furiously.

"It used to be my mom's favorite," I admitted. "She went on a bit of a Fool's Garden kick for a bit...and so did my little sister. Then I got hooked on them. They're nice. Not too heavy. But they've got meaning in them."

"I like the band, too." There was a moment of silence, and I felt my face heat up as I realized he was hinting at the song he'd sung me to sleep with. What had it been again? I was about to ask him, but he added, "I didn't know you have a sister. How old is she?"

I sighed and started describing Angel to him. Our food lay forgotten in front of us, except for once when we reached down to eat, and then fell back into conversation, pushing the plates off to the sides and leaning forward, elbows on the table. Fang seemed intent on remembering everything I told him, and he listened with rapt attention to every word. When I was done with my descriptions, I asked him if he had any siblings of his own. He shook his head.

"Nah. I'm an only child." His eyes became unfocused for a moment, before he snapped back to the present. "But Iggy has a brother."

"Really?" I asked, startled. Iggy didn't seem like the brother-type. "Older or younger?"

"Younger." Fang snorted. "But you wouldn't know it. They act about the same age."

"I'm guessing Iggy's age is brought down in that assessment?" I clarified, and Fang shrugged.

"Depends," he said, looking up slightly. "I guess, since Zephyr is about sixteen, that you could say Iggy's level has been brought _up. _Considering this is Iggy we're talking about. But seriously. They're one and the same. And they have a strange affinity for making explosive devices."

"Fireworks and stuff?"

Fang paused. "Yeah. Something like that. Anyway, Gazzy's really the..."

Okay, hold the phone. "Who's Gazzy? Another brother?"

"No, that's his nickname," he explained, and I tried to pretend I understood. I nodded. Fang didn't buy it. "I'll explain it to you sometime. But he really hates it when people call him Zephyr, because he hates that name. Personally, I think it's pretty cool...but that's just me."

As we talked, another song had taken the place of the earlier one. It sounded like it was the same band, but it was a song I didn't recognize. Something about heartbreak. I rolled my eyes, not at the irony, but at the unoriginality of the tone. Whiny. Complaining. Ugh. The world could do without more songs like these.

"This is Fool's Garden, too," Fang said, obviously noticing my preoccupation. He frowned slightly. "Not one of my favorites."

I made an "ew" face. "Me, neither. They must be playing the album or something."

Fang shook his head. "I have this album. _Lemon Tree _isn't on it. I wonder..."

I laughed as his words lined up with the lyrics of the song. He was awesome. First, he was all gentlemanly and kind and just so wonderfully nice it tugged at my heartstrings. Then, he treated me to my _insanely expensive _dinner. Now, he was quoting song lyrics at me. Romantic? Yes. Cute? Yes. Perfect?

_Yes._

I picked randomly at some of my leftover food and took a dainty sip of my Sprite. It was refreshing...but it sent a shiver down my spine. The sudden chill made me realize that it was getting cold outside. Not freezing, obviously, but colder than I was used to. It was probably about sixty degrees out. And the moist air didn't help.

"You're cold." Fang was watching me. I tried to hide the fact that my arms were wrapped around my torso for extra warmth, but I could tell he saw. Immediately, he got up from the table and walked around it to me, holding out his hand. He smiled. "Can I have this dance?"

The annoying song was still playing, but how could I refuse?

"I don't think this place is meant for dancing," I countered half-heartedly, but the smile didn't waver. I sighed and took his hand, and then I was spinning around in a dizzying circle, landing in Fang's chest, his arm wrapped around me. I gasped, a little too late, and he chuckled. "Fang...I can't...breathe..."

He loosened his hold, but only slightly. As we swayed back and forth, I looked at my shoes. My horrible, uncomfortable, annoying shoes, that would no doubt cause me to trip and fall on my face while dancing, thus causing embarrassment and possibly reconstructive surgery. Without pausing to think about the consequences, I kicked them off, and they landed somewhere near the table. Fang saw and smirked at me.

"And I liked those shoes," he said with mock disappointment. I swatted at his chest playfully.

"Shut up and dance," I teased right back at him. The song was beginning to fall into a predictable rhythm, the beat gradually getting slower. As it trailed off into the night, the quiet was interrupted by a slight patter. _Tip-tap. Tip-tap. Tip-tap._ I looked up at the sky and smiled as I saw the moon, hardly visible through the hazy rainclouds that were beginning to cry their tears of rain. Pitttt_-er, patt-er, pitt-er, patt-er. _I snuggled into Fang for extra warmth as a slight breeze picked up, and the rain really started coming down in _whoosh_es, just as the last bars of the song sounded. The next song up was our song. I recognized it immediately, though I'd never heard the accompaniment. _Nothing _by Fool's Garden.

"They're really setting the mood, aren't they?" Fang murmured, and I looked up at him. He was gazing down at me from his extra few inches, in total love and adoration. I put my head against his chest and listened as he softly sang the lyrics of our song to me.

_You're more than fire  
>You are more than rain<br>You're more than love  
>And you are more than pain<br>No, no, there's no single word  
>that could explain .<em>

The rain was coming down in steady beats, fading into the background of the song as Fang and I held each other close, hoping that the song would never end, hoping the rain would never stop, hoping against hope that we'd never have to leave this perfect little moment. Our own little bubble of warmth and happiness and bliss and _love _was alive with emotion, and as I clung to my boyfriend—my freaking _savior—_I prayed to God that he would never let me go. It was perfect.

"FIRE!" someone screeched.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Mwahahaha! When in doubt, kick it out...or have someone scream "fire". That's also the surest way to get people to evacuate a building. Yell that it's important, they won't give a crap. Shriek about fire, they, to quote a good book that I can't remember the name of, "come running like bats out of hell, intent on saving their own skins." Write that in your notebooks, kiddies. And if you know the book, drop me a line. I'd love to reread it.**

**As always, a huge thanks to my faithful readers and reviewers, including as of today: _Raeofmydarkness, JealousMindsThinkAlike, Esperanza12, TaraxXx, bluegreypurple, Colorful, Stella Uzumaki _(eeks! I'm sorry about your Internet...it happened to me yesterday during the gosh darn brown-outs. D=), and _maxride17. _Keep reviewing, guys! I soooo appreciate it. I think I'm at 125 reviews, which far surpasses the amount I thought I'd get. I was hoping for fifty tops by this point, haha. So thanks...a _whole _lot. In fact, here are some cookies for your troubles. Enjoy!**

**Again, there's going to be no review cut-off or anything, because I've been under huge amounts of stress lately. I had to do an entire rhetorical freaking analysis online with my two slacking groupmates, okay? I'm sick of APLAC. Sigh. But what can you do? Other than get pregnant and drop out...but I prefer _that _after marriage. You can tell I'm tired, can't you? Well, then, stop distracting me! Grr. Anyway, thanks again for reviewing guys, and I'll update ASAP...meaning by Friday, but probably sooner, because I'm a procrastinator. Sigh. Until then, peace-lovers! =D**

**-YAY**


	17. Chapter XVII: Post  Datum

**CHAPTER XVII**

***FANG POV***

"I love you," Max told me, smiling up at me from within our embrace. We were standing on the front porch of the girls' vacation house—I absolutely refused to call it a cottage—while saying our reluctant good-byes after the date. It was dark out; there were a few garden lights on along the paths to illuminate the way, but other than that and the stars, the darkness was pretty much impermeable.

"I love you, too," I replied, pressing my lips to hers. Her hands were crushed between us, I noticed when I pulled away slightly for air. As I did so, Max quickly slid them out of the way, off of my chest, and placed them on my shoulders.

"Good night," she said as her fingers closed around my arm, contradicting her words. She leaned closer to me, and I inhaled deeply, taking in the intoxicating smell of her hair. I smiled when I remembered her saying something similar about my own. If being around her was so addicting and I was willing to stand here for hours just holding her in my arms, how would I ever be able to let her go?

"'Night," I answered, kissing the top of her head softly. A small movement in my periphery caught my eye, and I looked up at the house just in time to see a curtain on the second floor swing shut. I laughed. "I think your friends are waiting up for you."

"Max sighed and nestled her head into my shoulder. "I don't care."

"Do I have to carry you upstairs again?" I asked with mock seriousness. My plan worked; she looked up to stick out her tongue at me. I saw the curtain flutter again. "This has really been a most enjoyable evening, but I really don't want to be forcibly separated from you tonight." I heard the sadness in my tone, and Max wasn't one to miss it. She frowned.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" she asked, and I nodded immediately.

"Definitely. And no more fires," I added with a wink. She laughed her musical laugh, the one that always made me stop whatever I was doing so I could listen in amazement to the chorus of bells. It was the laugh that would always make me smile.

"Ah, the fire," Max said teasingly. "Something to tell future generations."

Okay, so it hadn't _really _been a fire. Well, I guess it depends on your definition. But it hadn't really been scream-worthy...nor had it been worth the wve of panic that had consumed every last diner at the restaurant. A microwave had short-circuited in the kitchen and started an easily containable _single flame_. But it was restaurant procedure to announce any and all fires, no matter the size, and announce it loud. Hence the yelling. It had been fixed in time and calmness restored, and as a special treat, the manager had come out and told everyone that each party would receive a serving of the restaurant's specialty: hula pie. This announcement had been met with the utmost grace...AKA applause and whistles.

Now, one dinner, fire, and hula pie later, Max and I were "alone" on the porch. Right back to the beginning, eh?

Suddenly there was a slamming sound from inside the house. I imagined Nudge—always the touchy one—stomping her foot against the floor, complaining to Ella about Max and me. Or maybe just me, because I knew with utmost certainty that from inside, it would look like I was the one holding things up. Maybe I was.

"I'll text you," I promised Max, giving her a little squeeze and one more quick kiss before separating myself from her. It broke my heart to do so, but a look of acceptance had come over her face, so I knew she wasn't upset. With me, anyway.

"Don't forget," she remarked briskly, giving me a small smile before opening the door. I saw a flash of bright pink and an "oomph," and then someone shouted, "Tell me every—" before the door was shut in my face.

_Nudge._

I turned around and walked back to the schmancy car that I'd rented for the night. Sighing, I got in and twisted the key to start the ignition. It started smoothly, with a loud snarl that made sure everyone within a mile radius was aware that I was driving an expensive, ostentatious car. Unfortunately, it was after dark, and there were probably rich families with small, sleeping children. Well, not-so-sleeping now, but still. That was the point.

I gritted my teeth and tried to focus on more pleasant thoughts as I backed out of the drive and started down the road to the car rental place. I had a ten mile round trip ahead of me, so the least I could do was try to make it more pleasant for myself. So what else could I do but think about Max?

Answer: nothing.

I tried to focus entirely on the road, but I already knew the way, so that didn't work out. Instead, I let my mind wander a little to the most beautiful girl in the world. My _girlfriend. _I still got chills—the good kind—when I thought about it. She was honestly the nicest girl I'd ever met in my entire life. She wasn't like the girls I'd had—er—_relationships _with before. She didn't have a questionable moral code. She didn't dress like a hooker on a daily basis; she didn't seem like the type to dress like a hooker at all. And she loved me as much as I loved her. Indisputably, irrevocably, and somewhat irrationally. Besides all that, she wasn't obsessed with me. She just cared. It was a welcome change, especially after my previous experiences...or, at least, one in particular.

Lissa.

I frowned at just the thought of her name. Though I tried to block my old recollections of her, they came back sometimes. They were haunting. She wasn't stable...emotionally, mentally, whatever. But I hadn't know that until it was too late. I'd thought I was in love, and I'd refused to see the signs, though some of the people I hung out with tried to point them out to me. But, being the irrational, hormone-filled teenager I'd been, all of that'd been dismissed. It was cute at first, how she got jealous when other girls would hit on me. Because they would, almost everywhere we went. Most times I didn't even realize that I was being flirted with until Lissa pulled me back to the present. I'm not an egotist, but I do normally notice moves. Except my ex-girlfriend would take things to the extreme. If I talked to a female other than her? I was flirting. If I laughed at something another girl said? I was cheating. If I hung out with the guys without her? I was gay.

The whole thing got to be a little tedious after awhile, after I realized that she was just being overpossessive. So I'd confronted her, and she'd confessed that she was just upset that I would be unfaithful to her. Of course _that _pulled at my heartstrings, so I let her back into my life, trying to make up for lost time. We became a couple, fell deeper in love, yada yada yada. And then what happened? She started following me. She'd text me, wondering where I was, and then she'd watch me for a while. It was like a twisted sort of game to her: "Watch the Boyfriend Who Might Be Cheating But Probably Isn't." I started getting serious doubts about our relationship when she started actually _calling _me and telling me what I was doing as she watched.

We were a demented pair. But, again, when I confronted Lissa, she assured me she would stop, even turning on the waterworks to plead her case. I believed her. The months went by, and our relationship grew stronger again. By the end of senior year, people knew better than to try to tear us apart. They knew that neither of us would listen to any sort of reason, especially Lissa. She got into several catfights with random girls around the school, and was the subject of much gossip. I did as much as I could to stop the flow of rumors, but they didn't stop. It was okay, though. Because we loved each other and someday we were going to have a family. Or so Lissa assured me. We just had to pass college first.

A bit of the way into the summer, I finally came up with the perfect plan: I would get down on one knee and ask Lissa to marry me. We went to a romantic restaurant, ate a five course meal...I used all my household savings for months, going into debt with my parents. Then I proposed. Lissa's reaction was immediately to squeal and jump around and give me a giant hug and kiss and start crying, and of course we got a bunch of awe-struck looks from other diners as they realized what had taken place.

The next day, I was arrested.

Her story was that I'd proposed to her at a beautiful restaurant (which was true) and then I'd drugged her, brought her home, and tried to rape her (which was _not _true). She went to the police claiming that she only remembered a few select things, including fighting back and locking me out. She refused any medical examinations, telling anyone who asked that she'd already taken a shower and washed her clothes and she had no other proof. This lack of proof didn't rattle the police, but it rattled me when I was woken up at eight the morning after the proposal by the police pounding on the door. I was dragged out of there and read my rights before I could even throw some decent clothes on. I guess potential rapists don't have the privilege of changing.

My mom and dad were furious with Lissa; thankfully, they believed my story. Just that alone had been a huge confidence boost. I knew that if my parents hadn't thought that I was telling the truth—which I was—I would never win any sort of trial. Lissa pressed charges, of course. My dad soon found me a lawyer, and though he wasn't exactly top-notch, he wasn't some know-nothing assigned by the court. But it turned out not to be necessary, because on the second day of proceedings, Lissa dropped all charges and filed to clear my name. It startled everyone, myself included. A week later, I got a threatening letter from her that was creepy and borderline sexual harassment. I pressed my dad and lawyer to keep from pressing any charges, but they insisted. We pushed for a restraining order at most—no jail time, obviously—and this, conveniently, was granted around the time my dad's Connecticut-based company branched out into New York. So we uprooted our home to NYC. That last day in the courtroom, where I successfully fought for my case with my parents and attorney, was the last time I ever saw Lissa.

A burst of sound made my mind fly back to the present, and I realized with a start that I'd accidentally turned the radio on. There was a song I didn't recognize playing, but it was catchy. I quickly picked up the chorus and hummed it to myself as I continued my drive to the rental place. Clearing my throat in an attempt to forget about my stupid dredged-up memories, I forced myself to keep my eyes on the road.

It would be a long night.

***MAX POV***

"So where'd you go? What'd you do? Did you like where he took you? Was it formal or casual or kind of semi-formal or formsual or cashmal or semi-casual? Was it _McDonald's? _Puh-leez tell me it wasn't McDonald's. That would just be sad. Like, if _I _went on a first date with some guy, which I have, by the way, I'd wanna go somewhere cute and romantic. Did you guys go to that one little restaurant by the—"

"Nudge, shut _up!" _To my surprise, it wasn't me who exclaimed this, but Ella. I raised an eyebrow at her and she rolled her eyes. "Sorry. But seriously, Nudge. It's like midnight. I'm tired. You're tired. I'm guessing she's tired. We're _all _freaking tired. So let's just go to bed and we can discuss this chiz in the morning. Good?"

"Point," I added helpfully.

"Not until she tells me where they went," Nudge said firmly, putting one hand on her hip and shifting her weight.

"Hellooo?" I waved my hand. "_She _is right here. And _she _is not going to tell you where _she _went because _she_, as her best friend just stated, is absolutely fucking _tired. _But just for reference, we went to Duke's."

Nudge squealed, and I winced, resisting the temptation to put my hands over my ears.

"With the hula pie?" Nudge asked, shaking with anticipation and excitement. "And the amazing steak? And all the great foods? Oh, my God, that's not even _close _to McDonald's! I've always wanted to go there! Okay, well, not always. But ever since I looked at the brochure and saw all that stuff about it and how good it was and stuff, I've wanted to try the food. Did you order steak? And the pie? You had to've ordered the pie. Was it good?"

I opened my mouth as Nudge took a breath, but she continued before I could get any words out.

"And besides the restaurant, what did you two do? Like, did you go for a walk on the beach or go swimming or climb trees like in _Sound of Music _or did you just go to a restaurant? And I _totally _saw him kiss you on the porch, so don't even try to get out of that one. And did he—hey, where are you going?"

I'd gradually drifted to the staircase, and I took this opportunity to turn and run, Nudge hot on my heels.

"You're never going to get all that makeup off your face without my help!" Nudge singsonged as I slammed my door in her face and locked it. Damn. She had me there. Maybe Nudge would...? "And I'm kidnapping Nudge until you tell me all the details. Your bottle of remover is waiting..."

I sighed and unlocked the door. "Nudge, I'm exhausted. Can you just get this shit off my face now and I'll tell you everything tomorrow?" It was true. I hadn't noticed when I was with Fang, but I was ready to drop at any moment. I was practically swaying when I was standing.

"But you might not remember then!" Nudge protested halfheartedly. She looked at my face and held her hands up in surrender. "Fine, fine. But no leaving out the details tomorrow, okay? You have to tell me _every_thing." I nodded warily, and she smiled as she grabbed my hand, leading me to her room. "Cool. Now let's remove the shit."

O_-_-_-_O

Bacon. No, no...sausage. Eggs? Eggs and sausage, then. But there was still that faintly greasy smell that I had to place...bacon. So there was bacon..._and _sausage? And eggs? I groaned and willed my crusty eyes to open. I coughed to clear my sleep-clogged throat and sat up. Ugh. My face still felt like it was rubbed raw from all the scrubbing it had endured the night before. Thanks to Nudge and her stupid makeup (and its remover), my cheeks and forehead were probably bright red. And I couldn't feel my legs. Though, as I peered down at them, hopelessly entangled in my sheets, that issue was hardly Nudge-induced.

I had to admit, though, that waking up to the smell of breakfast was a bit of an anger-dampener.

Yawning, I unraveled the sheets that were tied in knots around my shins, wincing at the pins and needles that meant I was getting my circulation back. Some people can wake up on their backs, lying perfectly under their covers in the center of the bed. I am not one of those people.

It took me a good ten minutes to rub my legs back into working order and stand up, stretching my back. I leaned down against my legs, sighing in contentment at the feeling of stretching the muscles that I hadn't been able to since the vacation started. I was pretty flexible, especially for my age. I could still manage to do the splits on good days, though it often left my muscles sore if there was no preemptive stretching involved. I could do bridges and back bends...and flips, on occasion. Barring any sort of wood, tile, or otherwise hard flooring.

Breathing deeply, I reveled for the next few seconds in the flexing of my quads and other leg muscles. Then I stood up straight, again stretching my spine, before straightening the hem of my favorite camisole-capri bedtime combination. **(AN: Pictures on profile) **I did one last arm stretch before sighing and leaving my room. I knew if I didn't, I would soon be forcibly dragged. Why not make it easier on myself?

_Easier on myself. _I realized with a jolt that I'd gone yet another night without bad dreams. Ugh. That meant that when they _did _start again, they'd be even worse. But then...this was a new record, after all. And this vacation had caused it. Maybe Ella was right. Maybe a vacation was what I needed. Or maybe it was something more. After Fang showed up, my nightmares were disturbingly absent. Then again, he'd (probably) been a major factor in my embarrassing breakdowns.

Ew. I was _so _confused.

I was so involved in my thoughts that, when I was halfway down the staircase, I ran straight into Ella.

"Ouch!" We both recoiled, holding our heads where we'd hit them. I forced the memories that sprung from the pain to keep themselves repressed. I really couldn't afford to have another freak-out today. I had other things to think about. Like...the pain in my head?

"Crap, watch where you're going!" I snapped. Ella glared at me.

"I might tell you the same thing," she retorted. She rolled her eyes. "I was just coming upstairs to see if you're awake. Nudge is bouncing off the walls. She's been running around all morning, trying to keep her mind busy. She even made breakfast."

"So I noticed," I said, inhaling deeply. The aroma was amazing...and it made me slightly homesick. I'd had no answer to that text I sent my mom. And there were no missed calls. They probably thought I was having too much fun. It struck me as interesting that nobody except Ella, Nudge, and Fang knew about my little mental meltdowns. Not mom. Not even Angel, my strict confidence through some rough patches, despite our age differences.

"Come on," Ella urged, tugging on my arm. "Don't make me go back there without you. She'll probably put me to work, too."

I rolled my eyes but went with her into the kitchen, where Nudge was standing over a pan-covered stove top. She quickly flipped some potato-shaped things before running over to me and grabbing my arms, her eyes filled with suppressed euphoria.

"You're awake! Tell me everything!" she exclaimed. Huh. This was unusually brief. Then I smelled the faint smokey smell of food burning.

"Um, Nudge?" I pointed to the stove, and she hurried back over to the pans, flipping dials and switches on the back of the stove and turning a few things over. I would've laughed at how comical it all played out if I weren't about to spill my entire date with Fang to Miss Bigmouth herself.

"Talk," she ordered, not moving from her position.

I took a deep breath and proceeded to explain everything to her in tedious detail. Much to her credit, she didn't interrupt with words once. She just nodded and gasped and beamed in all the right places as she periodically stirred, shook, and flipped her food around. Her face was absolutely photo-worthy when I described the fire incident.

"So you had fun?" she confirmed when I was done, not so much asking as clarifying. I nodded vigorously.

"Yeah." And I had. Immense fun, actually. It was a new feeling. It was amazing that my feelings from Fang were progressing so rapidly. Maybe a little too rapidly, actually. Though it _was _a refreshing step back to go o a "first date," it was still ludicrous that I should have loving feelings about a guy I'd basically just met.

"But you think it's going too fast," Ella stated, ever the perceptive one. I'd been doing being surprising by her intuitiveness long ago, so this little display wasn't a shock.

"A little," I admitted. Admitted. God. I was tired. Groggy, if you will. "Where's my coffee?"

Ella rolled her eyes and moved to get me a cup, and I sat down in a chair at the table. Ah, satisfaction. There was a buzzing sound from the counter, and my hand automatically went to my hip, where my phone was usually stored. Nudge grinned at me and threw me the phone. Oh. So it was mine. I opened the text without looking at the sender. When the display came up, the recipient was a number not on my phone, but it was one I still recognized all the same. And as I stared at the number, horror filling me, I felt a familiar bleakness crawl into my mind, coming with it a round of nausea.

**Unknown Number: _Hello, Max. Long time no talk. Guess what? I'm off probation._**

Dylan.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Oh, snap. Haha, hope you guys like that cliffie. And I'm soooo sorry it took this long to update. First I had some writer's block, and then I was under enormous stress because all my teachers decided to give us tests _this week_ without fail, so...I didn't have a whole lot of time. I feel so bad. Next time I say I'll update by a certain day, I absolutely promise I will. Promise. Pinkie. I gave you a long-ish chapter to make up for it, but I still feel bad. Anyway, I'm just going to give a quick thanks to all you faithful reviewers; I'll reply to you via PM as soon as I can. Ooh, speaking of that, please let me know in your reviews if you don't check your PMs or if you don't want my PMs clogging your inbox. I won't send them.**

**One last thing! I know some of you think that the Fax was going a little bit fast, so I tried to include a little bit of that feeling in this chapter. I'd like some suggestions for upcoming chapters, if that's possible. It'll help me update faster, and I think that having extra feedback (AKA people reading the reviews, etc.) would bring a refreshing taste back to the story. Yang is sort of on vacation in BC (it's some sort of break for her school—yeah, she lives in Canada), so I don't have her to bounce ideas off of for now. Thanks so much in advance for this, and for understanding the delay. Have a great weekend, peace-lovers!**

**-YAY**


	18. Chapter XVIII: Hiking Pains

**CHAPTER XVIII**

My body froze stiff, my wall immediately quadrupling its forces as I thought his name. My eyes locked on the message. I couldn't look away. My mind started screaming things at me, and I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood so I wouldn't do the same aloud. My heart slowed down its beating, and the pulse sounded in my ears. _Thu, thump. Thu, thump. Thu, thump. _Then, as the literal meaning of the words finally worked their way into my brain, my heart accelerated. _Thu-thump. Thuthump. Thuthump, thuthump, thuthumpthuthumpthuthump..._

"Max, are you okay?" Half in total shut-down mode, it took me a couple of seconds to tear my eyes away from the tiny screen that had unleashed so much horror and realize that Ella was looking at me worriedly. Nudge was presumably still doing whatever it is Nudge does in the morning. Apparently making breakfast. She turned to us when she heard Ella's question.

I forced my mouth to work. "Yeah," I managed, then cleared my throat. I couldn't tell them about this. I wouldn't. I...just wouldn't. I'd keep it on the down low. And who knew? It could've been a...a wrong number or...something. Or maybe it wasn't really _him. _It'd been awhile. I could've forgotten the number.

No. I knew for a fact who this text was from. But, I told myself, it was okay. If it was Dylan—and it probably was—he had no idea where I was or where to find me. _Find me. _Oh, God, off fucking _probation? _I had no idea why he was on it in the first place. Certainly I hadn't put him there; as stupid as it was, I'd never pressed serious charges against him. And I'd always regretted it, thinking that maybe someday he would repeat the process with some other girl, and it would be all my fault for not getting him locked up. What had he _done?_

"I'm fine," I assured my friends, surprised at how sturdy my voice was. I quickly deleted the text. I would pretend I never saw it. I wouldn't reply. If he texted again...no. I wouldn't think about that. It was a one-time thing. It had to be. My sanity depended on that. "Really."

"You look like you just got a text from the devil reincarnated," Nudge commented bluntly, and Ella shot her a glare. I gave an involuntary hysterical giggle at how close she was to the truth. I _so _didn't need this right now. Why was my life so messed up? Why couldn't I lead a normal life, with normal people? Why would my asshole of an ex decide to rear his ugly head _months _after our breakup just to tell me he was off probation for something I wasn't aware of? And _why when I was on my fucking vacation?_

"No, I just misunderstood it," I lied, only half-conscious of what I was saying. "Mom and Angel send their love, though. But anyway. What are our plans for today?"

Ella didn't really look like she believed me—I could tell by the slightly disapproving look on her face—but she rolled her eyes and went along with my little fib. For now, anyway. She must've figured that it would be easier that way.

"Well, we _were _going to go to the beach," she informed me. "But Nudge kind of changed that. With her breakfast-making and time-of-the-month thing. So that's out. There's no tour today. I don't really know what we're doing."

"Don't pin this on me!" For once, I was glad about the squabble Nudge created. Her wink in my direction let me know that she was (successfully) trying to get the attention off of me. I thanked whoever was up there for the millionth time that I had made such good friend choices. For the most part. "I mean, like, it's kind of your fault, too, you know? Periods can be stress-induced! And if anything's been stressing me out this month, it's been _you_."

I relaxed, allowing the familiar sounds of my friends' jabs to fade into the background as I sipped the coffee Ella placed on the table. It was exactly the way I made it for myself, a huge indicator that Ella knew me well. I'm not picky about my coffee, per se, but I do prefer to drink it my way. Okay, so I'm a bit of a coffee snob. One of my many character flaws.

"Well, I don't hear _you _coming up with any suggestions!" Nudge snapped, bringing me back to reality. Ugh. I really needed to get rid of these zone-outs I was succumbing to lately. For once, it was a problem that wasn't Dylan-related. At least, not entirely.

"Not saying anything is better than coming up with shitty ideas," Ella said under her breath, dropping gracefully into a chair. Nudge glared before hitting a button on the stove and removing various pots and pans. I found it admirable that she didn't burn herself once. I, for one, am absolutely talentless in the kitchen. I can make a sandwich like nobody's business, but when the stove is involved? I will burn the house to the ground. Think it's impossible for water to catch fire? Hand it over. I've got you covered.

"How about we just go driving around?" I suggested, eying a map of Oahu—our island—on the counter. "We could drive through the city, see some landmarks...maybe go out to Diamond Head or something later." The more I spoke, the more I was convincing myself. It actually sounded like a pretty good plan. "Nudge could whip us up a lunch and we could picnic in one of the tourist areas up there...or we could go down to the beach. What do you think?"

Ella and Nudge looked at each other thoughtfully for a moment.

"I like it," Nudge replied matter-of-factly, dropping perfect breakfast portions on three plates. Ella nodded.

"Sounds good," she agreed. I smiled at how quickly their dispute was resolved. Then I remembered what had just happened and suddenly felt uneasy. An involuntary shiver rolled down my spine, making me twitch, and it wasn't because of the temperature.

_Stop, _I commanded myself. _He's not here. He'll never be here. He has no idea where you are. You're safe now._

But if it wasn't such a big deal, why couldn't I tell my friends? Well, I knew the answer to that one. It _was _a big deal. A huge deal. A ginormous deal. Dylan could be freaking _stalking _me at that moment for all I knew. Then again...it was a very Dylan-like thing to do to text me just for kicks. Just to see if I'd get scared. He used to do that. He'd be halfway high and he'd send me a text or leave a twisted voicemail. He'd say things like, "I'm coming home soon. Don't wait up. You'll regret it," or, "I'm waiting for you in your room, Max. Where are you?" The content wasn't even half as scary as it was when I could actually tell how fucked up he was. The words would be slurred or angry or, the scariest of all, dead calm.

I felt myself slipping and hurriedly tried to distract myself. "So should we leave soon? Like...right after breakfast?"

Nudge nodded slowly. "Yeah. That's probably a good idea. It's quite a ways away, right? Hang on." She snatched the map off of the counter and did some calculations in her head. "Oh. It's actually only about five minutes from here. At least, actual Diamond Head. It's a bit longer to get to the lighthouse, but I think the mountain is a good place to start. Want me to read some stuff off the brochure for you guys?"

"No," Ella and I replied at once, and grinned at each other. Nudge rolled her eyes.

"Whatever," she said dismissively, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "I'll read it in the car. Now, I'm going upstairs to get our outfits in order, and then we're all gonna get a head start on this trip before the rest of the tourists get there. Cool?"

"Cool." I grabbed a plate and scarfed down the food. I was absolutely starving. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with this, but I'm a stress-eater, so whenever I'm mildly worried about something, I tend to get a big appetite. And the thing is, my friends _always _notice. So as I watched Ella out of the corner of my eye, I wasn't surprised to see her watching me. I slowed down my eating accordingly, albeit reluctantly.

Suddenly Nudge came running down the stairs. "Oh, my God! Ohmigodohmidgodohmigod!" She jumped onto a chair and was scrambling up onto the table before I could even ask what was wrong. She started trembling.

"Bug?" Ella asked, holding her breakfast on her lap. Nudge nodded.

"Spider," she confirmed, still perched on top of the table.

"We're going _hiking_ with this?" I jerked my thumb in Nudge's direction as I peered around her to look at Ella, who rolled her eyes. I sighed. "Let the fun begin."

O_-_-_-_O

"No, no, _second _left!" Nudge shrieked at Ella, who looked like she was about ready to have an aneurism. "We're supposed to be on Collins Street, you dumbass, not whatever the hell this is! Turn around now! Go back! Halt! Cease! Desist! Get onto _Collins!"_

"Nudge, you're going to give her a fucking heart attack!" I yelled, slapping her shoulder from the backseat. The guy in the car to the right of our own was grinning at me, and I flipped him off. I hated his car anyway. "If you _insist _on screaming at the driver, at least put the top up," I added, a little calmer. "People are staring."

"We're on Collins," Ella announced, and Nudge seemed to relax. Both had ignored me. I crossed my arms in annoyance and slumped into my seat. But it was hard to stay mad. After all, it was a beautiful day, the top of our awesomely shiny convertible was down, and we were getting appreciative honks from random cars every few minutes. Though the last one was a slight inconvenience (read: annoyance), it was an esteem-booster. Though I liked to think they were for us rather than our car. Nudge had outfitted everyone in clothes that were both flattering and showcase-y. I couldn't help but wonder if Fang would enjoy my ensemble, which consisted of my favorite t-shirt (a comfortable black v-neck with the words "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none" written on the chest), some white denim shorts, and a pair of simple black flip-flops. I had a feeling he would. He seemed to like everything I wore.

Ella was clad in a black one-shoulder tank with a slight ruffle on one side, and had chosen against Nudge's wishes to wear some comfy denim shorts with sandals much like mine. Nudge wore a loose-fitting pink tank with some black shorts. Overall, we were hot. Not very subtle or well-prepared for hiking, but hot. And Nudge being our current wardrobe manager, the outfits were considered a raging success.

"Alright, so the brochure says that 'Diamond Head' is the most famous volcanic crater in the islands," Nudge began, reading from the brochure in her lap. I rolled my eyes but didn't interrupt as she went on in a fake serious voice. "This broad, saucer-shaped crater was formed about 300,000 years ago during a single, explosive eruption that sent ash and fine particles in the air. As these materials settled, they cemented together into a rock called _tuff_, creating the crater, which is visible from the trail in the park. Most of the vegetation and birds were introduced in the late 1800s to early 1900s."

"What does it say about the hike?" Ella hedged, and Nudge gave her a "don't rush me" sort of look before flipping the page.

"The trail to the summit of Le'ahi was built in 1908 as part of Oahu's coastal defense system...blah, blah, blah. Okay, here it is: the 0.8 mile hike from trailhead to the summit is steep and strenuous, gaining 560 feet as it ascends from the crater floor. The walk is a glimpse into the geological and military history of Diamond Head. A concrete walkway built to reduce erosion shifts to a natural tuff surface about 0.2 mile up the trail with many switchbacks traversing the steep slope of the crater interior. The ascent continues up steep stairs and through a lighted 225-foot tunnel to enter the Fire Control Station completed in 1911. Built on the summit, the station directed artillery fire from batteries in Waikiki and Fort Ruger outside Diamond Head crater. At the summit, you'll see bunkers and a huge navigational lighthouse built in 1917. The postcard view of the shoreline from Koko Head to Wai'anae is stunning, and during winter, may include passing humpback whales."

"Too bad it's not the winter," I said regretfully, and Ella nodded her assent.

"Whales are cool," she agreed. "Maybe they have a whale-watching boat or something around here we can do. Not today, though, I guess."

"Can I finish?" Nudge asked irritably. Ella waved her hand for her to continue, and Nudge cleared her throat before going on. "The hiking trail to the summit is very steep and uneven in some areas. The last tenth of a mile is all stairs and especially steep. The site is accessible to those with disabilities near the visitor booth. Allow one and a half to two hours for your hike. Wear—um—good walking shoes..._crap. _And...bring water, and wear a hat and sunscreen."

I looked down at my feet and groaned. "Nuuudge..."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She threw the brochure to the floor of the car. "I didn't realize it was an actual _hike!"_

Ella suddenly turned a corner and pulled into a parallel parking space with deft precision. A couple of people watching cheered, impressed. Ella modestly smiled at them before turning to look at Nudge with a neutral expression. "It's okay. We'll tough it out."

"For _two hours?" _I whined, despite myself. I mean, I'd done worse before, and been through hell and come back relatively unscathed. But why put myself through the misery of walking nearly a mile entirely uphill in sandals if I didn't need to? "Can't we just take the elevator?"

"Point," Nudge put in, backing me up. "They usually have one for elderly people. And it says it's handicapped accessible. I just read that, 'member?"

Ella shook her head and turned off the ignition of the car. The silence seemed to make it final. "We drove out here for a hike and a picnic. Personally, I wouldn't feel as accomplished if we just took an elevator to the top. Plus, we're not elderly or disabled. Everyone up there would think we're total divas."

"I don't think of that as an insult," Nudge grumbled, but grudgingly unfastened her seat belt and hurdled nimbly over the door of the car. Ella sighed and rolled her eyes, opening the door and getting out like a normal person. I considered for a moment, and ended up rolling ungracefully over the door and onto the blacktop that was the parking lot. Nudge smirked at me, and I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Let's just get this over with," I said, grabbing the small cooler out of the back of the car. Slinging it up onto my shoulder by the strap, I swung around and pointed myself at the intimidating-looking mountain that we were facing. It made my stomach drop a little just looking at it.

"Better shut up the top of the car," Nudge stated glumly. "It looks like it's gonna be a long walk."

O_-_-_-_O

"I...am...going to...fucking..._murder _you!" I nodded my assent at Nudge's statement, loosely directed at Ella. Nodded, because I couldn't suck in enough oxygen to agree aloud. The hike had been a grueling point-eight miles—not that long if you were, say, sprinting a track or something. But considering the entire thing was uphill—practically ninety freaking degrees straight up in some places—we were lucky that we'd gotten this far relatively unscathed. I was gasping for air, the palms of my hands and my knees scratched and rubbed raw from my two falls _and rolls _that had occurred in random places on the hike.

"I second that emotion," I wheezed, plopping onto a bare patch of grass that didn't have a fence around it. It was wet, of course, and I shivered violently at the cold chill that the breeze—okay, windstorm—was giving me. There was no way we would be able to have a picnic up here. Which was good, because the sandwiches were probably smashed. I pulled out my silenced phone to check for any word from Fang.

I refused to even think that I was checking for anything—or any_one—_else.

Relieved, I saw that there were two messages from my guy...and none from the Other. It'd been a fluke. Maybe I'd dreamed it. Unlikely, but a possibility that I was all too eager to accept, I knew as I opened the first message and smiled.

**Fang: _there's no poem I could paint to tell you what you mean to me. And no poem I could write to tell you what you mean to me._**

I smiled to myself, despite my lack of breath, as I recognized the words as lyrics to our song...the one he'd sung me to sleep with. Immediately, I knew what the second message would contain.

**Fang: yo_u're more than fire, you are more than rain. You're more than love, you are more than pain._**

As I read the texts, my phone buzzed again. Another text from Fang. Was he seriously going to send me the entire song via text? My smile grew as I grabbed a water bottle out of the cooler and chugged it, reading the next text as I did so.

**Fang: _oh, no, there's no single word that could explain._**

I quickly hit reply before his thumbs could get too tired.

**luv ya 2, babe, but im exhausted. Just went hiking w/ ella & the other 1. wats up?**

Ella collapsed next to me, falling onto her back. Her hair flew in all directions, landing in a random pattern. It made me laugh, and she opened one eye to roll it at me before letting the lid drop again out of pure exhaustion. I soon stopped my hysterics due to lack of air, and coughed like I was choking. A couple of people looked at me to make sure I wasn't dying of a heart attack or stroke, and then, realizing I was just fine, turned away like they'd never seen me before in their lives.

_Thanks, guys, _I thought bitterly, too tired to make the words come out. _I appreciate it. Really._

"Let's have...something to eat...before we head back down," Nudge managed as she plonked down next to me, holding her head between her knees. I suddenly had the realization that she might just hurl all over me, so I quickly scurried to my feet, promptly stumbling and stepping on Ella.

"_Ouch! _Dammit, Ma—" She cut herself short when she remembered that we were in a very public place with a few young children running about. My phone buzzed. Annoyance coursed through me...until I realized that it very well could have been _him _again. My breath caught in my throat, and my thumb seemed to move of its own accord to hit "view."

**Fang: _just wanted to get your attention. ;)_**

Every muscle in me seemed to relax. I realized that I'd tensed to the extreme, making my muscles scream in protest after the walk. As I flicked open the keyboard on my phone, I forced myself to swallow and take a deep breath. This was Fang. It was okay.

**U dont have 2 try...ull always have it.**

I grabbed a sandwich from the cooler and scarfed it down. Huh. I hadn't realized that I'd gotten so hungry...all I could think about on the hike was how horrible the burning in my muscles was and how the hell I'd manage to get to the top of this fucking mountain and whether or not Nudge would shut her fat ass mouth so flies wouldn't fly in and where in the _hell _Dylan had gotten my number from in the first place...but no. I wouldn't think about him. This wasn't the right time or place. I couldn't allow myself to remember. I knew it would give him too much satisfaction that my every waking thought was consumed by horror like it had been all those months ago. Where was he? What would he do? Would he stop by? Would he be drunk? High? Worse?

_Shut the fuck up, Max! _I yelled in my head, shaking it to clear my muddled thoughts. I couldn't panic. I _wouldn't _panic.

"Guys?" Ella and Nudge regarded me, sandwiches in hand. I'd been so absorbed in my thoughts I hadn't even noticed. Huh. "Can we go soon? I thought we were going to try to hit the lighthouse and stuff later. It's getting late." And I want to stop thinking about my fucking ex so you don't have to put up with another one of my breakdowns, I added mentally. Thankfully, Ella seemed to understand, and she got to her feet stiffly as she brushed some crumbs off of her shirt.

"Yeah, sounds good," she said with a wince, rolling her shoulder. She sounded totally wiped. Now I felt guilty. Shocker, right?

"We can wait a little while if you want," I assured her. But even I could hear the reluctance in my tone. Nudge got up, too, shoving the empty plastic baggie that once housed her sandwich into a pocket in her shorts.

"I'm done," she informed us, sounding like she'd just told us we could get down on the ground and start licking her shoes. "We can go."

I rolled my eyes and glanced at my phone. As utterly ridiculous as it sounded, it was both my savior and my demise. After all, I _was _waiting for a reply from Fang...but there was also that slim chance that Dylan would get frustrated with my non-answer and attempt to contact me again. _Why _hadn't I invested in a phone that held a "block" setting on it? _Why _had I settled on a Gravity fucking 3? I felt the sudden urge to chuck the device over the guard rail on the edge of the cliff, but I suppressed the urge with little effort. I sighed.

"Let's get going then." I tucked my phone away in my back pocket, leaving it on vibrate in case of a text. From either. A sudden buzz from the thing made me jump about three feet in the air, and I quickly pulled it back out, ignoring the strange looks of my friends. Oh, thank _God _it was Fang. My heart couldn't take much more of this.

**Fang: _I hoped so. love you, max._**

I smiled.

**AN: Okay, I'm _sorry _this took so long...and for such a crappy filler chappie. Like I said, Yang was on a little vacay, but she's back now (and she says hi). Or did I not say that? I can't remember, and I don't really feel like checking, haha. Anyway, I tried out for IMEA yesterday. Yayy! That's a band/vocal/jazz-thing audition...for which I played my beloved alto sax, Max (yes, named after Maximum Ride, because I'm a nerd, but also so I can call her Max the Sax, haha). I totally screwed up an etude or two and I botched up the sight-reading piece, so I'm almost positive I won't get into the all-district band. But it was a wonderful experience, nerves and adrenaline rushes aside. And now I'm prepared for next year!**

**Anyway, here's a quick word of thanks to all you wonderfully faithful reviewers: _FlowerChild22 _(welcome to the madness, new 'un! =D), _irishgirl999, Colorful, bluegreypurple, JealousMindsThinkAlike, straylighter, Esperanza, cha, Raeofmydarkness, Brooke R, MaximumPingPong, KayleighBear, TaraxXx _(thanks for the suggestion!), _maxride17, _and _FANGirlforFANG _(back off, he's mine! ;D). I love you all...and to straylighter, no, I don't live in Hawaii, haha. But I've been there quite a few times and I think it's an amazing place..._the best _place for vacations and such, certainly. Since you live there...how's the protesting going? Against the new hotels and such? It's awesome that you get to be there year-round. I'd love to. =D**

**Sorry once more for the time, and also for making such a long AN. They're going to be seriously slimmed down pretty soon, so don't worry. But before I go...I'm instituting a new policy, and one that will hopefully motivate you guys to review more! If y'all review, I will personally see to it that you get a little "sneak peek" of chappie 19. Oh, yeah! And I must say, it's pretty good. So pleaaaase review, guys! I love it when you do...and now you'll actually get something in return besides my love! So until next time, peace-lovers...**

**-YAY**


	19. Chapter XIX: I Couldn't, I Wouldn't

**WARNING: This chapter is by me (Yang). It contains extreme language, some violence, and some implications of rape. Don't like, don't read. The rape isn't really a scene, but it's a small flashback. If you still don't want to read that sort of stuff, skip the italicized parts near the end of the chapter. Talk to you below.**

**CHAPTER XIX**

"_I'm so sorry, Max." I heard the tears before I saw them. His voice was choked. Strained. He sounded like he would burst into tears at the earliest opportunity. I couldn't stand it. I didn't want to see him like this. I loved him. Why was he doing his?_

"_Why are you doing this?" I whispered, stroking his hair. He was sprawled out on my bed, his head in my lap. He wasn't supposed to hear the question. It was rhetorical. He was supposed to keep going, keep apologizing. He wouldn't do this ever again. He wouldn't hurt me. He wouldn't hurt himself. He would come clean, go straight. But I'd spoken too loudly._

"_I..." Dylan swallowed and turned his head to look up at me. He sat up and reached for my face with one of his hands. Instinctively, I flinched. Cringing, I shrank into myself, dreading what was to come. "Oh, my God. Max. I'm sorry. I...I'm sorry. Please don't." He was begging now. Pleading. Why was I hurting him like this? Why was I such a bitch?_

_I quickly grabbed his hand and put it against my cheek, leaning my head into his palm. "Shh. It's okay. I'm sorry," I told him sincerely. My voice was getting thick, but I couldn't bring myself to clear my throat for fear that it would ruin the moment. _It's my fault.

"_It's my fault," Dylan muttered, pulling his hand away gently. Standing, he walked to the window. "My fault. _My_ fucking _fault_!"_

_I jumped as his fist collided with the soft drywall of my bedroom wall. It made an obvious dent, the paint peeling from the edges. My fingers tenderly moved to my forearm, where the purple marks shaped like fingers lay. My last encounter with Dylan. I slowly walked over to Dylan, not touching him._

"_It's not your fault," I said softly._

_He turned to me then, his face looking agonized, his eyes pained, his muscles and tendons taught. His hands went to his hair, and he pulled like he was trying to take out the hair from the roots. It was the perfect picture of torture. "Yes, it is, Max! How stupid are you? I'm a fucking idiot for thinking I could do this. But I can't. I can't do this shit! I'm not right for you. Why don't you leave? Why are you still here?"_

_Because you won't let me. "Because I love you."_

"_No, you don't." Dylan shook his head vehemently. "You can't."_

_That stung. "You don't...love me, too?" I felt myself on the edge. What was he saying? I was dangling from a precipice with my fingers dangerously close to slipping. If he didn't love me...if he didn't care...there was no way I could do this. I put up with this "shit" because I loved him. If he didn't reciprocate that?_

_Death looked so good right now._

"Max!" I snapped to attention at the sound of Nudge's voice and realized that I'd fallen asleep whilst sitting in the back of the car, the top still down, the breeze flowing through my hair. My body, still on autopilot after so many months, cataloged everything around me. No threat. Safety imminent. No _Dylan. _I was safe.

"What?" I muttered, wiping a palm across my eyes; partly to clear the sleep from my eyes, partly to get rid of the nostalgic images that were poisoning my vision. I couldn't understand this. It'd been freaking _months _since we'd separated. Why was it still this bad? Why could I still remember the exact timber of his voice, still feel the familiar pressure on my hand as if he were trying to calm me down again? Why couldn't I just let him go? And, worst of all, why couldn't I get some _answers?_

"We're almost back," Ella informed me. She shot a quick glance at me over her shoulder before turning back to look at the road. "Are you okay?"

Did she even have to ask? "Uh..."

"You were sleeping, but you didn't say anything," Nudge said, sounding a little excited. "That's good, isn't it? I bet you didn't even have any dreams. Or if you did, you don't remember them. That means you're making progress! We should do something to celebrate. Like, go out to dinner. Or go shopping! Well, okay, that'd be more my thing, not yours, and this is your celebration. You can pick out what you want to do. As long as it's within budget, obviously. Otherwise Ella might throw a little pissy fit or something. But really. Ooh, we could invite the guys over! Oh, shit, you were asleep! I need to show you the text that Sam sent me while you were out. I already read it to Ella..."

"And it was very sweet," Ella interrupted. Her hand strayed to the rear view mirror, and her lithe fingers adjusted it quickly. "Ew. Tailgater."

She tapped the brakes a couple of times, and, because we were going a good fifty-five MPH, I lurched forward, my seat belt snapping into a lock. Wincing as it chafed my neck, I pulled at it a little, trying not to focus on the pain. The guy behind us evidently backed off, and Ella and Nudge began to talk more about their plans and Sam's alleged text that nobody was bothering to read to me. Not that I cared. I just stared out at the darkening scenery flashing by. Every once in a while, a palm tree seemed to speed backwards, surrounded by hibiscus flowers and tropical ferns. They were really pretty. I found myself wishing that it was still daytime so I could see the colors better. Island flowers were super cool shades...so I'd learned from our outings today.

We ended up visiting all of the Diamond Head landmarks. We climbed the thing itself, we saw the lighthouse, we hiked a couple of surrounding trails...we even went into the gift shop, where Nudge convinced me to buy a black hoodie that said "I Hiked Diamond Head" on the back, the location written in smaller print right below. It was comfy enough, so I'd agreed. Now I was glad for the purchase as I pulled it from its bag and wrapped it around me to ward off the chilly night air. The warmth reminded me of the hot Hawaiian sun that had shone down on us as we'd worked on our tans earlier. Nudge's idea, of course. After all of our hiking, she'd decided we'd had "enough wind" and we had to "even it out" by getting roasted. But as long as it meant relaxing after that grueling trip up the mountain, I was game.

I was in a very agreeable mood today.

"So what do you think, Max?" Nudge asked, jolting me out of yet another day—er, night—dream. She was peering over her seat at me, and I gave her my infamous _huhh? _look to let her know that I had no clue what the conversation was about. She rolled her eyes. "Should we invite the guys over for some more movies tonight, or should we just hit the sack?"

Ugh. _Movies. _"I'm really tired, Nudge. Can't we just...meet them at the beach tomorrow or something?"

She huffed. "Why? It'll only be for a couple of hours. And we could, like, make popcorn and drink soda and stuff. It'll be a party! I _love _parties! Remember that one we threw last month? You weren't there because you were sick, but it was totally awesome! We could—"

"Or," Ella broke in, "we could just go to sleep and do what Max suggests."

"So now you're on _her _side?" Nudge pouted, crossing her arms.

"Just drop it!" I snapped, growing increasingly irritable. I _so _wasn't in the mood for a fight right now, especially with my best friends. I was tired and cranky and I really didn't want anyone—especially someone as important as Fang—to see me like this. I mean, I'm angry enough as a person when I'm awake. But when I'm asleep on my feet, I'm absolutely insufferable. At least, that's what I've been told.

Nobody said anything as Ella continued to drive, but the silence was more drowsy than awkward. The radio was off because it was night, the top was down, and we really didn't want to get in trouble for speeding around in a fancy car whilst blaring the loud mainstream music that seemed to be all that was picked up by the receiver. Besides, we all much preferred older songs that weren't ruined by constant repetition via radio.

I soon began to recognize our surroundings—despite the dark—and, sure enough, we were all too quickly pulling up to our cottage. My phone, all but forgotten in my pocket, vibrated just as Ella pulled the keys out of the ignition. That would be Fang. I pulled out the device and checked my inbox.

**Mom: _Sorry I took so long to reply, honey. Work has been crazy. Three operations on a Great Dane in two days. How's it going with you three?_**

Oh. Mom. Right. I'd forgotten that I texted her. But...my phone said that, in this time zone, it was nearly midnight. So what on earth was my mom doing up so late? She was a vet...one of the ones who works semi-late shifts and goes to sleep whenever and wherever she can. What up?

"Fang?" Ella asked as we got out of the car. I shook my head as I texted back a quick status report.

"Mom," I told her simply, and she nodded in understanding. Then I yawned; my body was reminding me that I was dead tired. Like I'd forgotten. "I'm gonna hit the hay. Hurry up."

Nudge and Ella didn't argue any further as the latter fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door. I stumbled drowsily inside, gazing at the stairs mournfully. There was absolutely no way I'd be able to get up those. Of course, these thoughts were met with thoughts of Fang carrying me. I felt my face heat up. It woke me just enough to climb the treacherous steps and collapse onto the mattress in my room.

_Hello, bed, _I thought wryly as I wriggled to get comfortable. _We really have to stop meeting like this._

No sooner than I'd kicked off my shoes, I was out like a light.

O_-_-_-_O

_Bzz. Bzz. Bzz_. I groaned and rolled off my arm so my hand could strike the alarm clock that had awoken me. My fingers met empty air, making my eyes shoot open. Crap. Where the hell was I? And where was the offending device? I was met with white walls. Ah. So I'd finally gone crazy. A mental institution. That was new. _Bzz. Bzz. Bzz._

"Son of a..." I muttered as I rolled over again, writhing to get out of my tangled nest. Then it hit me. My _phone. _It wasn't in my head. And this wasn't a hospital for the insane. I was in Hawaii. Damn those stupid modern decorators. I shook my head at my own stupidity (and conclusion-jumping) as I pulled the cell out of my back pocket. Incoming call...from Fang. My thumb hit "accept" almost immediately. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," the most beautiful baritone voice said in reply. I smiled. "Sorry. Did I wake you up?"

Yes. "No."

He laughed. "Liar. How late were you guys out last night? You slept in a lot."

"Um..." I eyed the clock on the nightstand. 12:00? Damn. "Pretty late."

"I can tell. So did you want to go out later? It could just be us again. Without the guys," he clarified, as if I didn't understand what "just us" meant. I rolled my eyes.

"Gotcha. You know, just because I just woke up—thanks to _you—_doesn't mean I'm stupid. Clarification isn't necessary. I'm just as quick as I normally am. 'Kay? Clear? Good? Good." I stretched as I spoke, wincing as my sore muscles worked the kinks out of themselves.

"Sure." Fang didn't sound convinced. "I'll give you some time to eat and stuff. When do you want me to pick you up? We can just walk around town for awhile if you're too tired for lunch or dinner or whatever. Go to the beach. Get some shave ice. I don't know."

"Walking around sounds good," I admitted, standing up. I turned to each side and rolled my shoulders and neck. Ugh. So stiff. "I'll just grab a water and freshen up. Could you be here in twenty?"

"Oh...yeah, cool."

"You sound surprised," I said suspiciously as I walked over to my dresser. I pulled open a drawer and started rummaging around. Ooh, swimsuit! "Is the beach good?"

"Well, we don't have to go right away if you're tired," he said, sounding uncertain.

"I repeat: is the beach good? I'm fine, Fang. I'll just have a cup of coffee. Presto change-o. It's all good."

He sighed into the phone. "Okay. I'll be there in twenty. I can't promise a fancy car this time, though. I had to return it. They don't take kindly to people stealing their expensive Porsches and Volvos, you know?"

"It was a BMW," I reminded him with a laugh. I grabbed the swimsuit and threw it onto the bed along with a couple of other items. "And I know. Just walk over and we'll head out."

"Sounds perfect."

"I am."

"You are."

I blushed at the compliment. "Down, boy. See you in a bit."

"Bye, beautiful," my boyfriend replied before hanging up. I closed my eyes and leaned against the dresser. I _so _didn't deserve him. He was way too good for me. And this was too good to be true. Sighing, I grabbed my chosen clothes—not picked out by Nudge, for once—and made my way to the bathroom. I needed a serious overhaul to get presentation-worthy in twenty minutes. And what better way than a shower? As I entered, I caught sight of Nudge's special "no frizz" shampoo and conditioner on the counter. Oh, what the hell.

I grabbed the bottles and stepped into the shower, pulling the handle onto a warm setting. My muscles relaxed instantly at the steady, massage-like spray of the water. I lathered up my hair and rinsed it as quickly as I could. By the time I was out and dried, the mirror was completely fogged up. Working quickly, I wrapped a fluffy towel around my torso and sprinted out into my room to check the clock. Nudge was waiting for me.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, jumping about twenty feet in the air. She rolled her eyes. "You had to scare me to get my attention? I thought that was beneath you."

"Just making sure you had an outfit picked out," she told me casually. I held up my armful of clothes, and she examined them closely before nodding her approval. Then she waltzed back into the hallway. "Hurry up. Better not keep him waiting."

"He's _early?_" I practically shrieked. Way to go, Max. Get _everyone's _attention. I huffed in frustration at myself and slammed the door, working to get my outfit on as fast as humanly possible. I managed to get all my clothes on and check them out quickly in the mirror—a cute black tankini and a loose, translucent black tunic for a cover-up **(AN: Pictures on profile)**—before throwing on my favorite flip-flops and sprinting down the stairs. I nearly fell flat on my face as I stopped quicker than my legs wanted at the bottom, but I saved myself at the last minute. No one was there.

I'd been tricked.

"Nudge!" I yelled, storming into the kitchen. She was sitting on the counter, eating some cold cereal. Ella was sitting at the table, working at something on her laptop. They both looked up when I entered the room. "What the hell? What was that for?"

"To get you up," she said simply, giving me a once-over. "You look great. I didn't think you'd be able to put a decent outfit together, but you did. Nice job."

I rolled my eyes, but decided to admit defeat. There was no way I'd be able to win one argument against her, let alone two. And besides. Why not just let her think what she liked? But really. How did she think I got along before I met her?

Ah, the dark times.

Before I could think of any sort of real out-loud retort, though, the doorbell rang. _Fang. _I sprinted there and stood for a moment to collect myself. Then I opened to door as coolly as I could. The sight greeting me struck me speechless.

It was Fang, obviously. He was wearing a pair of black boardshorts and a black tee with the words "I'm Not Afraid—Eminem" written on the front. And it wasn't just his clothes. The fabric seemed to cling to every muscle of his perfectly toned chest, which I couldn't stop staring at. He was _gorgeous._

"Hey," he greeted, breaking me out of my trance. The little smirk he had on his face made my face flush; he'd noticed my preoccupation. To make up for it, I stretched up on my toes and gave him a short kiss on the lips. His hands found my hips, and he wrapped an arm around my waist after we broke apart. I smiled at him.

"Hey yourself," I teased, remembering his own words earlier. His chest rumbled as he laughed.

"You ready to go?" he asked, and I nodded. He grinned and swung me around so I was standing on his right side as we walked away from the house. It was all done so smoothly I had to blink a couple of times to clear my head. I felt his lips on my hair and leaned my head against his shoulder. He chuckled. "And I thought you wouldn't miss me."

"I always miss you," I informed him, unwrapping myself from his arm. Instead, I offered him my hand, which he took without hesitation.

"That's nice to hear. I missed you, too." We walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, until I heard the sound of the ocean over the people talking. I tugged on Fang's hand to get him to walk faster.

"Hurry up, slowpoke!" I joked, and he rolled his eyes.

"I'm never racing you again," he said wryly. "So don't try to get me riled up. I'll dump you in the ocean."

I smirked at him as our feet hit sand and Waikiki Beach came into view. "You wouldn't."

He growled playfully and raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't I?"

"Nope," I said, popping the _p. _Before I knew what was happening, Fang was leaping at me and scooping me up in his arms. I tried to gather my breath as we sprinted to the water, but by the time I felt I might be able to whisper something, I was airborne and headed straight for the ice-cold water. And then I was in it, doing somersaults and cartwheels and flips until my head finally broke the surface and I sucked in as much air as I could. I swore and flipped the wet hair out of my eyes.

"Fang!" I shouted, grabbing his leg. He was doubled over laughing. Mistake. A quick tug by yours truly and he was down. Now _I _was laughing. "I'm all wet, idiot! Now I have to go dry off somehow!"

"You didn't bring a towel?" he asked, sounding amused despite his tumble. His hair, normally lightly gelled, now hung in ragged disarray around his face, water droplets dripping steadily from the ends. I watched them in fascination. How was it possible for someone to look so sexy and be so amazingly sweet at the same time? "Max?"

"No." I regretfully tore my gaze away from his hair and moved it to his face. "What do we do now?"

Fang tilted his head thoughtfully, obviously coming up with options. I sighed and got to my feet, wringing the water out of my coverup. Ugh. Nudge would have absolutely _died _if she'd seen this whole scene. Wet clothes—blasphemy.

"Waiting," I reminded my boyfriend, who looked at me and smiled before offering his hand. Deciding to let bygones be bygones, I took it. I know, I know. I'm a wonderfully forgiving person. It's just in my genes.

I stood up with Fang's help and tossed my limp, soaking wet hair over my shoulder. Then I shifted my weight to my right leg and put my hand on my hip, raising my eyebrow as if waiting for an answer. Oh, what do you know? I was.

"Let's just hit the sidewalk and see where it takes us," he suggested, taking my hand again. I smiled and followed him. I could be doing anything with him at any time of day, I realized, and I would be completely content. It was an alien feeling, but an inviting one. I'd never had this sort of take-it-slow, take-it-easy, feel-good-about-it type of relationship before. And it felt nice. I liked it. I liked it a lot.

"Okay."

O_-_-_-_O

"Oh, my God! Look at that thing!" I was in absolute hysterics as I gaped at the monstrosity on the mannequin in the window. Fang was right behind me with his hands wrapped around my waist. The rumble in his chest that sounded suspiciously like chuckling made me think he agreed. We were window-shopping in the best way possible; looking for fashion don'ts. Ah, the joy. It'd started out as an innocent walk with shave ice...but then we'd seen the ugliest sausage-like dress in a window, and we knew what _we'd_ be doing for the next hour and a half.

"What about that one?" Fang pointed across the street at a strange-looking pink number, and I ran to the curb instantly, leaving him behind for a moment before he could catch up with me. The light for the crosswalk came on, and I all but sprinted across the street to get a better look. It _was _pretty ugly. Light pink with dark pink smudge-like leopard print all over it. There was a tacky, white gauze rose on the single strap that screamed "rip me!" to all who danced with the ugly mannequin. At least, it did to me.

"Pretty bad," I assented. Then I took Fang's hand and led him down the street to look at some more offending fashion mistakes that would have Nudge writhing around on the ground in agony. "Ooh, look at this!"

I pointed to a white dress that actually would have been pretty nice...if it hadn't been cut in such a way that its wearer's _chest _would be all but exposed. Fang laughed at my expression before asking, "Do you know what kind of store this is?"

A...stripper store? I looked up to see the name. Oh. _Betty's Bridal._

"Bridal dresses," I stated dumbly. I looked at some of the other dresses displayed in the store front, including a couple of really pretty ones. There was one in particular, though, that really struck me as beautiful. It was a strapless, white lace number, the skirt falling in perfect tiers that I was sure would highlight anyone's figure, no matter how big or small. A simple veil accompanied it on the life-like mannequin standing in the window.

"That one's really nice," Fang said, squeezing my hand and pointing at the one I was looking at. I turned to smile at him.

"I like it, too." There was a silence after my words, but it wasn't as comfortable as the ones I was used to with Fang. Why was that?

I guess I knew. It was probably because I was here with my boyfriend of...what, a few days? And we were standing in front of a freaking _bridal shop. _Talking about _bridal dresses. _And _agreeing. _But no big deal, right? He wasn't hinting anything. We'd hardly been dating. Ugh. This relationship was really moving fast. A giggle of hysteria slipped out of my mouth at the thought of meeting, going out, and getting married to a guy in a week. But he wasn't just a guy. He was _Fang. _Not that I'd ever marry him. At least...not for a long, _long _time.

I shifted my gaze to check out some of the other dresses. A few of them were colored...purple and pink and even a blue one. Something for everyone. Even non-virgins. My throat closed up a little bit at that thought. Shit. Was I blushing? No. I only did that when I was embarrassed. Not that I wasn't embarrassed. It was just...

My breathing hitched and I felt my throat close up. No. Not here. Not now. No. _Nononono. Stop it, Max!_

But I couldn't. The memories were already flooding back. I closed my eyes and waited for them to end, but they didn't. My heartbeat became amplified, and it pounded in my ears. All I could see behind my eyelids was Dylan and blonde hair, blue eyes. Evil, drug-induced smirk. Predatory, almost. This image sent a flurry of panic to my brain, which immediately short-circuited. I couldn't shut down now, though. I had to stay strong. I had to fight this. It would pass. Why wasn't it letting me go?

"_Now, now, Max," he breathed, looking down at me. I felt broken, lying on the floor in a pool of my own blood. "Why are you making this so hard? I know you want me as much as I want you, baby. Just go with it. You'll feel much better."_

"Max? Are you okay?" Fang's voice brought me back to the present, and my eyes snapped open. I gasped at the pressure on my hand, realizing too late that it was Fang's hand. He pulled away and stepped back, giving me room.

"Okay?" I echoed weakly. No. I wasn't okay. Not in the slightest. I felt nauseous. I was sweating...my hands felt clammy. I clapped my palm to my cheek and felt the extreme heat, despite the fact that I wasn't blushing. Dammit. "Um...yeah. I just...I need some water or something. Bathroom."

I lurched into the store in front of me to get to a restroom. I really didn't want to throw up on the beautiful Hawaiian sidewalk. Or on Fang. Or on the floor of a bridal shop. I needed a bathroom. Somewhere to cool down, shake off this freak-out. But as soon as I stepped inside, the white overpowered me. Taunted me. There was lace everywhere—on racks, on the walls...there were some dresses even dangling from the cereal. There was a small corner with colored dresses, but they didn't compute. Too much white. White. Virgin. Oh, fuck...

A saleslady was eying me doubtfully, and I stumbled over to her.

"Bathroom?" I managed, and she pointed quickly. I threw myself in the general direction of her finger and fell through a door. I heard a ringing sound. Someone had entered the store. Almost immediately, I heard Fang's voice ask where I was. The saleswoman said something, and I assumed she was telling him I was in the ladies room. I ran into a stall and slammed it, feeling like I would hurl. What was he doing? Why wouldn't he leave me alone? I would be _fine._

Now if only I could convince myself.

The door to the bathroom opened, and I heard footsteps, along with the cry, "Sir! You can't go in there!"

"Max?" Fang asked, sounding worried. He was ignoring her. "Are you okay?"

I couldn't answer him. I didn't want to throw up. I didn't want to scream. I just wanted this shit to be over.

"_There, see? That wasn't so hard." He smirked at me as he zipped his fly, and I stared at him in utter horror, trying to get my breathing under control. My legs hurt like fire from being separated so forcefully, and I could feel the blood from everywhere pooling around me. "Ready to go again?"_

I opened the stall door as quickly as I could. Too close. The area was too small. Claustrophobia began to set in. I had to get out of here. But my plans were squelched when Fang grabbed my shoulders and shook me slightly. Too close. _Too close too close too close..._

"Get..." I struggled to get away from him, but he didn't let go. "Get your hands off of me!"

Fang stared at me, his expression some mixture of indecision, confusion, and worry. "Max, what's wrong?" He shook me again. "What can I do?"

I couldn't do this. Why was he touching me? All I could think about was Dylan. Dylan, Dylan, _Dylan. _Why did he have to do this? Who was I talking about? Everything seemed to tilt at a strange angle, and I realized I was falling. Fang's arms tightened around me, and every nerve ending in my body suddenly went on red alert. Alarms went off in my head. _Danger! Shutting down all systems..._no. No, I couldn't. I wouldn't. _Fight it!_

"Just leave me the fuck alone, Fang!" I screamed, throwing my hands onto his chest and pushing him away with all my might. My breathing was ragged and distorted, and my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest. I tried to close my eyes to calm myself, but all I saw was blonde hair and blue eyes. Dylan. I felt like I was going to retch.

"What the hell did _I _do?" my boyfriend yelled back at me, retreating slightly with his arms up. "I'm only trying to help, Max! I thought maybe I could talk some sense into you before you ran off, but apparently you're too stupid to realize who your enemy is!"

My breath caught in my throat, and my mind started screaming at me in an unintelligible tongue. A red haze seemed to seep over my vision, painting the world in fire. "What?" I shrieked, grabbing the nearest thing I could find—my phone, as it happened—and chucking it at Fang. It hit him square in the chest, and he recoiled. "Fuck you! I haven't done anything wrong! I haven't...I can't..." I realized with stunning conviction that I was crying, and I furiously wiped the tears away. But it was too late. The fire was receding.

"Max, I..." Fang seemed to be at a loss for words. Good. I drew in a shaky breath and pointed as firmly as I could to the door. His eyes widened, and I felt some of the anger come back. Why couldn't he just get the fucking message?

"Get out, Fang," I ordered, my voice sounding darker than I'd thought it would. He took a step toward me, in the opposite direction of the door. Not a good sign. I tensed.

"I'm sorry," he said, walking over to me slowly like I was a cornered wild animal. I backed away. Now I really was cornered. Not good. Not good. My eyes shot around the room anxiously, and I felt bile rising up in my throat. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Predatory smirk. Blonde hair...

"Get away," I whispered, already shutting down. I was mentally halfway gone, my mind curling in on itself. Why couldn't I fight? Why couldn't I run? Why was I just fucking sitting here so that he could have his way with me? Why couldn't I fucking MOVE? "Get away."

Fang was closer now. Closer than I wanted him to be. He reached out, and I shrunk away from his hand as much as I could, my back hitting the wall. Oh, shit. _Shit_. He was watching me like he was afraid I was going to run away. My mind screamed. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. Instead I fell to the floor, trying to embrace the blackness that so wanted to wash over me. But it was being merciless. I was all too aware that Fang had rushed to my side, picked me up in his arms. He shook me, and finally I willed myself to scream.

"Get off of me!" I screeched as loud as I could, and we both jumped at the noise. There were black spots in the corners of my vision, a moment too late. I couldn't leave now. I'd never made it this far. I'd never screamed, not ever. But the arms constricted me tighter, and I watched Dylan's face turn into something horrible, something animal. His floppy, dirty-blonde hair hung over his forehead, and he flipped a chunk out of his face with a flick of his head. His blue eyes seemed to see right through me. I hated him. I screamed.

"Max, calm down," the bastard had the nerve to tell me, looking around nervously. "Shh, it's okay."

_"It's okay, Max," Dylan crooned, stroking my hair. "Shh, baby. It's okay. No one's here but us. I promise we'll have some fun. Remember my friends? They want to meet you. Just be a good girl and you won't get hurt. I promise. Calm down, baby."_

"Max, stay with me. You're okay. Nudge and Ella are going to be here in a minute. Just calm down. It's okay. I'm so sorry, angel..."

I sucked in a deep breath after my first scream, but it took effort because he was strangling me. I couldn't see. I couldn't feel anything except for the pounding in my chest. Why wouldn't he move? Why wouldn't he get the hint? Why wouldn't he leave me the fuck alone?

"Dylan," I croaked, finally taking the blackness. "Dylan, you're hurting me..."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: A huge word of apology to all of you fans out there. This is Yang, for those of you who didn't read the warning earlier. Yin and I are both stressed to the extreme (my best friend was recently beaten within an inch of her life by her now ex), and from what I understand, Yin's way behind on some work. So I finally got her to e-mail this chappie to me and I finished it. Not sure exactly where she was going with the scene in your sneak peek, but I'm sure she'll be happy to explain it in the next chapter. I did the best I could with what I had. Thanks to all of you just tuning in and those of you who have been with us from the beginning; I'm glad to have you. I promise from now on that there will be updates every Monday. No exceptions. Previews to all reviewers for this chappie.**

**Alrighty, then. Au revoir, peace-lovers, and I'll see you again tomorrow.**

**-YAY**


	20. Chapter XX: Perfect Bond

**WARNING: This chapter was, in part, written by me (Yang). It contains language—as per usual—as well as a graphic and very sensual scene. If you don't like limes, don't read this chapter after the break. It will be summarized in the next chapter, so don't worry about missing crucial plot line information. _There may be a sort-of lemon in this chapter. _Explicit content it present. Proceed with caution.**

**CHAPTER XX**

***FANG POV***

I had no idea what the fuck had just happened. One minute Max and I were standing outside, window-shopping at her suggestioin, and the next I was being cussed out by the same girl on the verge of a breakdown. Okay, screw that. She was in the _middle _of a fucking breakdown.

As Max shrunk in on herself, I knew I had to do something. But what? The only other time I'd ever seen her like this had been oh-so-many days ago at the beach, and I'd done nothing but stand by helplessly as she collapsed in a fit. Oh, God. What if something happened to her now? Would I be able to live with myself? No. I knew that for certain. But then what could I do? What had calmed her down before? Her friends? Nudge and Ella! They'd know what to do.

Whipping out my cell, I quickly sent a multi-recipient text that would hopefully do enough explaining...or at least get their attention. _As long as they're not in the middle of something, _I thought grimly as I keyed the message in and smashed the "send" button.

**SOS. Max. Betty's Bridal.**

Then I stepped forward and tried to reach out to Max. Maybe if I didn't move quickly, she wouldn't panic. Okay, stupid plan. She immediately recoiled, even letting out a small whimper. It was probably subconscious; nothing seemed to register on her face except for fear and—scariest of all—a growing sort of peace. Well, not peace, exactly. More like...recognition. Or resignation. Like she knew something was going to happen and she was shutting down so she wouldn't have to face it. I reached for her again and took her shoulders. She started trembling like a leaf. _Oh, my God. _Did she think I was going to...?

"Get..." Max choked. She struggled to get away, but I was frozen on the spot. I couldn't believe what was happening. Oh, fuck. She thought I was going to _hit her? _What had I done to make her think that I would do something so horrible, so heinous? "Get your hands off of me!"

If she could only tell me what was wrong, what I could do. There had to be some way to help her snap out of this. I'd always heard throwing someone in a cold shower has the desired effect, but there weren't any showers handy. Besides, _throwing_ a girl obviously having some trouble with physical contact probably wouldn't be a good idea. Shit. _Think, Fang, think..._

I shook her slightly, not enough to hurt her. "Max, what's wrong?" I could feel panic rising in me as her eyes glazed over. _Don't leave me now, Max. _"What can I do?"

Her eyes gave only fear and indecision away as they scanned the room, scanned my face...they seemed to take in everything but see nothing. It was like they were only seeing what she didn't want to see, and that was just spurring her on. All of a sudden her spine stiffened and, afraid that she might pass out or something, I tightened my hold on her shoulders. She jerked back quickly, and so fast I didn't see it coming, her hands were on my chest, pushing me away.

"Just leave me the fuck alone, Fang!" she shouted in my face as I fell backwards slightly, caught off guard. I stumbled and righted myself. Now she just looked mad; the scared, cornered Max seemed to be gone. I felt a rush of unexplainable anger at this fact. Now she was blaming _me _for her freakout?

"What the hell did _I _do?" I asked, sounding a little more sarcastic than I'd intended. And the small space made my voice echo so it sounded like I was yelling. But I didn't care. Max wanted to be angry at me? Fine. Two could play at that game. "I'm only trying to help, Max!"

She paused like she was still listening to what I was saying. Then it was as if she was a puppet and someone had just yanked all of her strings upwards.

"_What?" _Max shrieked. I saw her hand go to her pocket, and before I could comprehend anything, her phone was flying at me. I didn't have time to step away, so I let it hit me in the chest. I didn't move to get it as it hit the ground with a clatter. The impact hadn't hurt, but the reason behind the throwing stung like hell. Because _I'd _been the one to cause it. _I'd _gotten Max so riled up that she'd had to fucking _throw _something at me to get me to stop. But her tirade continued. "Fuck you! I haven't done anything wrong!" Her voice started getting weaker. "I haven't...I can't..."

I noticed then that, to my utmost horror, tears were welling in her eyes. One of them broke free and it was like the floodgates had been opened. She wiped a hand over her face as a blush heated her cheeks. She was embarrassed? As the salty water ran down her cheeks, her demeanor seemed to shrink. She was receding again; she'd lost her anger. Now the terrified look was back, like she was afraid I would punish her or something for crying.

"Max, I..." Max, I _what? _What did "I"? I had no words for this. Something was seriously wrong here. I felt a buzz in my pocket; my phone. I didn't have to look at it to know that Nudge and Ella were on their way.

"Get out, Fang." Max's voice, stronger than I'd expected, made me jump. I looked at her, and her face...it was the face of someone who'd just seen the devil and sold her soul to him. Empty. Dark. Afraid, but unyielding. And she was asking me to leave. I felt all of my emotions rise up in me and then, all at once, disappear. Like someone had just punched me and the pain hadn't come yet. She couldn't mean that. I involuntarily took a step toward her, and she backed away, cornering herself.

"I'm...sorry," I said as quietly as I could, but loudly enough for her to hear me. I took another small half-step toward her so she would I know I wasn't trying to threaten her in any way. Her eyes started moving again, looking everywhere but my face. Who did she think I was? What did she think I was about to do? Hit her? Knock her down? She had to know that I wasn't here to hurt her. I was trying to _save _her, or at the very least protect her. Why couldn't she understand?

"Get away," she whispered, and mouthed it one more time as she squeezed her eyes shut. "Get away."

And then just like that, she was collapsing to the floor, her arms around her head, her knees curled into her chest like she was trying to hit the deck. I rushed forward out of pure instinct and put my arms around her. She didn't fight me, didn't tell me to get away. She just went limp. _Shit. _I couldn't shake her, couldn't yell at her. She would just think I was trying to hurt her again...she would think again, not I would hurt her again. Because I hadn't—and wouldn't ever—hurt her. _Ever._

"Dylan, stop," she murmured, rolling herself into a tighter ball as she lay in my arms. I froze. "Dylan, you're hurting me..."

My heart stopped.

***MAX POV***

"What is _wrong _with her?" A door slammed and a woman's shrill voice rang out. I cringed at the sound. "Get her out of here! Get her to a hospital or something! Quick, before someone comes in here and sees this!"

"Fuck off," a familiar voice snarled. _Ella. _Her soft, velvety voice made her tone sound much darker than it probably needed to be. But it didn't scare me. Nothing scared me anymore. I was in a world where pain was pleasure and I couldn't feel pain. Everything around me was soft, echo-y. Dark, but light. I liked this place. Well, no. That was a lie. I didn't like this place. But I liked it better than the real world, where everything I had could be stolen from me an instant. My belongings. My soul. My fucking _virginity._

It was thoughts like this that always jolted me back into the real world.

My eyes were scrunched closed, and black and white images flashed behind my lids in rapid succession. They were all unrelated, disjointed, except for their main subject. You can probably guess. The asshole who'd caused all this. The one who'd screwed me over, in more ways than one. The one who'd fucked me up until every little thing sent me into a downward spiral, one in which the only way out was to pretend I wasn't alive, wasn't breathing, wasn't feeling. And I hated him. I hated him as he stood above me the first time, smugly triumphant that he'd taken my innocence from me. I hated him as he lay beside me the second time, sleeping almost innocently, his arm around me, almost assuring me that I'd been fine with it the night before. I hated him as he sat next to me the third time, broken down and apologizing, tears streaming down his face.

I _hated _him.

Three strikes, you're out, fucker.

Someone had me up then, off the floor. My eyes opened immediately, bile rising in my throat. Dylan. He'd come to get me. No. Not Fang, too. And Ella and Nudge. All of my friends. My family. On our vacation. No. _No!_

I started thrashing before the pain in my shoulder registered. The familiar pinching feeling startled me out of the dark world I had entered. I swore and pushed away whoever was trying to keep me upright as I rubbed my arm. I could stand well enough on my own, thank you. My eyes opened and color seeped back into my vision, painting the world the way it was supposed to look. Objects returned to their original proportions. As everything slowly corrected itself, I felt my wall build up again...and I reinforced it with the lead of my will. Embarrassment colored my cheeks as I ran a hand along my wet cheek.

Fuck.

What was wrong with me? I'd ruined yet another day when I was supposed to be on vacation...and I'd dragged down my friends' days as well. So what did this say about me? Well. That much was pretty obvious. Something was deeply, deeply wrong with me. No one in the world besides me had these sort of problems. I was alone. Completely and utterly alone.

And it was Dylan's fault.

"Max?" Nudge. "Max, are you good now? You with me?"

Ugh. Did I have to talk now?

"Nod if you're back," Ella instructed gently. I blinked, and it was like a switch had been thrown. Everything snapped back into clear focus. I saw the worried faces of my friends, standing by my sides. I avoided the mirror on the wall. I was sure I looked like crap. Fang was nowhere to be seen. I sighed.

"I'm back." My voice sounded rough and gravelly from the tears, and my throat felt like I had swallowed sandpaper. I winced at the raw feeling and cleared my throat. "Where's Fang? Did...did he go home or something?"

My friends understood immediately what I was really asking.

"We thought..." Nudge began. Then she glanced at Ella, who nodded. "We thought it would be best if he left. We didn't...we didn't know how bad it was this time. Or what happened. You're lucky he texted us," she added semi-critically, raising an eyebrow at me. "Not that it was your fault or anything. It's just that he doesn't know how to deal with stuff like this and it could've gone a lot worse, don't you think?"

"Do you want to tell us what happened?" Ella inquired. I shook my head and immediately felt bad.

"Well, yeah," I explained quickly. "Just...not right now. I'm sorry. I don't..." A memory began hacking at the wall, and I squelched it. "I don't want to remember it right now. Maybe...maybe later. Not now."

"Not now," Ella agreed, and I couldn't help but breathe a small sigh of relief. My panic had left me as quickly as it had come. I was fine. Everything was fine. I wouldn't even think his name again. I was positively, absolutely, one-hundred percent almost sure that this whole thing was over...at least for today. But as for right now...I was tired. Exhausted, actually. Crying always left me with a lack of energy and adrenaline. Not that I do it much.

"Can we go home, too?" I asked, trying not to sound whiny. "I think that lady wants us to get out of her bathroom. Plus I look like shit."

"You don't look that bad!" Nudge protested immediately, but I knew she was lying. Ignoring her, I raised an eyebrow at Ella for confirmation on my request. She shrugged in a "whatever" gesture—I knew she wouldn't be this blasé about what had happened if she hadn't noticed my brief attempt at humor—and motioned for me to exit. Just as I was leaving the bathroom, I remembered that my phone was still on the ground from when I'd—er—dropped it. Quickly stooping to pick it up, I noticed that I had one message. Fang.

I sighed and kept walking, shoving the phone and its message in my back pocket. This afternoon would be one hell of time.

._-_-_-_.

"No, you idiot! Take the car! Don't look behind the curtain—take the _car!" _Nudge threw a handful of popcorn at the TV screen. Ella groaned as the kernels tapped the glass and fell to the floor in a sprawled-out mess.

"_You're _the idiot," she informed Nudge. "Know why? 'Cause _you're _the one who's gonna be cleaning that up."

I laughed at my friends' antics and snuggled into the comfort of the sofa more, pulling my blanket around me. It was growing dark outside, and Ella, Nudge, and I were still watching cheesy reruns of _Wheel of Fortune _and _Jeopardy_...I think there was even an _Adam's Family _episode thrown in. About half an hour before this, Nudge had decided to get up and make popcorn. This would have been the best idea ever—I mean, who doesn't like to watch old TV shows with their best friends whilst eating popcorn?—if the girl hadn't decided to use the leftovers pieces as ammo against the idiots onscreen.

"Really, Nudge?" I complained sarcastically. "That's, like, the tenth time in as many minutes. Save some for us!"

Of course, she took a giant handful right then and shoved it into her mouth. "Of course," she said around the food. I rolled my eyes and made a grab for the bowl, but she pulled it out of my reach. No way. She did _not _just try to deny me my popcorn.

"Can't get it," she teased, holding the bowl above my head. Immediately, I lunged at her, knocking her and the popcorn to the floor. She rolled over to get away from me as I scooped up the crumbs and put them in my mouth. "God, Max. If you're trying to flirt with me, just say you like me and get it over with."

I rolled my eyes again. "Whatever, loser." I then hiked up my black spandex shorts—okay, more like panties, of which had "Party With Me" on the rear** (AN: Pictures on profile)**—that were riding dangerously low on my hips. "Ugh. How did you get me to wear this crap again?"

"Would you rather wear denim to sleep?" was her obviously meant-to-be sarcastic reply. I shrugged.

"It's better than a slutty Victoria's Secret ensemble."

"It's not slutty!" Nudge put on a wounded expression. "I'm offended! That's one of my favorite outfits to sleep in...I love VS. Why won't you ever go there with me? Is it 'cause you're embarrassed? You know, a lot of people go there. It's not like shopping in the bra section of Target makes you a whore. So what is it with Victoria's Secret?"

"It's slutty," Ella and I said at the same time. We looked at each other and started laughing. I fingered the shiny, silk-like material of my shirt. I had to admit, it _was _comfy. The shorts, too. Actually, I quite liked the way the whole thing worked...except for the "Pink" shirt. And I had absolutely no idea where the 86 had come from. What kind of number was 86?

"That just goes to show how much taste you guys—_oh, my God! _He took the Goddamn sewing machine!" Nudge exclaimed, in a state of utter horror and madness. "I _told _you not to look behind the curtain, you asshole!"

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Pizza!" Ella sang. She sank into her chair and pulled a blanket over her head. Her muffled voice could barely be heard through the fabric, but I thought I heard, "Max, you get it."

I opened my mouth to protest, but the doorbell rang again. There was no way I would win this battle. And besides, I was hungry from my lack of popcorn due to the popcorn-stealing monster known as Nudge. Groaning, I slouched out of the room and to the door, grabbing ten dollars from the small coffee table on the way. When I reached the door, I grasped the handle and pulled, putting me face to face with—no, not the pizza delivery guy.

Fang.

Well, okay, Fang and friends. I could kind of see Iggy and Sam over his shoulder. He looked at me with a hint of surprise, but then his face turned into one of a kid just caught stealing candy. A bit embarrassed, sheepish, maybe a little guilty. I felt a pang of pity. But what the hell was he doing over here?

"Hey," he greeted, shooting me a small, uncertain smile. I wasn't mad at him; how could I be? He hadn't done anything wrong. But I was embarrassed that he was here, and I could already feel the blush heat my cheeks. He had to be here _now? _Couldn't he just wait for this whole thing to blow over completely? Of course, it wouldn't be any less awkward tomorrow or the next day if we didn't get it over with now, but...

"Hey yourself," I replied, attempting a cheerful tone. I must have succeeded well enough, because relief washed over Fang's face. Iggy coughed from further back.

"Not to rush you guys or anything," he said sarcastically, "but can we step inside? It's not exactly toasty out here."

"And we come bearing gifts!" Sam announced, holding a box over his head. Hmm. Oh, right. Better let them in. I stepped out of the way of the door to allow the guys access, and they immediately surged forward. Wow. And I thought it was getting a bit chilly in here. Weren't they from New York, though? More used to the cold than we were down in Arizona? Well, whatever. They obviously wanted to see us, and I should've been flattered. Maybe I was.

"We have visitors!" I yelled in the general direction of the living room. Nudge squealed, but no one came running. Huh. Oh, _shit. _I suddenly remembered that we were all decked out in chick's-night-in style clothes...AKA comfy shirts, short shorts, etc. Ella was in her sports bra, for crying out loud. I glanced at the guys, all of whom looked especially amused. My blush grew deeper when I realized what I myself was wearing a questionable "for public" outfit. "Erm...'scuse me for a sec. Make yourselves at home."

I dashed into the couch/TV area and looked at my friends frantically, making "what the fuck do I do?" gestures wildly with my arms.

"Well, they've already seen _you,_" Nudge hissed from under her blanket, poking her head out to glare at me. "What, did you even think about warning us before you let them in, idiot? What the hell, Max? How am I supposed to go out there dressed like _this?_"

"Just do it, I guess," Ella sighed suddenly, getting up. "They've seen us in shorts, t-shirts, and bikinis. So what if they see us looking our casual-chic best? Come on, Nudge. It's not Max's fault...really. I mean, it kind of is, but..."

"Is not!" I whispered furiously. "And _I'm _wearing fucking _Victoria's Secret!"_

"So go change if it bugs you so much!" Nudge looked murderous. "I don't care anymore! Just quit bitching about the nice things I try to do for you!"

Ella rolled her eyes. "I'm going."

"Me, too," Nudge piped up innocently. I glared at her. She shrugged. "Let's just all sit down and watch a movie."

"Movies aren't the solution to everything!" I practically shouted, and I was promptly shushed by my two friends. Then I heard footsteps behind me. The wide eyes of my two friends told me all that I needed to know. We'd been spotted.

"I'm down for a movie," Iggy commented, plopping down onto the couch I'd previously been inhabiting. Ella hoisted herself up and gracefully sprawled out next to him, letting her legs fall in his lap. He grinned and looked up at the rest of us backwards. "What say you?"

"If the girls are okay with it," Sam said uncertainly. Nudge smiled at him and pulled him onto the other couch, sitting down next to him.

Now it was just me and Fang, standing in the center of the room awkwardly. _Great. Thanks, guys. Love you, too._

"We'll let you guys talk for awhile," Ella told me. She looked cautious...but urging. "Elsewhere. What movie have you seen like a thousand times? I don't want you to get in a pissy fit about missing the beginning. And I'm not backtracking."

"Just throw something in." Even I could heard the exasperation of my voice. But I was annoyed. So now my friends were trying to get me to break the awkwardness? Really? What kind of friends did they call themselves? Fang was probably scared of me by now...he'd all but run away screaming. What had Ella said? She'd "thought it best for him to leave." Well. That's a nice way of saying she told him to butt out. And now what? She was asking me to fix the damage _by myself? _Angry as all get-out, I stomped out of the room and up the stairs, leaving my friends and a probably very confused Fang behind. When I got to my room, I slammed the door and fell onto my bed face down.

I didn't cry. I didn't scream into a pillow. I just lay there, trying not to think. But all I could see was Fang's face, which made me feel guilty, because I felt sort of like I was playing with him. Which I wasn't. Not at all. I cared about him. I _loved _him, for God's sake. And I knew that. And he knew that. But everything was so messed up..._I _was so messed up. So did that mean we couldn't be together? Did it mean our relationship was just as bad as my relationship with Dylan? No. I refused to believe that.

I was so confused.

A knock at my door awakened me to the outside world. _Wake up, Max, _I thought to myself irritably. What was with me and my drifting off into dreamland lately? "Come in."

Of course, Fang walked in. He stood at the door, holding the handle still, looking like he couldn't quite make up his mind on whether or not he should come in. I really couldn't blame him on that. Who knew when I was going to blow again? That was me. Max the Emotionally Unstable Bomb.

"Can I sit down?" he asked, sounding calmer than I knew I would. I nodded and sat upright, scooting over on my bed. He closed the door and walked over to me, and then perched lightly on the edge so as to give me more room. That little gesture just made me love him even more, if possible. I took a deep breath and made sure my wall was in place before sliding over to him and leaning my head on his shoulder. I inhaled the smell of him. He was like...my drug. Everything about him was so perfect...I wondered if I'd ever be able to let him go. He slid an arm around my shoulders hesitantly and started rubbing my arm.

"Thanks," I whispered against his shoulder. He laughed a little.

"No problem. I thought it would be a little harder to win you over after being such a jerk." He tensed a little bit. "About earlier...I'm really—"

I don't know what came over me right then, but all of a sudden, I had a horrifyingly strong urge to kiss him. So I did. I turned his head and pulled his lips to mine. He didn't have to be sorry. _I _was sorry. So, _so _sorry. It was all my fault that I was so fucked up, and he had no right to accept that responsibility.

He was too shocked to respond at first. Then, when he realized I wasn't just trying to shut him up, he went with it, tightening his arm around me and tilting his head slightly. I felt my toes curl at the feeling kissing him sent through me. It was like being electrocuted...except _good. _So different from anything I felt with anyone before. _No. Stop it! _This was wrong. I couldn't think about Dylan while making out with Fang.

I attempted to pull Fang's face closer to mine. My fingers tangled in his hair, and I broke away for a split second to take a breath before pulling him back to me. Now it was my turn to tilt my head. Tentatively, I licked at Fang's lower lip. A very low moan emanated from his throat, but nobody broke away this time, unlike the last time we'd gotten this far back at the luau. Because this time it felt good. Oh, so good.I pushed myself harder against his chest as he opened his mouth, and our tongues fought for dominance. My back arched at the taste of him, and I moved up so I was kneeling next to him. One of Fang's hands snaked its way down my back to cup my ass, sending shivers up my spine. I moaned at how amazing it felt. Every place he touched me, it was like a live wire traveling straight to my core, where it pooled as if it were molten honey.

We pulled back to breathe again, and Fang moved his mouth to my neck, running his teeth over my collarbone. I moaned again, shivering at his warm touch. It felt incredible, and I moved my hands so I could rake my fingers down his chest. He hissed in a breath and his hand traveled from my ass to my hip. It danced along the edge and ducked around to my inner thigh, making me tremble against him at the sensation. Then he grabbed my leg in his hand and tossed it over his lap so I was straddling him. I wrapped my legs around his midsection and started grinding against him. Immediately, I felt his reaction to my teasing. I grinned and wound my fingers through Fang's hair again, pulling his lips back to mine. He groaned and let his hands grasp my shoulder blades.

"God, Max," he grunted. "Don't stop. Whatever you do, don't stop, baby."

"I won't," I whispered, untangling one of my hands from his hair. I reached down and started palming him through his jeans. The growl he emitted aroused me to the extreme, and I felt myself grow extremely wet. It was killing me how much I wanted him. "Fang..."

"Fuck," he moaned. I looked at his face, into his eyes. And I gasped. They were pitch black...black as night with lust. For _me. _"Say it again."

"Fanggg," I repeated, drawing out the word and trying to make my voice sound husky. It must have worked, because Fang closed his eyes and, with a moan, pulled my lips to his. One of his hands moved from my back to the waist of my shorts, and he played with the elastic there. "Fang, please. _Please._"

"Please what, Max?" he asked, his voice deeper than normal.

"Touch me!" I gasped, bucking against him involuntarily. He hissed and let his long fingers enter the waistband of my shorts. He worked his way down slowly, teasingly, until I couldn't take it anymore. "Fang!"

"I'm touching you," he murmured against my lips. He rang one finger across my slit, and I moaned, my eyelids fluttering. "What else do you want, Max?"

"I...want..." I was gasping for breath. The effect he was having on me was incredible; it was like no feeling ever before. "Finger-fuck me, Fang. I want to feel your fingers inside me."

"Fuck," Fang groaned. "You're so wet for me, baby."

His fingers circled my clit before allowing one to enter, and I gasped and shivered at the sensation. He slowly started to build a rhythm, and I heard myself moan every few seconds. My hand continued to touch Fang through his jeans, and he was gritting his teeth, his face taught. I knew he was holding out for something. For me. Oh, God. That thought alone made me grow wetter. Fang added another finger, and I made a sound I can assure you I have never made before in all my life.

"You make the hottest sounds, Max," Fang grunted, his hips thrusting to meet my hand. I moved my hand away for a second, and Fang's fingers immediately stop. Then I was on my back, Fang above me. He was looking me right in the eye.

"Take them off," I managed, and he groaned before rolling over. I quickly slipped my shorts down, leaving my without anything on my lower half, and his pants were off, revealing the biggest endowment I'd ever seen. At least, through his boxers. I made quick work of those before he pulled his shirt off, allowing me to gaze down at his perfectly toned muscles, his wonderfully-made abs. I was able to run my hand down his chest before he growled and flipped me over, pulling off my shirt. Fang looked down at me hungrily, taking in my chest, my hips, my legs...everything. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, I put a hand over my breasts to obstruct his view, but his hand stopped me.

"You're beautiful," he murmured. "Don't hide yourself."

His fingers soon found their place again, and this time, he added another one. I saw stars every time his wonderful hands pounded into me. I reached down and grasped his cock, running my hand down the length of it.

"I'm going to lose it if you don't stop," he growled. "I'm going to make you come twice before I do."

He knocked my hand out of the way and thrust his fingers in deeper, deeper...I had to hold back a scream of ecstasy as my first orgasm in months ripped through me, making fireworks explode behind my eyes. But Fang didn't stop. He continued his thrusts until my sensitive clit made me dive over the edge again. I threw my head into Fang's shoulder to muffle the shout.

"I love you," I gasped as I came down from my high. "God, I love you so much, Fang."

"I love you, too," he whispered. His hand reached out and delicately pushed some of the hair behind my ear. "More than you'll ever know."

We lay there for a moment in silence. Then I pushed him over onto his back, grinning. "Now it's your turn."

I made him come twice into my hand before we were both lying on the bed in each other's arms, still naked. I might've felt embarrassed...if I was with anyone else but Fang right now. But everything was so perfect, so peaceful...it was like we'd just _really _bonded for the first time, despite the fact that there was no actual sex. I wasn't ready for _that _yet. I'd gotten to this base before, and yet it hadn't ever felt the same way it did now. _Perfect._ That was my new favorite word.

"Fang," I sighed, my eyes closed as I leaned my head against his chest. He hummed in acknowledgment. "The door's unlocked."

"Let them see us."

"Not likely." I laughed. "Get cleaned up and put some clothes on. They're probably wondering where we are."

Fang sighed but rolled over so he could get up. "Guess so." He started for the bathroom.

"Fang?" I called right before he entered. He stopped and turned around, leaning again the door frame. I looked at his eyes, still dark, but not quite as black. They were less...animal now. But somehow just as _perfect. _"I love you."

He chuckled. "I love you, too."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Awww. Did you like this chappie? This is Yang, by the way...Yin refuses to read the graphic scene, and putting an AN at the bottom of the story requires possibly seeing some of it, so she said no way. Anyway. This was my first published sort-of lemon, so hope you like. Constructive criticism is welcome...and necessary! Let me know how I can get better, guys! Sorry about no sneak peek, but I updated today, so I guessed it would be kind of useless. Hope you liked, I _promise _sneak peeks for next chapter to all who review, and I'll see you next Monday: Halloween! Yayy! =D**

**A bientot, peace-lovers! Until next time...**

**-YAY**


	21. Chapter XXI: Parasailing With Perfection

**CHAPTER XXI**

I woke up to the smell of Fang and the sound of a catchy theme song. _Mission Impossible. _Numero dos, of course. I lay still for a moment, trying to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. A normal awakening for once; no screaming, no crying, no creepy-crawly-freaky-scary feeling in my gut. What a welcome change.

Fang and I were lying on our sides on one of the couches surrounding the TV, spooning. One of his arms was draped lazily over my stomach, and it hung over the edge of our couch. I smiled to myself at the sound of my boyfriend's even breathing before looking around. Iggy and Ella were on the other couch in a position similar to ours, and Nudge and Sam—stuck with the chair—were completely intertwined in one another.

_Figures._

I reached my hand behind me drowsily, and my fingers brushed lightly against Fang's hair. He hummed deep in his throat before tightening his arm around my middle. I suppressed a giggle as the couch shifted and Fang's lips met the back of my neck.

"That was the best awakening I think I could've asked for," he informed me thoughtfully, drowsily. I made a show of turning over so we were facing each other. My hands, slightly fisted, were pressed between us. He smiled lazily at me. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." I was full-out beaming by this point. It was just...this _feeling. _I mean, I wasn't a total newb with guys. I'd dated. I'd even gone steady. But this was the best feeling I'd ever experienced in my entire life. I hadn't felt this way with anyone. Ever. Not in my entire life. And it wasn't the least bit scary or intimidating. It just felt _right. _For the first time in my life, I was having a good—no, _perfect—_relationship, and I wasn't even freaking out. Everything was so much better this way. So much better than..._no._

Fang felt me stiffen and he pulled away immediately. Well, as much as he could, anyway. Great. Way to scare him off, Max.

"Nothing you did," I sighed, sitting up and letting my legs cross as I turned around again. Fang did the same behind me, and moved his arms around my waist as he kissed the side of my neck. I rolled my shoulders and sighed in satisfaction. Like I said. Perfect.

"Before you guys get too hot and heavy," a voice said sarcastically, "do you mind if I leave the room?"

"Shut up, Igs," I retorted cleverly. Fang chuckled against my neck. Then I realized what exactly he was doing. _"Fang!"_ I pulled away and ran my hand over the place he'd been kissing-slash-nipping and glared at him. _Shit._

"What?" Fang asked innocently. My glare turned into a death stare.

"A hickey?" was my incredulous reply. "A fucking _hickey?"_

"Yup," he said, popping the "p." I reached back and slapped his side lightly, so he'd know I wasn't actually pissed off. But I _was _irked. And...flattered. Strangely enough, it felt good that Fang was willing to—er-mark me as his girlfriend in such a way. Kind of cute, I guess. Then again, it was also sort of whorish that I should think such a thing was cute. So maybe I was whorish. I was in love, and I'd just gotten a fucking _hickey._

"Gross," Iggy moaned. I glanced over at him and saw him sit up. Ella's eyes almost immediately popped open at the movement.

"How come you get to wake up in the cutest, most romantic way possible, and I'm stuck with a crick in my neck?" she grumbled. I laughed lightly at her scowl, realizing that she'd been awake for much longer than she'd been letting on.

"Because my boyfriend is better than your crick?" I pretended to guess. Fang set his chin on top of my head and started playing with some random strands of my hair. I really did love this feeling. And really...I'd never gotten this far with someone before, this feeling-comfortable thing. A week or so ago I would've been cringing away from any such contact. Now I was actually _enjoying _it.

Stupid hormones.

Suddenly there was a small stir from the recliner, and Nudge sat up abruptly. "Wassup? Whossere?" Sam didn't seem to notice. He was out like a light. Nudge looked around the room, taking everything in. Almost at once, I saw her gaze lock in on my position with Fang, her expression snapping to wide awake in an instant. A slow smile spread across her face, and she said casually, almost flippantly, "Hey, Max. Can I talk to you for a second? Upstairs? With Ella?"

I briefly contemplated ignoring her request so I could stay in Fang's warm embrace for just a little longer, but that would probably only lead to extreme physical pain for me...and possibly Fang, depending upon Nudge's fatigue level. Sighing, I loosened Fang's arms and got to my feet.

"Thanks. This won't take long." Nudge led the way up the stairs, Ella and I trailing her dutifully. When we got upstairs, Nudge whirled on me with the biggest shit-eating grin I'd ever seen on her face. "Tell me everything!"

I stepped back automatically, confused. About what? I hadn't had any nightmares last night, at least as far as I could remember. Was she referring to my breakdown? No. Not even Nudge was cruel enough to bring that up at such an early hour...and with such an eager look on her face.

"What are you talking about?" I inquired, genuinely puzzled. She face-palmed.

"Max, you haven't stopped smiling since you and Fang went upstairs to talk last night," Ella informed me. "And you seem totally fine when he touches you. What did he say to you? Is there something you want to tell us?"

I opened my mouth to reply but, drawing a blank, quickly closed it again. Nudge's eyes grew wide.

"Ohmigod!" she squealed. "They totally did it! You did, didn't you? God, I totally called it! You know you've stopped blushing, right? You used to do that every time he touched you. Dead giveaway. Oh, my fucking God! Max had _sex!"_

Speaking of blushing. "Did not!"

"You definitely did," Nudge insisted. "Totally. How was it? Did he—"

"Eew, Nudge!" I giggled like a teenager. "No details while the guys are still here. More later. And it wasn't real sex, Nudge. Promise. I would've told you."

I remembered the night before and smiled to myself. It had been so perfect...fueled by hormonal lust at first, probably, but I couldn't bring myself to regret letting it get that far. And for me, this was a fucking milestone in my life as well as my relationship with Fang.

"You'll tell all later," Nudge promised in the utmost serious tone. I smirked at her.

"Jealous?" I teased.

"Very," she admitted.

"I'm here, too, you know." Ella crossed her arms in annoyance. "And the guys are still downstairs. To get the subject away from Max's alleged sex life, I have to ask something. Why couldn't you have gone on your breakfast-making spree today, O Great and Powerful Nudge?"

In response, Nudge stuck out her tongue. Okay, it was official. We were reverting to high-school-and-before behavior. Ha.

_Teenagers._

._-_-_-_.

"No! No _way! _Are you fucking serious?" I looked critically the papers in my hands, holding them as tightly as I might million dollar bills. They were a little smaller than plane boarding passes, but much, _much _more exciting. And not because they were colored like hippie love vans. I glanced at Fang's face, his mouth drawn up in a smile of anticipation. "Really? Parasailing?"

"Sam knows a guy," Fang informed me vaguely. Then he shot me his famous crooked grin. "It's kind of the reason we came to Hawaii. They were best friends until Sam moved away to go to college on the mainland with us." He rolled his eyes. "Idiot."

"Personally, I'm flattered," Iggy laughed. He sat next to Ella, who had her head on his shoulder. We were all on the beach, eating sandwiches atop colorful beach blankets in a quickly-prepared picnic by the guys. None of us had noticed the slips of paper shoved into the bottom of the wicker basket that would determine our mood for days to come. Now that we were finishing up our lunch and we were all on a sort of post-meal high, this ordeal was positively invigorating. I mean _parasailing? _Who woulda thunk? "You must really like us, Sam."

"I left for the college, not for you." The aforementioned shoved the last of his sandwich into his mouth.

"You lived in Hawaii?" Nudge questioned. She looked appropriately abashed. I could see the question in her eyes: _And I wasn't informed of this _why_?_

"Born and raised," Sam informed us. "Actually, I originally moved to the mainland because that's where my foster parents were. That's when I was twelve. Then I was adopted by my current parents, and I just kind of decided to stay when I was accepted at the university. New York has its perks."

I felt a pang of pity at his story. I'd lost my own dad pretty early in my life, but not early enough that I couldn't remember him. But adoption? For a twelve year old? That must've been fucking hell on earth.

"Anyway," he went on, "my best friend here was a kid named Kaikane." He pronounced it _ki-KHAN-ee. _"We got in touch again a couple of years ago. He goes by Kai now, and he runs his own parasailing and water skiing business called Kai's Waterworks. He told me a while back that if I ever visited, he'd hook me and any friends up with lessons and unlimited rides. So I phoned him yesterday about you guys and, according to him, he'll be happy to let us all hang with him for the rest of today."

There was silence for a moment before Nudge pounced.

"Dude!" she exclaimed. "We're going freaking _parasailing? _This is fucking epic!"

I laughed at her enthusiasm. "So when are we leaving?"

"Anytime you want, I guess." Sam threw his empty sandwich baggie into the picnic basket, and everyone else followed suit. My head was reeling. Sure, I'd heard of parasailing before. But I'd also heard of zip-lining and sky-diving before, and that didn't mean I ever though I'd do _them. _I didn't know what I was supposed to do, what I was supposed to wear, or even if this guy was legit. But he was Sam's friend, and Sam was Fang's friend, and I trusted Fang. Besides. It would be fun.

"Can we go now?" I asked eagerly. Fang put his hand on my head, and I realized I'd actually been bouncing up and down.

"No!" Nudge looked horror stricken. "You can't go parasailing in _that!_"

I looked down at my clothes and realized that, however much I hated to admit it, she was right. My clothes—a gray/white patterned tank and jeggings** (POP)**—wouldn't be able to withstand much walking around, let alone flying around in the air and/or plunging into the ocean. Nudge and Ella weren't much better off.

"We can go back to let you guys change," Fang assured her. I looked at him. He wasn't the most readable person on the planet, but I'd come to see that even slight actions on his part such as a slight set to his jaw or a little light in his eyes could mean he was really nervous or really angry or really surprised or—in this case—really excited. I smiled and let my lips touch his briefly before standing and brushing the sand off my butt.

"What are we waiting for?" I asked my friends. "Let's go!"

Nudge and Ella immediately sprang into action, grabbing all of our stuff in record time. We practically sprinted back to the cottage, leaving our boyfriends dazed. They didn't bother following us as they got their own things together; they would most likely wait where they were or go back to their own cottage to wait for us. Sam especially knew not to bug us while Nudge's fashionista side was on the loose.

"Max!" Nudge screamed as I walked through the door. She was already upstairs, being the little whirling dervish she always was when she got worked into a frenzy. She sprinted down the stairs and threw a pile of clothes at me. "Try these on! Hurry!"

I singled out on of the articles at random. A blue bikini top. "Um...I'll wear this one."

Nudge rolled her eyes. "That's it?"

"You picked them in the first place!" I protested, grabbing the matching bottom and heading upstairs. "I just selected!"

"Not that, you idiot!" she snapped as she grabbed the rest of the swimsuit mix-and-matches. "It's just that you're the only person I know who can look at a pile of clothes, pick one at random, and just decide to wear _that _one without even looking at the others!"

I ignored her with a roll of my eyes and got dressed as quickly as I could back up in my room. Ella entered soon after I finished in her black swimsuit from the first day. She grinned at me, just one of the many signs that she was as excited as I was. Her entire body looked like it was glowing. I totally related.

"Nudge is going to have a heart attack when she sees that," I informed her, but she just laughed.

"I know something she doesn't," Ella said, lowering her voice conspiratorially. She looked over her shoulder to check for Nudge, then leaned close to my ear. "They're going to make us change into wetsuits when we get there."

"Who?" I asked, trying to hold back laughter. God, Nudge would piss her shorts. "The guys?"

"Nah. Whoever works there. If you just wore a bikini up there and you fell into the ocean, you'd probably go into some kind of shock. That water is fucking _cold."_

Now my suppressed laughter was gone. Fall? Into the _ocean?_

"What do you—" I started, but just then, the whirling dervish entered the room and swept us all outside to meet the guys. My eyes met Ella's as we went, and the excitement and anticipation on her face was equaled on mine, I'm sure. There were butterflies in my stomach, and I felt—strangely—like I was about to hurl.

Was that good or bad?

._-_-_-_.

"Alright, so what is the first thing you are going to do when you get out there?" Kai asked me as he passed over a neat package about the size of a pillow. I grabbed it and crushed it to my chest as if my life depended on it. I felt my legs shaking with the adrenaline that was burning through my veins like fire every time my pulse beat behind my eyes. I could barely hear Kai over the sound of my heart pulsating in my ears.

"Um..." I racked my brain frantically for the answer. What was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to _do?_

"Have the ground assistants check the rig," Fang replied calmly, looping an arm around my shoulder. Kai nodded and made a "go on" motion with his hand. "And flight harness. Then make sure they're holding the parachute on both sides. Preferably evenly."

"Correct," Kai praised. He raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure she is ready?"

"She's good in a crisis," Fang informed him, giving me a little squeeze. I didn't have the energy, patience, or mindset to scowl at him. "She'll be fine. We're going tandem, right?"

"That would probably be best." Kai surveyed me thoughtfully. "Is your suit adjusted correctly? Is the zipper done completely up? Do you feel any circulation being cut off, or do you feel it loose in any areas? Tell me if there is something wrong now so we can avoid problems later."

"I'm fine," I managed through a clenched jaw. I was cheered slightly by the strength in my voice that I didn't actually feel. "Are you sure you don't have wetsuits in any other colors, though? I don't think that pink..."

I trailed off as I heard a gut-wrenching scream from the water, and my eyes quickly found its source. A couple had gone airborne, attached to a light blue parachute that seemed to blend in with the sky. I couldn't see the woman's face because of the altitude, but I imagined she was feeling even more panicked than me. But as I watched for a few more seconds, I couldn't help the flood of tranquility that washed over me...maybe because my initial adrenaline rush was over. Or maybe because it just looked so peaceful to be up in the sky with the person you loved, looking down at the beauty that was the ocean surrounding Hawaii. I looked back at Kai with a rush of new strength.

"Let's do this," I told him. He smiled and motioned for everyone to follow him as he started walking. Fang moved his arm and instead took my hand as he led me forward. He looked like such a natural in his black and navy wetsuit. His muscles—visible all over his body, though they were only uncovered on his forearms, shins, and neck—were relaxed. He was at ease. Opposed to me, practically shaking, and not from the chilly breeze. My friends and their boyfriends were following behind us, looking almost identical. Just as all of the adult male wetsuits were the same, so were the adult female ones. This meant the ladies were all clad in black and pink, the fabric clinging to every curve. Except, of course, most of our legs and arms. It was like a perv-fest waiting to happen.

"Nudge and Sam will go first." Kai looked over at them and grinned as they passed, giving Sam a fist bump. He watched Sam buckle a harness over his shoulders and around his waist and legs, waiting to see if assistance was needed. Nudge fixed her own harness just as easily, and they both stepped onto a wooden dock, where a fast-looking, shiny blue boat was waiting. As soon as they stepped on board, the speedboat was off to find a safe position to launch one of my best friends into the sky.

"Ella and Iggy?" Kai helped the two onto the next boat, a red one, and it was off. The last boat was green, and looked the fastest out of all of them. I gulped as we were directed over to it. Kai looked directly at me before I stepped in. "Do not forget. If your harness suddenly comes apart or the clip comes undone, do not try to hold it together. You will only hurt yourself. Hold your arms out to keep stable and try not to fall until the launchers realize something is wrong."

I'm sure my expression made his day.

"I am just kidding around." Kai laughed freely, but I couldn't bring myself to even chuckle. "The launchers will make sure you are strapped in safely. If your harness does not look fit for use, they will strap you into a new one. Do not worry."

I said nothing as I attempted to stop thinking about how many things could go wrong with this shit I was about to do. This was exactly like _Twilight. _I was Bella, about to jump off a cliff to satisfy my own adrenaline needs. And then I'd almost die. But in the middle of the ocean, there isn't anyone to save you. And if I _did _die, Edward—AKA Fang—wouldn't have to kill himself, because he'd be tied to me, and we'd both drown.

_Fuck it._

"Let's do this," I said, and strapped myself into the harness I'd been handed earlier. Kai had to help me with one of the leg buckles when I clipped it wrong. I glanced at Fang and saw his jaw was taught at the sight of another guy's hand so high up on my leg. That made me grin at him, to which he scowled.

"Let's," he replied haughtily before stepping onto the boat. I followed, and the man at the engine took off. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced. It's not that I'd never been in a boat before; I had. I'd just never been in a boat going this _fast. _I could practically feel the skin on my face being pushed backward, and my hair tugged at my scalp like it would rip right off. My eyes were watering almost instantly at the air being pushed directly into them, so I ducked my head and looked off to the side where Fang was. And God, was he _hot_.

"Wind-tossed really suits your hair!" I called over the roar of the wind and the motor. He grinned at me.

"Yours, too!" he shouted back. My hand self-consciously reached up to tame my wild locks, but it was like touching a whip on its way down. I jerked my hand away, half expecting to see red marks across my fingers. Fang laughed.

And then, all at once, the boat stopped. The man at the front turned around to face us, and two other men I hadn't noticed earlier stepped to our sides. Claustrophobia made chills go up and down my spine, as irrational as it was. I _hated _being cornered.

"We're just going to tether you two," one of the guys said, taking a clip and attaching it to Fang's chest. He had an Australian accent, and he looked every bit the Steve Irwin part. Well, Steve Irwin in a wetsuit. "If the sheila could just stand in front of you?"

I complied immediately, and I was soon clipped in by several more straps.

"If for some reason you two get into an argument and can't stand each other while you're up there," the other man, obviously native Hawaiian, joked, "just pull this string here. It'll separate you two almost instantly. But try not to do that. Because then one of you will probably fall about two hundred feet into the water, and you might break a rib or five."

"Two hundred feet?" I echoed nervously, glancing at the sky. It was perfectly blue. Not a cloud in sight.

"Or three hundred," the Aussie amended. "Depends on how high the wind tugs you and whether or not we decide to let it take you that high. Whichever. Anyway, once you two are ready to come down, just detach the clip from the tug line. The pick-up boat will trail a couple hundred feet behind us and will pick you up when you hit the water. They're behind us now, in case you want to say hi or appeal to their sympathetic sides."

I looked behind me and, sure enough, there was a smaller boat with just two guys in it. They waved when I turned.

"Here are your PFDs," Aussie went on, drawing my attention back to him. He handed us some glove-like things. "I know your wetsuits already come built in with buoying padding, but we have to distribute some other form of personal flotation device according to the Coast Guard. These'll help you keep your balance while you're waiting for the pick-up boat. Basically, the harnesses are too heavy for you to swim in, so you need something else to keep you afloat until we can get you out of the water. We don't want to fill out the paperwork if you drown, so just keep them on, comprende?"

I nodded and quickly strapped on the fingerless gloves. They felt bulky.

"Ground assistants check rig," the guy controlling the motor suddenly said. The Aussie and the other guy moved Fang and me so we were standing facing the back of the boat. A slight platform stretched before us. The guys pulls a couple strings and latches to make sure they were secure, and straightened one of the straps by my neck. I felt my pulse start to quicken. "Ground assistants check flight harness."

There were some more tugs and then the snap of a clip being put in place. One of the men attached a strong cable via clip to a loop on my chest. Fang tensed.

"I'm fine," I assured him, resting my head on his chest. But I _so _wasn't. If I passed out while we were up there, would Fang still be able to pull the clip to let us down? And if we fell while I was still unconscious, would I drown before the pick-up boat got to us?

"Are you?" I thought I heard Fang mutter, but then there was a parachute stretched out behind me and the men were stepping back while holding onto the fabric on both sides.

"Ground assistants position sail."

There was a shuffling, and then the boat started moving slowly. Anticipation coiled in my legs as I prepared to take the one step that I'd learned I had to take to get us up in the air. This was it. _This _was fucking _it._

The boat was accelerating quickly now, and I knew that soon we'd reach the maximum speed. Then I'd have to either jump or ask the people to detach our sail. And I wasn't chickening out on this. I had to do this. I _would _do this. And when it was all over, I'd be super proud of myself. I'd be the hero in my family. I'd be the Girl Who Dared Go Parasailing.

And I might be dead.

I took a deep breath.

"You can walk any time now!" one of the guys—I couldn't tell which—yelled. "Don't jump! Just take one step!"

I breathed. I was going to shit my pants if I stayed here any longer. I felt Fang's knee nudge the back of my leg, and it was then that I realized I was frozen. No. Not frozen. I could do this. I _would _do this. I set my jaw, took the deepest breath of my life, and stepped forward.

I was dead.

The breath was swept from my lungs in an instant, all lights suddenly turning inside out, reversing, warping beyond recognition. Except...it wasn't. I could see everything with perfect clarity. There was no blur, no warping, no reversal. My eyes were stuck open, and all of the tears that I was sure were streaming from them because of the speed at which I was jerked upwards were forced away from me, adding to the big blue expanse of salt water already below me. I saw the sun, the sky, a single white cloud...and then there was the ocean beneath me. _Us. _Fang was laughing in my ear and I was laughing along with him, because the adrenaline snaking its way into my heart and through every vein was now _good. _It snapped everything into the utmost clarity. I saw every wave, every ocean swell. There was a spout of water somewhere in the distance that could've been a whale. It was beautiful. It was _perfect._

Fang's arms wrapped around my waist, and his head found my shoulder.

"This is _awesome!" _I yelled, waving my arms. I couldn't see the sail what with the glare of the sun and the sail's color. We were flying. Flying through the sky, unconcerned with anything or anyone except for each other. Flying through the air, attached and unable to separate...without the instant death of one of us. And still we climbed, coasting on air currents and thermals, feeling the warm sun heat our backs.

"I love you," was his reply, right in my ear. I grinned.

"Me, too," I said with a laugh. Fang joined in, our bodies trembling with laughter and adrenaline and just overall bliss. This was wonderful. Amazing. Fantastic. Perfect. And we were together, with no one else again. I loved him.

I loved him.

**AN: Sooo sorry, you guys! I swear I had this chappie finished by Monday and I could've sworn I posted it, but apparently I just uploaded it to Document Manager. So...I kind of figured it out when I didn't get any reviews. Because you guys aren't _that _mean. Anywho, here's your update, quite a bit late, but I'll make it up to you somehow. Maybe there'll be an update tomorrow...? It _is_ a long weekend for me (starting yesterday), after all. Ooh, and for anyone who checks my profile regularly, or even if you don't, there are now both outfits _and _other links! So if you were curious about, say, the cottages or the red convertible the girls rented or anything, it's all on there, as are some links to songs, restaurants, and everything else referenced in the story. If anything's missing, just let me know. And a quick note of thanks to my reviewers, before I leave for the night. I love you all!**

**Until next time, peace-lovers...**

-YAY


	22. Chapter XXII: Something To Tell You

**CHAPTER XXII**

***FANG POV***

It was such an awesome feeling. I mean, how often do you get a bird's eye view of the ocean without any walls of steel around you to constrain you? How often do you get to watch the waves swell and rise and fall and see the outlines of giant whales and sharks, watch dolphins play behind boats, look at the sea turtles surfacing to breath? How often do you get to see nature minus the crowds of people trying to take pictures all around you? _All while holding your girlfriend?_

Uh-huh. Thought so.

Max was still nervous; I could tell that much. She'd been freaking out almost our entire trip here. Silently, of course, because that's how Max rolls. That's not to say I wasn't freaking out myself, because I was. Getting launched up into the air with nothing but a holey piece of fabric to keep you up there never exactly appealed to me. But then Max had wanted to do it, and I knew I was beat. There was no way I could ever _not _do something she wanted me to do. I wouldn't be able to say no. I _couldn't _say no. So I went, and I put on my smooth, strong, silent facade so I wouldn't increase her anxiety, and I let myself get pulled over the edge of a boat so I could fly in the sky with my girlfriend.

And, _God, _was I glad I agreed.

"You doing okay?" I asked loudly. The wind in my ears was making it hard to hear anything, so shout I did. Max nodded tensely, but I noticed that she relaxed considerably. She waved her legs beneath us a little bit, and I calmed down slightly with the knowledge that she was having fun with this.

I'd been so anxiety-ridden about doing this whole thing. Not because I was afraid I would fall and die—though that was definitely part of it—but because of Max herself. I'd been so afraid she wouldn't take me back after that whole incident with the wedding dress store. She was fragile. Broken already. Somehow, sometime, someone tried to put the pieces back together. Luckily they'd managed to save most of her once. I knew what—or who—had probably broken her, and I hated him. _Dylan. _Max was my responsibility now, and I knew without any sort of hesitation that I would _never _let anything happen to her. I wouldn't hit her or hurt her, and I would make sure no one else did, either.

That was why it had hurt so much when I heard Max utter Dylan's name. Her voice wasn't strong or brave or even—God forbid—_scared. _She'd just understood something that I couldn't even begin to comprehend. She was talking to me. _Me. _Telling me not to hurt her. Her mind was so fucked up that she hated physical contact, thought it meant something far worse than I could understand. I didn't know exactly what Dylan did to her to mess her up so badly, but he did something. I didn't care what. He would pay somehow. Sometime, I would get back at him. If only I knew where he was.

And then, when I'd tried to apologize, Max had kissed me. Only it hadn't just been a kiss. It was a test, of both my willpower and hers. And if we'd both failed, well...I was glad we had. Because I loved her. And she loved me, or so she said, and I believed her. It was one big, endless circle. I loved her, she loved me, and we'd gone farther than either of us had gone. Well, at least for a while, in my case. I wasn't sure about her status, and I wouldn't push it despite my curiosity.

The sound of Max's voice broke me out of my thought-induced trance, and I smiled at the sound. I would never get tired of it.

"Hmm?" I asked. My girlfriend's leg nudged mine easily, teasingly. I laughed. "Sorry. I was zoned out."

"I can tell." Her hand reached back towards me. "Do you want to go down now? Everyone else is already getting picked up."

_No. I want to stay up here forever with you. _"Whatever you want, love."

"They'll make fun of us later."

"I don't care."

"I do."

I pretended to think. "Take one last good look," I told her before pulling the clip away from her chest. The wind suddenly stopped, the cable falling back to the water. Everything seemed to still for a moment, things frozen in time. Then, the world began to turn again, everything slowly starting previous motions. The air rushing past my face halted, the sounds broke away. It was silent and calm and, if it was possible, even more perfect than before.

"Wow," was Max's breathless comment. I laughed and held her tighter.

"Definitely wow," I agreed, watching the ocean rise to meet us. We weren't moving; the world was. Then a chillier breeze hit us as we entered some sort of cold-air layer before it disappeared, and it was just the warm sun's rays touching us, pulling us back to reality. Neither of us said anything as we neared the water, but I detached the clip between Max and me right before we hit. She fell a foot or so before touching down in the water. She screamed playfully at the cold. I laughed as the parachute made me fall into the freezing water right next to her, and couldn't help but let out a yell myself. Fuck, it was _cold._

The pick-up boat pulled up almost immediately, and a guy held his hand out to Max.

"Detach your harness," he instructed me as he helped _my girlfriend _on board. I noticed the tugging of the sail as it started filling with water and quickly complied. I really didn't feel like falling to the bottom of the ocean right now. I was helped up next, getting only a hand to steady me as opposed to the entire grabby thing he'd just performed on Max. _Thanks, fucker._

The parachute was quickly retrieved and rolled up, then stashed in a compartment in the back of the boat. Max and I sat on the side bench as we sped back to shore. I glanced at her and saw that her eyes were closed, a tranquil smile on her face. I touched her arm lightly and, without opening her eyes, she slid closer to me and set her head on my shoulder. I carefully placed an arm over her shoulders.

"Love you," she murmured into my wetsuit-clad arm. I smiled. I would never get tired of those words.

"Love you, too," I replied, kissing the top of her head. I never wanted to let her go. So many "I"s. Was I being selfish with my affections? Was I being selfish by loving it when she said she loved me, when she touched me like this? Well, okay, then. I'd be selfish. I'd be greedy. Because I was one lucky bastard. And one very lucky bastard never wanted to let go of his girlfriend.

I loved being selfish.

***MAX POV***

I didn't have common sense. I didn't have intelligence above that of the average American. I didn't have a whole lot of money. I didn't have drop-dead good looks. I didn't have a voice that sounded like bells or whispering winds or any such romantic shit. I didn't have a fucking virginity or, hell, a _second _virginity for any abstinence-lovers out there. But lightning strike me dead if I didn't have the best boyfriend in the entire fucking world.

See? No lightning.

But what did I have to offer him? Why did he care about me at _all_, let alone bother to confess his love to me? I'm not a spectacular female specimen; I've never lied to myself about things like that. I guess with the rights amount of makeup I could achieve hot. But Fang was the first guy I'd ever met—boyfriends and crushes and other romanceaside—who didn't seem to care. He cared about me and loved me for _me_. He told me about his life, about how he was an only child and he lived with both of his parents, Monica and Anthony, until he turned nineteen, whereupon he moved across the city to avoid commuting to school every day. And he knew a few things about me. He knew basic stuff—my favorite color, song, animal, etc.—and he knew I once dated an abusive asshole named Dylan. But I wasn't even sure if he'd put _that _together yet. He knew next to nothing, something that had to be quickly remedied.

"What's my name?" I asked lazily, nudging Fang with my heel. I was back in my blue swimsuit, Fang in his standard black board shorts, our entire gang together on the beach to soak up the last rays of the sun. My boyfriend was sitting back, relaxing with his hands behind him in the sand. My legs were ungracefully thrown over his, the rest of my body haphazardly stretched out on a rented beach towel. Fang looked away from the ocean in surprise.

"Is this a trick question?" he asked skeptically, tilting his head. I couldn't bring myself to laugh.

"No, seriously." I bit my lip and moved my legs off of him so they were crossed Indian style in front of me. "What's my name?"

"Uh...Max Martinez." He smiled, but his eyes were cautious. "You'd tell me if you were...uh...not, right? You're not in the Witness Protection Program or anything, are you? Or...undercover with the FBI or anyone?"

_Now _I laughed. "No such luck."

His forehead creased like he was thinking really hard about something. "Then why do you ask?"

I took a deep breath to steady myself, making sure my wall was in place. Then I swallowed nervously, looking down at my hands. Why was I turning this into such a big deal? Why couldn't I just tell him my full name? It's not like I was on some kind of wanted list or anything. So what was with me?

_Maybe because the last person you told used it against you, _a little voice in my head whispered, and I mentally cringed at the memory. So many strings I'd had to pull to get my name off of the Internet. So many people I'd hurt by doing so. So much time wasted, trying to get every last provocative picture cleared from Google Images, only to find they were everywhere else, too. And I hadn't even been the one to put them there.

"Max?"

"Maximum," I corrected anxiously. I hugged myself. "My full name is Maximum. Martinez."

"Oookay. Nicholas. Nicholas Ride." He laughed. "Pleasure meeting you, miss. Now that introductions are out of the way..."

I gaped at him. How could he possibly be taking this so lightly? I mean, true, he didn't know the horrible things associated with my full name. The web was a big place, full of thousands of pictures and words. It was growing every minute. But he _had _to have sensed that this was a bigger deal than just telling him my name. Or maybe I was giving him too much credit. I couldn't expect him to know everything about me all the time. I couldn't expect him to always read between the lines. God, I was such a _bitch._

Fang was alerted to my inner turmoil in a matter of seconds. He turned his body so he was facing me. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." We both knew it was a lie, but I attempted to keep my know-nothing facade. "I shouldn't have brought it up. Sorry."

He looked uncertain. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? Whatever it is, it's been on your mind since we got back from the trip. Is it something I did? If it is, I'm sorry. I don't...I'm not really sure how to act with you sometimes. I don't want to make you panic, but I want to show you how much I—"

I silenced him quickly and effectively by pulling his mouth to mine, my forearms resting on his shoulders, my fingers clutching his hair. He kissed me back for a moment before removing my hands and pulling away. Shocked, it took a moment for the heat of rejection to color my face. Fang's eyes widened a hair.

"Not you," he assured me quickly, touching his hand to my face. _Puzzlement_. He saw the look on my face and grinned. "I really don't think all these people would appreciate our escalating a shut-up make-out session on a public beach. Later, though..."

I rolled my eyes and kneed his side while he laughed and my blush returned. I then resumed my deep thinking. Fang and I really needed to talk. And not just about my name. How long had we been together for? A couple weeks? We'd already gone on two solo dates...and several more group outings with our posse. He already knew a lot about me. Too much, really. More than even my friends did. I mean, I hadn't _told _him, but he'd probably put the pieces together. He even knew the name of my ex-boyfriend. He knew that the son of a bitch had hit me, attacked me...he'd probably figured out that Dylan was some type of druggie. What didn't he know?

_That Dylan was a dealer. That he attacked you almost daily. That he got so high sometimes that he couldn't even remember groping you...raping you. That you've been raped at all, and by more people than just Dylan..._

I stopped all thought immediately, ready to go into sudden shutdown. Looking down, I realized my fists were clenched. But my wall held steady. That was new. Usually, thoughts of this caliber mixed with a recent breakdown combined in a recipe for disaster. Code red. Lockdown. Meltdown. Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, but I'm gone for today. Sorry, fuckers.

"We're gonna head back," Fang suddenly announced, and my head whirled towards him. But he wasn't looking at me. I moved my gaze to Ella and Nudge, whose faces looked as confused as I felt. Who was this "we" of which he spoke? Then his eyes locked on mine, and I found myself unable to look away. "I've had enough sun for one day. What say you, Max?"

"Um..." Why was this becoming my standard answer for everything? "Sure, I guess."

Fang got to his feet and offered me a hand, which I gratefully took. In a way, I suppose I was thankful for this distraction. I hated having time to myself to think, to do nothing but wallow in memories and self pity. It was time wasted that could have been used for more productive things. Things weren't going to get any better if I continued to look back upon all of the horrible things that had happened...the faults of both Dylan and myself. I'm no perfect, angelic victim. I've done my share of bad things.

_Bad things. _How trivial words can make shit sound.

"Have fun!" Nudge chirped as Fang took my hand and led me away. We were silent for the rest of the beach stretch, and I reveled in the comfortable quiet that I was so used to with Fang. It wasn't exactly time to think, but it wasn't an uncomfortable or awkward nothing-to-say-so-just-look-at-your-hands-and-pray-it'll-be-over-soon sort of time. And I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it quite a lot.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Fang asked when we were out of earshot of any possible snoops. He sounded...hesitant. "I didn't do anything?"

"What could you have possibly done?" was my skeptical reply. Before I could stop them, words began flowing out of my mouth. "Why do you have to care so much? Why are you so nice to me? How can you possibly want me after everything I've fucked up?" He looked a little surprised at my word choice, but when I start a rant, I don't stop. So I halted in my tracks and grabbed Fang's shoulder so he would pause, too. "I'm screwed beyond your comprehension. I've witnessed things and done things that would give you nightmares for the rest of your life. I've had everything _horrible _done to me that I think can possibly be done to me. And _still _you seem to be fine with me. _Why?_"

Fang was frozen, stunned and speechless.

"And _furthermore,_" I continued, all common sense thrown out the window, the anger starting to seep into my voice, "why do you keep trying to protect me? I'm a selfish, self-righteous _bitch _who should be locked up somewhere instead of out in the world to stomp on people. Every time I start thinking back to things that have happened..." My breath hitched in my throat, and I felt the wetness in my eyes. But I couldn't stop. I was on too much of a streak. "Every time I start to remember, you somehow pull me out of it. Why do you help me? Why do you care? Why—"

"First of all," Fang interrupted suddenly, his voice calm, "it's not every time you start to remember. Obviously you do remember shit, or you wouldn't have your little freak-outs. I know I have to be doing something wrong with you, or you wouldn't break so easily." He reached for my hand. I allowed him to take it. "I'm sorry, Max. So, so sorry. I care about you. I loveyou, and I've told you so. I'm nice to you because you seem like a good person. I'm not just trying to throw you a pity party here," he added when he saw me open my mouth to protest, "so listen the fuck up. I love you, Max, and if we're gonna make this work, I need you to _trust me. _I don't know what that shit-fucker did to you when you were together, and I don't know the gruesome details of your life and what you say you've done to fuck it up, but I do know _you_. Okay? And I care about _you. _I don't want you to tell me everything, at least until you want to. And if that's not today, or tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or ever_, _I'll _still _love you."

I noticed at that moment that I had absolutely nothing to say. Fang looked at my face, his expression suddenly becoming worried. A hand came up and brushed the skin on my cheek. I didn't shudder at the touch.

"You're crying," he said quietly, almost to himself. His eyes gave away pain. "I don't deserve you. I'm not right. I'm sorry."

As he started to back away, my hands came up of their own accord and grabbed his muscular arm fiercely. I looked into his anguished eyes. "No," I told him forcefully. "You're wrong. You might not deserve a fucked up mess like me, sure, but it's all on me. _I _don't deserve _you. _I don't deserve any of this. I...I love you, too, and I..." My voice broke and trailed off. I didn't know how to finish that sentence. He didn't try to finish it for me. Instead, he pressed his lips down on mine in the most heated kiss of my life.

My body involuntarily pressed hard against his, my arms weaving around his neck, my fingers in his hair. It wasn't sensual...not entirely. It was needy. I _needed _to feel him, to make sure he was there. I needed to know he was my new rock, one even more reliable than Ella and Nudge and my mom and my sister all combined. He was _Fang._ I felt his tongue on my lower lip and opened my mouth, submitting in more ways than once. I let my shield down...and felt my emotions flourish.

It was then that I knew. I had to tell him. I had no choice now; I was in too deep. I took a deep breath. Was this selfish of me, to want him so much? To _love _him so much? To care only about my own love and not his?

And then I realized in a sudden epiphany. I didn't care. I didn't care that I didn't deserve him, didn't deserve this relationship. I didn't care that this revelation of mine might ruin everything I'd ever worked up to…at least everything in the past few months. But it was true. I loved him. Unconditionally. Irrevocably. I loved him. And _he _deserved to know me, my life, if I didn't deserve to tell.

"Fang," I whispered, pulling away and speaking against his shoulder. He hummed in acknowledgment. "I have something to tell you."

* * *

><p><em>Sorry for the slight filler here, but I almost absolutely promise Max will tell all in the next chapter...to Fang and to you all. Special thanks to all of you reviewers (anonymous and registered alike). You are my little inspirations, and I thank God every day that I have supporters out there. Yang's friend is awake, alert, and well on her way to mending. Charges against the asshole are pending. I'll keep you updated. Please R sneak peeks have been pre-made for rewards (and incentive). And one last thing: people, we now have Tumblr. My pen name (dot)tumblr(dot)com. Check profile for full link. Thoughts on an IDDT Facebook andor Twitter? Au revoir, peace-lovers! -YAY_


	23. Chapter XXIII: This Is Everything

**CHAPTER XXIII**

Fang seemed to freeze almost immediately, and I found myself unable to escape from his embrace. Time itself stopped, and it felt like the entire world held its breath. I knew I did. Then, as quickly as it had happened, it ended, and Fang was gently holding my shoulders. He leaned down slightly so he could look at my face, resting his forehead against mine.

"Something?" he questioned. One of his hands reached up to touch my face. I couldn't move, let alone reply. The deepness and darkness of his eyes was intriguing and mesmerizing and overpowering all at once. He looked as intense as I'd ever seen him. "Or everything?"

"As in..." I heard myself urge, and was surprised. I hardly ever felt my mouth disconnect from my brain, especially in dangerous situations such as this. Because this _was _dangerous. I was about to tell my life's story to a guy I'd known for two weeks or so. It was dangerous. It was scary. And, if I wasn't mistaken, it was a definite end to this wonderful, trusting relationship that I'd fought myself so hard for.

"Everything." Fang's voice was firm, but tentative at the same time. It confused me. Then again, I knew as much as he did what exactly we were both talking about here. Now I was just stalling for time. "I can't...I don't want to be your pain, Max. I want to help you. Please let me. The only way I can think of is for you to tell me what happened to you. Not just with him. With _you. _And if you don't feel comfortable with that just yet, please don't feel the need. I'll wait as long as you want me to, and I'll always be here for you. I'm going to ask one more time, and then it's your decision, okay? Are you going to tell me everything?"

Any thoughts of his that I would be stunned speechless went right down the drain. I closed my eyes and sighed to steady myself. Then, with the softest voice I'd ever used and still wanted to be heard, I whispered, "Yes."

I heard Fang breathe, but I didn't open my eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I was. I was most definitely sure. Even if it meant he didn't want me anymore. Even if it hurt both of us. I needed to tell someone, that much was clear. Hopefully, it would end these fucked up situations that I kept finding myself in. Hopefully, it would help me to move on. Forgive? Maybe. Forget? Never. Move on? I could only hope.

"Positive?"

"Yes."

"So what's stopping you now?"

The question had me hesitate. "I...don't..." I took another deep breath. "I don't really know how to start any of this," I admitted, feeling ashamed. Here I was, promising to reveal the big, bad past that would determine the future of Fang's relationship with me, and I didn't even know how to fucking _start? _The signs couldn't get any worse.

"I'll always be here," Fang promised, for the second time in the conversation. If anything, this confession made me feel worse. Why did he have to be such a good person? Why couldn't he act at all nervous or anxious? Didn't he understand how big of a deal this shit was?

"How can you downplay this so much?" I wondered aloud. I winced at the bluntness, but I wasn't all that upset that I'd let this thought escape the confines of my mind. I really was wondering, and it wasn't as if I'd asked it belligerently or aggressively. I just wanted to know.

Fang paused, thinking. Then he asked, "Downplay what?"

"You know what," was my quick reply, so fast that I blurted it out before I could even think about adjusting my surprised tone. "Me. Us. My past. Exactly what you said. _Everything. _I've had a fuck-load of shit to deal with, Ride. I've tried to explain it to you before, but I only just grazed the surface." Again, the Rant Monster had found me and was holding me hostage. I felt the power behind my words even as I spoke them. "I don't know what you've figured out and I only have vague recollections of what I might've let slip. I _do _know that whatever you know about me, you don't know know the full story of." _If you did, _I added to myself, _you wouldn't still be hanging around._

"So are you going to tell me?" Fang asked when I paused to breathe. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You really want to know that bad." It wasn't a question.

"I want to know if you're willing to tell," was his reply. I closed my eyes and pulled back from him, shaking my head. It wasn't an act of denial or even incredibility. I was just trying to clear my head. I couldn't understand how he could possibly be okay with this. He had a deep well of patience he had bestowed upon him. I both admired and envied it. And it scared me a little, for some unknown reason. Maybe it was because I knew that if our roles were switched, I might not be this understanding. Maybe it was because I didn't know when and why it would all come crumbling down and he would force information out of me. But I quickly closed that thought down. This was Fang. He wouldn't do that.

"Maybe we should get more comfortable first," I suggested, finally remembering to free my mind from our little huddle. We'd created a semi-private bubble away from the voices and persona of the outside world, but that didn't mean the outside world was sheltered from us. Fang noticed at about the same time at me that everything said between us up to this point was witnessed by each and every tourist passing by. About as far from private as we could get. He nodded.

"Your cottage," he said, almost as an assurance. His hand crept down to mine, and our fingers laced together. I looked straight into his eyes and saw nothing but caring, with maybe a little bit of curiosity around the darkest edges. I nodded, too, and let our hands touch as we started walking. I leaned my head against his shoulder and took a deep breath. A life story to tell, hurt to share, and hell to pay, all to be prepared in a five minute walk to the sanctity of an impersonal cottage.

Let the torture begin.

***FANG POV***

She didn't have to tell me. But I wanted her to. But she didn't want to. But she'd told me she did. But I wasn't so sure. But I needed to know. But I could live. But I couldn't live with myself if she was constantly in pain. But she was going to tell me. But I couldn't handle seeing her break again. But she'd said it wasn't my fault. But she could be lying. But Max didn't lie. But I couldn't know if she'd ever lied to me because if she _did _lie, she was pretty good at it. But...why was she telling me?

As I walked hand in hand with Max back to the girls' place—I seemed to be spending a lot of time there lately—I couldn't stop the swirling of thoughts and feelings that were coursing through my mind about this so-defined _everything. _Everything was so much...like saying always or never. There was always an always with Max, though, at least in my opinion.

_Always, _I thought to myself fiercely. And I meant it. I didn't care what horrible past Max had experienced or what she'd gone through or even what she'd done. I was sure she wasn't one to go around murdering people's cats or strangling children, so I felt pretty confident in this. My only problem was getting it into Max's head that nobody was perfect. I sure wasn't. Which reminded me...after this whole thing was over and she got everything off her chest, I had to tell her about my own shitty past. Was I looking forward to it? No. Did I want to dredge up old memories? No. Did I care to divulge that part of my life with anyone other than my closest friends and family? No. But Max's life had obviously been more fucked up than mine, and if she was willing to share, I felt it was my responsibility to show she wasn't alone.

Besides. Max _was _one of my closest "friends" now.

"Almost there," my girl said quietly, gently pulling me away from my thoughts. I looked over at her and couldn't help smiling. She might not think it, but she was beautiful. Inside and out. I had yet to meet someone as open-hearted and caring as her...who else would take a dipshit like me as her boyfriend? "Do you mind if I get changed real fast? It's getting kind of cold."

I leaned over and kissed the top of her head, letting my eyes clothes and the wonderfully familiar smell of her hair. "No problem, angel. I'll wait downstairs."

She fidgeted. "I was thinking we could talk upstairs. For comfort purposes."

My smile grew. This was a total breakthrough for her, and I knew that. The fact that she was willing to open up to me was wonderful, but the fact that she cared about her—and our—limits was also a great sign. "Anything you want."

Our walk ended abruptly when we reached the house. I heard Max take a deep, steadying breath, and decided it best not to bring it up. I squeezed her hand once before letting go and allowing her to scurry over to the door as she reached around the doorjamb in order to grab the spare key. After the last few lock-outs, I was glad Max's friends had come up with a reasonable solution.

I didn't wait for an invitation to walk into the house after Max, because she was already running up the stairs. When I stepped through the doorway, I realized why. She was wearing the smallest swimsuit I'd ever seen her clad in...and the AC was on full blast.

"!" she hollered back at me, and I couldn't hold back the laugh that managed to escape. Deciphering her words easily enough, I strolled over to the thermostat and cranked the temperature up. I was sure if the girls could afford to keep the place this cool, they could afford to keep it warm, too. I let it rest on 68 Fahrenheit and counted to twenty before making my way upstairs to follow Max.

._-_-_-_.

Max and I sat Indian style on opposite sides of the bed, looking at each other. Max had changed into some more comfortable clothes **(POP)**, but I stayed as is. I didn't have any clothes stockpiled around here even if I had wanted to change. But I was comfy, and Max was comfy. Let the talking commence.

Only it wasn't that simple. Because every time Max seemed to gather all of her thoughts, she'd look up at me and just as quickly drop her head, like she had no idea what to say.

"Guess I'm ready," she said suddenly, glancing up at me. Her hair hung down around her face, almost covering it. I gently leaned forward and tucked some of it behind her ear, and she shot me a small smile before adding, "Sorry about this. I'm just...trying to figure out how to start. But you have to promise me something."

"Anything," I answered immediately.

"You can't say anything," she informed me. "Nothing. Not until I'm finished. Then you can comment all you want, okay? I just want to get it all out there first."

I nodded.

"I guess it all started...in high school," Max began, not looking at me. "Dylan. We didn't really know each other 'til senior year, and then we kind of hung out. I guess you could call us friends. We had classes together, we hung out a few times. It eventually escalated and he asked me to prom. It was a big deal for the school because he already kind of had a girlfriend and he was a jock and I was my own person. With Nudge and Ella, obviously." She rolled her eyes. "So, yeah. The year went by, we were happy, everything was good. Summer came around. Ella, Nudge, Dylan, and I all stayed in Arizona to go to Arizona State. Kind of a party school, I guess, but it has its good points. We knew we could always transfer because we were good students and everything. That is, if we ever wanted to. But when high school ended and college started, I guess something happened to Dylan. All his friends moved on, and he didn't. I don't know. He got a new group of friends, and they weren't good influences. He started doing some bad stuff. Got involved with the wrong people at the wrong time in the wrong place. That sort of thing." Her voice broke as she studied the bed beneath us, and I had to resist the urge to comfort her, as per our promise. "I knew Dylan drank. It was underage drinking, and I knew it was illegal, but I didn't really care. It wasn't binge drinking or any of that shit. Not...yet. That's when he started getting hooked on cigarettes. And then it was pot. That's...kind of when I gave up trying to keep track of the shit he was buried in. I just tried to tune it out. He used to smile all the time. Before things hit the fan. And then it all went downhill."

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, her head shaking back and forth almost convulsively. But it wasn't any sort of spasm. It was denial. She held up her hands in the universal "innocent" gesture, and I felt my brain fill up with questions. But I kept to my promise and pressed my lips together, settling on reaching for her so I could hold her in my arms. Tears were streaming down her face still, the drops falling onto the bed we sat on.

Max pulled away.

My breath caught in my throat, and I felt like I was about to choke. It was a stupid reaction, sure, but I was only trying to help. She couldn't close down on me now. This was as far as she'd ever gotten with me before...at least in talking. I couldn't let it end like this. She would never open up again. But I didn't know what to do, and all I felt was pain, ripping me at the seams. _I'm sorry, Max. I'm so, so sorry._

"Not your fault," Max murmured, her fingers tentatively touching my knee. My hand grasped hers of its own volition. "Never your fault." She hiccuped and sniffled, wiping at her eyes. "Just...just let me finish. I need to get it all out first. Okay?"

I nodded immediately, the pain increasing. Did I want to know what was next? "Take as much time as you need."

Max looked up at the ceiling before casting her gaze downward at the bed again, her hand absently tracing patterns on the fabric. "So...that was how it started. I..." The tears seemed to increase, if that was possible, and my concern grew. I squeezed her hand in what I hoped was a comforting gesture.

"You don't have to go on if you don't want to," I assured her, trying to sound calm. She scooted over to me and put her head against my chest, her actions contrasting what she'd said earlier about waiting until she was finished. I immediately put my arms around her.

"I have to," she whispered, and I heard the surprising firmness in her voice.

"Okay," I said softly. I leaned my head against the top of hers. "Whenever you're ready."

She took another deep breath. "Well...the happiness was gone. I never saw him smile with it anymore. He was so lost. Then one day, he came home sober. Said he was dealing now, and he couldn't use the product. He offered me some." Her voice cracked, and I felt my throat grow thick. I tried to swallow the anger that was growing inside me. "I took it. I threw up. He apologized over and over, he cried for me…for himself. He told me he was sorry, that he would take care of me as long as I needed him to." She broke off, and I opened my mouth to tell her she could stop, but she continued almost immediately, her voice sounding defeated. "So I took some more. And some more. I stayed stoned for a week, and he stayed sober for a week. I thought...I thought I was saving him."

I didn't move, I didn't speak. I sat there, wrapped around my girlfriend. Hatred was boiling in my veins. Pure, unadulterated hatred. It shot like fire through my entire being, picking at my heart and shredding it into agonizing pieces. How could he have done this to her? Hurt her? Manipulated her? Forced her into believing that she was being his savior by embracing his own monster? I hated him. I love Max. The contrast made me shudder involuntarily.

"Should I stop?" Max's words were barely audible.

"I'll listen as long as you feel comfortable going on," I managed, repeating my words from earlier. The words didn't come out strong, but they didn't represent the unbridled anger raging through me, and for that I was grateful. The last thing Max needed was to be scared right now. At least, any more scared than she already was from letting her memories overtake her.

"Okay." She was silent for a moment. "Sorry. Just trying to organize my thoughts. So...that was me. I was a druggie. Then...Dylan got sick. He caught a bug that was going around, so he went home and didn't come over. I don't really remember that time anymore because I was pretty fucked, but I think I went through the _stuff"_—she said the word with such a sickened tone that my stomach churned—"he left behind in a couple hours. After all that time staying on my high, I was totally screwed. I couldn't think, I couldn't control anything I did. I was scared. It felt like I was somewhere above myself, watching myself in pain..." Now I felt tears in _my _eyes. Her confessions made me want to kill the bastard who'd caused all this. Her pain. "I just...I didn't want to stop, though. It felt wrong, but it felt right. I never wanted to come back down, because I knew Dylan would stay down to help me, and because I loved the shit."

Her word choice had me wondering what—or who—she was referring to.

"But Dylan was gone, and my drugs were gone, and I spiraled. I totally, completely fucking _spiraled. _I went into withdrawal so fast it was like I hit a truck. My head hurt so bad, and all I could hear was my heart beating. Or not beating. It was...uneven. Unsteady. I remember that much. I think...I guess I passed out, because when I was conscious again, my mom was with me and I was in my room and I was having water poured down my throat. I remember crying until my mom started, too, and then my sister walked in and saw how shitty I looked..." Max crumpled in my arms and, alarmed, I touched her face frantically, turning her practically limp form so she was facing me. She was conscious, though, and looked agonized. "I'm so sorry, Fang."

I leaned forward and wrapped her in a hug, trying to get my own emotions in check. Her head leaned on my shoulder, and she sobbed into my shirt. I let one of my hands gently touch the back of her head, and I rocked her as much as I could in our awkward position. I didn't have the heart to tell her not to go on.

Eventually, Max pulled back and sighed. "And I was so sure I'd be able to handle this."

"I don't blame you for feeling." My voice sounded like someone had scrubbed my throat out with sandpaper. I coughed to clear it.

"If you think this is bad..." she muttered, obviously not intending for me to hear it. I tilted my head, and she looked up. When she saw my questioning look, she gave a sad smile that tugged at my heartstrings. She was stronger than she knew. "Dylan...he wasn't all bad. I know you hear this crap on _Dateline_ and _Sixty_ _Minutes_ and shit whenever they have an abuse scandal, but every guy, no matter how bad, has his good points. He never _tried _to get high. He tried to limit himself when he realized what happened during his blackouts. He'd only take two hits. He'd promise. But the thing is, and now I guess I know it from experience...two hits is never enough. You take one, you go, 'Okay. I can do one more.' And then you take the second, and you go, 'Okay. I can do one more.' And it's not because you're addicted. It's not because you feel too good to stop, though there isn't a drug called ecstasy for nothing. It's because you fucking _think _you're only doing one fucking more."

Her hands were clenched into fists now, the tendons taught. I tried to smooth them, but she pulled her hands away.

"You said you'd listen, so listen," she demanded. The strength in her voice surprised me, but I said nothing. She nodded to herself and seemed to deflate a little. "Anyway, I stopped everything. I never picked up any of his stuff again. He threatened me a couple of times, but I guess he was high, so he didn't mean it. He apologized a million times over, to the point of annoying. It wasn't easy. I stayed out of school for a good two weeks and my mom stayed home from work for three, making sure I was okay. If she weren't a vet...if I'd actually had to go to a hospital...I would've been dead. Not literally, obviously. I might've been in better hands, I guess. But the university would've expelled me. I would've been arrested. I hadn't just done the little stuff like weed. I hadn't noticed it at the time, but I got involved in some deep shit. There are so many _if_s that could've ruined my entire life. But I got out. I don't remember most of it, but I got out.

"Then it really started. It wasn't just pushing me to get me out of the way. Dylan actually started hitting me." Max swallowed, and I tensed. "Only when he was drunk or high, though. He always apologized, always promised he wouldn't do it again. It was utter shit, and I knew it. But I thought...I loved him. It took me too long to figure it out, though. Far too long. Long enough for him to hurt me so bad I had to stay home a few times. The worst was when he was high enough to be someone else, but awake enough to be calculating. The scariest combination. And he sent me texts..." Her voice caught for a moment, and I took the opportunity to jump in.

"You don't have to keep going." My voice was almost pleading. Even I could hear it. She looked at me sadly.

"Yes, I do. You wanted to know. Now I'm telling you. He hit me, Fang. I'd never broken a bone before. Not until things started going wrong. I broke a total of...four ribs, I think. _He _did. He almost broke my spine...more than once. He crushed my hands against the wall. Another three broken bones. He kicked my feet out from under me. I broke both my knees. Separate occasions. I dislocated my shoulder and elbow. One occasion. I sprained a wrist, twisted an ankle. I strained my neck. And I'm pretty sure he bruised everything else."

I was frozen. I couldn't move, couldn't say anything. _Frozen._

"But it got worse," Max went on, analyzing my expression. I saw tears in her eyes, but, unlike the others, they refused to fall. I wondered why. "Because one night, when he was especially stoned, especially out of it, he broke into my house. My mom wasn't home. Angel was at her friend's house. Dylan knew. And he attacked me. And that night?" She laughed once, bitterly. Without humor. Then the tears started falling. "That night I lost my v-card."

I couldn't even form a _what? _with my stupid, frozen mouth. But I could feel the hatred start again.

"I cried. I cried until I didn't have any tears left to shed. But he didn't care. He didn't come back to my house until he was high again, and it happened again. And again. And then he apologized like he'd never apologized before. He cried right in front of me, and I felt so guilty. I didn't understand why I had to be part of his pain, why I couldn't help him. So I tried to understand. I really did. I guess if I'd been thinking clearly I would've turned him in or gotten him a shrink or something but...I didn't. He stayed sober after that for a long time. At least for him. It was another week before his body couldn't take it anymore and he had to start up again, this time worse than before. I don't know what he did. I never decided to keep up with his shitty lifestyle or keep track of what he was on, because it always changed. One week it would be speed, the next it would be acid, then he would be back to pot, then his friends would introduce him to something worse...I swear to God he even tried injections once. Meth. I saw the needle marks. I saw his eyes, his face, his skin. But still he somehow managed to hide it from the people who could really get him in trouble."

Max stopped talking then, as if she was thinking back to those times. I swallowed, trying to process it all. I'd figured some kind of abuse—mental _and _physical—but I'd never figured fucking _rape. _What kind of sick, sadistic son of a bitch did something like this to the best girl in the universe? And the worst part was she'd thought she'd _loved _him. And _he'd _loved her _back. _At least, so she'd thought at the time. It was sick. It was wrong. I fucking hated the guy.

"You're upset." I was surprised to hear her voice, sad and tired, and I nearly jumped at the feel of her hand on my face. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," I whispered, echoing her own words from earlier. "I'm not upset with _you_." _Nah. I'm just upset with the bastard who hurt you so bad you still break down in agony because you can't bear the thought of him._

"It was Ella and Nudge." Max sat back, looking beat. Fuck. Poor choice of words. I mentally slapped myself.

"What was?" I asked, unable to help myself as curiosity won out over censorship. Max just smiled tiredly, though, not seeming to mind.

"They got me out. It was after a...bad time with Dylan. Ella walked in on us. I don't remember because I was out. First and last time he ever knocked me unconscious. She called nine-one-one and they took me away, so I woke up in the hospital. I got questioned by the police for a long time, but I don't remember much of that, either. I was kind of loopy on pain meds. That scared me. Ella and Nudge helped me through that. Then they helped me through the inevitable breakup. And they've been helping me ever since." Suddenly she frowned, grabbing my hand. "You can't tell them I told you any of this stuff. I didn't even tell _them _all of it. I tried to protect them from the worst of it...really, I did. I don't want them to worry about me any more than they already do. Don't tell them. Please."

One look into her panicked eyes and I knew my answer. "Okay."

"Promise?" She sounded desperate.

"Promise," I assured her. Then I pulled her into my arms in the most heartfelt embrace of my life. I loved her. I loved her strength and her selfless devotion. I loved that she cared so much about her friends and me. I loved that she still had a heart and a soul that had survived the indescribable agony she'd just described. I loved her. And I never wanted to let her go.

"He texted me, you know," Max said lazily, sleepily, as she drifted off. Her head was leaning against my shoulder again. I grimaced. This had taken so much out of her already. She really didn't have the energy to keep talking. She glanced up at my face. "No more stories. I'm just saying."

"Then what are you talking about?" I asked with a slight nervous laugh. Somehow, the moment had just reached a new intensity. The air grew thicker.

"Dylan. He texted me...again. All of this ended a few months ago. I think...the text? It was a few days ago."

Oh, _fuck._

* * *

><p><em>Sorry about the delay, guys, but I only got my first draft back from Yang today. So...yeah. It took a little longer than I thought to edit and such, too, and I've had a crapload of homework and other stuff to do. Life pretty much sucks at the moment, and I'm pretty damn depressed from finishing up this chapter. It was extremely hard to write for me, especially since I'm not used to writing such dark material, let alone from a guy's POV. Let me know how you like. Also, don't forget to check the IDDT Tumblr for teasers, extra info, and for answers to FAQs about IDDT and Yang and me ourselves in general: 0yinandyang0(dot)tumblr(dot)com. Check us out...we've got a couple followers. =)<em>

_-YAY_


	24. Chapter XXIV: I Promise

**CHAPTER XXIV**

***MAX POV***

Okay, so I hadn't expected it to come out like _that._

I felt Fang stiffen immediately in reaction to the name, and I bit my lip. Hard. So hard, in fact, that I tasted blood in my mouth. But still I forced my teeth into the bleeding flesh that was my lip. I shouldn't have mentioned the text. There was no way Fang would keep this a secret. He would tell Ella and Nudge. They would cut this vacation short. We would go home, they would make me do something about it. Lawyers, courtrooms...ugh. I _knew _I shouldn't have opened up so entirely. I was such a fucking idiot.

And the worst part of this whole thing was, I hadn't even told Fang the entire story. Most of it, sure. The most horrifying parts, probably. But he'd asked for everything, and I hadn't given him _everything. _I'd left out the entire Internet portion. That part of me would stay hidden. If Fang decided to stay with me—and that was a big fucking if—_then _I'd tell him. But why worry him more right now when he was obviously questioning my sanity?

And contemplating the best way to castrate my ex?

"Fang?" I whispered, looking up at his face. His head turned to look at me, but I could tell from the glazed look in his eyes that he wasn't seeing me. Not really. He was probably going through an entire thought process. _How to kill my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. Step one: Google his name and find his address. Step two: catch the next flight back to the mainland. Step three: rip the fucker's throat out and kill the bastard before he even knows what hit him. Step four... _"Fang!"

It was like a switch had been thrown. Fang's arms were suddenly around me, crushing my arms against my sides. I inhaled quickly, waiting for something horrible to happen to my already fragile mind; it would most definitely snap after being thrown into such a whirlwind of remembrance. But nothing happened, and it was then that I realized just how much I needed this embrace. I let my head fall onto my boyfriend's shoulder and waited for the trembling that I hadn't realized had started to stop. My thoughts were in as big of a confused jumble as my actions.

"I'm sorry," Fang told me, his voice hoarse, and I knew he wasn't talking about the hug.

"It's okay." My words were so quiet I could've been mouthing them. _I'm okay. You're okay. We're both okay. _So maybe the world wasn't okay. So maybe our lives weren't okay...I knew for damn sure mine wasn't. But in this moment, where we were both together, a giant anvil just removed from my chest, my words were correct. It _was _okay. Perfectly okay. And tomorrow didn't matter, or next week, or next month, or next year, but _right now_?

It was okay.

"Do you want to talk about it?" my partner in okay-ness asked softly. I wanted to cry, and not in a psychotic breakdown sort of way. He was being too nice, too kind. Then I felt a rush of anger. Hadn't he heard anything I'd just said? Didn't he understand by now? How could he not get the shit-easy lesson I was trying to teach him? I was fucking _poison. _I'd been told once too many times, and I knew it to be true by now. I'd had horrible stuff done to me, sure, but _I'd _done stuff just as horrible and gotten away with it. If it weren't for me, Dylan never would have stayed in Arizona. He would've left to become a big sports star. He would've stayed straight, lived a life free from drugs. But he hadn't. He'd fucked up his life.

And it was _all my fault._

"No." It took me a second to realize I was the one who'd spoken. _Shit_. I watched the pain roll over his face when I glanced up at him, but he nodded as soon as it disappeared. I was hurting him. I really was poison.

"Okay," he finally said, letting me go. I sat back. Waiting. "Okay. It's fine. Just...if he tries to talk to you again...please tell me, okay? I don't like the idea of him trying to communicate with you. I mean, after all he's done..." Fang trailed off, losing himself in his thoughts again.

"I will," I assured him softly, letting my fingertips rest on his knee. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you with any of this. You just...you said you wanted to know. So I told you." I took a breath and closed my eyes tightly. "I know you probably hate me right now, and I'm sorry for that, but I can't help who I am and what I've done. If there was a way to go back in time somehow and just redo all of that shit...I would do it in a heartbeat. I would never have gotten so close to Dylan, wouldn't have separated myself from everyone who mattered. I would've told someone. And, in the end, I would've definitely pressed charges. It's my fault that I made all the wrong decisions and allowed everything to go out of control. And now I've dragged you into it..." I felt the tears start and wanted to punch myself. Now I was an _overemotional _bitch. "I'm such a horrible person," I whispered, opening my eyes and looking down. "I'm so sorry."

There was a moment of silence before Fang broke it. "What the fuck was _that_?"

My head whipped up like it was attached to a string and someone had pulled it. Okay. I _so _hadn't expected _that. _"What the fuck was what?"

Fang's hands found my shoulders, and they gripped me so hard I couldn't even squirm. I couldn't bring myself to be scared about the contact. All I could see was the look in his eyes, caught somewhere between enraged and agonized. It confused me.

"Don't you understand why I've been around as long as I have?" Fang practically spit, shaking me slightly. I couldn't react. I was still frozen under his stare. "You're fucking _broken_, Max. I didn't know exactly what caused it before, but I do now. And as much as I want to kill the bastard, that fucking son of a bitch, who hurt you so much, I know that staying here with you is going to do us both a lot more good." I rolled my eyes subconsciously at his cheesiness, and he shook me again. "Max, _listen _to me.I couldn't leave you even if I tried. And I don't want to try. I _never _want to try. You're the last person on this planet I would ever call horrible. Got it?"

I pulled away from him, anger building. "Then what the fuck are we going to do when you have to go back to New York and I have to go home to Arizona? Did you ever think about that, genius? I'm not going to give up my life to move away to somewhere I don't want to be so I can live with someone who lies to my face!"

"I'm not asking you to," Fang said calmly. "I would go anywhere for you. And I've never lied to you, Max. Ever."

His words stunned me. He wasn't asking me to? He didn't want me to move with him to New York? _He _would come to _me? _In Arizona? I hadn't actually been thinking about any of that stuff until this moment, but now it hit me. This summer wasn't going to last forever. It was either one of us moved or we risked a long-distance relationship, something I wasn't comfortable with in the least. I was selfish. I didn't want to let him go. Not for a minute.

"Why me?" I mumbled, wiping at my wet eyes and running nose.

"What about you?" Fang's arms wrapped around me again, and I didn't have the strength to fight him. I didn't _want _to fight him.

"You weren't supposed to hear that," I admitted with a sniffle. I hated myself. I was way too weak. I'd opened up to a stranger, yelled at him, and was now cowering in the sanctity of his arms. _But he's not a stranger, _something in me said in reminder. _He's Fang._

"But I did. So what about you?"

I probably should've felt like this was an unnecessarily harsh thing to ask, given the situation. I probably should've been angry that he kept pressing me. I probably should've resisted the pressure that should've been weighing me down at that moment. But I was tired, and I was so comfortable, and it just felt so fucking _good _to get all of this shit off of my chest, even if it meant poisoning the person I loved.

"It's all too much sometimes," I admitted, resting my head against my boyfriend's chest. "Just...everything. Sometimes I feel like I never deserved any of it. Dylan or the hurt or anything that happened then. Then I remember it was all my fault. There's nothing good about me. Nothing redeeming. I'm just _me_. I've done drugs. I've lost my innocence. I've made the worst choices a person could make." I looked up at Fang's face, which was taut with tension. "And then there's you. You're nice, you're smart, you're funny. You're anything anyone could ask for. You have everything going for you, you could choose anyone in the world, and you choose a total fuck-up like me? Why do you even bother?"

I looked down again, feeling my face heat up. It wasn't like me to let it all out like that. I'd brought up the topic before, sure. But those times, I'd never really expected an answer. He hadn't known what he was dealing with. He would obviously say it was fine. But now? The cat was out of the fucking _bag. _It was now or never for both of us. And if he stopped now, if he turned around, if he walked away from this shit?

Death would be far better.

"Max." The one word was so full of emotion, I was surprised into looking up. A mistake. The strangest look was in Fang's eyes...it was one I'd never seen before. "You actually think...you really believe...that all of the shit you went through...was _your fault?_"

"Confused" was such an understatement on my part right about then.

"Who else's fault could it have been?" my mouth asked, detached from my brain. I mentally cursed myself. Stupid! The last thing I needed was for this to turn into a big, emotional therapy session. At least, any more than it already was. I _knew _it was my fault. My life was my fault. I'd made choices, and I'd lived with them. "Fang, _I'm _the one who chose to say yes that day. I could've waited to find someone better, but I didn't. I could've dumped him when I realized what he was getting into, but I didn't. I could've said no to his stupid advice, but I didn't. I could've declined those goddamn drugs, but I didn't. I could've opened my eyes and seen that what we had wasn't love. But guess what? I _didn't._"

"He could've never asked you out," Fang countered. "He could've waited to find someone who actually meant something to him. He could've broken it off when he realized he was a danger to you. He could've kept his fat-ass mouth shut. He could've dropped his shit and replaced it with someone who mattered. _He _didn't."

"He hated me because I'm a horrible person!" I exclaimed, pulling away from Fang and jumping up. Rage colored my vision red. "I told you this already, Fang! I'm a fuck-up! A mistake! He wouldn't have ever hurt me or screwed me up even more if there wasn't something wrong! But I was born fucked and I will _die _fucked! Why can't you get your _perfect _mind wrapped around that?"

Fang stared at me for a moment, his mouth slightly open like he was about to say something. And then the unthinkable happened.

He started _laughing_.

My anger started growing exponentially. Every second, my heart rate doubled, my pulse raced, and I could feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge. Who knew what would happen when I got there? _I might just jump off._

"I'm sorry," he apologized, raising a hand to his hair and tugging at it. He was still chuckling. "I didn't...I don't mean that in a bad way. I just...you think I'm perfect. You say that all the time. And yet every time I'm around you, I somehow manage to screw things up." I raised an eyebrow critically, still feeling the same gut-wrenching madness. "It's me, you know. Not you. I would tell you if you were doing something wrong."

I opened my mouth to deny his claim, but he cut me off.

"No, seriously, Max." He composed his face now, all traces of humor gone. "You've obviously put a lot of thought into this strange image you have of yourself as some sort of maniac. But you've deluded yourself into forgetting the biggest loophole in your theory."

I snorted and rolled my eyes to show my nonchalance, but my curiosity won out. "Which is?"

"What have you done differently, Max?"

_Whoa. _"What?" My voice was clipped and short.

"You said what Dylan did was all your fault. You spurred him on. You gave him reason to hate you. You caused his ultimate demise. So tell me. What about you changed after it was all over? What magical fairy flew over to you and threw some sparkly shit over your head that made the fuck-ups stop?"

"What makes you think they've stopped?" I was still angry, but now I felt the cynic in me rising. But I wasn't thinking straight enough to think that it might be some sort of self-defense mechanism. I didn't like this. I didn't want to question what I knew to be true. I had the truth; I didn't need some better-than-thou prick to turn it all upside down for me so I would start living a lie about my martyrdom. I was anything but a saint.

"Have I ever laid a hand on you?" Fang asked, looking straight into my eyes.

"No." The word came up out of my throat before I could stop it.

"Have I ever given you any reason to believe that I hate you?"

"No."

"When you were in the hospital after the shit hit the fan, did Ella and Nudge ever _once _tell you that it was your fault, that you weren't good enough? Did they ever tell you that they hated you? Did they ever give you the impression they were leaving you?"

"They would never do that," I said honestly. I knew Ella and Nudge. They were my biggest supporters during that rough period, along with my mom and sister. They would never hate me, just like I would never hate them. There was a reason we were best friends.

"Okay. Then what about you changed after it was all over?"

I thought for a moment. Physically? Nothing permanent. I'd been hurt, but most of it had healed. I had one visible scar from the incident, but the doctors had assured me that I would make a full recovery and it would disappear over time. More than I could say for my mental health. As far as I knew, though, I was still virtually the same. I thought a bit differently than I did when I was having the ever-loving shit beaten out of me in that I no longer fell for the delusion that I was in love with a certain asshole. But other than that? "Nothing."

Fang reached up and took my hand. "Then why do so many people around you love you?"

I fought off the uneasy feeling I was starting to get and shrugged. "You're perfect. You love me because you can apparently look past anything. Beats me how you do it."

"So Ella and Nudge are perfect, too?"

"I'm not talking about them," I snapped, pulling my hand away and crossing my arms. "I'm talking about you."

"There's nothing perfect about me," Fang informed me with a small smile, a look of sadness on his face. "I'm pretty fucked up, too. Well...okay. I guess there are some things I'm pretty good at. And I have my high points. Just like you. But if anything about me is the best?" He stood from his place on the bed and looked down at me from his few extra inches. "It's you."

"You can say whatever you want," I scoffed, trying not to let the warm feeling I had in my stomach show. "Words don't mean anything, though. You can tell someone you're a multimillionaire who owns a lesser-known search engine and you'll have people believing you. You can tell people _anything_. You can tell _me _anything. But it doesn't matter. Because I'll find some way, somehow, to let you down in the end. You don't deserve that pain."

"If it means being with you through it all," Fang said, "I'll take it."

"Stop being unnecessarily cheesy."

"Sorry. But it's the truth." Fang's hand came up and stroked my cheek, and I didn't want to pull away. "Besides. I know you're capable of showing emotion. I've seen you cry because you can't stand the world. I've seen you laugh because someone else has just made your day. I've seen the dreamy look in your eyes right after I kiss you that means you feel as much love as I do. And I've seen you be vulnerable. On both sides of the spectrum."

I felt myself blush as I remembered one of the sides to which he was referring. "I guess you have."

"That wasn't a mistake, Max," he remarked with a sad smile. "And I'm human, so I like to think I'm not a mistake, either. But you? You're something special. And that something special is most _definitely _not a fuck-up."

"But I have fucked up," I added, closing my eyes and letting myself lean against his shoulder. His arms wrapped around me in a warm embrace. "You, of all people, should know that. Especially as of now."

"Everyone has. Everyone's made mistakes. But you know what? Choices and mistakes people make don't define who you are as a person. If they did, we'd all be damned to the deepest pits of hell for sinning our lives away."

"This isn't a religious conversation."

"Couldn't help myself."

Surprising even myself, I laughed. "I know. It happens to the best of us."

"I know. And you know what? I'll help you, Max. I don't give a shit what Dylan said. I don't give a shit about what he did to you. You'll get through this. _We'll _get through this. Fuck him. I'll help you."

Even though his little rant was uncalled for and even though his words didn't make entire sense to me and even though I knew he really did give a shit about Dylan, his tone of voice and his last sentence gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling that I craved from him every moment I was with him. And I never wanted to leave his embrace. I never wanted him to let me go. I loved him. He loved me. And he wasn't going to leave.

_He wasn't going to leave._

"Promise?" I asked in a childlike voice that made me want to slap myself at the weakness. Fang's arms tightened a little in the most reassuring way I could possibly imagine. He made me feel as if I could live forever where I was, like time was standing still.

"I promise."

* * *

><p><em>There aren't words to explain how sorry I am about abandoning you guys for so long. I apologize from the bottom of my heart, and I sincerely hope I haven't lost too many of you. Real life at the moment has been so shitty it's not even funny, and, as much as I hate it, I have to put real life before the life I like to think I've created with my writing. I've been so stressed out lately I think my hair is falling out. I was up for 96 hours straight this past week trying to catch up on everything. I absolutely promise I'll update on Mondays from now on (as long as Yang cooperates) because I think I have most of my crap sorted out. Anyway. The story will get a little more upbeat next chapter as Max moves along with her progress. Hopefully you're beginning to see some of that standard Max-like strength come through. Let me know what you thought about this chapter, and I apologize again for being such a procrastinating idiot. Au revoir, peace-lovers!<em>

_-YAY_


	25. Chapter XXV: Paradise

**CHAPTER XXV**

_The sun is setting slowly, and I look over the horizon of the water at the thin band of color that the sun has cast in reflection. Fang laughs at something I don't hear and tightens his arm around me slightly. I force a smile into place and try to laugh, too, but it sounds slightly hysterical. I don't know why I'm doing this. I don't know why I fucking__bother.__As Fang continues to talk animatedly to his friends, I inconspicuously pull my phone from my pocket and check for new messages. The display flashes one._

_hey, baby. miss me?_

_My grimace turns into a real smirk, and I fight to make my face impassive again as I glance up at the others. They haven't noticed my preoccupation. The grin returns, and my fingers tap out a reply under the table._

_hey, dylan. when r u dropping by?_

My eyes snapped open, then closed just as suddenly as my retinas were scorched by the sun's rays. A few colorful words slipped from my mouth as I sat up and put a hand over my eyes to shield them. Someone else's fingers caught mine on their way, though, and I tensed immediately.

"Hey." Fan's calming voice filtered through my paranoia, and my tight shoulders automatically relaxed. I opened my eyes a sliver and squinted through the brightness at him. "You okay?"

I made a point of taking a nice, deep breath, trying to recall where I was. As my eyes adjusted to the light, they wandered around. Sand, water, pretty sky, colorful towels…right, right. Waikiki Beach. My friends' joint idea. Of course.

"I'm fine," I assured him, though I wasn't entirely sure of the truth in my statement. The hand not captured in Fang's tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "Just a weird dream. How long was I out?"

The look he gave me was an incredulous one, and I knew he didn't believe me.

"Come on," I said, surprised that the playfulness was so evident in my voice. Usually it took me longer to snap out of the funk that came with nightmares as vivid as this one had been. Deciding to roll with it, I reached out to ruffle my boyfriend's hair. He dodged me neatly and scooted so he was next to me again, his arm wrapped around me. It was warm and intimate and not at _all _creepy. I felt myself smile at my progress, then immediately dropped it as I noticed the similarities to my dream.

"Maybe an hour?" Fang guessed after a moment of reflection. I groaned, ignoring his questioning expression. His fault if I ended up looking like a lobster—plus the added bonus of peeling skin—by the end of the day. I hadn't even been able to turn over.

It was around this time I realized that my side was much more damp than usual. In fact, even on my most sweaty days, I'm never _soaked_.

"Fang, you idiot!" My shriek was almost Nudge-worthy. I jumped up and away from him, wiping at the wet mark along my right side. It made the dark pink fabric look red-stained. " You went frickin' swimming? This isn't even my shirt—Nudge is gonna murder me for getting it wet!"

"Take a chill pill, Max," came a voice from behind me. Learned instinct made me whirl around, only to see Nudge and Sam walking towards our little towel area, their hands full with clear plastic cups. This could only mean one thing.

"Ohmigod, shaved ice!" I squealed in a most un-Maxlike manner as I practically tackled Nudge to reach mine. The mood swing made my head spin, but I didn't care. I needed me some shaved ice. My friend ducked skillfully and landed one of the cups gingerly in my outstretched hand.

"Better look out for this one, Fang," she informed my boyfriend, rolling her eyes as she set down the rest of the cups. "Bipolarity is her forte. Only gets worse when she's PMSing."

I looked from her to my shaved ice and back again before shrugging and diving into my tropical treat. I stuck my tongue out at her when she raised on perfectly-plucked yet condescending eyebrow.

"Don't judge me," I said in retort to her unspoken comment. The effect, however, was ruined by the colorful flavoring from the melting ice running down my chin. Nudge just smirked as she put down the rest of the cups.

"You might want to fix that, you toddler," she laughed. Fang stood and walked over to me, touching my cheek delicately with the tips of his fingers.

"Allow me," he suggested, pulling me in for a kiss. Right before he reached my expecting lips, he leaned down a couple inches and let his tongue trail up my chin to rid it of the melted shave ice. I might have giggled any other time, but right now?

It was so fucking hot.

I made a show of dropping my cup and tangling my fingers in Fang's wet hair, pulling him closer as his thoughtful gesture turned into an open-mouthed make-out session. Ignoring the semi-disgusted looks of the couple standing on the sidelines, I took a step forward to press myself against Fang's chest, feeling the hardness of the muscle there. His hands tightened on my waist, and it wasn't long before I felt the result of my teasing grinding against my lower stomach. I tilted my head and bit lightly at his lower lip, making his fingers clench the fabric of my tank top hard.

"Get a fucking _room_," Sam complained. Nudge just snorted.

"They don't need one," she informed him, her tone one of sarcastic disapproval. "They're just going to start fucking in the middle of the goddamn beach. _Seriously_, guys."

I sighed as Fang's lips left mine, still feeling the warmth they left behind as well as the tingles I was just starting to get. My boyfriend leaned his forehead against mine and stared intently into my eyes. His dark irises were practically smoldering. Then, in one clean movement, his lips were next to my ear.

"I want you," he whispered huskily, pushing himself against me slightly. As if I would try to deny it. "Now."

If my teased lady parts weren't already wet, now they were soaked. He was turning me the fuck _on. _I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed myself back at him, against his lower half. I was the only one to hear the low moan he uttered.

"Then take me," I whispered back, my fingers tangling in the hair that brushed his neck. A low growl rumbled through his chest.

"Oh, my God, just _leave!_" Nudge yelled, pushing Fang and me apart. As we were separated, my eyes immediately made a cursory sweep of his shorts—and fuck was he lucky they hung so loose. Then again, so was I. I didn't need the world to know about my boyfriend's boner. The thought made my face heat up.

"Really?" I snapped, straightening my tankini. "Come on, Nudge. You're the one who wanted to come to this damn beach in the first place. Sor-_ry_ if I try to have a little bit of fun in the process."

"I came here so we could all hang out, not so you could have a make-out sesh with your boyfriend!" Nudge countered. "Besides, if I hadn't stopped you, you two would _probably _be stripping and getting into it right now!"

"Quit being such a buzz kill!" I retorted lamely. Though, I did have to admit, it _had _been getting a little hot and heavy. Not that that gave anyone the right to come break it up. Before Nudge had a chance to reply, however, Ella waltzed over with Iggy in tow.

"Why are you both being so bitchy?" she commented. It wasn't really a question. More of an absurd statement. I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it almost immediately. I was done. I wasn't arguing over shit anymore. Wasn't worth it. I flopped back onto one of the towels laid out over the soft sand and reached my hand into the beach bag that we'd brought along, pulling out my mp3 player. My pride and joy. As I shoved the buds into my ears, I felt the towel shift slightly, and then there was an arm wrapped around my shoulders.

"Later," Fang murmured in my ear, and I grinned, turned my head, pecked him on the cheek, and flipped on the shuffle option on my music player. Immediately, the song Paradise by Coldplay came on, and I mouthed the words softly to myself as I turned onto my stomach and lay there, loving the feeling of the warm sun on my back.

_When she was just a girl__  
><em>_She expected the world__  
><em>_But it flew away from her reach__  
><em>_So she ran away in her sleep__  
><em>_Dreamed of para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Every time she closed her eyes__  
><em>_Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh___

_When she was just a girl__  
><em>_She expected the world__  
><em>_But it flew away from her reach__  
><em>_And the bullets catch in her teeth___

_Life goes on__  
><em>_It gets so heavy__  
><em>_The wheel breaks the butterfly__  
><em>_Every tear, a waterfall__  
><em>_In the night, the stormy night__  
><em>_She closed her eyes__  
><em>_In the night, the stormy night__  
><em>_Away she'd fly.___

_And dreamed of para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh___

_She dreamed of para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.___

_La la la La__  
><em>_La la la___

_So lying underneath those stormy skies.__  
><em>_She said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.__  
><em>_I know the sun must set to rise.___

_This could be para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Para- para- paradise__  
><em>_This could be para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.___

_This could be para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Could be para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.___

_This could be para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Could be para- para- paradise__  
><em>_Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.___

_Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo__  
><em>_Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo._

And as Fang leaned over me and started rubbing my back in soothing circles, and I started drifting off into a sleep I was sure would be far less fitful than any of those previous, I closed my eyes slowly.

_This, _I thought drowsily, _might just be paradise._

_Thanks as always to my two fave collabs, Veronica and Meg. You guys both rock. Also a gigantic shout-out to my best Tumblr friend Emily, who's seriously gotten me through so much shit I can't even…just oh, my goodness. You rock, bestie. I apologize AGAIN for taking so long. I'm changing my update schedule to roughly every ten days for now. I might change it sometime up ahead, but I'll try my hardest to stick to this one. Things are finally getting sorted. Thanks for sticking with us through all of this stuff, guys. It really means a lot. Also, questions, suggestions, etc. are always welcome in reviews, but remember, IDDT has a Tumblr, too. We're 0yinandyang0 there. Thank you from the bottom of my heart once more, and have a wonderful rest of the week, my darling peace-lovers._

_-YAY_


	26. Chapter XXVI: Kid's Night Out

**CHAPTER XXVI**

"Oh, my God, no _way_. You _didn't. _Ella, oh, my fucking God, why don't we just get _married?_" Nudge began jumping up and down on the balls of her feet, her eyes wide with astonishment as she stared at the slips of paper Ella had dangling between her fingers. She waved them playfully and held them up as Nudge reached for them. I daintily gulped down the last of my coffee and laughed when the talking queen made a jump and still couldn't reach them.

"Nah, I'm taken, shortie," Ella teased, referring to the four inches she had on Nudge. She was the tallest in our little group, reaching 5'10", but each of the guys exceeded that. So, of course, Ella was ecstatic that she could finally wear heels with someone she was going out with. Namely Iggy.

Our day at the beach the day before had turned into an evening at the beach when I fell asleep again. Fang had woken me at around six because he had to go, so we'd bid farewell to our boyfriends and left for the house. We fell asleep around midnight whilst watching some nature program that seemed to be the staple of Hawaiian TV. And now it was roughly eleven in the AM, the perfect time for coffee and, apparently, secret plans on Ella's part.

I pushed back my chair with minimal nails-on-chalkboard scraping and twisted out of it, going to sit on the kitchen counter next to the pair. Caffeine was already in motion through my bloodstream, and I was now awake enough to be curious about the slips of paper myself. "Anyone feel like explaining these mysterious tickets to me?"

Nudge whirled on me, her face incredulous. "How do you not know what these are? These are tickets to the freaking kaypidubelyu!"

I blinked. "Um. The what?"

"Letters, idiot," Nudge scoffed, shifting her weight and putting a hand on her hip. "The KPW. Stands for like kaikei po waho or some shit like that. Literally means 'kid's night out'. I was freaking _reading _about this on the plane. Don't you ever listen?"

I ignored her question. "Well, pardon my ignorance, but I really don't want to go any place called Kid's Night Out. It sounds like a cheesy daycare center name or something. Seriously. What's so special about it? Some celebrity gonna be there?"

Nudge rolled her eyes and waved a dismissing hand. Ella laughed. I sat where I was, still wondering what the hell was going on. So I pulled my legs up and crossed them, waiting patiently like the wonderfully behaved child I usually am not.

"We're obviously too young to get into any of the clubs around here, because most of the cool ones serve alcohol." Ella must have seen my expression freeze, because she quickly backtracked. "I mean, obviously we wouldn't drink or anything, but we also wouldn't be allowed to go in the first place. So every month or so, a group of people get together and start up a KPW for people like us who want to have fun but aren't old enough to go anywhere to do it. It's not as lame as it sounds. Promise. It's actually supposed to be amazing."

"_And _almost impossible to get into," Nudge added, finally swiping the tickets from Ella's hand. "Which leads me to my next question…how in the fuck did you manage to get three tickets? That's like notdone."

"I didn't," Ella admitted. "Iggy gave them to me yesterday. Present from the guys."

While Nudge continued to pump her for information, I allowed my increasingly caffeine-hopped self to zone a bit. So. Kid's Night Out. Obviously the whole point of the name was to sound cool in Hawaiian. The KPW. _Kaikei Po Waho_. I repeated the name in my head a couple times before mentally shrugging. Maybe the effect was better when said aloud. Anyway. I'd always wanted to go to a club of some kind, albeit sans alcohol. It seems stupid that a teenager wouldn't jump at the chance to drink the night away, but I like to think I have a definitive reason to stay away. And as for an occasion like this? I was thankful that Nudge and Ella respected my prerogative.

Like they wouldn't.

My thoughts were interrupted before they could become reminiscent, and I silently thanked the buzzing of my phone for jolting me out of my haze. Damned caffeine wasn't doing its fucking job. I leaned across the counter upon which my fat ass was resting and grabbed at the noise-making device.

**Fang: **_you guys in?_

I grinned. "Hey," I said off-handedly over the squabble of my two best friends. They either refused to acknowledge me or were too caught up in a heated debate over the value of kiddie cocktails to notice my existence. "_Hey! _Guys!"

The fighting ceased almost immediately as Nudge took into account the phone in my hand. "The boys?"

I rolled my eyes at the sudden stop to what seemed like an intense conversation. "Fang." Grinning, I added, "and he wants to know if we feel like going. I was planning on telling him no, but I thought I'd check with y'all."

"Fuck no," Nudge replied, refusing to take the bait. She waved a sarcastically dismissive hand. "It's not like this is the event of the summer or anything. I mean really. We can just go to one of these things any time. Who cares that the tickets are impossible to get? Who cares that they're going to have some awesome-as-fuck bands there? Psh. Not me."

"Alright, then." I shrugged off-handedly and typed a reply out to Fang before setting my phone on the counter and sighing. "He'll be pretty disappointed, though, don't you think? Seeing as those tickets are impossible to get."

I fought a smile as Nudge's eyes bulged. _"What did you fucking tell him?"_

Ella laughed and elbowed her. "Chill, girl, she's just messing with you. Don't you have some outfits to pick out or something?"

"Oh, great," I replied sarcastically, taking in the calculating expression on Nudge's face. "I was really hoping to turn into a mannequin today. Why don't you suggest a shopping trip, too? We could make a day out of it."

"With Nudge in charge, we're already making a day out of it," Ella informed me, as if I didn't already know. I sighed and rolled my eyes just in time for my phone to buzz again. I picked it up and checked my inbox as the mocha girl came up with a clever retort.

**Fang: **_don't let nudge get you in too many outfits, you'll be beautiful no matter what you wear._

I smiled to myself at the warm feeling his words put in my stomach. I absolutely loved the way he made me feel. I loved _him._

"You're thinking about him, aren't you?" I jumped when I realized Ella had moved closer and apparently turned into a mind reader. I felt my cheeks betray me and I looked at the floor with a laugh that Ella reciprocated. "It's okay. Don't be embarrassed. I think it's nice seeing you this happy with someone other than us."

Nudge nodded. "I think so, too. That's not weird, is it?"

"Not at all," I assured her, and I meant it. It just gave me more of a reason to call these two my best friends. All they wanted for me was happiness, and if Fang gave that to me they were content. We were close enough to know we'd never stop being friends because someone's attention was elsewhere. "How are you and Iggy?"

Ella's face took on a dreamy smile. "Perfect. Just…perfect."

I moved my hand to tuck some hair behind my ear and felt the smile on my own face as my fingers brushed my cheek. I knew exactly what she meant. You don't know the meaning of the word _perfect _until you're in love. That should be the definition right there. Love is perfect. I sighed and closed my eyes for a few precious seconds.

"Quit your lovey daydreaming, guys!" Nudge ordered, making my eyes snap open. She looked sterner than I'd seen her in a long time. "I love my boy toy, too, but we have a party to plan for, clothes to try on, hair to do, and shoes to practice walking in! Let's _go!_"

I sighed, this time in dread of what was to come. Experienced showed, though, that the best way to deal with Nudge was just to sit through her antics and wait for it to end. So, playing the part of the pleasant and kind friend, I conceded and retreated into the back of my mind in the hopes that tonight would soon arrive.

._-_-_-_.

"Oh, god."

"Come on, Max, you look great."

"Oh, god."

"Stop talking. Just look at yourself in the mirror. You look fucking _sexy_, man, don't even try denying it."

"Oh, _god._"

"You're starting to sound like a 10 cent hooker, Max," Ella interjected, and I interrupted my reflection gawking to shoot her a dirty look. She smirked. "You really do look hot. I'd do you if I rolled that way."

I rolled my eyes, unable to stop myself from casting another glance at the mirror in the darkening light. I _looked _like a 10 cent hooker to be completely honest. Nudge had pulled out all her old clubwear and gone to town, decking me out in a low-cut, short, black leather dress with straps that seemed much too thin to hold anything up. If that wasn't enough, there was a zipper on front.

It screamed whore.

"And don't say you look slutty," Nudge added. "You have to be a slut to look slutty, and you're definitely not a slut."

I ignored the pang in the back of my mind that would remind that I was, in fact, quite the slut, at least in my own mind, and instead made an annoyed sound and stuck my tongue out at her. In the most mature manner possible, of course.

"I don't like it," I announced, spinning to the side a little and checking out the tall black heels she'd fitted me with. Before Nudge could object I added, "Seriously, Nudge. I'm not going out in this. Change it."

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, pushing her cleavage up even more than even her own boob-exposing dress could. I raised an eyebrow at her and she threw her arms up in the air, defeated. "Fine! What do you want me to change?"

"Everything!" I practically yelled, waving my arms like I was trying to frighten a bear away. "I look like a fucking prostitute, Nudge!"

"Max, calm the fuck down!" Ella ordered, pushing my arms back down to their sides. "She's just trying to help. You look fan-fucking-tastic. Stop denying it and just accept the fact that you're going out in this tonight. Fang's not going to be able to keep his hands off you!"

_And neither is anyone else there, _I thought to myself, grimly picturing the lot that would no doubt be anywhere anything close to resembling a club was. I didn't look beautiful or gorgeous. I looked like sex in heels. Fang wouldn't look twice at my face. He'd be entirely focused on the boobs.

"Max." It took me a moment to process the sudden change in tone from Nudge. I turned to look at her and practically tripped onto my face. Goddamn shoes. "Take them off. It's okay."

Suddenly guilt overcame me. "No. It's okay. They look great, Nudge. I'm sorry for snapping at you."

"You don't have to worry about what everyone thinks of you all the time, you know," she answered. Her tone wasn't criticizing, but it didn't exactly sound sad, either. It made me curious. I nodded at her advice, my mind hard at work processing it. I didn't think at all about what people thought of me. Or did I? I looked stunning, for sure. So why wasn't I comfortable?

_Because everyone will think you're a whore, _a little voice in my head told me.

Jesus. I really did care.

"Fang loves you, Max," Ella chimed in. "He's not going to think of you as indecent because you put on something sexy. It's all in good fun. This whole thing is called Kid's Night Out, dude. It's not gonna be full of groping perverts. It's strictly for teenagers, and they've even got bouncers if they think anyone's getting too handsy…not that they will," she added hastily at my wince. "Just…come on. Give it a chance. Trust Fang to keep himself in line. I mean, for God's sake, look at what I'm wearing!"

I laughed. I didn't need to look twice at the deep v-neck and practically nonexistent back that consisted of her own dress. And her heels were much pointier and scarier than my own. Sighing, I gazed back into the mirror longingly, taking in all the dark makeup, the flat-ironed hair…the girl who looked nothing like me. Ella was right, though. It would all be in good fun. Fang wasn't like other guys. Not that I would mind if he got handsy with me. I grinned to myself. Not at all.

"Alright," I finally said, letting my hands hit my sides and turning away from the mirror to look at my friends. "You guys ready?"

They beamed back at me, and Nudge even clapped her hands, jumping up and down like a little girl. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me, as tense as it sounded.

"We're gonna have fun," Ella promised me, slinging an arm over my shoulders and guiding me to the door. "Lesgo dance."

._-_-_-_.

_AN: Words cannot express how sorry I am that this chapter took so long. I've literally rewritten this author's note 10 times and I can't think of a better way to say things other than to say I'm sorry over and over and over. The last few months have been really, really hard for me, just when things seemed like they were getting better, and unfortunately, all my writing kind of came to a halt. Thank you so much to anyone who stuck with me and gets the email that this chapter is up. I sincerely appreciate your faith in me._

_Before I end this chapter, though, I'd like to thank my boyfriend from the bottom of my heart for supporting me and caring about me and helping me out with this chapter (he helped with the outfits, and the pictures are on my profile page). Four months and still going strong. I love you, baby._

_I'll definitely be updating sometime again this month. If you review from an account, I'll PM you a sneak peek, which will also be posted on my tumblr (the link on my profile has been updated). Sorry once more, and thank you so so so much for sticking with me and IDDT if you're still around. I love you all._

_-YAY_


	27. Chapter XXVII: Interruptions

**CHAPTER XXVII**

Bright lights. Whirls of neon color. Dark corners. Loud music. Screaming people. Groups of teenagers. Bouncers. Security. Strangers everywhere. Not a bathroom in sight. The place had all the atmosphere of a European rave.

It was like all of my worst fears culminated into one shiny, obnoxious hell on earth.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a few seconds. I needed to keep it together. I could do this. All I had to do was get through tonight. I would make sure Nudge and Ella wouldn't have to deal with any of my shit; after all, this was their vacation as well as mine.

_No breakdowns, _I thought fiercely. _No crying. No ruining things. Be normal. Just for tonight._

I exhaled and opened my eyes, squinting against the lights despite the fact that we were still in line outside. My eyes met Ella's and she smiled tentatively at me. I swallowed hard and threw on a calm façade, locking everything down into a neat little box that I was sure would resurface later once I was alone.

"It looks like fun!" I hollered over the noise. Nudge squealed happily from my other side and surprised me with a sneak hug that sufficiently rattled my calm. I pushed all my feelings back down, my fake laugh going all but unheard over the pulsating music.

"This is gonna be awesome!" Nudge yelled in anticipation, cutting me in line so she was visible. A couple colored lights broke the confines of the building and danced their way across her mocha face, illuminating her wide eyes and ecstatic smile. She fit right in here, that was for sure. My friends exchanged a few words I couldn't hear and then the line was moving and we were being herded closer to the door.

"Where are the boys?" I heard Ella shout, but I didn't answer. We were being pushed, pulled, forced towards the entrance, but there was a barrier. Flashed an ID, fumbled with a ticket, barely had time to grab it back before the rope was up, we were in, I couldn't breathe, I was drowning in air, I couldn't see, everything was white, blinding brightness, and then everything was gone and I was shoved harshly back into reality.

"Whoa." I didn't realize the word had fallen from my own lips until I saw Ella and Nudge nod. But that was really the only word that could describe this place. Every nerve in my body was active, but everything was mixed up. I could feel the music, I could hear the electricity buzzing through and connecting everyone into one huge mass of pulsing rhythm. Every song, every note that came from the speakers was blended with the others, and combined with the colored lights moving over us, it was hypnotizing.

Now that we were in, the audio that seemed so loud from outside actually seemed to fade into background noise. Except for the occasional bass drop that shook the floor, I could pretty much tune out the music. Despite this realization, it took me several precious seconds to figure out that my phone was vibrating in my purse. I quickly whipped it out, my tension dropping a few notches when I saw the text was from Fang.

_Iggy got us stuck in some traffic, we're on our way. Almost there, sweetheart._

Despite my stress, despite my concern, despite how much I utterly hated that I was being dragged to this event, I had to allow myself a small smile. At least I was here with my best friends and at least the perfect guy in the world was on his way to help me through the night. The perfect guy who, as it happened, was as in love with me as I was with him.

"Hey, Max!" I turned my head in Nudge's direction, recognizing the excitement in her voice. A small ball of fear settled in my stomach as I traced her line of sight to what I can only describe as the dance floor. "Want to dance?"

I left my eyes closed on my next blink for a little longer than necessary, silently reminding myself to keep cool and be normal.

"I'll dance with you, Nudge," Ella interjected before I had time to response. I couldn't help shooting her an annoyed glance. I knew she was trying to help, but it wasn't like I was completely antisocial. Besides, I'd rather dance with someone I knew than stand in a crowd of guys who might try to grind on me at any moment.

"I will, too," I volunteered, shocking both myself and my friends. Their looks quickly changed from surprised to elated, and I forced a smile onto my face. "We'd better get free drinks for this, though."

Ella laughed and grabbed my hand before leading me onto the floor, Nudge close behind. I let the rhythm and beat of the music wash over me as I mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen. It terrified me that I wasn't terrified. Maybe a little nervous, but definitely not scared shitless. Nevertheless, as we started to jump up and down with the bass and imitate the dancing of the groups around us, I knew I wouldn't be anywhere near comfortable until my guy arrived.

_Please hurry, Fang. Please._

**FANG POV**

"God damnit, Iggy. Fucking _go._"

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing? I'm following the speed limit. I'm being a lawful citizen. Not to mention there's a fucking giant ass truckright in fucking front of us, you dumb shit!" The sarcastic asshole honked his horn. "Look, I'm trying! I'm sorry I can't control that his vehicle floored gets to 20 miles an hour, Jesus fucking Christ."

I hit my head against the back of my seat a few times. "Iggy—"

"Fang, knock it the fuck off," Sam snapped. I was taken aback at his reaction; Sam usually played the calm mediator. I didn't show my surprise, though. Instead, I listened as he continued. "We're only a couple minutes away. Max isn't going to vaporize if you're not there in the next couple seconds. Just shut up and stop bitching at Iggy for things he can't control. I'm sick of your constant whiny shit."

I rolled my eyes, playing my immature part. But I took Sam's words to heart and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. They didn't understand that it was vital for me to get to Max as soon as physically possible. I'd read some reviews about the KPW before we left. It sounded exactly like something Max would despise, and the last thing I wanted was for her to be upset. I mean, there were only so many mentally scarring events she could associate with one person before she stopped hanging out with him, right? I hoped not. It seemed like everything I did with her was wrong and I didn't know what I could do to make it better. I hated that.

"Sorry, Igs," I said after a few more seconds of deep breathing. We were moving a little faster now, and I saw the turn signal on the truck flash on.

He exhaled. "Don't worry about it."

"Turn here," Sam said from behind us, and Iggy followed the instruction immediately and jarringly. I rubbed my neck, hoping it wasn't broken. "Maybe a little smoother next time, Dale Earnhardt. I want to see Nudge one last time before I die."

A tense laugh and I was silent for the rest of the ride. I tried not to show it in typical Fang style, but I was terrified about how I'd find Max. I sincerely hoped she wasn't as stressed out as I kept picturing her. I hoped she was enjoying herself.

_Yeah, Max enjoying herself in the midst of hundreds of people and blaring music. Seems legit._

Finally, _finally, _Iggy pulled up to a large rectangular building that I assumed was the shell of the party. He circled the block and stalked for a spot on the curb, finally pulling into a parallel space recently occupied by a car with a radiator problem. I restrained myself to the point where I didn't leap out of the car, but got out coolly and calmly. I fooled no one.

"Let's go," Iggy prompted, locking the car with a simple button touch. We walked quickly back to the building and circled around to the front, where there was a line of about ten people. We were late. Time crawled by, and by the time we got to the entrance, the bouncers were changing shifts. I followed standard protocol and got in with no issues. I blinked at the familiar lights of a night club and gave myself a few seconds to adjust to the volume of the music. It was a little louder than other clubs I'd been to, but it was bearable.

A quick scan revealed no Max. I didn't see Ella or Nudge either, but I figured I'd need to take a sweep or two before I found them. I closed my eyes for a second. I hated that I recognized this scent so well. There was a lack of alcohol in the air, but the sweat and other questionable smells were definitely present. Every club had them. I took a breath through my mouth and looked around once more before nodding at Iggy and Sam. They nodded back and I left them to circle the area. I weaved through dancing groups and couples, trying not to hit too many people. I managed to be pretty graceful once I got into a rhythm, scanning all the way as I had done so many times before. Only this time, I was looking for one girl in particular.

The entire interior seemed to be one big block. There was a little platform on the side opposite from the entrance where some subwoofers and other equipment were set up, along with a decent-sized bar. Featuring all-virgin drinks, of course. I passed the setup twice. On my third round, I finally spotted her, realizing why I hadn't seen her before.

Nudge, Ella, and my Max were dancing with all the others, wearing outfits just as skin-tight and revealing as everyone else. Max did a spin, doing things with her hips a Latina would be jealous of. I had to keep myself from drooling.

Pulling myself together, I ducked through some arms and made my way over to them slowly, keeping inconspicuous. The girls were dancing in a triangle, and Nudge and Ella spotted me first. I put a finger to my lips, hoping they would take it as less of a quiet sign than of a don't-jump-up-and-down-and-squeal sort of sign. They did, and I quickly and lightly placed my hands on Max's waist from behind. She froze for a split second and whirled, a scowl on her face. I watched the annoyance turn to recognition and a smile turned up the corner of her lips. I thanked God she hadn't taken my gesture the wrong way.

Max gave me a quick kiss, not needing to get up on her toes due to the height of her heeled shoes. I bit the inside of my lip and tried to focus.

"You're here!" she exclaimed, rather unnecessarily. I nodded and grinned back at her, then glanced at the other two.

"The guys are hanging out at the entrance." They smiled and went to look for their significant others. Now I was relatively alone with Max. The song changed to another equally obnoxious, bass-pumping song, and I replaced my hands on Max's waist and leaned my forehead against hers. "You looked like you were having fun."

She laughed. "Not too much fun, I promise. This place is addicting."

I nodded. I knew that all too well. "Had any drinks yet?"

"A couple." She paused thoughtfully. "Maybe a few."

It was my turn to laugh. She was drunk on virgin drinks. Only Max.

"Don't laugh at me!" She swatted my arm playfully before kissing me again. It lasted a little longer this time.

"Was that supposed to be a punishment?" I asked innocently. "Can I have some more?"

"Nope," was her teasing reply. She stepped away and started heading toward the bar. I caught up easily and took her hand. She glanced back at me and grinned before laughing and pulling me along to another space closer to the wall. Before I could ask her if she wanted to dance, her arms wrapped around my neck and her lips pressed against mine. The people around us made it hard to keep even partially separated, and I quickly found my entire body pressed against hers. I let my hands fall on her sides and slide down a little so I was holding her hips once again.

I felt a quick, hard nudge on my arm and broke the kiss for a moment. It was a guy about my age walking past. He smirked and nodded before disappearing behind a couple to my left. I felt a frown cross my face. I recognized the universal sign for "good catch" that I'd gotten so many times before. The annoyance quickly passed, though. I didn't care what anyone thought. I was kissing my girlfriend.

I turned back to Max with new energy and pressed my lips against hers urgently. She squealed in surprise and kissed me back, but I needed to work out my frustration. My tongue traced the bottom of her lip, her mouth opening in response. Quickly, I spun us around and pressed her hard against the wall, trying my best to be gentle but not really succeeding. Max didn't seem to mind. She moved her leg so her knee was bent around mine. I deepened the kiss, feeling the growing discomfort in my trousers. I pressed myself against her and moved my lips to her neck, biting lightly and licking.

"See what you do to me?" I asked when I got close to her ear, just loud enough to be heard over the music. The bass was still loud enough to shake the floor, the vibrations adding to my overall horniness. Max shivered, her lower stomach pushing harder against my dick. I groaned unintelligibly. This girl had no idea how powerful she was. She leaned in close.

"I wish you could see what you do to me."

I moaned again, a little louder this time, and let my hand snake between us to let my fingers graze the area she was talking about through her dress. Her head fell against my shoulder and I felt her warm, shuddering breaths on my shoulder through my shirt. Fuck. I moved my hand to the hem of her dress and slipped it under, traveling the two inches to her panties. She was practically dripping.

Then I felt her hand on my thigh, creeping closer to my hard-on. I tensed when she reached it, remembering how amazing she'd been with her hands before. I felt it grow bigger, if possible. I couldn't hear the music any longer. I couldn't see the people. It was just Max. Before I let myself reach the point of no return, I took her hands and pressed them against the wall near her shoulders. Her head came up in surprise and I took the opportunity to kiss her again, more heatedly. She bucked her hips against mine and I pushed her harder against the wall, grinding hard. It might have been in time with the bass, but I really didn't notice or care. I opened my eyes when Max tensed slightly, nervous suddenly that I was making her anxious. Her eyes were open as well, and I pulled my face from hers.

"Nudge," she managed, her voice catching slightly after what we'd just done. I turned and indeed saw the mocha girl making her way toward us, completely unaware of what she was interrupting. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Max, pressing my lips against her exposed collarbone.

"Ignore her," I suggested, licking horizontally. I heard her moan. I pulled away and grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the wall and starting through the crowd. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" she yelled over the music. I set my jaw as I led her along, helping her through people.

"We're losing her," I replied, tense. I saw Max grin as she passed me. She began leading me. It took me a couple seconds to realize we were headed for the bathrooms, or at least the little nook they occupied. I allowed a grin back before pressing her against the wall in the near-dark.

We wouldn't be interrupted tonight.

_Thanks to all my fans and supporters who have stuck with me through these hard few months, and, of course, my boyfriend. I couldn't have done this without you guys. If you want to know what the plan is for the next few chapters, please check my Tumblr. The link is on my profile. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!_

_-YAY_


	28. Chapter XXVIII: Contemplation

**CHAPTER XXVIII**

_A/N: Just a quick note that I'm going to stick to Max's POV for a while—possibly for the rest of the story. I feel like since she's the real main character and there's so much development potential for her, it's kind of anticlimactic to switch POVs as often as I've been doing lately. There's some development that's going to come from Fang, too, but I feel like I can do it better from Max's perspective. On that note, hope you enjoy this chapter!_

I had to remind myself again and again that I wasn't drunk. I'd only had a few drinks. They were supposed to be virgin. They _were _virgin. I knew how I was acting was just a combination of the atmosphere and my inevitable sugar high. I'd guessed that Fang and I would kiss a little, maybe a little more if there was time. But this? I was responding to Fang's ministrations in ways I didn't think I knew how. And while my body was obviously enjoying itself, my mind wasn't quite as convinced.

Overthinking for the win.

In an effort to win over my logic, I closed my eyes and tried to focus. It didn't help. The cranny we'd shuffled into was dark as fuck. Fang's hands found my ass, and I felt myself automatically respond with a moan. But it wasn't me. This was an out of body experience. I felt the claustrophobia start to creep in. My fear of the dark. Someone touching me. My breathing started to pick up, and I knew it wasn't all because of my boyfriend.

"Fang." It came out breathier than I'd hoped. It only encouraged him. My breathing grew faster. I couldn't do this. That wasn't true. I could do this. I'd been through it before. I could let myself shut down and pretend like it wasn't happening. Or I could be normal and go with it. Enjoy it. _Pull yourself together, Max._

It was at that moment that Fang's fingers found the hem of my dress again and danced up the side of my thigh, pulling the dress up with it. My breath hitched. I could feel my instincts taking over, and they weren't in my mind's best interests. I suddenly forgot what I was so worried about.

"_Fang," _I moaned into his mouth. His tongue touched mine in response, and I loved the way it tasted. Who was I kidding? This was _Fang. _He would stop any time I told him to, so why not enjoy this moment? I pressed myself against him harder until there was absolutely no space between us. I could feel what was happening to him against my stomach; even in my heels, I wasn't quite as tall as he was. Speaking of which.

I separated my right leg and kicked off the strappy pump that was attached to my foot before hitching my calf around his waist. He groaned louder than before and pulled his hand out of my dress, finding my ass again and pulling me up. I let the other shoe fall from my left foot and wrapped that leg around him, too. He pressed me to the wall and ground his covered cock against me. My dress was riding up slowly, and soon he was rubbing against my wet panties. He cursed when he noticed.

"You're so fucking hot, baby," he whispered in my ear. The noise I made wasn't human.

"Bathroom," I whispered back. The occasional lights that flashed outside our little cove illuminated a growing cluster of people dancing frighteningly close to us. Fang nodded and held me against him while he walked us to the side in a couple steps and into the small women's restroom in one more. He didn't seem to notice the designation, and neither of us cared. Quickly, he clicked the lock on the handle and swung me up onto the sink, smoothly pulling my panties down to my ankles before taking them and flicking them across the room. Normally I'd think it was disgusting to have my bare ass against something this public, but right now, it totally wasn't.

I fumbled in the near-dark with the buttons on Fang's shirt and got frustrated with the last one. Fang handled it and smoothly slipped it off before pulling me close and putting my open mouth to his. One of his hands pulled up my dress further and trailed from my waist down to my thigh while his lips dropped to my collarbone. I moaned as he licked down my neck. He blew over where his tongue touched, giving me goose bumps. The hand on my thigh moved to between my legs, and I automatically opened my legs. His magic fingers danced over the area. He looked up at me, and even with the lack of light, I saw the blackness of his eyes.

"Tell me what you want me to do to you," he whispered. His voice was raspy with lust. My eyes closed and my head tilted back with my moan. I pressed his hand against me and reflexively bucked my hips.

"I want your fingers deep inside me, Fang," I whispered back. "Your tongue on my clit. They feel so good, babe. Please."

"Anything else?"

I froze, and then my mind started reeling. Was he really asking me what I thought he was?

"I'm…" I swallowed, but my voice still sounded strangled. "I'm not…"

He nodded, and then his fingers and his tongue made me forget about my guilt and anxiety and insecurities and I was just fucking gone. My body felt like it was on fire and covered in ice at the same time, I was empty and full, I felt everything everywhere and it was so fucking good and right that I screamed. Fang's fingers found the right spot inside me and hit it, over and over, and I felt like all the nerves in my body were right there, stimulated with every second of his touch. My words were garbled syllables, interspersed with "Fang" and "fuck." I was on fucking cloud nine when I felt the familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach that felt like warm honey, slowly trickling to my wetness.

"Fang," I managed, trying to form coherent sentences. "I want you…up here…when I come."

His mouth left me for a moment and he looked up at me from between my legs. I moaned. "How close are you?"

I shook my head and grabbed at his hair, pulling him futilely, and he understood. His fingers continued, and I closed my eyes, seeing fireworks. His mouth finally found mine again, and though I could taste myself on his tongue and it should've been strange, I was only focused on Fang and how he was making me feel. I felt myself begin to melt and I unraveled, screaming again. Every muscle in my body tensed against Fang's, and it was so intense that I had to push his hand away because any more feeling would have killed me. I moaned one last time and melted into Fang's kiss. He picked me up and swung me so my feet were on the floor again. I leaned on him heavily; there was no way I could stand up. I opened my eyes and faintly saw his open, too. I could still feel him hard against me. Slowly, I let myself sink to my knees, doing my best to keep eye contact. He shook his head quickly, putting his hand on my head.

"You don't have to do this," he said, but he sounded tortured. I smiled, undoing his trouser button and pulling at the waist. His pants fell to the floor, pooling at his feet. His boxers came next. A familiar sight sprung out in front of me, and I took a deep breath as I wrapped a hand around his length.

"I'm gonna make you feel so good, Fang," I whispered, stroking him slowly. "Just like you made me feel. Is that okay? Do you want it?"

He groaned, his head going back. I grinned and let my tongue lick his tip. His dick twitched and one of his hands slammed down on the side of the sink. I oh so slowly let my mouth wrap around him and took him in my mouth. His cock was way too big to deepthroat, but I took as much of him in as I could, using my hands on the rest. Then I kept up the slow pace, moving my head and my hands. The hand on my head made its way to the back, and Fang's hand tangled in my hair.

"Please, baby," he begged. "Faster. Please."

I knew he was barely restraining himself from forcing me, so I took pity and quickened the pace. His hips started moving in time with my mouth, and soon I had to work to keep my gag reflex under control. His moaning increased, and I knew he was getting close.

"Max…just use your hand…baby, it's okay," he groaned. I shook my head slightly, but I knew he didn't see. Determined, I sped up, and by the sounds he was making, he was enjoying it. "Fuck."

And then he was gone, his salty cum flooding my mouth and throat. I moved so just the tip was in my mouth and I continued to rub him with my hands while he came. I swallowed, still tasting the saltiness on my tongue and not really caring.

"Come here," Fang whispered, pulling me up from the hard tile floor. I fell into his embrace, and he kissed me. It was sweet, tender, and passionate, and it left my head spinning. He rested his forehead against mine. It was more intimate and cute than before. "I love you, Max."

I smiled. "I love you, too."

We stood like that for a long time. I'm not sure exactly when, but I think we realized we were tired at the same time. I saw the exhaustion in his eyes and I knew he probably saw it in mine. My knees were also starting to ache after spending that time on the floor. We dressed each other quickly and left the bathroom hand in hand. A girl rushed in as soon as we left. There seemed to be a line. I did my best to ignore the looks and let Fang lead me away.

The rest of the night passed by in a hazy mess. I guess we found Nudge and apologized. Fang said we hadn't seen her coming and I agreed. We reunited with everyone else and I watched them all enjoy one last drink. I turned down Fang's offer to buy me one, and he just smiled and kissed me. I leaned on his shoulder while we were sitting down and he made sure to keep his arm around me while we were standing up. Eventually even Nudge complained about being tired and we all left. I don't know how I got back to our cottage. I could've been in either car. Or I could've walked. Not much was clear to me at that level of exhaustion. I did recognize the sun just barely starting to come up by the time we reached the front door, though, and I remember Fang kissing me one more time before giving my phone to Nudge.

Once I hit my bed, I was dead to the world.

0_-_-_-_0

"And then what? What did he do?"

I sighed, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples with my head down. "I don't remember, Nudge. We just made out for a while and then we came back and met all you guys." I sipped my coffee and winced. "Can you stop making me talk, please? My head is killing me."

I wasn't lying. I'd woken up thinking someone had tried to murder me with a hammer in my sleep. Even looking at the glowing numbers on the clock hurt my brain. Coming out from the covers had been torture. To make it worse, as soon as I'd walked downstairs, I'd been assaulted with questions by the talking queen herself. The only highlight was the coffee Ella had mercifully prepared for me.

My savior returned from the bathroom and dropped a couple Advils in front of me on the table. I thankfully gulped them down with some coffee.

"Max, it's not like you're hung over," Nudge unnecessarily informed me. I bristled.

"I'm tired, okay?" I snapped. "I never stay out that late and I never drink anything other than coffee and normal shit. I don't care if this is a fucking sugar crash, my head feels like it's imploding and you're trying to get me to tell you I got laid last night. Leave me the fuck alone."

I moved my coffee and put my head down on my arms. I was pretty sure some of my hair got in the mug anyway. Ella sat down beside me and put her arm over my shoulders.

"I have to agree with Max this time," she conceded, giving me arm a little rub. "Just back off for a bit, Nudge, okay? There'll be a time and a place to talk about it."

"There'll never be a time or a place," I mumbled. They ignored me.

"She doesn't have to be so rude," Nudge huffed. I imagined her crossing her arms and pouting. "I'm just wondering about what happened between her and Fang. I'm one of her best friends. Don't I have a right to know how far she goes with a guy? I'm not asking for specifics or anything, I mean _ew, _I don't want to picture her boyfriend naked. I just want to know what happened, you know, in general."

I sighed.

"Base?" she added hopefully.

"Third," I replied, my voice muffled by my arms. "Now leave me alone."

Nudge squealed, and I grimaced. I lifted my head and took another sip of my drink. Hair had definitely been there. I felt the few wet strands on my shoulder.

"I was there before," I reminded her. It was surprisingly weird talking about this with her. She was right; she was my best friend. Before Fang and I had done anything in any way sexual, I felt like I could tell her anything about us. But now that we'd actually done stuff, I felt like it was my own business and she didn't have a right to know it. It felt private. And I kind of liked having my own secrets. At least these sorts of healthy ones. "Were you?"

Nudge shuffled her feet. "Aunt Flo is still in town. It was a pretty slow night."

"I was," Ella informed me. Nudge and I whirled, my vision going blurry for a moment due to the pain this brought. Ella was blushing. "I mean…well, yeah. Pretty close to it tonight, but we did some stuff before. Nothing over third base, though. I don't think I'd do that without asking you guys about stuff first. I haven't really…you know. I don't really know much. About anything."

I nodded. Nudge was surprisingly quiet. Ella coughed, obviously embarrassed.

"I don't think I would either," Nudge agreed. I thought about it. Honestly, I couldn't imagine going that far with Fang. How I'd reacted last night to just the making out scared me. I'd gone along with it eventually, but how did I know I wouldn't freeze like that when really serious stuff starting actually happening? Not that what we did wasn't serious. I'd never do that with anyone other than Fang, and it was so perfect last night.

Ugh. I was so confused. I really needed to stop thinking so much about it all. The important thing was I hadn't frozen when it was really important. And on top of that, I'd gotten over my own fear without Fang even noticing. I'd conquered one of my demons. It might come back, but I was sure I could overcome that one again.

Despite all of my thoughts of strength, I was still having doubts. We'd gone that far twice. Both times it was fast and rather unexpected. It was cute afterwards when we cuddled or hugged or tenderly kissed, but it was just instinct and sweat and fucking without the actual fucking during the real ordeal. And I wasn't sure if I liked that or where that was going. I was definitely secretly hoping that Fang and I would go all the way. One day. Maybe not this summer, but someday in the future. But I didn't want it to happen like that. I wanted it to be cute and romantic and cheesy like in the movies, where there was a big comfy bed and we could actually make love, not snap into a hormone-induced make-out session on the sink in a club.

"Earth to Max," Ella said in my ear. I jumped slightly and realized that with the pain in my head going down, I was actually able to zone out into my standard depressing thoughts. Wonderful. "I think you got a text from Fang."

"What does it say?" I asked without thinking. Ella took my phone from the table before I could retract what I'd just said.

"Hey, Max," she read, "just wondering if you're awake yet so I can call you. I just woke up. I love you."

I sighed and put my hand out for the phone. Ella complied without saying anything, and Nudge was silent, too. I hoped that meant they were done harassing me for the day. I looked at the watch I'd put on before I came downstairs. It was four in the evening already. Hardly the time for yoga pants and a simple camisole unless it's a lazy day. But in my mind, it was a lazy day. My thoughts were becoming incoherent again. I speed dialed Fang and took one more sip of coffee before leaving the kitchen to lounge on the couch in the next room. Fang answered quickly.

"Hello, love." My eyes closed and my lips formed a smile at the sound of his wonderful voice. It did wonders for my headache. "That was fast. How are you?"

"I've got a bit of a headache," I admitted. He laughed lightly.

"I'm not bothering you, am I?"

"Of course not," I replied, still smiling. I stretched and made a baby dinosaur noise, making him laugh again. "Don't laugh at me. I love you."

"I love you, too, beautiful."

We stayed in comfortable silence for several seconds. I turned over on my stomach and let one of my legs wave around a little.

"How much did you tell Nudge?" he asked. He sounded playful, but I knew he was also being serious. I sighed.

"Not any more than she needed to know. She's been quite the obnoxious child this morning."

"I can fucking _hear you_!" sounded the topic of our discussion. Fang and I laughed.

"I take you don't want to hang out at all later tonight?" he asked, sounding semi-hopeful. I made a face.

"I'd love to," I said. "I just don't think my body's up for it."

"Same," Fang replied, sounding relieved. "I love you, though. I'll always love you, Max."

"I'll always love you too." I loved the way my name sounded in his voice. It gave me butterflies and goose bumps and chills all at once. His voice was beautiful in general. Hearing him say he loved me was like listening to angels sing the hallelujah chorus.

"Can I call you again later?" Fang asked after a moment. "Iggy's making food and I kind of want a shower before it's done so I don't smell like sweat anymore."

"Cute," I commented, raising an eyebrow even though I knew he couldn't see it. "Of course you can. I already showered. I'll be here the rest of today and probably most of tonight. I love you."

"I love you too." He paused. "Can you hang up first?"

I laughed. "No, you."

"You."

"_You_."

"Please, baby?"

My smile widened. "No, come on, don't pull that card."

"What card?" he asked innocently. "I'm only telling my girlfriend how much I love her. Can't I do that?"

I shook my head and giggled. Actually _giggled. _I stood up and walked towards the window, putting my hand on the frame. I almost wanted to pop my foot up like in the Disney movies, but I decided against it. The headache kept me from a mood that good.

"I love you, Max."

"I love you too, Fang."

"I'll hang up if you want me to. I love you."

"I love you too, babe."

I heard the click of disconnection and he was gone. I held my phone against my ear until I heard the beep that meant call mode had turned off and sighed, turning away from the window and setting my phone down on the couch. I stared at it for several seconds. Then, unable to resist, I picked it up once more and typed out a quick message.

_I love you._

I placed the phone back on the cushion and walked back into the kitchen. I knew what the reply would be.

_A/N: Hope you enjoyed! I love each every one of the 70 people who hit the last chapter the night I had it up. I know it's a lot to ask, but please review if you can. I don't care if it's a positive review or a negative review, a smiley face or a frowney face, I just want a little bit of feedback here. I want to know if you guys like how I'm progressing with the story and if you like the development of the characters. I rely on your critiques to know where to go with the next chapter, and now that I have some actual time to write, I'd really like to hear what you guys have to say. Don't be shy!_

_Songs I listened to while writing this chapter: DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again (Usher), I Want It That Way (Backstreet Boys – Acoustic Cover by Boyce Avenue), and Just the Way You Are (Bruno Mars – Acoustic Cover by Boyce Avenue). All of these songs will be linked on my profile. See you soon!_

_-YAY_


	29. Chapter XXIX: Strong

**CHAPTER XXIX**

_(Mood music on my profile.)_

There's something undeniably satisfying about knowing that somewhere in the world, whether it be near or far, someone's thinking about you. It doesn't even necessarily have to be positive. Just being aware that you're in somebody's active thoughts—neutral as they may be—is pretty fucking cool. And knowing that same someone not only cares about you, but _loves _you? Well, there's a reason it takes nine whole clouds to describe elation.

That being said, I spent the rest of the day lounging around the cottage, dividing my time between my friends and my boyfriend, the latter of which stayed on the line with me well into the evening before we were both holding in yawns. I fell asleep on the couch listening to Fang's beautiful voice singing a song I'd never heard, enveloped in a shroud of bliss that kept time far away from us, believing that this would never end and everything would be perfect in the morning. Even I knew there was a dopey smile on my face as my mind shut down and I let myself float away, fully expecting to never wake up and spend my dreams with my love.

I awoke in the wee hours of the morning, before light even touched the horizon. For a moment, I thought I'd just had a falling dream for a split second, but the silence decided for me that Fang had long since fallen asleep and Ella and Nudge had long since gone upstairs to pass out themselves. A sudden buzz against my face made me jump up quickly.

"Fuck," I mumbled, rubbing my sleepy eyes, waiting for the blood to stop rushing from my head. I reached blindly for my phone, the obvious source of the vibration. Fang knew better than to text me this early, especially with the knowledge that all my electronic devices are eternally on vibrate. He was probably asleep anyway. I sighed. My mother. _Stupid time difference. _

I pulled up the menu for missed calls and saw none. The same applied to the voicemail menu. I blinked to dispel as much sleep as possible and sat as I opened my inbox. The blocky text indicated a total of eight unread messages. _God damn, woman._

I tapped to read them, and my heart immediately froze in my chest.

No.

_No._

"Shit," I whispered, staring at the screen. The word _fuck _played over and over in my head, a slow chant that built with the same intensity as the bile rising in my throat. I swallowed thickly, shoving it down. I quickly scrolled through the rest of the messages, as if I needed an extra dose of horror.

_Don't tell me you've found someone new babe, I thought we had something special._

_You filthy whore, I saw you with him in that club. I know you were thinking of me while his fingers were in you._

_You look so beautiful when you sleep, just thought you should know._

_Why aren't you replying, Max? What have I ever done to you?_

_You used to wake so easily you know, it was so easy to get a quick midnight fuck back then._

_Please baby, wake up and come outside. I know you've been craving me like I've been craving you._

_Fuck you bitch, you think you can just find someone better and replace me without me finding out? You're fucking wrong, and I'm going to do more than watch you one of these days._

I dropped my phone like it was on fire. I could feel my breathing start to increase, I could feel the hyperventilation coming and I didn't even think to try to stop it. I started gasping for air, staring at my empty hands, watching them shake uncontrollably. My legs turned to jelly and I collapsed on the ground, my numb fingers finding my hair and tangling in it, pulling hard so I could just feel something other than this agonizing panic. I opened my mouth and tried to scream, but nothing came out except for a ragged breath. I tried again to no avail.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I fell to my side and let my elbows squeeze my knees, trying to take steadying breaths so I could make some sort of noise. Ella and Nudge had to know. I may not have been thinking rationally, but they had to know. They were in danger. _I'd _put them in danger.

Dylan was here.

Dylan was watching me.

Fucking _Dylan._

I finally found my voice and I let loose the most bloodcurdling shriek humanly possible. I heard a thump from upstairs and I screamed again. Then there weren't even distinguishable yells, my voice was just a keening wail of garbled gibberish that not even I understood. Footsteps pounded down the stairs and I curled in on myself further at the sound.

"Max!" Ella's voice was high and scared. I felt arms around me and I stiffened. "Max, what happened? Are you hurt? Please tell me what's going on."

I felt more arms, fingers wiping at my face. I hadn't realized I'd started crying, but the tears were there, soaking my face, my neck, my shirt. I was a fucking mess. Then I remembered. My eyes snapped open.

"Get off me," I croaked, pushing away. I wiped my eyes and was met with the gazes of my two best friends, their faces confused and terrified. "We need to leave. Now."

Nudge's eyebrows knit in concern. "What? Why?"

"We just need to go," I repeated, trying not to sound pleading and failing. "Please. To the boys' house. At least. Just..." I choked a little and dabbed at my eyes again, attempting to stand on my shaky legs. Ella immediately offered her arm. "Please, guys. Please. I'll tell you when we get there. Okay? We need to go."

Ella nodded, still looking nonplussed. Her eyes flickered over to the couch, taking in the still-lit phone. I grabbed it and closed all the windows without looking, shoving it into my camisole. I ignored everything and started walking for the door before stopping to swallow another panic attack that threatened to explode.

"Walk with me?" It wasn't supposed to be a question, but that's the way it came out. Nudge and Ella immediately rushed to my sides and supported me as I hustled as fast as I could outside. My eyes opened wide as they adjusted to the dark, and I glanced shakily around, twitching at every shadow. I scanned the window to the living area I'd been sleeping in and saw nothing.

"Max, what's going on?" Nudge's voice was scared. I tugged on her arm, ignoring the question. The trip to the other cottage, though rather short distance-wise, seemed to take a lifetime despite the sprint we fell into about halfway there. Ella tried to call Iggy to let him know that we were coming, but he didn't answer. That made my heart stutter, but I didn't stop to try calling Fang. I wouldn't stop until we got to our destination safely.

I jumped, stifling a scream as Nudge reached around me to unlock the door. She flashed me another look, but nobody said anything further.

The entire place was dark. I shivered. There were no clocks around and I didn't dare check my phone again for the time.

"Max," Ella whispered. I whirled to look at her. I could only imagine what she was seeing. Me, wide-eyed and edgy, ready to scream at any instant for absolutely no reason she could think of. She hadn't even known about the first text, all that time ago. She probably thought I was insane. I swallowed a hysterical giggle. Insane. She was probably right.

"What?" My skin was crawling; I had to get upstairs to check on Fang. _Check on Fang. _Oh, God. What if something had happened to him? It'd be all my fault. Not even he could argue against that. Everyone would fucking hate me.

"It's not Fang, is it?" Although she was significantly taller than I was, Ella seemed extremely small now, almost curled in on herself in anxiety and bewilderment toward the situation. She visibly swallowed. "He's not making you scared, is he?"

My eyes searched her face for a sign she was joking. She wasn't. I shook my head slowly and headed for the stairs, trying to ignore the skin crawling feeling that someone was watching me.

_He probably is watching you, _that treacherous little voice in my unconscious hissed. _He's probably texting you right now. He's probably even found Fang. You know what he does to people he hates._

I didn't even have the energy to tell the voice to shut up. I was running on pure adrenaline, and my heart was pounding so fast by the time I got to Fang's room that I thought it would break a rib. I held my breath as I walked through the open bedroom door—I knew he always slept with it shut—and caught sight of his sleeping form. I didn't move until I heard the slow breathing of my boyfriend sleeping.

I exhaled, suddenly exhausted and freezing. Quietly, I closed the door behind me and walked over to the bed. Fang rolled over then, some of his too-long hair flopping over a closed eye. I sat down next to him and sleepily but lightly ran my fingers through it.

_Take that, voice, _I thought triumphantly as I laid down, snuggling myself into Fang's chest. He groaned quietly and I felt his arm wrap around me as he placed a kiss on my head.

"To what do I owe this early morning pleasure?" he mumbled, his voice raspy from sleep. I snuggled into him deeper, latching onto the front of his shirt.

"I just needed to see you." My voice was muffled, and I was glad he didn't seem to hear my voice break at the end. I looked up at his face. He kissed my forehead, his hand rubbing my back in a familiar pattern. I sighed and put my head back down, giving in for now. I couldn't tell him. Not yet. In the morning, maybe. Or if my phone went off again.

The device suddenly seemed like a lead weight in the front of my camisole. I shivered slightly, and Fang pulled me closer, thinking I was cold.

"Fang," I whispered. He made a noise I assumed was acknowledgement. "Why was your door open?"

"Had to use the bathroom." He made a sleepy sound and lazily stroked my hair. "Forgot to close it. Too tired to get up when I noticed."

I nodded, feeling sleep start to take over. "I love you."

"I love you too, Max," he said quietly, nuzzling my hair softly. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

I didn't answer. I was already gone.

0_-_-_-_0

The next morning, I didn't wake up to peaceful thoughts of love and acceptance, I certainly didn't wake up thinking the earlier shit was a dream, and, to my dismay, I didn't wake up to Fang. Nothing like a heart attack first thing in the morning to wake you up. When my blind groping turned up empty, I sat up immediately, ignoring the blood rush.

"Fang?" I muttered, rubbing the crustiness off of my eyes. Attractive, I know. The bed moved as if someone had taken a seat a few feet away. I pulled my hands away from my face and thanked Jesus that my boyfriend was here, unharmed. I sighed and pulled myself out of the sheets to sit in his lap, feeling at least a little better when his arms encircled me and squeezed gently.

"G'morning," he replied rather cheerfully. He leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose. "Sorry if I woke you up. I was trying to get dressed. The guys want to go to the beach soon."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "We can't just stay in?"

He laughed. "It's, like, eighty degrees out and it's not raining. It's the perfect beach day. Why?"

I sighed and looked over his shoulder. The sun outside the window was brighter than normal, that was for sure. I squinted against the sun. Surely nothing could happen to us in broad daylight in the middle of a public beach. He probably didn't even have the balls to stalk me during the day. I bit my lip. _Stalk. _That's exactly what this was. He was stalking me. A public place suddenly appealed to me much more than sitting around in a private house all day.

"I just don't want to get too sunburnt," I lied, feeling the weight of guilt on my shoulders immediately. I didn't know what Fang would do if I told him right then. There had to be a better time. Maybe...the next time I was contacted. If I was contacted. Maybe he was just trying to make me flip shit. To get me to talk to him. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"I'll help you with sunscreen," Fang assured me, effectively ending my train of thought. I broke my gaze with the window and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips before sliding off his lap. It was then that I realized he wasn't even wearing a shirt.

"Sorry." I tried to make my voice sound as normal as possible. I even attempted a smile. "You can finish getting dressed. Are Nudge and Ella up?"

"Yeah." He gave me a quizzical look. "They seem kind of worried about you. They wouldn't tell me much."

I faked another small smile. "They worry too much. I'm gonna go raid your kitchen now. If you don't mind."

Without waiting for a reply, I spun and left the room, trying to look nonchalant. The other doors upstairs were open, so I listened for noise from downstairs. I couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped me when I heard banter and a Nudge rant about breakfast. I checked to make sure my phone was still secure and made my way to the kitchen. Luckily for me, nobody gave me a second glance when I stepped into the room. No sudden silence, no obvious tension. Good news.

"We're going to the beach," Nudge was arguing. "There's going to be ice cream and soda and shave ice and junk food all over the fucking place. There's no way we need an entire pancake breakfast, let alone one with waffles and eggs and shit. I don't understand why _you _don't understand my simple reasoning. Come on, Ella, tell him I'm right!"

"I don't really care, Nudge." Ella squealed as Iggy poked her side, right where she was most ticklish. She slapped his hand away. "Ass!"

"Love you too," he remarked sarcastically. The softness in his eyes spoke differently, and I watched in fascination as he wrapped her arms around her from behind, resting his chin on the top of her head. Their relationship seemed so easygoing and laidback. Is that what they saw when they watched Fang and me together?

"Max?" I blinked and looked at Nudge's serious face. I felt something in me shrink.

"What?" I asked hesitantly, fighting the urge to bite my lip to smithereens. Nudge huffed.

"What do you want for breakfast?"

Then the relief came, and everything in the kitchen seemed to relax. We decided in favor of Nudge eventually, just to ease the whining. I ate an apple half and sipped some coffee that I shared with Fang when he came down, and together we watched, amused, as Iggy made his banana into an innuendo and Ella blushed profusely at Nudge's teasing. It was nice to be introverted at a time like this, but I still couldn't rid myself of the tension I felt coiled somewhere in my stomach, and so I embraced everyone else's activities as welcome distractions.

"You okay?" Fang eventually asked me. Nobody else was listening, so I turned to look at him, smiling my best.

"Yeah." I played with my hands in my lap. "So…ready for our beach day?"

He nodded, actually looking a little excited. He usually hid his emotions well, or better than me at least. I raised a questioning eyebrow, but he just smiled as if to say, "You'll see."

"Let's go!" Nudge suddenly exclaimed, making everyone jump. "We're losing daylight, people!" She turned her gaze to me and slid a plastic bag across the table. I could see the familiar pattern of one of my swimsuits inside. I nodded and smiled my appreciation and got up to change as Nudge began barking orders at people. I rolled my eyes and locked myself in the bathroom, pulling out my bikini. A tube fell to the floor as I unfolded the fabric.

A tampon.

I felt my face heat up, even though there was nobody with me. So that's what they thought my episode was about. They thought I was just hormonal. I took a deep breath and replaced the tampon in the bag, shoving it in the vanity under the sink with my clothes and phone. I knew I shouldn't blame them, and I should, in fact, be thanking them, but I didn't want to think about anything at that moment. I changed quickly and efficiently, running my fingers through my hair and checking the mirror to make sure I loosened the worst tangles.

Leaving the bathroom, I joined up with the others and together we walked to the beach. Fang held my hand the entire way, and I even noticed the slightest bounce in his step. He was happier than usual. That made one of us. It did, however, ease some anxiety, though I intermittently scanned the path and the beach for that familiar blonde hair.

I tried to relax. I really did. I fell asleep for a few minutes while Fang massaged sunscreen into my back, waking to a kiss on my shoulder. When I poured the lotion onto my hand to reciprocate his gesture, my mind left its cloudy fog and the anxiety returned. I knew Fang could sense something was wrong, but he didn't ask. He was preoccupied with whatever was making him so happy.

"Wanna talk?" he asked at one point, gently, like you would ask a younger sibling. I knew. I'd asked Angel the same thing in the same tone on many occasions. I fish-mouthed for a couple seconds before firmly pressing my lips together and shaking my head. I wanted to tell him so badly about what had happened, and I could feel the guilt riding on me harder than ever. But I couldn't. Not now. Not yet. Not while everyone was so chill.

So I stuck out the next few hours, hopping into the ocean with Nudge and Ella and running around in the shallow water. I fell once on accident, then again awhile later on purpose, just for the laughs of my friends. And I plastered on that fake grin I used to know so well and kept it there, laughing at jokes and gossiping good-naturedly about the boys and people we watched and others from back home.

"Fang's watching you," Nudge giggled, pointing, as the sun started its trek down from the noon position. I looked over my shoulder and saw that he was indeed leaning back on his arms and watching our antics. Not staring, just relaxing and absentmindedly checking up on us. On me. My heart fluttered a little despite myself. I gave him a goofy grin and a cheesy wave before pushing Nudge over. Ella laughed, and the day went on.

It wasn't quite sunset yet when I became aware that Fang was no longer in his place with Iggy and Sam. I ignored the small twinge I got with the realization.

"Sam!" I called, stepping out of the surf onto the wet sand. "Iggy!" I let my feet sink a little and moved my toes, feeling the grains massage the bottoms of my feet, before I jogged over to the two guys. They were looking at me.

"Looking for Fang?" Sam asked knowingly. I nodded, relieved that he seemed to know something. He looked at Iggy, and they shared a quick glance.

"He went back to the house," Iggy informed me. "He had to take care of some stuff."

"Oh." I swallowed. "Will he be coming back soon?"

Sam shrugged. "You can go ask him if you want." He shook out his hair, a bit of sand flying out and hitting my legs from where he sat. "Do you think the girls would be up for a game of chicken?"

I blinked. "Uh, probably. I'm gonna go, okay? Tell them for me. So they don't wonder."

When my request was confirmed, I started making my way to the cottage quickly, worst case scenario images threatening to overtake me. I steadied my breathing. Dylan wasn't one to pick fights with people who had any possibility of taking him down. He was more interested in me, anyway. He wanted to scare me. Even back in the old days, he'd never laid a finger on my mom or Angel. Not even on Ella and Nudge.

_It's all about power, _I told myself, though I broke out in a jog before I was out of eyeshot of the beach. I didn't really care what it was about. I just wanted Fang to be okay.

The door opened just as I ran up to it and my breath caught in my throat until I saw Fang. I didn't slow down, plowing straight into him and wrapping my arms around his waist like I was holding on for dear life. He staggered back a foot or so, obviously surprised.

"Jesus Christ," I whispered, nuzzling my face into the hollow of his neck, breathing him in. He gave a short, nervous laugh, but reciprocated the hug.

"That's me," he joked lightly. "I was just coming back for you. You weren't worried, were you?"

"Worried?" I squeaked, trying not to sound hysterical. My giggle was a little too high, but he didn't seem to notice. "Iggy and Sam told me where you were. I just…I missed you."

Fingers lifted my chin up and Fang's lips met mine. It was sweet and tender, and for just a moment, it made me forget about how everything was falling to shit. I tried to deepen the kiss by pushing forward, but Fang pulled back just enough to separate us. I looked up at him in confusion. He was smiling.

"Come on," he urged, taking my hand and leading me inside. He closed the door behind us with his foot and gave me one more peck on the lips before pulling me upstairs. As we neared his room, the rushing made me lose my footing and I fell face forward. Fang's arms immediately swept me up away from my hard destination and continued smoothly, carrying me bridal style until we came to his door.

"You don't have to carry me," I huffed, crossing my arms. "I just tripped."

"A fortunate coincidence." Fang laughed quietly. Confused, I watched as he opened the bedroom door, and my mouth dropped open when I saw what he'd done.

There were candles on every hard surface, a couple of them out and smoking slightly, but most of them lit and burning. They had no scent that I could detect, and in collaboration with the just-setting sun, they illuminated the room softly and romantically, highlighting the white petals on the carpet.

"I couldn't find roses for a decent price in Hawaii," Fang whispered. "I hope lily petals are good enough."

"What even…" I trailed off as I stared unabashedly at the beautiful setup. "Fang, what—?"

"When we were at the KPW, you said you weren't ready to go further than we did," he said carefully. I felt my face heat at the memory. "I'm not saying we have to go any further now, but I figured I'd make it nice anyway. So you have good memories with me. I don't want you to remember our first summer together as groping in a public bathroom. You don't seem like the kind of girl who's into that."

I was in full-out blush now, turning and hiding my face in his chest. His arms, so strong but so gentle, came up and embraced me by my waist. I breathed a ragged breath.

"I don't even know what to say," I whispered, awestruck. "It's so beautiful, Fang."

I remembered the night we'd both had too much sugar and too much energy to know what to do with, and I remembered every second we'd spent together in that public bathroom. I didn't regret a moment of it, but knowing that Fang cared enough to do this for me, _wait _for me? It was perfect.

Fang's fingers found my chin again, and he tilted my head up so we could kiss. It was still tender, but this time I could actually feel the passion I'd felt before when we'd had our hands all over each other. I reconstructed the memories in my head, remembering how his stomach and chest had felt, remembering all the lines of his face. I pulled away for a moment for a necessary breath, and Fang rested his forehead against mine as we regained our air.

"You're so beautiful when you blush, Max," Fang murmured, tracing my cheek with his index finger. It sent electricity racing down my spine. I bit my lip and pulled his mouth back to mine, tracing his bottom lip with my tongue, begging entrance.

I didn't notice I was walking backward until the backs of my knees touched the bed. I tugged on the hem of his shirt; he pulled back only a couple inches to slide it off his torso, and my hands immediately found his shoulder blades and drew him back to me, gently sliding my nails across his well-toned back. I gasped when his tongue trailed down the corner of my lips, his mouth finding my collar bone and licking lightly. I remembered the same feeling from the other night, right before his fingers…

I froze, making Fang stop immediately. He raised his head to look at me.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked, a small frown on his lips. I didn't answer, only watched the wall as the light grew dimmer from outside. It was getting dark out.

"Are the others coming back?" I whispered. Fang cocked his head.

"I told them not to. That we'd be busy."

I didn't even have time to blush, I just groaned and went limp.

"Max, what's wrong?" Fang sounded panicky. For him, anyway. He pulled away and I heard the sound of rustling fabric, but I was staring at the ceiling, away from him. He reappeared in my vision several seconds later, shirt back on. "What did I do?"

"Nothing." I covered my face with my hands. Oh my God. This couldn't be happening right now. "You didn't do anything. We need to go. We need to find the others. We shouldn't be alone right now."

"Why?" I didn't miss the hurt. "What's going on?"

"It's not you!" I snapped, jumping up. "None of this is about you! I love you, okay? We're not safe right now! None of us are safe!"

"What are you—?" Now he just looked confused.

"Dylan, Fang!" I shouted, pushing on his chest, trying to budge him towards the door. I felt the prick in the backs of my eyes, and I couldn't stop the tears. "He texted me last night! He knows I'm here, and he knows what I've been doing, and he's probably watching us right now so fucking _move!_"

"What." It wasn't even a question, so I didn't bother replying.

"Please," I begged, unable to see properly. "I'll tell you everything, but we need to get out of here now, okay? I don't want him watching us."

"Why is he watching us?" Fang's tone was practically dead now. There was no panic or hurt or any sort of emotion I could distinguish. I looked at him in disbelief. "If he's here, he's not in this house or so help me I will fucking kill him."

I swallowed and moved away from him on the bed, sitting up and wrapping my arms around my legs. I coughed away the tears running down my throat and whispered, "I know. He's probably outside. I don't know."

Fang was quiet for a moment. "Can I see the text or texts?"

"My phone's downstairs."

More silence. "Do you want me to get it?"

I reigned in the hyperventilation. "I don't want to be alone."

More silence and then strong arms around me that I didn't flinch away from. I couldn't believe this was happening right now. Fang had done so much for me and I'd just fucked it all up. I hated myself.

"I'm sorry." I sniffled pathetically. "I'm so sorry, Fang. I shouldn't have…I know you…I'm sorry."

He shushed me softly and rubbed my back, but I could tell he was still extremely tense. As he tried his best to calm me, he whispered, "It's okay. I love you. None of this is your fault. Please don't say sorry. We'll do something about this, I promise."

Slowly, slowly, I came back from the folds of my mind I tried to dig myself into. I knew I couldn't box myself away. Not this time. There was too much at stake. There was Fang, there were our friends. I'd put all of them in danger and nothing I did could stop it. And if there was one thing that absolutely wouldn't help, it was shutting down.

"Do you know why he's doing this?" Fang asked quietly. I shuddered against a violent sob. He wouldn't ask if he didn't want to know. He sounded genuinely curious. And while I didn't have a definite answer for him—as much as I would've liked to—I had some theories.

"I'm not sure," I responded instead. I pulled away from him a little and wiped at my eyes, now drying up. He sat back to give me some space.

"There has to be some reason," he urged gently. "You can't think of anything?"

"I don't know, Fang!" I unwillingly snapped. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I really don't know."

Fang got up then, and my eyes widened as he turned without a word and left the room. I waited for endless minutes, fluctuating between holding my breath and hyperventilating, something that was getting way too familiar. Then he was back, his face as expressionless as ever, my phone in his hand.

"Did you—" I started.

"Yep." I saw the taut way Fang was clenching his jaw, the warm light I usually saw in his eyes replaced by a steely, metallic sort of anger. My heart sank as Fang sat again slowly. "I don't understand."

"What?" I could barely hear my own voice, so he might not have been ignoring me when he continued.

"What happened after you left him?" Fang's voice almost broke. Almost. I pretended not to notice and looked away. He was still holding my phone. I drew in a breath.

"He called me," I whimpered, closing my eyes tight. "The day after, when I was…in the hospital. He seemed so different on the phone. I had to make Ella and Nudge leave the room. They didn't want to, but I made them." I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to keep myself on track. "He apologized. So many times. He didn't stop until he was crying. I wanted to hang up. I knew that's what they would want me to do."

"Then what?" It was a monotone.

_"I forgave him," I whispered, my hands making fists in the sheets. I looked at the wall, studying a small stain near the floor. I couldn't look at the phone in his hand. The lump in my throat was growing._

_"Why?" he deadpanned. I flinched, but he continued. "To make him feel better? To help him move on with his life?" I felt his hands take mine, untangling my fingers gently despite his obvious underlying rage. "After what he did to yours?"_

My next breath was practically a gasp. I hated this. I was being so weak. I was supposed to be the strong one. I was always the energetic, upbeat, happy-go-lucky friend. And then fucking _Dylan _had entered my life. _My _life. Not his. He took over everything, he sewed himself into my every thought. I'd believed that he was a good person, but aside from the abuse—because I knew, I'd always known, that's exactly what it was—he was a manipulative asshole who would never stop trying to make me miserable.

"It's working." I looked up at Fang through my fresh tears. "He's working. This is what he wants, Fang."

"We're not going to let it work," Fang growled. "He's not going to win. Not this time. You've got me now, Max. You've got Iggy and Sam, too. And Ella and Nudge and Angel and your mom. You have people who aren't him." I nodded tearfully. "First, we're going to get his number blocked from your phone. He wants attention? We won't give it to him."

"He'll come looking for me," I choked. I couldn't manage anything else.

"Not with me around," he replied grimly. "I'm not leaving you alone. We've got a month and a half left on this vacation, Max, and we're going to enjoy it." He suddenly grabbed my arms and made me look at him. The intensity of his gaze calmed me rather than scared me. "If you see him," he demanded, "you tell me. If this thing gets any farther, I don't care what you say, Max. I'm calling the fucking police."

I cringed. "But…"

He shook me a little. "Please don't argue," he pleaded. "Please. If I didn't know you hated the idea of involving law enforcement, I would've been on the phone with the cops when you first told me about that son of a bitch. The only reason I'm holding off now is because of you. Okay?" I saw wetness in his eyes. He was _crying. _"Max?"

"Okay," I managed. He loosened his grip and ran a hand through his tousled hair, glancing warily at the window. "He hasn't texted me since, has he?"

Fang shook his head, pulling out his own phone with his free hand and hitting a number for speed dial. I heard the dial tone in the dead silence of the room. He cleared his throat.

"Iggy?" He listened, looking my way. "It was interesting." I blushed, thinking about what Iggy counted as interesting. "I need you to get Sam and the girls and come back. We have shit to talk about."

I tuned out the rest of the conversation and went to stand by the window, searching for a pair of blue eyes and a head of blonde hair, maybe a face with a smirk on it or a middle finger. But there was nothing except for smooth sand, some grass, and the path to the beach. A palm tree tilted towards the last rays of the sun as it disappeared below the horizon. The once romantic red had turned to blood in the sky, painting the room a sickly color. More of the candles had burned down. I hung my head. The guilt was gone, but the pain and shame from my past life were back.

I looked up and watched as the red leeched out of the sky, revealing blackness. Most of the stars were visible; the light from the city didn't pollute the sky from this spot. I remembered reading an article for a psych class that said smiling puts you in a better mood and raised the corners of my mouth. It might've helped a little.

I needed to be strong now. There wasn't time to be weak. I would fight Dylan with everything I had left to give, and if I went down, I would go down swinging. But this wasn't just about me anymore. I had Fang and all my friends, new and old. If Dylan wanted to destroy me, he'd have to get through all of them, and I knew they would fight almost as hard as me.

A small smile spread across my face. I hoped Dylan was watching me. I hoped he could see that I wasn't letting him win, that I could smile even though he was trying his hardest to make me cry. I winked cheekily off into the darkness and left the window, drawing the drapes and turning back to Fang, who was still on the phone.

Yes, I could be strong.

_A/N: Thank you to all you beautiful people who reviewed, and even those of you who just enjoy this story. Thank you for reading my words. I apologize for my lack of updating lately. I've been kind of sad. Writing makes me happy, though, so I've started writing again. Please check my Tumblr (the link is on my profile) for update information. I love you._

_- YAY_


	30. Chapter XXX: Battle Plan

**CHAPTER XXX**

I felt good that night, probably better than I should've after telling everyone I loved that I was being stalked by an abusive ex-boyfriend. Sans my mom and Angel, of course. I'd decided to keep them out of the loop on this one for the time being, and I'd made the others promise to do the same. They didn't need to know anything yet.

The reactions of Ella and Nudge were fairly predictable; I knew exactly the right words to say to calm them down, and while I knew I didn't have them entirely convinced, my confidence must have been off-putting to say the least. I felt a surge of pride at that. Here I was, Max Martinez, being brave for the first time in God knew how long.

It was nice.

I knew it was too good to be true.

"You've been awfully quiet," Fang commented softly. I looked up at his face from my place on his chest, but I could only make out his outline in the dark.

"I'm trying to get to sleep," I replied, trying to be just as quiet. "Now hush. You'll wake everyone up."

"It's okay. They're out." He shifted slightly, and one of my legs slipped from his and hit the couch. I was surprised by the sudden temperature change. I knew he was warm, but I hadn't realized I'd been using him as a space heater. "Do you not want to talk?"

"No," I whispered vaguely, still trying to see his expression. I didn't know how serious he was being without it. "I mean…I don't not want to talk. You know?"

"You know they're sleeping here because they're worried about you." It wasn't a question. I sighed and tucked my face back into my boyfriend's chest, giving up.

"I know," I groaned. "I hate it."

"You hate that you have friends who care about you?"

I almost snorted, but caught myself. "Yeah, that's it."

"Then what is it?"

I thought for a moment. I wasn't entirely sure, to be honest. I didn't know what I hated. I loved my friends. I loved Fang. I even loved his friends. Three completely different types of love. "Maybe that's it."

"What?"

I propped my chin on my hands. "Like, love."

Fang laughed quietly. "Can't say I was expecting that. What about it?"

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "That's really as far as I've gotten. I read in a book once that people with low self-esteem feel guilty when they get good things. Like anything from luck to positive interactions. Maybe I'm a complex psychological case or something. I don't know."

"You still have low self-esteem?" He didn't sound surprised, just curious. I shrugged.

"Maybe not. I mean, I did. When I wasn't…" I stopped to gather my thoughts, not to dispel them. "Before you, I guess. Before shit even really went down. I was always the super happy person. Always excited, always ready to have fun. Like the hyper cheerleader, you know? Except without the peppy. I never felt particularly good about myself, though, and that always bothered me."

"That you didn't like yourself?" Fang prompted. I shook my head slowly, deep in thought.

"No," I said at last. "_I_ always bothered me. It wasn't just the way I looked. I probably could've lived with that, drawn it up to some stupid teenager phase. I just annoyed myself. The way I talked, the way I got too eager for fun things, the way it was so easy for me to lie to people about feeling good. That's what bugged me, I think. And then the thing with Dylan started and it got even worse." I blinked in realization. "That's why I thought it was my fault. Right? I was already so insecure about myself and thinking that I would never let myself find help that it was easy as fuck for him to manipulate me."

Fang was quiet. I reached out and poked his cheek.

"Are you still awake or did I bore you to death?"

"I'm awake."

We were silent for a few more moments. It wasn't too uncomfortable, but I could feel him getting tense. I opened my mouth, but he beat me to the chase.

"I don't know, Max." I heard him ruffle his hair. "I've been having such a good time on this vacation. With you. I don't think I would've had this much fun with just the guys. I probably would've killed them both eventually out of frustration. They're cool, but you know how they get." He exhaled. "I can't imagine anyone hurting you. Or, I can, but I don't like to. Obviously. It just…it makes me mad. I can't even describe it. I've never hated anyone before, but now I just don't even know."

"Not me?" I practically squeaked. His arms were around me immediately.

"Never you," he assured me. "I love you. I just…can't imagine why someone would ever want to hurt you. Or break you. Or try to make you feel like shit. Like him. It's so hard not being able to do anything about it, and hearing you talk about it the way you've been lately is almost as difficult. It's like you're forgetting about what he did. You couldn't even mention his name a week ago without crying."

"I haven't forgotten." I knew my voice was a little on the cold side, but I couldn't help it. "I'll never forget, Fang. It's the opposite. I guess…I don't know." I bit my lip. "I feel like I'm getting better. Lots better. Like I'm sort of healing or something. I don't want to be scared anymore."

"But he's following you," Fang deadpanned. I flinched involuntarily. It was slight, but it was enough. "Max, please let me—"

"Not yet," I murmured, curling into his chest. I pretended to be getting tired, but my eyes were wide open as I stared at the back of the couch. "I don't want to talk about it, okay? I just really want to sleep. Tomorrow maybe."

"Tomorrow definitely," Fang confirmed. I rolled my eyes, but my heart stuttered a little. I didn't want to involve police. I never wanted to involve police. I'd made the mistake of not calling them before. Now I had no chance. They'd never believe me, and even if they did, there would be nothing they could do now. Not for the old stuff, and definitely not for sending embarrassing texts that would no doubt mean nothing to anyone other than myself and my circle of friends.

"Definitely," I lied, closing my eyes and trying my best to relax.

_You're brave. You're strong. You're beautiful. You have people to talk to. They'll protect you. You'll protect yourself. You're safe._

I felt a soft kiss on my hair, and I was out like a light.

O_-_-_-_O

Waking up in the morning was hard. It was one of those mornings where your eyes are kind of stuck together and everything's too warm and you really want to get up because you have to pee, but you just cannot legitimately move from that spot. I don't know if I'm the only one who's had those.

Besides my bladder issue, I also woke up to no Fang and no friends. Or so it seemed. When I pried open my crusty eyes, I saw Iggy chilling on the other couch watching NBC on mute.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked awkwardly. He grinned.

"Waiting for you to get up." He rose and offered me a hand. "I guess I got put on lookout or something. I don't really know. They're in the other room. I made pancakes."

"Alrighty." I took his offering and together we entered the kitchen, where normal chatter, everyday conversations, and easy bantering were taking place simultaneously. I watched quietly, half amused and half asleep, as Nudge fought Sam for maple syrup and Fang and Ella stuffed their faces with fluffy buttermilk goodness.

I wasn't sure whether I should be glad or worried about this strange atmosphere that exuded normality, but I took a deep breath and helped myself to some of Iggy's creations. As I filled a plate, I felt a palpable change in the air. The easygoing attitude of the room was giving way to a familiar tension.

_Your fault, _my brain said. I shook my head to clear it, adding an extra pancake to my already tall stack for good measure. When I turned around, everyone was still in motion, but I could feel them watching me, gauging my current temperament.

"Hey," Fang finally greeted. It softened the mood a bit, and I felt the corners of my mouth turn up a little. His morning voice could always do that.

"Hey." I sat down next to him, grabbing some syrup. "How was your sleep?"

He smiled. It barely reached his eyes, but he replied, "Alright, I guess. How was yours?"

"Good." I felt his ankle gently hook around mine under the table. I directed my attention to Nudge and Ella. "What about you guys?"

"Good," they chirped simultaneously. I kept my eyes closed for a little longer than necessary on my next blink to keep my face composed. But I couldn't do this anymore.

"You guys don't have to do this," I commented, trying to sound cool. It came out with a harder edge than I'd wanted. Or maybe that had been my intention. I wasn't even sure myself. Ella sighed.

"Look, Max, we're just—"

"You're just _nothing,_" I interrupted. I was two seconds away from completely losing it. "That's exactly it, isn't it? You're doing nothing. You're trying to act like everything's okay. How can you do that? How can you pretend like nothing is wrong right now? You made Iggy _guard _me!"

"He wanted to watch the news!" Nudge squawked in protest.

"On mute, Nudge?" I clenched my fist under the table, trying to focus on the dull ache of my fingernails pressed into my palm. It didn't work. "I know that everything is tense right now and I know it's all my fault." Nudge opened her mouth but Ella placed a hand on her arm to stop her. I ignored the interaction. "Dylan's trying to make me feel uncomfortable. He wants there to be tension between all of us. That's how he works, how he's _always _worked."

"Max is right," Fang chimed in. I looked at him in disbelief, and was met with his open, honest gaze. "Except about it being your fault. This is all Dylan, Max. But you're definitely right: there's more to him than violence. He plays mind games. You're one of the smartest people I know. How do you think he kept you at his side for all that time?"

I blinked. I knew, of course, that Dylan had manipulated me into staying. He mostly used fear, like he was now, but he could be persuasive with his boyishness and false vulnerability as well. Though it didn't take actual physical brutality into account, Fang's simplified explanation made a lot of sense.

"It's definitely nice to understand," Ella replied slowly, letting things sink in. "At least…part of the way. I don't think any of us will ever completely understand. The guy's obviously got something wrong with him, Max. We can't let him keep doing this. You know that even after we get all this out there and we go back to being normal and happy, he won't give up. He hasn't given up yet."

"He'll do something stupid." Nudge slammed her fork down next to her plate, the metal making a dull thud on her napkin. "That's what we're scared of, Max. He hasn't hesitated before. Why now?"

"Because he's waiting."

I think everyone at the table jumped when Sam spoke. He didn't seem to be a big talker, and I hadn't heard his opinion yet on anything dealing with the current state of affairs. I'd kind of assumed he didn't like me much. Why would he? He'd come to Hawaii with his friends to relax for a summer vacation. Then he'd met three girls, one of whom was extremely fucked up and brought danger to everyone she cared about. Fuck if that didn't mean a good time.

"Waiting for what?" Leave it to Nudge to ask the obvious.

"He probably knows you told us," Sam stated. "About the texts, about him, about your relationship. He also definitely knows who you have. You have Ella and Nudge. You have me and Iggy. And you have Fang. Who do you think is your biggest weakness?"

I looked around at everyone. Even Iggy was sitting by now. I shrugged. "Fang."

"And who do you think is most likely to confront someone who's hurt you the moment he steps out of line?"

"Fang," I replied instantly.

"You're saying he wants the reaction?" Fang asked. I took his hand under the table and squeezed it.

"Yours specifically." Sam cocked his head slightly. "That's just my theory, though. It's obviously not the only option."

"It definitely sounds like something he'd do," I admitted. "What should we do, though?"

"Call the police," Ella muttered. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"I don't think that's the way to go with this." My eyes opened and I stared at Sam, surprised. I knew without looking that everyone else around the table was doing the same. He put his hands up in surrender. "Don't look at me like I'm crazy. I just think Max has a valid reason to not want them involved. Until we get evidence that he's actually hurt her, they can't do anything. They can't even find him."

"He put her in the hospital," Nudge pointed out, her eyes steely. I sighed.

"Nudge, Sam's just trying to help," I reminded her. "And I think he's right. If we keep acting normal and he doesn't get the reaction he's looking for and I don't go back to being a killjoy, he's going to get frustrated and it'll be easier to get proof that he's insane."

"Mentally ill," Sam corrected me. I rolled my eyes.

"Right."

"Are you sure you want to do this, Max?" Ella asked suddenly. Her face was soft, but her eyes were concerned. She reminded me so much of my mom at times. "It's definitely not our only option. We can call the police if you decide you want that. Or we could even go home. Screw the vacation. You don't have to be strong and blasé for us this time."

"No," I agreed. "I know I don't. But it's like you've all been saying. He's really never going to give up. He's gone through so much to make me feel like shit, time and again. I'm not letting him win this one. It's my turn, and he's not hurting me or anyone I care about." I paused, and when no one said anything, I added, "Ever."

There was a moment of silence.

"Alright," Iggy said finally. "So…vacation things."

"Palm trees," Ella suggested.

"Beaches," Nudge added, the lines in her forehead disappearing.

"Shave ice on the beach sounds pretty good right now," Sam suggested. This was met with nods all around the table, and suddenly the mood was back to normal. I breathed a soft sigh of relief. No one heard, or at least no one acknowledged it. I was glad things were getting back to real normality instead of that fake shit.

Fang leaned over and kissed my hair. "You ready?"

I knew he was talking about more than just going to get some shave ice. I nodded and tucked my head against the hollow of his shoulder, whispering, "I just want him to stop."

"I know. He will." Fang paused thoughtfully. "I'm proud of you, you know? For being brave about all of this. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

I smiled at that, a really big, goofy, ear-to-ear smile. "Thanks."

"Thank _you_," he replied, kissing my head again. I laughed and pulled back so I could see his face. He had a smile on as well.

"For what?" I wondered aloud. He leaned forward so there were only a couple inches between us, then kissed my nose.

"For thanking me."

_A/N: Hopefully some of you caught the meaning behind that ending. Thanks as always to those of you who are reading, reviewing, and/or enjoying. I love that you love my work, and I'm so grateful to all of you beautiful human beings who took the time to wish me well. Updates are now at 1 pm CST every Sunday. I love you all. - YAY_


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